Audio Autopsy – June 2016

Audio Autopsy – June 2016

01/06/16  ||  Global Domination

Desaster: The oath of an iron ritualdesaster-the_oath_of_an_iron_ritual


Habakuk: Didn’t they use to be a thrash band? This is some pretty black/death infused thrash then. Not too bad. 8

Myrkrarfar: Like most things out of Germany, Desaster are predictable yet well-crafted, unimpressive yet functional. Not very original cover image, though. 6

sly: Ripping black thrash metal firmly anchored in the past. It’s as if Otep and Babymetal had never existed. 7

sincan: If all the tracks were as good as the riff in the first one, this would be a fucking killer, thrashing your trailer, mother’s couch or castle and whatnot. It is worth a listen or two or more. 7

Daemonomania: Good black/thrash.  Epic melodies/sloppy vocals.  Same old/Desaster.  May/buy.  7

Interment: Scent of the buriedinterment-scent_of_the_buried


Habakuk: Old school death metal for fans of old school death metal. 7

Myrkrarfar: Something old, something new. Something borrowed, my balls are blue. 5

sly: Interment manage to keep the old Swedish death metal vibe intact – proving that even 25 years on, when perfectly executed, some genres will still sound fresh and relevant. 8

sincan: You want your deathened death without technical nonsense and steroids, yes? Good sheep! I guess this one can get the younger version of you to wake up in your old man’s body (even if you were a sexy gal, you’re an old man now). 7

Daemonomania: Unhateable.  Just pure old Swedeath right in the face.  That being said, you’ve heard it all before.  6

The Wretched End: In these woods, from these mountainsthe_wretched_end-in_these_woods_from_these_mountains


Habakuk: Not that wretched at all. The shoegazy end? 7

Myrkrarfar: The wretched meh. OK, meh+1. 6

sly: In these bowels, from this anus. 3

sincan: …comes some decent black metal. 6

Daemonomania: For being the offspring of the mighty Zyklon, these dudes sure don’t get much respect or attention.  I definitely hear a lot of “Aeon/Disintegrate” in here, and will delve further thereinto.  8

Moonsorrow: Jumalten aikamoonsorrow-jumalten_aika


Habakuk: I sat through it. That’s quite the achievement. 7

Myrkrarfar: So epic. 666 plus points for the Gehenna/disco grooves! 8

sly: Moonsorrow specializes in long, drawn out black metal sagas that are either epically tedious or tediously epic. 3

sincan: Finnish metal, I wonder if they use the keyboard as if there was no tomorrow (now I didn’t wonder, I already knew). Still better than many other melodic synth pop bands. 6

Daemonomania: Their metal is as black as some of the keys on their hardworking keyboard.  I prefer “Sorrowfilled Moon”.  3

Embalmer: Emanations from the cryptembalmer-emanations_from_the_crypt


Habakuk: Death metal. 6

Myrkrarfar: I will find you, inferior growler, and I will teach you. 4

sly: Emanating straight from the early nineties, Embalmer’s newest release is nothing new but it is oh so delectable. Grinding death metal at its best. 8

sincan: I might sound old, but I don’t get these kinds of vocals, but again, I guess this is not for me?  4

Daemonomania: Generic as fuck, but certainly not displeasing.  This sounds like the corpse that ate the cannibal corpse’s corpse. 5

October Tide: Winged waltzoctober_tide-winged_waltz


Habakuk: A few other bands have done this before, I strongly believe! 6

Myrkrarfar: I can dig it. Can you dig it? ‘Course you can. Dig it dig it. Doomily diddily-oh. 7

sly: Melodic/death/doom/whatever metal that employs every textbook cliche. Thanks, but no thanks. 3

sincan: With an album title that makes me think about a circus theme I feel afraid. Yes, I still fucking hate the circus theme thing, however the name tricked me and it wasn’t shit. 6

Daemonomania: Heard these dudes are already working on their new album entitled “Host Reveries.”  Will feature hits like “Coast of Perdition,” “The Spraying of the Mounds,” “The Pretty Good Conjuration,” “Isolation Months,” and much more.  5

Cult Of Luna/Julie Christmas: Marinercult_of_luna_julie_christmas-mariner


Habakuk: I’m sure there are people that think this is the shit, but to me this is background music. 5

Myrkrarfar: It’s like watching a movie with no script and only long scenes. An angry pixie screech pierces the meandering every now and then. 5

sly: Cult of Luna and Julie Christmas together? Be still, my beating heart. This musical voyage took me straight to nowhere. Truly pretentious post-metal crap of the highest degree. 2

sincan: This album has one big problem, it is too long compared to what is going on during that hour. Yes, it is relatively good, but it is hard to stay enthusiastic towards the end. 7

Daemonomania: CoL’s last few albums haven’t won me over, and hearing that they teamed up with a holiday-themed lady didn’t exactly inspire fits of giggling either.  Turns out I was wrong, looks like Jenny Easter really lit a Kwanzaa fire under their asses.  7

Ihsahn: Arktis.ihsahn-arktis


Habakuk: Some off insertions of saxophone or electronics cannot really hide the fact that this is pretty damn generic over long stretches. 6

Myrkrarfar: “Mass Darkness” mauls my balls in all the right ways. The rest merely prod a little. 7

sly: At times this album is almost brilliant, but mostly it’s just tepid in an elitist-art-fart sort of a way. Wait, or is that actually the perfect recap of Ihsahn’s career? 5

sincan: If you take 50% Strapping young lad, add 25% Finnish melodic death with many synthesizers, then stir in 20% modern rock and top with some electronic music, you might find yourself cocking this album. It has its moments, and it has its non moments. 6

Daemonomania: Don’t know how I feel about this.  No wait, I do.  2

Aborted: Retrogoreaborted-retrogore


Habakuk: Never thought these guys were especially great. And why should we change our opinions? 5

Myrkrarfar: This gets old, fast. Just like an aborted. 5

sly: What we have here is some very bland modern death metal. Bland modern death metal for douchebags, specifically – a genre that Aborted helped create, refine, and even sterilize. Thanks for all that. It’s too bad they can’t be retroconceived and then literally aborted. 4

sincan: Technical, modern, on the border towards core-abominations. 4

Daemonomania: Haven’t checked in with ze ‘borts in a while, good to see they’re still going strong.  Some big nasty grooves as always, but overall too much modernity/melody for my pure, elite, supremely underground tastes (ilikedfleshgodapocalypse”king”alotonce).  6

Novembre: URSAnovembre-ursa


Habakuk: Sounds (and looks) a bit like “Whoracle”-era In Flames at times, a bit spherical at others, and sometimes just plain boring. 6

Myrkrarfar: What the FUCK is WRONG with this guy’s accent? I can’t understand a single fucking word he’s mumble-slurdling. AND he’s auto-tuned. Fuck off. Other than that, the spirit of 90’s melogothdeath soars high. 6

sly: Carmelo’s nasally singing voice is a hard pill to swallow. Common side effects include sudden outbursts of laughter, shuddering attacks, wide-eyed incredulity, and an uncontrollable urge to toss your speakers out the window. 3

sincan: This was one odd little fucker with mixed genres and vocals who goes between mumbling, screaming and ordering pizza, or did I do that? 5

Daemonomania: Ever wish that mid-period Opeth had more alt-rock parts?  Me neither.  2

The 69 Eyes: Universal monstersthe_69_eyes-universal_monsters


Habakuk: What sorcery is this?? This sounds like a rock version of the Coffinshakers. I’m surprised myself, but: 7

Myrkrarfar: The amount of eyeliner is too damn high! 2

sly: This is a joke, right? You can’t keep a straight face while singing the words “baked in a pie” as backing vocals. Listen to this and tell me if you think this could possibly be serious. Because I am genuinely bewildered… 1

sincan: If you need a theatrical goth fix with vibes from the rockabilly era, this is your savior in your, not so wet, night. 6

Daemonomania: I’m sure my kvlt-o-meter is draining just by typing this, but the right mix of Type O Negative, Graves-era Misfits, and Billy Idol might turn out pretty rad.  However, the sterile production and limp choruses on display prevent that from happening.  4

Deftones: Goredeftones-gore


Habakuk: With each Deftones release I wonder again what makes this such a legendary act? 5

Myrkrarfar: Fun times: let’s make some emo make-up of the slightly more nekro variety! I’ll provide the knives, you’ll provide the blood. 4

sly: I’ve never enjoyed Moreno’s voice – too much whiny angst. Another snoozefest of an album that will lull just about every generation Xer out there right to sleep. 1

sincan: Almost music to sleep to. 6

Daemonomania: What?  No.  0

Babymetal: Metal resistancebabymetal-metal_resistance


Habakuk: The playlist for this month reads: … Aborted Babymetal … What more to say. 1

Myrkrarfar: Completely fucking bonkers…but I still kinda like the madness. It’s like a freak show from which you can’t turn your gaze away. 6

sly: Kawaii auto-tuned J-pop vocal and somniferous “metal” riffs coupled with the most mainstream arrangements serve up a truly dreadful sonic experience. This is everything horrific about contemporary culture in one band. Every iota of metal in you will resist this stuff. 0

sincan: This is so weird, and not in a way were one just can throw it in the trash can along with the ordinary fetuses, socks with holes and whatnot, but in a way there also exist hooks that grab one’s attention along with a stupid face trying to figure things out. I guess those European Japan nerds will dig this beyond healthy doses and I guess also others can as well. For me this is just a freak show, which was a bit funny for some seconds, but I can live without it. 5

Daemonomania: If I was dressed as a schoolgirl AND a lumpy tentacle was pumping hot liquid cocaine up my ass, I might enjoy this.  Since only one of those two things is currently true, nope.  2

Lita Ford: Time capsulelita_ford-time_capsule


Habakuk: If you want to end your guilty 80s rock pleasure, this could help. 3

Myrkrarfar: This album gave me an STD. Just like Lita in the 80’s. Yes, I’m old. 3

sly: If it’s all the same to you guys, I’ll just stick to The Runaways and pretend this never existed. 2

sincan: I just don’t get why I should listen to this. 3

Daemonomania: “Every Rose Is A Battlefield” – the Poison and Pat Benatar collaboration you’ve been waiting for IS FINALLY HERE.  3

Otep: Generation doomotep-generation_doom


Habakuk: If your band has a spoken word poem as a bonustrack, it might be time to question …everything. If you haven’t already started after hearing your singer. Wake up! 3

Myrkrarfar: Otep by Otep, ooh baby. Gonna get to you giii-ii-ii-ii-iirl. 2

sly: Imagine if Ke$ha made a nu metal album. You’re welcome. 0

sincan: Generic doom, no sorry, it stood out in some way, but good it was not. 4

Daemonomania: Imagine Crisis with less oddball metal and more shitbag pop and rap parts.  El sucko.  0


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: