Audio Autopsy – September 2010

Audio Autopsy – September 2010

01/09/10  ||  Global Domination

Severe Torture: Slaughtered Severe Torture: Slaughtered


Lord K: Severe Torture takes a look at the
competition in this AA, smiles and fires away their formula with ease.
Blasting’n‘grooving death metal always works for me. 7

The Duff: This band’s last album was praised
left-right and center, but it passed without attention my side – this is
absolutely killer death metal; I would heartily recommend it to fans of
Insision awaiting their next Swedopeople playing American death dose
right down to the tone. Throw in some doom influences and a darker take
to songwriting too, and expect a vocalist who would find his match with
the deadly Carl Birath as much more processed he sounds. 8

Trauma: It’s not bad but it’s also not doing anything for me. 6


“Stench of death

bodies rot in the sun

in Springtime.” 8

ZIV (guest): Basic old
school Dutch death metal as adventurous as a steak and potato meal. More
audacity in the vocal department could take this band out of the dull
zone. Still, this tickles somewhat me fancy like a grilled cheese
sandwich at Denny’s after a night of drinking too much Heineken. 6

Interment: Into the crypts of blasphemy Interment: Into the crypts of blasphemy


Lord K: I was around when Interment originally
formed, that’s how old I am. They did some real good recordings back
then. And now they are back for reasons we don’t know. It sure sounds
old-school, under-produced and… death metal. But to catch my attention
you really have to step up a few notches. It’s not enough just to sound
old-school. Old Entombed and Dismember fans will jack off to this
though. 5

The Duff: Well, I’m sure Entombed worship is a sure-fire way to tickle the balls of GD staff-members; I like
the classic Swedish outfit, but I’m not apeshit over them like many
here, “Clandestine” far in my esteem the best death metal record ever
and “Left Hand Path” absolutely killer but not worshiped – thankfully,
“Into the Crypts of Blasphemy” sides with the sound of the latter, and
I’m finding tonnes to dig about it. This isn’t Bloodbath Swedodeath
worship, all lacquered and a vocalist as clean and schooled as he is
Timotei-beautiful; no, shit-ugly, rumbling production and a rumbling,
probably shit-ugly vocalist is what you get with that highly-idolised
buzzsaw tone. 7

Trauma: This is actually quite good and if you’re
into that classic Swedish sound you’ve got it here in spades and spikes
and bullet-belts. They could back off the reverb on the vocals a tad,
but I nevertheless approve of this message. 8


“As uncreative

as kicking a dead horse

yet as fun.” 6

ZIV (guest): I have the
demo reissues of these guys and I’ll probably keep listening to those.
This album continues where they left off and is (surprisingly) firmly
stuck in the early 90’s Swedish DM sound. Most of the stuff is decent
but there are some seriously shitty riffs sprinkled here and there that
ruin the momentum. Still compared the other stuff I had to hear for this
month’s AA, average death metal (with no emo vocals) is starting to
sound good. 6

Decrepit Birth: Polarity Decrepit Birth: Polarity


Lord K: Join me into Trigger Country. Here you will
find technical riffs and chaos. None of it will impress you since you
heard it a million of times before and this shit is becoming very
predictable and boring. No, there are no refunds. 5

The Duff: I’ve tried liking this after being
entertained a fair bit by “Diminishing Between Worlds”, but in the end
I’m bored shitless. Will save the rest of my words for the review, which
will be slightly more forgiving. 3

Trauma: It sounds like something I should bow down
to and praise, but I won’t because in the end this album does nothing
that makes me wanna go to town on the yogurt-slinger. 5


“Cut down a bit

on flair and triggers

I am yours.” 7

ZIV (guest): Blistering
techy death metal with cool guitar harmonics and interesting melodies.
It’s rare these days to hear a band actually take time to compose and
try to develop their own style, atmosphere, and identity. This reminds
me of Atheist, Nocturnus, and early Atrocity. Slightly too polished for
my taste, but that’s a really minor complaint. 8

Blind Illusion: Demon master Blind Illusion: Demon master


Lord K: Blind Illusion are supposed to be somewhat
“classic”. Why? I have no idea. They were always shit and this album is
another proof that some bands really do not know when to hang it up.
This bluesy, absolute non-metal shit is disgusting. Take fellow
AA-participants 36 Crazyfists and Avenged Sevenfold with you on a road
trip into the Nevada Desert and shoot yourselves. 2

The Duff: Really digging this, it’s surprising just
how awesome the music is despite the mainman’s time departed from the
game; that said, none of it is fresh – killer tunes though, I can’t
deny. 8

Trauma: I don’t know what the fuck made them think that 2010 was the year to make a return to this kind of dated prog. 4


“Ye olden fuzz

thy soul still lives but

you sound hoarse.” 6

ZIV (guest): Clutch Lite
complete with idiotic pseudo-satanic/hillbilly lyrics. A few cool guitar
licks give this band a minuscule amount of potential. 5

Korn: Remember who you are Korn: Remember who you are


Lord K: I remember who I am. A also remember how
awesome Korn were when they came out. That was a while ago but at least
this album is a step in the right direction considering how fucken
terrible some of their latest stuff have been. 6

The Duff: The album opens up much like Cephalic
Carnage’s “Ontogeny of Behavior”, at times going on to sound like Devin
Townsend – to call me surprised would be an understatement. Alright, my
borderline perverted embellishments aside, I used to like Korn back when
I was much younger; I haven’t a clue if this is a return to their old
sound, but I’m enjoying this new record. I’m nowhere near a converted,
but Korn sound like one of the better nu-metal bands I’ve been spurning
for goodness knows how long. 6

Trauma: Here’s one of only two highlights of this
entire AA. Korn are back and they have definitely gotten back into the
groove of things, pun intended if not understood. I’m not ashamed for
liking these guys and I can say that this might be better than
their first two albums, but certainly not their best album to date. Two
enormously catchy tunes in “Fear is a place to live” and “Let the guilt
go”, and from there you’ve got your decent songs mixed with a few
exceptional stinkers. 7


“Pure shit

is hard to find

maybe next time.” 4

ZIV (guest): Get your
trainers ready, the kings of mall metal are back! Jon Davis still sounds
like a whining epileptic crying about having been grounded the day of
the Bay City Rollers gig. The riffs still sound alike – but wait –
what’s this? A shy venture to the fourth fret? Fieldy still thinks his
crappy bass tone can cover up his lack of talent. And the drummer’s
skills are out of place. He should join a decent band – which Korn never
was. 2

Soilwork: The panic broadcast Soilwork: The panic broadcast


Lord K: I have given up on Soilwork. I don’t like
any of their albums except for “Stabbing the drama”. It’s not that they
are bad, nope, but the standard they set with “Stabbing” they simply
haven’t been able to match since. Great production though. 6

The Duff: On par with the last several records,
probably better than “Stabbing the Drama” which K will mistakenly
accredit “the tits” when in fact most appropriate would be the worst
metal album in recent times; “Natural Born Chaos” remains the band’s
final quality achievement, “A Predator’s Portrait” its final outstanding
one – some good material, but the band is off doing their own thing far
away from my tastes. 5

Trauma: I don’t hear anything to warrant the praise
this band gets. Wait, are they praised? This doesn’t sound like
anything new to me, and I don’t see myself liking it any time soon. 5


“Great solos

cannot diamonds make

out of plastic.” 5

ZIV (guest): These guys
had me fooled for a moment. The first song actually sounded good!
Luckily the sappy crappy vocals kicked in during the second track and
put Soilwork back to its rightful place as another awful nü melodic
swedo death metal band. Very frustrating. The playing is tight and songs
5 and 6 are cool. But is all metal becoming emo? 3

The Acacia Strain: Wormwood The Acacia Strain: Wormwood


Lord K: Not bad at all. The Meshuggah influences
(guitars) work with their half-death metalcore thang. I’ll look into
their discography a bit more even. 7

The Duff: A surprise of the month, a heavy metal
band that is accessible yet foreboding at the same time – nothing I’ll
repeat spin, but I thought they’d be regular metalcore trash, turns out
they’re a competent band that sounds quite original and packing punch.
Looks like I didn’t dig this October 2008, so who knows what’s happening
to my embittered sensibilities… 6

Trauma: Wow. Sounds like metalcore. Sounds like ass. 2


“Yo dawg

put a sock in it

and suck.” 3

ZIV (guest): Pretentious
name drawn from hat? Check. Sleeve tattoos and gauged ears? Check.
Hatebreed style chugga chuggas? Check. Annoying fat dude vocals ruining
potentially cool riffs? Check. Another forgettable core band? Check. 5

Accu§er: Agitation Accu§er: Agitation


Lord K: Accu§er once released an album called Who dominates who?”. Not only did it have a fantastic cover,
it was fucken jam-packed with amazing thrash metal. Not so much now,
thank you. Go get “Who dominates who?” and forget they ever did any
albums before or after that, ok? 3

The Duff: Thrash meets melodic, some great soloing,
standard riffing with Sepultura-lite vocals, the buoyancy of Exodus
with the energy of Slayer. 6

Trauma: Mediocre thrash rehash with added modern sound. 5


“With long years

comes great wisdom or

dullness of mind.” 5

ZIV (guest): I had an old
Accuser CD with a few good songs that I spun a couple of times. This
one has no good songs – mediocre at best. Remember how Sepultura sounded
when Max left? This is Accuser’s exercise-on-style on that period, plus
crappy vocals. 4

Hellyeah: Stampede Hellyeah: Stampede


Lord K: The cover is real cool. All Texan and shit.
I was never impressed with this band in the past but “Stampede” isn’t
crap. Rockish metal that is easy to digest. It works, and that’s that. 6

The Duff: I’ve hated Hellyeah from their inception,
having been disappointed with Damage Plan and figuring the Abbott
brothers then and onward permanently on short supply of creative juice –
surprised this isn’t as bad as what I remember from the debut, but
aggro-2-riff/song metal is half-assed at best no matter how many
stops/starts, half-time signatures or 12-fret note-drop approaches you
adopt – these have always been recipes for lazy tunes unless you’re a
death metal band or Slayer, so shine towards it I doubt I ever will
being truer than a bag of rusty nails – pretty funny that “Better Man”
sounds like Testament’s worst, though. 3

Trauma: Hellno. Vinnie Paul is the only reason I give a: 3


“Out of Texas

this bull strikes full

of dull bull.” 4

ZIV (guest): Fire up the BBQ,
bring out the Jäg, raise the U.S. and Confederate flags and let’s dip
our dicks in spicy wing sauce so we can all have us a Southern-style
suck-off! Blue-collar, 9-5 metal with plenty o’country that’s as
indigestible as the greasy meat poos you get partying with these guys.
Sounds like Pantera without the pizazz and Kid Rock sans le rap. 3

In This Moment: A star-crossed wasteland In This Moment: A star-crossed wasteland


Lord K: If I wanna hear a “harder” chick-fronted
metal band I listen to the amazing The Agonist. In This Moment kinda
fucken just don’t cut it. What saves them from slaughter is the clean
vocals from the cunt. They are ok at least. 4

The Duff: Terrible. 1

Trauma: I turned this off for the sole reason that I
was on the verge of liking it and didn’t want that to happen by any
means. The chick’s got giant fucken holes in her earlobes for fucks
sake! 6



I am

disappoint.” 2

ZIV (guest): If the
Disney network started producing Hot Topic-tinged emo-teenage-angst-core
this would be it. I guess the selling point is the hot (not) singing
skank still stuck in her adolescent cali-barbie-goes-goth fantasy world.
A far cry from metal. 1

Edenbridge: Solitaire Edenbridge: Solitaire


Lord K: Do you know of many bands who mix somewhat
thrashy riffs with extremely repulsive female, half-operatic vocals? And
while yer at it – throw in some terrible keyboards and
kindergarten-arrangements all over the place. Now you know one. And I
have but a single advice to you: deny it. Pretend you never heard it.
Stay as far fucken away as you possibly can coz this shit is bound to
give you leprosy. 2

The Duff: Sometimes a moniker surprises with the
music on display, sometimes it doesn’t; shan’t refute it is very
fitting, Edenbridge. These guys and gal hail from Austria, and have been
around for ages, “Solitaire” being album number seven in twelve years;
the experience in the songwriting and musicianship shows, but power
metal epicness (or symphonic/prog/goth metal, according to Wikipedia)
will never side well with me, yet usually I can give credit where due –
I’m not feeling this stuff as much as other bands of such ilk. 6

Trauma: I think they’re chanting “Penis!” and
“Glory hole!” in the intro. The rest was symphonic half-metal so I
kindly turned it off. 2



is fun with cards

not like this.” 2

ZIV (guest): Picture a flabby, pasty white nerd wearing a worn out XXL
Nightwish t-shirt, stuffing his face with cheap viennese pastries, and
playing some sort of computer fantasy game at 3am. This would be one of
his favourite bands. 1

36 Crazyfists: Collisions and castaways 36 Crazyfists: Collisions and castaways


Lord K: The New Wave Of American Plague Metal just
won’t go away. When will people finally stop buying this shit so the
genre itself just dies on us? What have mankind done to deserve this
absolute bullshit? Whatever it is, forgive us. We have learned our
lesson. We can’t take any more of this punishment. 3

The Duff: Can’t think of anything funny to say;
this is the kind of material I avoid like lube that isn’t Equaline,
which should have the selling gambit of “Coats like a fully restored
foreskin!”. Very few saving graces, a lot of the material is
astoundingly watered down for a band that gets such positively
appraising press, but such is the way. 3

Trauma: That many crazyfists should be planted
firmly in 36 limber anuses and very far away from musical instruments or
recording devices. 1


“From your closet

burst with gay pride

36 tender balls.” 2

ZIV (guest): More
breathtakingly bad screamo/clear vocals over crappy Converge style
riffs. The clear vocals are soooo sappy that there has to be some
subliminal Christian message. As generic as K-mart. 1

Avenged Sevenfold: Nightmare Avenged Sevenfold: Nightmare


Lord K: Take the comments I made about the hideous
band 36 Crazyfists and apply them here with the only difference being
Avenged Sevenfold are even shittier. I know, I didn’t think it was
possible. Thank you for proving me wrong. Die. 2

The Duff: The opening track started off okay, but then the singing kicked in – terrible music, great guitar players, awesome artwork. 3

Trauma: You have a guitarist named Synyster Gates. 2


“After Rev’s death

none the wiser

should close shop.” 2

ZIV (guest): I’d rather listen to my mom’s pan flute covers of The Scorpions. 1

Lacrimas Profundere: The grandiose nowhere Lacrimas Profundere: The grandiose nowhere


Lord K: In what feels like one of the worst
AA-editions in a long time, Lacrimas Profundere decides to piss on all
of us with their nauseating goth/rock. I can’t type any more becoz I am
puking all over the place. 2

The Duff: Hahaha, magic. The vocals could make this the greatest band on Earth. 1

Trauma: It’s like Billy Idol for the current generation of metal lovers. Except you won’t be crying “Mo’, mo’, mo’!” 2


“In dark hours

the noose calls

press delete.” 1

ZIV (guest): It’s amazing
to think that the band and label take the vocalist seriously. He sounds
like a talentless Ville Valo sucking on a greasy wurst. Once again ze
Germans take the goth-metal suck-genre even lower. As spooky as
schnitzel. Half a point for the comic factor. 1


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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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