GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – September 2014

Audio Autopsy – September 2014

01/09/14  ||  Global Domination

Martyrdöd: ElddopMartyrdod-Elddop

7.4/10

Habakuk: Again and again it’s surprising how well their melodic crust works, but combining two such different directions makes them hard to mix with other stuff. I have to wanna listen to Martyrdöd and nothing else to even think of putting them on. 7

CadenZ: Refreshing mix of melodic punk/metal and crust. If the vocals will stand the test of time, only repeated listens will reveal. 7

sly: Dark crust punk that’s more than just D-beat rehash. Finally a band in this AA that offers some genuine somber emotion. It’s like a more melodious blackened Disfear, and then some. It’s hard to find truly innovative bands within a genre that usually thrives on mere mimicry. 8

Cobal Caldera: Epic crust is the AA winner of this month, I guess. Punk-oriented moments meet elegant Scandinavian melodies. Pretty unexpected! 8

sincan: Sometimes you just need some cleansing, especially after listening to some of the shit in this AA. Martyrdöd does the job fine. 7

Over Kill: White devil armoryover-kill-white-devil-armory

6.0/10

Habakuk: It ain’t over. 7

CadenZ: There’s a limit for how many uninventive and boring thrash albums I’m able to consume per month. This time one was enough. 4

sly: Did you like “Iron Bound”? Or “The Electric Age”? If you’ve answered yes to either of these, then I’m sure you’ll like “White Devil Armory”. 7

Cobal Caldera: Much better than other late attempts of them. Good energetic riffs, well-written and somewhat varied songs and a more than decent mix make this a good surprise. Still I wonder: What’s the value of this kind of release these days? 7

sincan: Decent old man’s thrash, but the vocals are a bit annoying. 5

Wolves In The Throne Room: CelestiteWolves-In-The-Throne-Room-Celestite

5.8/10

Habakuk: I think I heard about two guitar parts. Anti-metal is the new metal. Or what? 7

CadenZ: The truth is out there. 7

sly: I was never a fan of their cascadian black metal but this one took me by surprise. WITTR have made the best turn of their career so far by going ambient and drawing inspiration from Klaus Schultz and Tangerine Dream. 8

Cobal Caldera: Switching from black metal to dark ambient is nothing but natural for some bands. Not the case. 4

sincan: Well, I guess that more than one person will get a bit surprised when listening to the new WITTR album, me however had read some information about it and before I heard any music from it I was a bit, worried? Well, to be fair (and I’m a big WITTR fan) what the hell should one inject in the eyes to enjoy this? Hardly working as background noise. 3

Mayhem: Esoteric warfaremayhem-esoteric-warfare

5.8/10

Habakuk: Does “Mayhem” rhyme with “trainwreck”? No? Oh. 3

CadenZ: I’m glad they at least removed the epithet “The True” from their logo. I’m still trying to come to terms with the method they went with for this album: they hired a young gun to write the new album, discarded the first draft as being too close to the “De Mysteriis…” sound, and chose this pile of turds instead? Pathetic. 3

sly: They’ve always been ahead of the genre they basically created, yet they’re often decried by black metal “fans” who know deep down that they could never truly be as debauched and nefarious as Mayhem. Luckily Mayhem never gave a fuck and with “Esoteric Warfare” they push their music into pitch-black, uncharted territory and remind the world that they’re still a force to be reckoned with. 9

Cobal Caldera: I’ve been into Norwegian black metal for years and of-fucken-course I’m very familiar with this legend. Having such an inconsistent career path — so to speak, makes any new release a must-listen, though it’s hard to have clear expectations. I suppose Mayhem had that working for them. 7

sincan: Well, this is more straightforward (yet detailed and a is lot going on) than their previous album. Pretty good, but not perfect. 7

Demonic Resurrection: The demon kingDemonic-Resurrection-The-Demon-King

5.4/10

Habakuk: What the fuck’s up with that cover? If I wanna listen to a shitty video game, rest assured you’ll be the first to learn, Demonic Erection. 5

CadenZ: Schizo album is schizo. A little bit of brutal death, a little bit of Cradle of Filth-ian synths, a little bit of Borknagar vocals…no, I can’t wrap my head around this. 5

sly: A knock-off Dimmu Borgir with lots more growling and way too much keyboard. I mean, it’s not godawful what they’re doing, but let’s face it: if they were from Bergen instead of Mumbai, no one would give a shit. 4

Cobal Caldera: Don’t let this band’s name mislead you: Rather complex blackened death metal is actually good. Lots of details await. 7

sincan: I was expecting shit, but this was not. Symphonic deathened blackened proggened. 6

Empyrium: The turn of the tidesEmpyrium-The-Turn-Of-The-Tides

5.2/10

Habakuk: So artsy. Sustained keyboard notes. Get the fuck out. 4

CadenZ: A folkier Summoning makes for a great soundtrack for foggy autumn mornings. A bit too repetitive for its own good, though. 6

sly: This is a snippet from an actual interview with Ulf Theodor Schwadorf of Empyrium: “I weep in the forest, I weep in castles, I weep in my bedroom. Because I wish I were a real romantic instead of just a pretentious twat”. 2

Cobal Caldera: This record was lucky: I was really in need of some relaxing music when I plunged into it. Now, I liked it, but I don’t know if being relaxing is good credentials here. 6

sincan: Empyrium is one of those bands which I have on my “to listen to” list and thanks to this AA I was forced to get my shit together. I’m satisfied, even though the album gets a bit repetitive towards the end. The second track, “Dead winter ways”, is just pure gold. But don’t expect heavy ass metal here, this one is a brutal crossover though. 8

King Of Asgard: Kargking-of-asgard-karg

5.2/10

Habakuk: Are people still interested in Viking themed metal? 5

CadenZ: Stompy Amon Amarth-worship leaves boner unrisen. With riffs this mediocre and simple, you need better arrangements with more depth and layers to cut it. 4

sly: King of Assgard: the Simon and Kargfunkel of Viking metal. 4

Cobal Caldera: I was pretty dubious after searching the background of these Swedes. I mean, Viking metal doesn’t exactly have lots of credibility these days. Truth be told and notwithstanding the fact that you’ll actually get to listen to everything that the term Viking metal evokes, most songs here get to have real momentum at some point. 6

sincan: It’s hard not to mention Amon Amarth when describing this album, but this one is a bit darker and more death is added into the mixture, and the drunken sing-along choruses are not present. 7

Mastodon: Once more ’round the sunmastodon-once-more-round-the-sun

5.0/10

Habakuk: They had lost me for a while I gotta admit, but this doesn’t sound half bad. As always with the Don, I suspect a grower. 7

CadenZ: More multi-layered than previous efforts, this album might just be my doorway into Mastodon. 6

sly: The first 50 seconds are fairly interesting, and the rest of the album is all down hill from there. But I have to credit their cleverness in giving us not only wonderfully mediocre riffs but three subpar singers; you don’t get that with every band. At least one of them sounds a bit like Gene Simmons. 4

Cobal Caldera: Almost everything that made me dig “The hunter” is lost now. Fuck radio-friendly metal. 3

sincan: This album is so fucking hyped, and is by many told to be way better than their previous album “The Cunter”. The only problem is, this album is a fucking huge disappointment consisting of easy-listened junk without any hooks or other shit. It’s like the B-tracks from “The Cunter”, edited by a pop artist. 5

Burden Of Grief: Unchainedburden-of-grief-unchained

4.0/10

Habakuk: Burger of dnief. Nice cover art. 5

CadenZ: A burden of grief is to listen to this slab of mediocrity disguised as a melodeath record. 4

sly: Here’s what I found on Metal Archives about Burden of Grief.
Place of origin: Boreburg, North Whine-Cockphalia, Germany.
Genre: Extremely Boring Melodic Death Metal.
Lyrical themes: Boredom, Girly men problems, Schnitzel, Sorrow.
Current label: Heard-a-Million-Times-Before Records.
Score: 2

Cobal Caldera: Pretty sure I’ve listened to this more than bearable ‘death’ metal before. After being around for nearly two decades, I would expect something more…impressive. 5

sincan: Burden of Generic. 4

Yes: Heaven & earthyes-heaven-and-earth

3.8/10

Habakuk: Good God. No! 2

CadenZ: For about ten minutes, this 80s prog pop is OK. Then the sugar sweetness starts to turn to bile in yer mouth. 4

sly: No, I don’t think so. 3

Cobal Caldera: Me, I’ve got soft spot for classic progressive rock. However, there’s no reason to listen to this unless you’ve got a thing for music of the likes of Pink Floyd, Camel and King Crimson. 6

sincan: No, this is too cute for me. 4

Ted Nugent: Shutup&jam!ted-nugent-shut-up-and-jam

3.2/10

Habakuk: I don’t like the Nuge, but I like some of his music. This new shit, not so much, but it ain’t off the charts terrible either. 5

CadenZ: Sounds like Dave Mustaine finally started to act his age and started to play ‘Murican boogie rock with the flavour palette of a week-year-old twice used teabag. 3

sly: I love/hate this guy but he’s still a fucken fantastic guitarist who outshreds most wanna-be-retro bands. This album has some reasonably decent songs like “She’s Gone” (feat. Sammy Hagar) and some downright ridiculous ones like “I Love My BBQ”. But then stupidity has always been part of his schtick. 5

Cobal Caldera: New site, new rules, uh guys? This is such a desperate attempt to get any kind of attention that’s just depressing. Shut up and DON’T you ever dare jamming ever again for fuck’s sake. 0

sincan: Just shut up would be better. 3

Night Ranger: High roadnight-ranger-high-road

3.2/10

Habakuk: Gahhh. 3

CadenZ: Worse than you could imagine. 2

sly: Some ’80s bands make their comeback and I’m disappointed (Motley Crue anyone?). Night Ranger makes their comeback and I don’t give a fuck cuz they sucked then and they suck even more now. 3

Cobal Caldera: Am I supposed to know who these people are? I mean they sound so self-confident that I almost overlooked the nearly rip-off themes. I have nothing against hard rock — nothing at all, but power ballads and happy tunes are not my thing these days. 5

sincan: When I started to listen to this, I was shocked because I had to run and turn down my speakers in case my neighbors could hear. Why? Well, this is pure life joy metal. In some tracks I heard fragments of AC/DC and KISS, just fragments! 3

Ill Niño: Till death, la familiaill-nino-till-death-la-familia

2.6/10

Habakuk: Fuck this. 3

CadenZ: When the stars align, Ill Niño will arise, play the Brown Note, repeatedly, and that will be the end of the world as we know it. They already did? FML. 2

sly: Stoopid North American shit metal with cliché lyrics for unadventurous morons. Death to mall metal. 1

Cobal Caldera: So I guess if nu metal is your thing… Shame that it’s so fucking repetitive. 5

sincan: If you like generic modern metalcore with horrible corny vocals, go for this. 2

Fozzy: Do you wanna start a warfozzy-do-you-wanna-start-a-war

2.2/10

Habakuk: Is this asking for a “yes I want to start a war” joke? Certainly not alongside Fozzy. 4

CadenZ: I heard auto-tuning. I moved on. So should you. 2

sly: The moment I saw Chris Jericho walk out wearing his stupid fairy lights jacket and his dumb face, I knew this couldn’t be good. When I later found out that he had a band, I imagined it to be something with douchey riffs and lousy teenage lyrics and it turned out I was right. But what can we really expect from a guy who calls himself Y2J? Because personally I can’t think of a lamer nickname for a wrestler. 2

Cobal Caldera: We should start a fucken war against American radio “metal” bands with shameful monikers! Is there any possibility of making this any worse? I don’t think so. 1

sincan: No, I rather just turn this in the trashcan. 2

Sonic Syndicate: Sonic syndicatesonic-syndicate-sonic-syndicate

2.0/10

Habakuk: Apparently these guys get into AA even if K is no longer interested. Curious. Curious and bad. 4

CadenZ: The reason the world hates the initials “SS” has nothing to do with Nazis. 1

sly: Stoopid Swedish shit metal with cliché lyrics for unadventurous morons. Death to Ikea metal. 1

Cobal Caldera: Regardless how hot the girl is supposed to be, few things grind my gears as much as this bunch of pansies. Fucken die. 1

sincan: Sonic Syndicate is as metal as a kid’s training wheels. 3

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