GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – July 2017

Audio Autopsy – July 2017

01/07/17  ||  Global Domination

Condor: Unstoppable Power

8.5/10

Habakuk: …the unstoppable POWER!! Fucking yes! One of the best 80s thrash emulations I’ve heard. 9

Myrkrarfar: With a moniker like Condor there’s no way in hell you’re going to fail. Best thrash album in a loooong time. Ca-caw! 9

sincan: I always appreciate bands with zero fucking around. Here we get a smorgasbord of thrash, black, heavy and speed metal all in the dirty fashion of no posers, this with a fitting production as well. 8

Ziv: Blackened thrash from Norway steeped deep in the early Teutonic roots of the genre. Perfect for boozing, headbanging, and raising one hell of a ruckus to piss off the suit-laden squares that pullulate the Western world. 8

Below: Upon a Pale Horse

7.0/10

Habakuk: Say, have you heard of this band called Candlemass? 7

Myrkrarfar: Epicus Doomicus Candlemassus Semiripofficus. Penis. 7

sincan: Old school doom heavy metal in the veins of bands like Candlemass? You fancy? No, well, dye your short black hair and tell the world how evil it is against you and your headphones then. 7

Ziv: Below play a very competent traditional doom metal of the European strain. My only complaint is the sometimes vacuous lyrics. 7

Ajattara: Lupaus

6.8/10

Habakuk: Death metal and Finnish. There are worse combinations. 7

Myrkrarfar: Straight-forward, to-the-point black metal. Gotta love the passion. 7

sincan: Not often one see innovative and rather interesting cover art these days, but this album sure got one, the music is not that shitty either. 7

Ziv: While not bad, per se, Ajattara’s style of black metal doesn’t really have anything going for it except outright aggression, which becomes tedious after a few songs. 6

God Dethroned: The World Ablaze

6.8/10

Habakuk: Death metal and war. Well, why not you might say? 7

Myrkrarfar: Ominous yet melodic, GD impress me more than they have in the past. 7

sincan: War, pew pew, boom, pffff, pew, wroooombaaaaaaaampaaaow, ehm, sorry it’s a concept album or something alright? Not bad but bands like Marduk do it better, but if you can’t get enough of war inspired blood-drenched mud metal, well, here is a chance to throw yourself in front of the tank. 6

Ziv: A blackened version of Asphyx. Nothing new or memorable here. Pointless yet enjoyable. 7

Avatarium: Hurricanes and Halos

6.5/10

Habakuk: I expected way, way worse. This is NOT a Nightwish clone. Read the next comments to find out what it actually is. 6

Myrkrarfar: Uneven in quality, but finally they are showing signs of finding their very own style, and Ann-Smith is really coming into her own. Love the 70’s vibes. 7

sincan: I thought that this was some carpe diem rock metal yolo thing for short haired tribal tattooed disco gym lifting dudes, I don’t know why, well yes I do, it’s the name’s fault since it is in that typical manner. I was for ONCE wrong, it was all about the retro doom thing. 7

Ziv: Imagine this record with Mats Levén on vocals and you would have a killer new Candlemass album. But it’s not Mats Levén, it’s Jennie-Ann Smith. And while she really doesn’t have a bad voice, it’s not quite my cup of tea. 6

Firespawn: The Reprobate

6.5/10

Habakuk: Reminds me a bit of recent Sinister, but that doesn’t say much. 6

Myrkrarfar: Top-notch performances can’t hide the fact that much of the material is derivative and extremely average. Come on guys, you can do better. 6

sincan: Firespawn’s first offering was a good one, and I was curious about this one when it came out, however I think this lacks some of the blackened intensity, riffing and songwriting in general compared to “Shadow Realms”. 6

Ziv: After a fairly lacklustre debut album, Firespawn’s sophomore release radically ups the ante. LG sounds on top form, bellowing over a mixture of Morbid Angel-inspired riffs and traditional Swedish death metal. 8

Sólstafir: Berdreyminn

6.0/10

Habakuk: The vocals just sounded a bit like a parody, but after some getting used to, we are served some decent, unobtrusive nordic…stuff. 6

Myrkrarfar: No. Learn how to sing properly, you fuck. If you’re going to play this kind of progressive pop, which is fine, you need a vocalist who knows how to fucking sing. No. Just. No. Such a shame, but no. 4

sincan: I must say that I wasn’t fully pleased after the first listening, it felt a bit blunt and not as epic as for instance “Svartir Sandar”, however I gave it tons of spins and it grows for every listen and well, now I’m actually pleased and have been listening to it daily. Try the third song if you don’t believe me, it’s a hulava track! 9

Ziv: Continuing their transformation from black metal to, let’s face it, pop, Sólstafir sound more and more like a poor man’s Sigur Ros. 5

Narthraal: Screaming from the Grave

5.8/10

Habakuk: Sluggish death metal that slugs in one ear, out the other. 6

Myrkrarfar: Preferred point of entry for fans of Swedeath? The Narthranaal, of course. Did you hear me? THE NYAHRTHANYAAAAAAHL!!! 7

sincan: Sounds like a classic Swedish death metal band, but the tracks are lacking a bit in terms of keeping the listener fully hooked like puberty girls on Bieber. 5

Ziv: Back in the day I would’ve bought this album strictly for the cover. But thanks to the internet I can avoid wasting my cash on another ultra bland old school Swedish death metal act. From Iceland. 5

The Monolith Deathcult: Versus

5.8/10

Habakuk: These guys still haven’t failed. 8

Myrkrarfar: Too much bore to want for more. Still above average, but where’s the unbridled passion and madness? 6

sincan: Can we please get some more theatrical samples? No, have you run out of them? Okay, well, that’s a shame then. 5

Ziv: Oh dear! These guys had the brilliant “avant-garde” idea of mixing death metal and industrial metal. Avant-garde? Yeah, I guess. Brilliant? No. 4

Ayreon: The Source

4.8/10

Habakuk: Another epic concept album by some random band. And when eventually the pan flute came in, it was kind of over. 5

Myrkrarfar: More is more. Except when it’s not. 4

sincan: I’m not saying that someone wrote a fucking book about this album on Wikipedia, but, hey, someone did. People sound rather lyrical over this release but I can tell you that they’re wrong, it’s merely ok and some parts will give you over 300% of the recommended daily intake of calories in form of cane sugar. 5

Ziv: I dare anyone to remain intrigued by 90 minutes of modern prog metal based around who knows what concept. I guess if competence equals drawn out sterility then we have a winner. 5

Danzig: Black Laden Crown

4.3/10

Habakuk: Sorry, but this is obviously about Mr. Danzig’s voice, and that one ain’t too great anymore. 5

Myrkrarfar: I’ll stick to his one good song. Yes, the one about your mom. 3

sincan: Some drunk guy shouting in the microphone? 3

Ziv: Herr Danzig’s voice hasn’t aged very gracefully. But if you can get over the severe vocal limitations and the crappy mix, it turns out that after a few listens some of the songs can actually grow on you. 6

Dream Evil: SIX

4.3/10

Habakuk: Maybe when I was 12. Maybe. 3

Myrkrarfar: “Six”. Six? 6

sincan: Boring cliché-filled power-infused heavy metal. 4

Ziv: Power metal fans, behold! Specializing in mid-period Helloween, Dream Evil have managed to release six albums of rather pointless power metal. This one’s for you! 4

DragonForce: Reaching into Infinity

3.8/10

Habakuk: Looks a bit like one of these too-modern-for-their-own-good lego boxes. Unfortunately the blocks don’t fit so well for me here. 3

Myrkrarfar: WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I NOT HATING THIS?!?! What? I’m drunk? Seems like that shit won’t just kill you – it’ll make you tolerate DragonForce. From AA to AA. 5

sincan: and then over the rainbow and far away. 4

Ziv: Dragonforce sound like an even more sugarcoated Helloween (if that’s even possible), but on meth. A sonic nightmare. 3

All That Remains: Madness

2.3/10

Habakuk: One, two, three! Three-word band name – and no surprises. Not even in the score: 3

Myrkrarfar: The other staffers requested shittier records to bash. You’re welcome. 2

sincan: Madness is a relative word, for me madness is enjoying cool guy semi emo nice chorus macho metal. 3

Ziv: It’s madness that bands like ATR still get a budget to record shitty metal/emocore albums. 1

Alestorm: No Grave But the Sea

1.5/10

Habakuk: The Dropkick Murphys called. They are gonna smash your fucking faces. 2

Myrkrarfar: One point for the idea of a bonus disc with all songs with dog barks instead of vocals, and one point for the song title “Fucked with an Anchor”. Would you look at that, mateys, you got two points! Alas, this pirate shall steal one away! Guess why? ‘Cause yarrrr terrible. 1

sincan: Some bands are really great at recording the same old track over and over again, but as long as it works why not? Well, because it is stupid to do so you should stop. In Alestorms defense, it’s a stupid band. 3

Ziv: Pirate metal = absolute garbage. (Except if you’re called Running Wild.) 0

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: