Audio Autopsy – April 2012

Audio Autopsy – April 2012

01/04/12  ||  Global Domination

Napalm Death: Utilitarian

7.6/10

Lord K: One of the most consistent bands in the
world. I fucken love Napalm Death and their trademark sound that you’ll
recognize in a second. 8

Habakuk: Modern-day Napalm Death at its best. This
time around, it sounds at least kind of “alive”, yet still overproduced.
The music alone is catchy, no-holds-barred deathgrind madness, killer
riffage included by the dozen. 8

CadenZ: There’s something about this record that I
haven’t experienced with earlier ND offerings, but I can’t pinpoint what
it is. Maybe the diversity of the material makes all the different
parts pop out better. I dunno. But I like it. A fucken lot. 8

Smalley: Well-done, energetic modern grindcore, but
with this level of sustained intensity kept up for 16 tracks, it does
get somewhat tiresome. Then again, I’m kinda biased against grind in
general. Still solid, though, ‘specially for a 31 year-old band. 7

BamaHammer: Yep. It’s a Napalm Death record. If you’ve heard one, you’ve heard all 173. 6

Psycroptic: The inherited repression

7/10

Lord K: I was expecting über-technical, un-groovy
death metal and got myself some Decapitated-like, half-groovy death
metal. I take a bow and will check out more shit from these guys. 7

Habakuk: Wow, seems like I haven’t followed these
people at all since “Sceptre” – they’ve changed the vocals ages ago, and
now they sound a lot like a catchy, groovier version of Decapitated.
Digging this a lot. 8

CadenZ: Nice memento of Chuck’s legacy, albeit with
a nastier edge of brutality. The first few tracks held a really high
quality that sadly didn’t last the whole album. Still, very nice;
Psycroptic belong to the top 10 of the tech death pack. 7

Smalley: Tried listening to this earlier to review
it (as well as in the hopes I’d like it), but their sound is just too
blandly weedle-weedle-weedle tech death, and the actual songwriting
didn’t hook me either. 5

BamaHammer: This is actually far more catchy and enjoyable than any of their other stuff and possibly their best effort to date. 8

Goatwhore: Blood for the master

6.8/10

Lord K: With one of the best monikers in the world,
Goatwhore’s black/death/etc pummels its way thru my speakers, putting a
smile on my face. Not absolutely astonishing, but there’s no way you
can miss out on the charm, the intensity and the energy. 7

Habakuk: No idea why this is the first time I’m
hearing these folks, but you get what you pay for (or don’t) here:
whores & goats & crust & black/death. Fock yeah! 8

CadenZ: Even though “BFTM” doesn’t reach the heights its predecessors did, it is still an enjoyable slab of groovy, evil and semi-epic bile. 7

Smalley: The intensity’s there plenty, but the hooks/personality really aren’t. Production could’ve used less polish, too. 6

BamaHammer: I don’t guess I’ll ever understand the
delirium over this band. They’re competent blackened death metal, for
sure, but I guess I was expecting more. 6

Mustasch: Sounds like hell, looks like heaven

6.6/10

Lord K: Never cared much for Mustasch, but they pull off their hardrock undeniably well. 6

Habakuk: Mustasch always have a few good tracks and
lots of not so good ones. This time, they don’t have any subpar stuff,
but also nothing really good. Hmmm! 6

CadenZ: What?! Queen-esque vocal harmonies? Eerie
melodies over hippie chord progressions? Semi-growls and screams?
Right-out pop arrangements? Mustasch suddenly decided to up the ante and
bring in some depth and variation to their diesel-induced grit rock?
Well, fuck me sideways with Gail Devers’ fingernails, this is really fucken good. 8

Smalley: Despite their relative fame, based off of
descriptions of their sound, I was never interested before now in
checking out any Mustasch, and listening to this just confirms my
suspicions. No balls whatsoever. 5

BamaHammer: Haha. “Mustasch”. Uh, wait a second. I like this. I really, really like this. I have no idea what’s happened. 8

Orange Goblin: A eulogy for the damned

6.4/10

Lord K: Stoner ain’t giving me a boner. ZING! Yes? No? I knew it. 5

Habakuk: Heavy, stonery, awesome. Have these guys ever sounded this good? Don’t think so! 9

CadenZ: Stone me, bitch. 7

Smalley: A step up from CoC, with more energy, but I’m still just sleeping until High On Fire in April (the 3rd!!!). 6

BamaHammer: It’s not 1995 anymore, and you’re not from Seattle. Otherwise it’s decent. 5

Terrorizer: Hordes of zombies

5.4/10

Lord K: After seeing Pete Sandoval’s absolute massacre of Mozart,
I can’t listen to anything with him on it and take it very seriously.
You know what? This is not Terrorizer, this is a generic death metal
band using the Terrorizer name for attention. This is Terrorizer. 5

Habakuk: Sort of intense, full-speed death metal, but it has nothing of what made Terrorizer special in the first place. 6

CadenZ: Monotone growls, monotone riffing and moderately enjoyable drumming make for a moderately monotone album. I’ve heard better. 5

Smalley: A few scattered good moments here are
buried underneath cookie-cutter Cookie Monster growls, songwriting, and
production; again, they should’ve just left it at “World downfall”. 6

BamaHammer: Hey, at least it’s better than the last Morbid Angel album. 5

Corrosion Of Conformity: Corrosion of conformity

5.2/10

Lord K: These guys are still around, huh? “Blind” was ok back in the day, but to say COC’s a relevant band today is taking things a bit too far. 3

Habakuk: Surprisingly punky for the stage in their
career they’re in, and high quality at that – but alas, this month’s
Stoner crown has been taken. 7

CadenZ: CoC still sound as if they have their
teenage frenzy and aggression intact, and manage to sound groovy and
in-your-face even without Keenan. 6

Smalley: Mostly lifeless, lacking-in-grit
production, hookless songwriting, and somewhat obnoxious vox; just wake
me up when the new High On Fire is out (April 3rd!!!). 5

BamaHammer: “Albatross” was a cool song back in the
day. Sludge isn’t really my joie de vivre these days though. Hard to
like a band people call COC anyway. 5

Xandria: Neverworld’s end

4.6/10

Lord K: I could very well be liking this quite a
bit, but I rather spin any shit from Nightwish instead since it’s way
better on all accounts. 4

Habakuk: Fuck opera and fuck metal for letting
fucken opera chicks in. Note: if there are more “fuck“s in your entry
than you have points, it’s okay to break the fuck up. 3

CadenZ: Yeah… Er… Nightwish already did this. For
like six centuries. If you have nothing new to bring to the table, and
your songwriting is hella dull… Y U NO STOP?! 3

Smalley: Symphonic, “gothic”, chick-metal? Hmm… but
actually, this one is more compelling than most. Their chick can really
sing, and there are a few moments with some unexpected balls. If I was
more into this stuff, or even just less burnt out on it from other AAs, I
might’ve found this decent. If you like this kind of shit, go for it. 6

BamaHammer: These guys look like every chick-fronted gothic metal stereotype ever conceived, but this is pretty good stuff at times. 7

Opera IX: Strix – maledictae in aeternum

4/10

Lord K: Incredibly poorly produced, fantastically
poorly arranged and amazingly poorly executed. This is so fucken
hysterically bad on all accounts I have to applaud them. Of course they are Italian. At least they make up for the musical atrocity with their astonishing looks. 1

Habakuk: Pretentious as Hell of course, but if you are looking for a heavy, orchestral black metal Dimmu clone, this might be for you. 6

CadenZ: Symphonic black metal, questionable on the
“black” part. Boring vocals, questionable synth arrangements and boring
questionable riffs make for a questionable, yet boring, listen. Fucken
fascinating. Also, consider this: the production is HIGHLY questionable. Whew. Chew on that, bitch. 4

Smalley: Pretty pale, confused, and neutered imitation of Limbonic Art here, IMHO. But what do I know? 5

BamaHammer: Overly orchestrated and synthesized death metal that’s ultimately pretty boring. I think I’ll pass on the other VIII too. 4

Caliban: I am nemesis

3.4/10

Lord K: A perfect example of the kind of modern
metal that I absolutely despise and that will eventually help kill the
whole scene. Every time I hear music like this I throw up a little. For
your information – I just fucken threw up a little. 3

Habakuk: Caliban play metalc… Ah fuck it – in Wing Commander III news, I recently visited the Caliban system. You pathetic descendants of monkeys! 4

CadenZ: Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? What is the point of playing metalcore/deathcore/AlGore? Fuck this shit. 2

Smalley: Very first words of this record, done with
a stupid echo effect and in a cliched “movie dialogue sample” style:
“You gotta be fucken kiddin’ me!”. Funny, I was about to say the same
thing… sans the echo effect. Stay away from covering At The Gates in the
future too, plz. 4

BamaHammer: This kiBREAKDOWNnd of stBREAKDOWNuff has never been vBREAKDOWNery compTOUGHGUYGROWLatible with me… BREAKDOWN. 4

Van Halen: A different kind of truth

3.4/10

Lord K: Elderly music for elderly folks. I’m not that old yet. 2

Habakuk: If you know more than three people that are waiting for a Van Halen release, you should probably kill yourself. 4

CadenZ: What the fuck is this supposed to be? The
drums sound like an army of empty crates, Roth sounds old as fuck,
Eddie’s trying to replicate his yesteryear virtues with not much
success… A different kind of truth? If that is another way of spelling
“has-beens”, I’m with you. Move to Florida and buy a beach house (or
eight), but don’t release more music, morons. 3

Smalley: Can you say, “legacy embarrassment”? Yes, I think you can. 4

BamaHammer: Truth: nobody wants to listen to old, horny dudes play rock music… with their kid. 4

Freedom Call: Land of the crimson dawn

2.8/10

Lord K: If Caliban and their likes make me throw up
a little, Freedom Call just unleashed the fucken Avalanche Of Vomit. I
think I am about to explode here. 2

Habakuk: In a just world, this entry marks the bottom of the list. Done my share. Your call, GD. 1

CadenZ: German power metal should have ended where
it took off: Helloween’s “Keeper of the Seven Keys”. Both parts.
Everything since, with tragically few exceptions, has been either shit
or like this platter: meh. 4

Smalley: Have I ever heard a more safe, bland example of power metal…? No, I have not. 4

BamaHammer: The only thing Freedom Call was ever
good for was giving Sascha Gerstner to Helloween. German power metallers
with a song called “Rockstars”. This one takes the cake. Or should I
say cheese. Kill me. Then kill them. 3