GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – March 2015

Audio Autopsy – March 2015

01/03/15  ||  Global Domination

Marduk: Frontschwein

marduk-frontschwein

8.3/10

Habakuk: An easy win. Not a huge fan of their first war-themed album, but this second one showcases how far they’ve really come. Awesome shit. 9

CadenZ: Like a giant tank, Marduk plow their path through the world, leaving nothing but devastation behind. They found their course early, and haven’t strayed far from it in about twenty years. And we thank them for it. “Frontschwein” feels a bit more organic and direct than its predecessors, which makes the violence even more effective. A discography with no side-steps in quality grows with yet another great addition. All hail. 8

sincan: Marduk, the war machine, is back and again they demolish everything in their way. This album is a bit more straight forward than their previous album,which I enjoy much, called “Serpent sermon”. First the new was hard to digest but it grows and grows, like a panzer on steroids and Lederhosen. 8

Desolate Shrine: The heart of the netherworlddesolate-shrine-the-heart-of-the-netherworld

7.3/10

Habakuk: Ragargagghh! 7

CadenZ: The balance between eerie black atmospheres and crushing riffs is a bit too much on the bleak side, but that’s a minor complaint. Desolate Shrine are one of the best Finnish bands of today, and with this album they cement their place in the highest echelon. Also, is Netherworld a version of Earth where the Netherlands have gained global domination? Sure sounds bleaker than one would think, what with all the tulips and weed… 8

sincan: Pretty decent black metal with good atmosphere. Cold and dark. 7

Archgoat: The apocalyptic triumphatorarchgoat-the-apocalyptic-triumphator

7.0/10

Habakuk: This band is totally worth checking out, but they have had stronger releases. 7

CadenZ: If life coaches would listen to Archgoat, which they should, they would probably give you the following advice: Put on your most fancy suit. Pour a glass of a vintage Merlot. Check the time on your shiny Rolex. It’s time. Open the window. Throw all the fucking sophisticated shit out. Engage your primal instincts. Dig deep down inside, ’til you find that misanthropic, ever-burning flame of hatred against all living things. Enter it. Let yourself be consumed by it. Let it course through your veins. Roar in anger. Now use it. Direct it towards the temples of the false idols, towards the preachers of their feeble soul-sucking lies, towards the mindless cattle they are herding. Rise above them. Enthrone yourself as a god. Reign for aeons. 7

sincan: Murky death virgin corpses, something I take any day over steroid-pumped, dissected and overproduced death. “Nuns, cunts and darkness” deal with it, and you will, in some way. 7

Raised Fist: From the north

raised-fist-from-the-north

6.3/10

Habakuk: Yes, this is a weird vocalist. Still I dig these guys and have done so for a while. They seem to have slowed down a little though? 7

CadenZ: “From the North” garners the exact same verdict as always: RF’s melodic hardcore/metal works surprisingly well despite the vocalist’s annoying raspy hollering. 6

sincan: I really don’t get this band, a Chihuahua on vocals and the loudest snare drum since I don’t even know. But once in a while it all sounds pretty good, and I’m surprised. 6

Marilyn Manson: The pale emperormarilyn-manson-the-pale-emperor

5.7/10

Habakuk: Surprisingly okay. 6

CadenZ: Maybe not an emperor, but a task force leader of a bug eradication crew at least. 5

sincan: Some say that he is back to old standards but I say that’s a lie for those who don’t want to see the truth. It’s decent and slow. 6

Beardfish: +4626-COMFORTZONEbeardfish-4626-comfortzone

5.7/10

Habakuk: Excuse me? 3

CadenZ: These beardfish are clearly in their comfort zone, swimming in the murky prog waters that swirl every which way, but still somehow always find their way home. Variation is to be found aplenty, and the execution is both passionate and technically immaculate. If an originally seasoned stew of Pain of Salvation, Supertramp and a proggy CCR sounds appetizing, do check out the fish with facial hair. 8

sincan: Sometimes this is pretty good old rock’n’roll but sometimes it is a bit too much joy and lounge. 6

Armageddon: Captivity and devourmentarmageddon-captivity-and-devourment

5.7/10

Habakuk: In my head, Armageddon was always a little more destructive, but hey. 6

CadenZ: This resembles Arch Enemy’s output pretty closely, with some plain differences: Armageddon is proggier and has glimpses of more complex stuff, more guitary, and clean vocals. I guess Chris Amott wanted to incorporate these in his former band, but got denied by his lesser-talented tyrant-brother Mike. It’s too bad they couldn’t make a delicious soup with the best of both worlds, as this isn’t as good as AE’s earlier output or Armageddon’s debut “Crossing the Rubicon”, which was co-composed by the brothers. It’s above average, but I was wanting for more. 6

sincan: A little too much easy melodic happiness, but I guess the kids would love it. 5

Battle Beast: Unholy saviorbattle-beast-unholy-savior

5.3/10

Habakuk: I liked their last one because it was retarded. Nothing has changed but the novelty factor. 6

CadenZ: Heavy metal sporting lame verses and über-bombastic choruses with a (good) vocalist who sounds like Eric Adams, despite being of the opposite sex. If they could lose the poppy verses and metal up all the way, I might see myself liking this. And give the fucking lead guitarist a speeding ticket. Sheesh. 5

sincan: Unholy lame. The band name tells you pretty much everything, some might like this pop power war metal thing, but it is… done before. 5

The Crown: Death is not deadthe-crown-death-is-not-dead

5.3/10

Habakuk: I have never, do not and will never understand what’s even remotely interesting, “cult” or good about this band. 4

CadenZ: Passable no-frills death metal with one stand-out track (the Paradise Lost/Amon Amarth-tinged “Eternal”) and a mix that favors guitars and vocals, resulting in weakness. Shame. Also, here’s my Advice of the Month(tm): if you don’t have the right touch (as in touch, not technique), do not fucking attempt to play guitar solos. 5

sincan: But how about thrash? I guess this album is pretty fresch and stuff, but my favorite track is the instrumental “Meduseld” with strings and other cool stuff. 7

Sotajumala: Raunioissasotajumala-raunioissa

5.3/10

Habakuk: If my three words of Finnish serve me right, they are called Pseudogod. Too bad they’re not as good as those guys. 6

CadenZ: Powerful and meaty death metal with presumably no lasting value. 5

sincan: Finnish deathened metalian attack of actually no synths! But this is not my cup of sauna. 5

Sylosis: Dormant heartsylosis-dormant-heart

5.0/10

Habakuk: Someone recommended them to me. He lied. 5

CadenZ: Modern melodeathrash in the style of Dååth, and not too shabby at that. In fact, I can see myself returning to “Dormant Fart” despite the breakdowns, the point of which I’m probably too old to understand, as well as the other metalcoreish elements. The cover is one of this year’s coolest thus far. 6

sincan: I smell trend metal with not that much new. Move along. 4

Angra: Secret gardenangra-secret-garden

4.7/10

Habakuk: Metal for Casio watches. 3

CadenZ: Angra play Fumble Metal. Every time they pick up their balls and go stiff, it only takes a few seconds for them to drop ’em and soften up. Or maybe it should be called Premature Ejaculation Metal? Nah, that involves feelings of euphoria, and that ain’t nowhere to be found. 5

sincan: Well I will give them that they got something going on with their power metal which is not something often in this part of the metal genre world. They manage to include epicness with a low dose of cheesiness. 6

Scanner: The judgementscanner-the-judgement

4.7/10

Habakuk: Was Copier already taken? No wait, that doesn’t make sense. 4

CadenZ: Traditional heavy/speed metal with that nasty edge that’s sadly missing from today’s unicorn-infested power metal. Bang your heads, motherfuckers! 6

sincan: I am in position to judge this and the verdict is: Pretty tired power metal. 4

Malnátt: Swinesongmalnatt-swinesong

3.7/10

Habakuk: The best thing about this was the pig sample from Warcraft II. Yep, it’s the one. 2

CadenZ: I guess this is what happens when you start writing songs sober and then light a doobie or six. First Mall-gnat whip out some cool melodic death/black, then it’s bye-bye reality and into the blue we go. I don’t have the mental strength to list every piece of does-this-even-exist weirdness present here, let me just sum it up with THE TRUTH IS NOT OUT THERE, YOU MORONS. 4

sincan: Sometimes this blackened Italian circus sounds pretty good and sometimes it just is a bit too much “experimental” things going on. 5

Stormwitch: Season of the witch

stormwitch-season-of-the-witch

2.7/10

Habakuk: Wow. I challenge anyone to listen to the first 45 seconds of this album and keep going. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??! 2

CadenZ: When your tired heavy metal sounds more ancient than Gandalf’s ass hairs, it’s time to close shop. 3

sincan: Is this the new fresh power metal album that the world has been waiting for? No, it’s another one making me question the entire genre, again. 3

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