When the Italian symphonic death metal horde released “Agony“ in 2011, I was more than satisfied – but “Labyrinth“
blew me the fuck away. Between the attention to detail in their
cinematic soundscaping and their brutal disregard for the speed limit in
their brilliantly-executed rampages, Fleshgod Apocalypse have claimed
the title this year. “Labyrinth“ is about as close to perfection as I’ve heard in a long time.
Suck your own dick to the tune of Minotaur!
The decision to name Fleshgod’s latest as the best of the best
wasn’t even close to being easy when avant-garde death metallers The
Monolith Deathcult released their third full-length opus. Ranging from
wonderfully-melodic to spine-crushingly violent, “Tetragrammaton“
is a brilliantly-executed death metal album with influences from all
walks of life, and truly sets the stage for what the men from the
Netherlands will accomplish in the future.
Become a Transformer while listening to Gods Among Insects.
When an outfit describes themselves as the best death metal band in
all of existence, tell them to listen to Torture Division. Hailing from
Sweden and lead by K. Philipson himself, this supreme three-piece has
yet to disappoint a single soul. Whether this is because their demos
annihilate all who listen or not remains a mystery…
Find out who you ought to really be worshiping within the melody of I Wanna Beat Somebody.
Iwein Denayer, working under the moniker Humanity Defiled, released his solo project’s debut full-length “Circling the Drain“
earlier this year. Guess what? It rocks your dick up your ass and
lights it on fire. My personal favourite is the lengthy, doomy track
“Exit?”; whereas most tracks of its nature would put me to sleep,
Denayer’s work somehow captivates the most vacant, empty, solitary
feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. If that doesn’t deserve a
spot here, I don’t know what does.
Light your bowels ablaze and dance with a transvestite with Humanity Defiled.
With a strong thrash influence, British progressive death metal
outfit Arceye have executed a stunning display of musical talent with
their debut full-length, “At First Light“. The boys from
Britain did everything in their power to demolish my eardrums with their
blistering speeds and their pounding drums – enough to score them a
spot on my best of list. That takes skill, gentlemen.
Fuck your mother and get back to your computer to witness Brother Disarmed.
A supreme death metal record for sure, but not addictive enough
to kick any of the other supreme records off the list. Still, don’t
fuckin’ miss these Ukranians – they’ve got what it takes to make you
bleed and jizz, all at the same time. Trust me – I know from experience.
Between the heavy metal vocals with an uncannily raw edge and
the fast-paced riffing that’ll leave you breathless, German power
metalheads Circle of Silence delivered an incredible listening
experience with their fourth full-length. I wasn’t lying when I said it
was one of the best releases of the year – it just wasn’t up to par with
all the other ones above.
I knew this record would make this list in one way or another.
Forlorn Path is a black/death/doom metal outfit from good ol’ New
Jersey, and they sure as shit know how to make good music. Their debut
full-length is what got them to this extremely prestigious list that is
simultaneously filled with penis jokes and threats of arson, so you know
they mean business.
While treading more on the side of hardcore than metal, American
thrashy metalcore outfit All Pigs Must Die made waves with their second
full-length. The boys from Boston know how to give you the best
headache in your life with this short but not-so-sweet release, and it
also made for one hell of an introduction to the genre. Give it a
listen, for sure.
I’m a personal fan of Matt Harvey’s work, and Exhumed’s recent
excursion into all things disgusting was better than it had any right to
be. Rocketing towards their ultimate goal of a goretopia, the death
metal grinders ought to be proud of what they’ve wrought.
Glen Benton and co. are back, but despite their tumultuous
musical history, Deicide’s eleventh full-length release is less than
incredible. Still, it holds some of the finest moments of this year’s
modern death metal, so be sure to check out some of the tracks on the
album – it’ll make you happy, if nothing else.
Carcass: Surgical Steel
When an album has a lot of hype, you generally have two natural
responses: believe the hype, or wait until you actually have the record
in your hand. I did neither, largely ignoring all press regarding
Carcass’ latest effort until I decided to take a listen to it on release
day – and after all that, this is what you guys chose to put out into the world? WHY?
Utilising hyperbole is one thing – I do that quite a bit in my
own reviews – but calling your latest album’s tracks “ten of the most
demanding songs written in death metal” is a statement that needs to be backed up. With evidence. It only took about five seconds for my bullshit detector to go off.
Deeds of Flesh: Portals to Canaan
Once upon a time, Deeds of Flesh was a well-respected brutal death metal band from the USA.
Fast forward the present day and they’re making music just as
commonplace as a pigeon shitting on a single mother at a train station.
While it’s not necessarily a bad record, Portals to Canaan would have
been much better if I could have distinguished it from the rank and
file. Unfortunately, I can’t.
Suffocation: Pinnacle of Bedlam
With music that’s just as tired as the title of the record,
Suffocation have delivered one of the most stale albums in the genre,
riding on little more than the power of their logo and the ‘old-school’
marketing pitch. Though the guitarwork has some high moments, the vast
majority of this ‘prestigious’ record is little more than boring.
Kalmah: Seventh Swamphony
This is 2013. What the fuck are you idiots doing still making music?
Yes, I know, Gigan released a record this year. Guess what?
Azure Emote outdid them in every way conceivable, making the most
preposterously-pretentious progenitor of Pr0nogo’s platitude of
permanent pigfuckers. Fuck you, Azure Emote, and fuck everyone like you.
Fuck you too, Gigan, just for good measure.
Suck a cock inside an atomic bomb while your legs are split open by
Satan’s personal strippers and your anus is spread wide by a flaming
acidic sixteen-inch strap-on coated in goat semen before you listen here.