GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – April 2016

Audio Autopsy – April 2016

01/04/16  ||  Global Domination

Deströyer 666: Wildfiredestroyer_666-wildfire

7.2/10

Habakuk: Strong, destroying, satanifying blackened death. 8

Myrkrarfar: Not many black metal bands manage to combine a “Fuck you”-attitude with a more spiritual Satanic aura as well as Deströyer 666 do. Kudos for that. 7

sincan: Fuck you and your shit taste in music, let’s send ’em “Hounds at ya Back”, check it out, cuntornado. 8

sly: Blackened thrash or thrashy black metal? Whatever the subgenre, this album offers many a great hook and a rejuvenating sensation to the ears amidst this month’s sea of dull, uninspired pabulum. 7

Cobal Caldera: Black metal with heavy, speed and thrash metal overtones here and there. Quite fun to listen. As well, and unlike other records of the likes, this one gets an interesting level of depth. 6

Daemonomania: Last few D666 albums were pretty weak, so good to see these guys (just KK) back in action.  Plenty of quality “epic” moments, but the production is still a tad too clean.  7

Entombed A.D.: Dead dawnentombed_ad-dead_dawn

7.0/10

Habakuk: Not sold on the vocals, but an HM2 fuzz overdose remedies that to some extent. 6

Myrkrarfar: All heart and no flair. Thanks. 6

sincan: Skip the drama and just make the rock’n’roll of death music, the latter works out better for me. I’ll take Entombed (A.D.) anytime over overproduced macho death swag. 8

sly: Their best days may be long behind them but Entombed (A.D.) seem to be inspired, and thus interesting, once more – giving us this moody Swedish death metal album which puts most young scensters to shame. 8

Cobal Caldera: At first I was like meh, and then, bam! Half this record made it to the AA playlist for this month. Groovy shit, that’s for sure! 8

Daemonomania: Has its moments, and that slow crunch/morbid melody combo is as delicious as ever.  Yet I can’t help but think back to those three masterful “before death” albums aeons ago, and compare this somewhat unfavorably.  6

Bombs Of Hades: Death mask replicabombs_of_hades-death_mask_replica

6.66/10

Habakuk: I fear this will enjoy the same fate as its predecessor, namely fade from a cool first impression pretty quickly. 6

Myrkrarfar: I haven’t felt this dirty, rotten and slimy since last I jerked off to your mom. 8

sincan: In through one ear and out the other. It is not bad, yet not interesting. 5

sly: With every release these guys get better and better, managing to sound fresh whilst remaining firmly old-school. Packed with killer riffs, high-level musicianship, and dripping with atmosphere (love the mellotron), Bombs of Hades have released a near-masterpiece of Swedish death metal. 9

Cobal Caldera: Good to hear such an accomplished crusty sound here. The mix with death metal is sinister, heavy, and massive. Really dig this shit. 8

Daemonomania: Crusty death metal with my least-favorite type of evil vocals – you know, the kind that ruined the new Bloodbath?  Some nifty solos, but I’d actually rather listen to Entombed A.D. then someone trying to rehash Entombed B.C. again.  4

Gehennah: Too loud to live, too drunk to diegehennah-too_loud_to_live_too_drunk_to_die

6.66/10

Habakuk: Confession: I, too, like Motörhead. 7

Myrkrarfar: For every 3-4 beers, the verdict goes up a notch. 5

sincan: You don’t have to be Einstein to understand what the album will be all about while reading the title. Punked up metal, like an angrier and drunker Motörhead meets lead guitars meets fuck you some more and vomit in the hair. 7

sly: Starts off with a ripping Motörhead-style track but the novelty wears off and tedium sets in around track three. Competent, yes, but I’ll pass. 5

Cobal Caldera: Super metal. Super alcoholic. Super effective. 8

Daemonomania: Imagine the formerly loudest band on earth got an invitation to burn a few churches.  What’s not to enjoy here?  “If the rumors of an acoustic set turns out to be true/Then we’ll break in backstage, and piss in your fondue!”  8

Fleshgod Apocalypse: Kingfleshgod_apocalypse-king

6.2/10

Habakuk: Pretentious as Hell, but digestable and not nearly as annoying as “death metal meets classical” implies. 7

Myrkrarfar: All flair and no heart. No thanks. 5

sincan: Symphonical death, let me get away all the puke in my face and those pieces I threw up on you. Okay, not entirely feces material but what the fuck, opera tudeluuuuudeluuu death?!? 4

sly: You know that longing you’ve always had for Arcturus-style keyboards coupled with something a bit more death metallesque? Well, girls, this is the band for you. But all sarcasm aside, the music we’ve got here is as vacuous as the combination of the words “fleshgod apocalypse”. Seriously, what does that even mean? 4

Cobal Caldera: I’d say most metallers today are not artists, but mere entertainers. That’s hardly true for FA. The thing with such grandiloquent records is that if you don’t truly engage, they feel indistinct after a while. Quite fun to see CoF and Dimmu haters love this band… 9

Daemonomania: Wow, I’m not sure how I thought these raviolis sounded, but somehow descriptions of them always kept me away.  Turns out they sound like Septic Flesh with bigger balls, heightened syphilitic melodrama, and more Amorphis-y cleans.  I am planning on buying this album AND their pasta.  OK, maybe not their pasta.  8

Rotting Christ: Ritualsrotting_christ-rituals

6.2/10

Habakuk: Sounds like the one before but a little worse. No props from me. 6

Myrkrarfar: Listening to “Rituals” is like watching a skilled blacksmith work on a slab of steel. Fascinating yet boring, competent but monotonous. 6

sincan: Yeah, so they pulled up some “ritualistic” tracks on an album as the name suggests, some good and some relatively phony ones. 6

sly: Old Rotting Christ is some pretty amazing stuff. New Rotting Christ sounds like a shitty soundtrack for a budget remake of the already terrible movie “300”. 5

Cobal Caldera: RT have officially developed a unique sound, and unlike other pagan bands, theirs feels completely fulfilled. Not quite metal if you ask me, but great music. 8

Daemonomania: Hey cool, a slower version of Fleshgod Apocalypse!  I dig it, but I’ve already got Satan’s Host’s “Great American Scapegoat” and Behemoth to satisfy my need for superchunky “ordering off the foreign restaurant menu” metal.  ARAKAS KOKINISTOS!  SPANAKOPITA!  SATANAS!  6

Obscura: Akróasisobscura-akroasis

5.8/10

Habakuk: When a band starts to include the Cynic robo vocals, you know the end is nigh. 5

Myrkrarfar: Named after an STD you can get from Liam Gallagher, “Akróasis” sounds more sterile than the conveyor belt at a condom factory. Oh, the irony. 5

sincan: Not my cup of death but if you’re into the more progressive part of the genre you might shred your cock in a grinder. 6

sly: Today’s tech/prog/whatnot death metal bands all seem to be competing for the crappiest bass sound possible. I just keep hearing the bass tone from the Berlin’s “Take My Breathe  Away”. Not very brootal. 5

Cobal Caldera: I never put much attention to Obscura, but after seeing Steffen Kummerer with DTA last year, I figured I should probably correct that. In fact, this record is kinda hypnotic, as it’s full of details, and the structure of the songs invites de listener to get on board and take the tour. Worth a listen indeed! 8

Daemonomania: Continuing on their Cynic-inspired journey through the tech-death cosmos.  Not as big on this style as I used to be, but there’s no denying the skills on display herein.  “Ode to the Sun” adequately fills the “Ocean Gateways” slot.  6

Anthrax: For all kingsanthrax-for_all_kings

5.0/10

Habakuk: Pretty bland for a “legendary” act, don’t you think.  5

Myrkrarfar: Boredom, thou hast a new herald. 5

sincan: It feels like this album never ends and that you more or less hear the same song over and over again. Well, some tracks stand out a little, but it feels like an EP stretched to an hour of music. The vocals are too full of joy and happiness also. 5

sly: The quality of Anthrax’s latter-day output has been a slow but steady decline. These days they sound old, tired, and dare I say washed up? I’ll stick to seeing them live because I don’t recognize them on record anymore. 5

Cobal Caldera: Good record indeed. There’s even a rather proggy feel to a few tracks and the final mix is crystal clear. Not a big fan myself, but hey. 7

Daemonomania: Never dug ze ‘thrax, so this does nothing for me.  Despite the excellent blood eagling in the video.  Take that, Jarl Borg!  3

The Resistance: Coup de gracethe_resistance-coup_de_grace

4.8/10

Habakuk: Resistible. 6

Myrkrarfar: Yesss. The Resistance once again prove that you can’t have too much punk in your death metal. The grooves and attitude just click into place. Most satisfying. 7

sincan: I think I can resist listening to this. Next! 4

sly: Good humans of GD, I give you The Resistance: the very epitome of generic death metal. It doesn’t get much more prosaic and undistinguished than this! 4

Cobal Caldera: Groovy and badass Gothenburg metal à la hardcore. The songs are short and effective, but rather plain and not so distinctive from one another. The riffs are great, but a couple… scratch that, ANY guitar solo would have helped. I wish the grade were higher. 5

Daemonomania: Hatebreed meets old The Haunted.  Naps ensue.  3

Lost Society: Braindeadlost_society-braindead

4.5/10

Habakuk: Borethrash. 6

Myrkrarfar: Now this is how you broaden your sound. I didn’t know thrash could sound this fresh and varied in 2016. Stone finally have an heir to Finland’s thrash throne. 7

sincan: Modern riff oriented thrashened metal of little dog vocals syndrome. 5

sly: Finland’s young Lost Society delivers some rather undercooked “thrash metal” which is, if we’re honest, more emo than thrash. They’re angsty in a cute sort of way, but I’d advise them not to quit their part-time Pizza Hut jobs. 3

Cobal Caldera: I really don’t get the hype about these guys. Don’t get me wrong, many, many riffs here kill! And yet, I don’t see why I should pick “Braindead“ over probably ten more than decent new thrash records that are put out every month. I’d prefer to listen to the faster songs of Anvil’s. 4

Daemonomania: I have never heard these riffs before.  Flip up your hatbrim and let’s eat some pizza!  2

Last In Line: Heavy crownlast_in_line-heavy_crown

4.0/10

Habakuk: Cool, a band! 3

Myrkrarfar: Cut the fat and this album is solid as fuck. Yer mighty arse don’t fit on the throne with them filler track love handles, mates. 6

sincan: Put them blue jeans and boots on and carpe diem like a wild one! 3

sly: An homage to the great Dio, Last in Line features a few ex-Dio members plus a guy called Andrew (vocals). While Andrew is no Ronnie James Dio, he’s still not so bad, but the songs are too FM radio and the cover art is absolutely dreadful (shame on you guys). In the end, it’s hard for me to say whether this indeed holds some appeal on its own, or if it just seemed marginally refreshing compared to the rest of this month’s AA bands… 5

Cobal Caldera: Lemme put it this way: this sounds as though Coby Shaddix could sing, and he joined a grungy heavy rock act. Radio friendly indeed, but not that bad. 5

Daemonomania: More old-man metal, this time with bandmembers who have near-impeccable pedigrees.  Not as dumb as Anvil, and therefore not as entertaining.  2

Amoral: In sequenceamoral-in_sequence

3.8/10

Habakuk: Some inclusion into AA are just plain trolling. Damn you, Myrkrarfar! 2

Myrkrarfar: *to be spoken with thick German accent* “Are you ze Oral?” “Yesch. Am Oral.” Who said porn didn’t have good dialogue? 5

sincan: Those clean vocals are delivered without any emotions at all, is he even trying? 4

sly: Amoral struggle to decide whether they want to be death metal or power metal. But one thing is sure: Finland is somehow leading Germany and Italy in the championship for the most painful yet remarkably weakest vocals. 3

Cobal Caldera: I can’t help it, I’ll always like unclassifiable bands like this. Especially when their songs make sense. Power metal? My ass. Progressive? Not… quite. Melodic? You bet. 8

Daemonomania: Have I become more “euro” by listening to this?  I suddenly feel the urge to rush out and make a gloryhole in a public restroom.  Freaky stuff!  1

Anvil: Anvil is Anvilanvil-anvil_is_anvil

3.8/10

Habakuk: 15 minutes of fame are 15 minutes. Are over. 3

Myrkrarfar: The retirement home beckons. Stupid lyrics, auto-tuned vocals (?!?!) and tired Lemmy-ripoffs. Shit. 2

sincan: Well, the songwriting is painfully bad on the tracks I managed to listen to. 3

sly: Starting with what’s got to be one of the worst opening tracks ever, Anvil make Anthrax sound like fresh young bucks, and remind us just why they faded into oblivion. 4

Cobal Caldera: Anvil will be Anvil. 5

Daemonomania: It’s hard not to crack a smile while listening to this elderly folks heavy metal.  Maybe it’s the Manowar/Priest fan in me, dunno.  Utterly generic and dumb, and no solos that were obviously performed with a vibrator/dildo, but still entertaining. 6

Omnium Gatherum: Grey heavensomnium_gatherum-grey_heavens

3.7/10

Habakuk: “Totally sounds like In Mourning” he thought, while he gently dozed off. 6

Myrkrarfar: Does the world really need another Amon Amarth clone, yet poppier and with a moniker more stupid than your mom? Fuck no. 3

sincan: I can’t stop thinking about Amon Amarth while listening to this album and I guess I’d rather listen to them actually. 5

sly: Oh joy! More awful Finnish melodic death metal with wretched vocals. The ecstasy… It’s overwhelming… 3

Cobal Caldera: Over-arranged Amon Amarth. And that’s saying a lot. 4

Daemonomania: I stopped listening to most melodeath years ago.  So I’ll leave it to someone else to explain why this sounds so cookie-cutter.  Keyboards and cleans?    Gehennah should piss in their fondue.  1

Textures: Phenotypetextures-phenotype

3.2/10

Habakuk: Much modern. 6

Myrkrarfar: I’ll have to cleanse my ears with some “Kronet til konge” after this techprogdjenty feast void of testicles. 3

sincan: Boring is boring. Modern technical something which I can’t name. 5

sly: The texture of this prog/emo/core/bullshit blend is about as appealing to me as a bowl of liver/oysters/lima beans/snail eggs. Yum. Also, how whiny can one douchebag be?! Get the fuck out of here. 0

Cobal Caldera: It’s evident these guys can definitely play… and I can DEFINITELY live without their cory-proggy-whatevery stuff. 4

Daemonomania: Oh great, someone decided to mix Meshuggah with metalcore!  With great clean vocals to boot! Gethefuckouttahere.  1

This month’s Spotify playlist by Cobal Caldera

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