GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – August 2016

Audio Autopsy – August 2016

01/08/16  ||  Global Domination

Dark Funeral: Where shadows forever reigndark_funeral-where_shadows_forever_reign

8.0/10

Habakuk: Might be a bit blasphemous round these parts, but I was surprised they were that good! 8

Myrkrarfar: This. This is how you fucking make a comeback. It’s not a comeback album? Fuck you, I don’t fucking care. This – this is how it’s fucking done. 8

Cobal Caldera: Difficult to choose tracks for the playlist. 8

Nails: You will never be one of usnails-you_will_never_be_one_of_us

7.3/10

Habakuk: Yes. Yesssss. These guys have just raised the bar a bit. 9

Myrkrarfar: Excuse me, I’ll just pick up my teeth from the floor. 7

Cobal Caldera: Direct and technical grindcore. 6

Gojira: Magmagojira-magma

7.3/10

Habakuk: Cannot find anything wrong with this. If it had come a few years earlier, I would probably be impressed. 7

Myrkrarfar: Like a mammoth’s cock, the massive magnitude of “Magma” cannot be fully digested in one session. 7

Cobal Caldera: These guys mean business. As usual, not all tracks are that great. 8

Lord Vicar: Gates of fleshlord_vicar-gates_of_flesh

6.66/10

Habakuk: It’s insane how popular this lo-fi stoner style is these days. It could be worse, but it’s also kind of hard to stand out. 6

Myrkrarfar: Hear my prayer, o Lord. Let the gates of flesh open before mah balls. I am ready. Bring me puss…salvation. 7

Cobal Caldera: Cool if you’re into retro-doom. I am. 7

Scorpion Child: Acid roulettescorpion_child-acid_roulette

6.3/10

Habakuk: Solid and heavy stoner, heavier than the singer’s voice and the hipster cover imply. 6

Myrkrarfar: It’s like they wrote one song and loved it so much they decided to carbon copy it. Twelve fucking times. Good thing the song is pretty decent. 6

Cobal Caldera: You know the deal: occult rock, female vocals – a la Janis, this time – and heavy moments. I approve. 7

Be’lakor: Vesselsbelakor-vessels

6.0/10

Habakuk: I really have a soft spot for these guys. Melodic death metal with balls. I even forgive them the pretty obvious Megadeth ripoff at the beginning. 8

Myrkrarfar: Bo’ring. 5

Cobal Caldera: I like what these guys did in the past, but “Pretzels” was a challenge to my patience. A few really good songs, though. 5

Yngwie Malmsteen: World on fireyngwie_malmsteen-world_on_fire

4.7/10

Habakuk: “No Rest for the Wicked” features a pretty close interpretation of the the yodeling part here. Still it’s pretty hard to… FOCUS on his playing for an entire album. 6

Myrkrarfar: I love Yngwie. He’s one of my all-time heroes. But Yngwie, my man, I’m sorry – this ain’t good. By a mile. 3

Cobal Caldera: “The fatty is the fatty” is the rough translation of what an old instructor of mine would say about Yngwie Malmsteen. I feel the same way. 5

Feared: Rebornfeared-reborn

4.7/10

Habakuk: Boreboreborebroeborebroebnoreberbeborobororr 4

Myrkrarfar: Thankfully, all the other songs besides “The Morgue” were incredibly mediocre, so that one got to shine. Very altruistic of them. 5

Cobal Caldera: Modern death metal with dignity. 5

Mortillery: Shapeshiftermortillery-shapeshifter

4.3/10

Habakuk: Ballgripping shit vocal award goes out to an unsuspecting thrash band. Didn’t we cover that with the ripping guitars?? 5

Myrkrarfar: Would you like to hear Rob Halford screech in a thrash band? Me neither. 4

Cobal Caldera: Look, a thrash band with chicks! 4

Volbeat: Seal the deal & let’s boogievolbeat-seal_the_deal_and_lets_boogie

4.0/10

Habakuk: Always on the brink of being pretty damn annoying, Volbeat somehow work. 6

Myrkrarfar: Disgusting delay can’t hide the fact that every song is the same. Boring. 4

Cobal Caldera: Track 1 is pretty amazing, and there’s two more decent ones… out of 13. Out-of-fucking-13. Fuck the macho cover art. 2

Lacuna Coil: Deliriumlacuna_coil-delirium

3.7/10

Habakuk: The problem really is that if you make music for 14 year old girls, you kinda sound like it. Despite talent. 5

Myrkrarfar: I think I just got cancer. 2

Cobal Caldera: Korn go djenty and make a collaboration with Cristina Scabbia. 4

Rage: The devil strikes againrage-the_devil_strikes_again

3.3/10

Habakuk: Instrumentally I have to bow my head in shame, but the vocals are just barely meeting requirements. 6

Myrkrarfar: “It’s my way or it’s the highway, it’s heaven or hell!” Shakespeare would be proud. 3

Cobal Caldera: It’s funny coz it’s sad. 1

Tarja: The brightest voidtarja-the_brightest_void

3.0/10

Habakuk: Tarja, oh Tarja. What hast thou donest again. 4

Myrkrarfar: Oh. My. God. Shut. Up. Already. You. Cumbucket. 2

Cobal Caldera: Not available in my area. THANK SATAN! 

Whitechapel: Mark of the bladewhitechapel-mark_of_the_blade

2.7/10

Habakuk: Skip metal. 3

Myrkrarfar: Who the fuck even listens to this shit? 2

Cobal Caldera: Not particularly unlistenable for a deathcore act. I mean most of their songs sound pretty much the same to me. Whatever. 3

For this month’s best songs according to Cobal Caldera, click here.

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