GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – September 2008

Audio Autopsy – September 2008

01/09/08  ||  Global Domination

Motörhead: Motörizer Motörhead: Motörizer

7.4/10

Lord K: This sounds like Motörhead. 5

Kampfar: 33 years of pure, undiluted spirit. Hails to ye Lemmy, you are indeed a legend. 8

The Duff: I listen to these things through my
laptop speakers, and so when the guitars crash through sounding larger
than an elephant parade, you know that the mix is some fine fucken shit.
I gave Chrome Division a hard time for sounding like Motörhead, but
dammit, these legends really know how to fucken play; some may criticize
the band for putting out the same album year after year, but this sound
is too good to let go of, especially when only one band can do it right
(this is me talking out of my ass – I only know Motörhead and Chrome
Division). You can taste the sweat and feel Lemmy’s mutton chops brush
against your ears on this thing. 9

Abyss: The slump that Motörhead always seem to go
into after 2-3 good albums are yet to surface and if this is due to
Lemmy taking less drugs or more is anyone’s guess. What I do know is
that the production sounds great, the drums sound real and the bass is
distorted and loud as always. Motörhead is just like AC/DC; predictable,
trustworthy and immortal. With the exception that Motörhead doesn’t
suck. 7

Seker: If you don’t like Motörhead, you don’t get to be a metalhead. 8

Sinister: The silent howling Sinister: The silent howling

7/10

Lord K: Finally some fucken band that gives me
something in this AA (“finally” becoz they were among the last on the
list considering I went thru them in alphabetical order). Fuck knows we
have been blessed with SUCK this time around.
Sinister’s new bomb is a fine piece of destruction and mayhem. I like my
blasting death metal done this way. We got ourselves a nice bear-growl
together with some memorable tunes and enough brutality and variation to
please the most close-minded death metal fan. I’m not too read up on
these bitches but I saw them live when I helped Vomitory out with a few
gigs some years ago. They were really good back then and it seems as if
they went up the ladder even further with “The silent howling”. This
edition’s winner for me. Great work, bastards. 8

Kampfar: I like Sinister very much, and that is why I chose to write a full review on “The silent howling”. 8

The Duff: This is a’ight… aai’ght… aaaaight… it’s
good; very good in places. Sinister have been around for years, and
their latest, a brand of death with some touches of black, is indication
of this – nothing too striking, but just all-round solid, displaying a
band that has been comfortable playing and perfecting their shit for, in
the words of Eddie “Dirk Diggler” Adams, “a really long time”. 7

Abyss: Death metal, Dutch I believe, but let’s not
hold that against them. Sinister has made a bit of comeback after
leaving/firing/who knows Rachel and while their brand of death metal
doesn’t really leave you a lot to hang on to it’s ok compared to 90% of
the other crap in this month’s AA. 5

Seker: Sinister are one of my favorite Dutch bands.
This particular album of theirs is well worth picking up, with lots of
different types of riffs and the rhythmic complexity I’ve come to expect
from them. Good use of samples as well. 7

Jeff Loomis: Zero order phase Jeff Loomis: Zero order phase

6.2/10

Lord K: If I want an instrumental album that’s focusing solely on guitars I will listen to Yngwie’s first one. That masterpiece is everything you need when it comes to skill and emotion (and fantastic songs,
mind you). We all know that this Jeff guy is a gifted musician and so
forth, his work in Nevermore is a good enough proof of it, but I don’t
know if we need a solo album by him, much like with his (Nevermore)
bandmate Warrel’s effort. I think it’s cool that Jeff mixes some
Meshuggah like influences into the riffing to accompany his wankery, but
in the end it’s nothing special about this offering. I don’t get the
goosebumps I get when I listen to early Yngwie or anything, but there’s
no denying this is quite a sweet listen for guitar nerds. I’m no guitar
nerd though. Also, nice album artwork, had not Dark Tranquillity done it
earlier on “Fiction”. 7

Kampfar: Mr. Loomis is said to be one of the best
guitarists ever, and I don’t care, even less so after hearing “Zero
order phase”. Here the feel stays the same for the whole shebang, which
comes to down Mr. Loomis gushing out riff upon riff – expertly so and
sounding pretty great while at it – nigh on similar to one another. And
on top you have sort of an endless solo. Summa sum-arum, I’d say “ZOP”
sounds like a guitarist with a backing band. Impressive but boring. 5

The Duff: I really wanted to melt this CD down, mix
it in with honey and glaze my nipples with a thin, sugary coat, such is
my idolization of Jeff Loomis. With guitar solo albums from my all-time
favourites Joe Satriani and Steve Vai not measuring up for many a year,
I thought Jeff would be the one to show how to release a shred album.
Unfortunately, although a solid album, this sounds like Nevermore
without the vocals and some unnecessary leads to fill the spot of the
missing Warrel D. (to the sugar-ti’ddies). More of a shame is that I’d
really like to hear some of these riffs on the follow-up to “This
Godless endeavour”. I do find solace in that I hear Jeff repeating
certain things within his repertoire, and although this consists of a
whole gamut of techniques to my one or two fancy licks, I can still
breathe a sigh of relief – this album still shows why Jeff is one of the
world’s leading guitar players. 7

Abyss: Surprisingly Jeff Loomis sounds a lot like
the singer in Nevermore. No wait he doesn’t, this is an instrumental
album, silly me. But the differences between Loomis solo and Nevermore
are basically just some vocals. oh, and maybe a wee bit more
guitar-wank. But pretty decent wank. I think I like this album, which
means that Warrel Dane is the weak link in Nevermore. That is until I
realized that I will never listen to “Zero order phase” after this AA.
come to think of it, I think I actually prefer Dane’s “Praises to the
War Machine” over this. And pigs just grew wings… 5

Seker: Hey, an instrumental progressive metal
album! I don’t think that kind of stuff has ever showed up in Audio
Autopsy, or at least not on my watch. The melodic solos sound pretty
sick, the clicky drums sound pretty sick in a bad way, but all in all
its listenable enough. It’s no Blotted Science though. 7

Dragonforce: Ultra beatdown Dragonforce: Ultra beatdown

5.2/10

Lord K: Sure, their skills are ever as impressive
as the music is fucken hideous. The epitome of power metal/guitar
wankery? Quite possibly so. I get the creeps when I listen to this, my
skin begins to crawl, my legs itch, I get a bad taste in my mouth – like
one of my cats went in there and died. But still there’s something
about Dragonschwartz that makes me smile when I hear them. And that
bothers me. I should really, really despise this becoz it is
hideous. But it’s hideous in a good way (no, I don’t know how that
works) and I take a great liking in the guitar work. But they are still
hideous, don’t get me wrong. 6

Kampfar: Extremely well played and at times
interesting power metal is still power metal, which means there are
loads of smelly cheesy to endure. Hell, this is entirely made
of said stuff, but nonetheless I can enjoy this. For 10 seconds at the
time. Oh, almost forgot, The Abyss lookalike is a fucking ace guitarist.
5

The Duff: Dragonforce are still delivering exactly
what’s expected of them, which is commendable; as musically gifted as
they are, it’s surprising they’ve remained so consistent up until this,
their fourth album. I’m scoring the album on musical merit and the
band’s impressive ability to stay about as true to their fans as
possible, but personally, I hate Dragonforce more than I hate a
cheesegrater working my ballsack raw – I have now preserved my
manliness. 7

Abyss: What was once a novelty and amusingly catchy
is now tiresome and repetitive, but still catchy. But in a Ebola kind
of way. Dragonfrog really need to up their game for the next record. 4

Seker: The album cover, band name, and spastic
power metal guitar attack scream “World of Warcraft”, but other than
that it’s okay… or at least it would be if they hadn’t done it three
times before and better. The choruses are a lot more annoying this time
around, but what really pushes this one over the edge is how same-y it
all sounds. It’s still a lot better than Chrome Division or the new
Destruction, but it’s definitely not a classic. 4

Benediction: Killing music Benediction: Killing music

4.8/10

Lord K: What’s Benediction “famous” for? Nothing,
that’s what. At least it’s fun to listen to drummer Nick Barker, though I
really don’t understand why he wanted part of this. Benediction were
always an uninteresting band with their third grade death metal and is
yet another confirmation that the UK has little to offer to the death
metal scene. There are worse bands out there, sure, but Benediction
isn’t even in the top 500 of decent death metal bands. This is funny,
from their MySpace page: “With sales of their albums in the hundreds of thousands and having played just about everywhere in the world BENEDICTION are still as popular today as they have ever been”. Yeah, they are real popular. For fuck’s sake. 3

Kampfar: I haven’t familiarized myself with Benediction since “Transcend the Rubicon” – which is a fine piece of death, only
littered with heroine vocals – but apart from that album I couldn’t
care less about this pack of Brits. “Killing music” doesn’t change any
of that, as this lot is nowhere near having enough fine riffs and ideas
to defend a whooping 12 songs all performed in mid-tempo. To me “Killing
music” sounds like one long song sprinkled with artificial gravel. Go
Mistress, more or less fuck this. 5

The Duff: I’m guessing this is a throwback band,
old-school death metal; one indication of this is the not-so-intense
drumming, a major issue I have with this album. The riffs are really
great, but I won’t remember this in a day’s time because nothing
throttles my eardrums here. 6

Abyss: Well this I didn’t expect; a band with Dave
Hunt (Anaal Nathrakh) in it and me not deliriously happy with the
vocals! Maybe it’s because I know just how mind-alteringly intense he
can sound that his harsh screamings here fail to impress me. Plus for
audibility and twisted lyrics though. Musically Benediction is death
metal of the olden ways, no frills, some fills and not that much to go
apeshit over. When the album is over I just feel kinda… disappointed. 5

Seker: Benediction were always a passable death
metal band with moment of brilliance, like on a few songs on “The Grand
Leveler” or the title track of “Grind Bastard”. They never really were
worth getting that excited about in the wake of bands like Bolt Thrower
and Malediction, and the most notable thing they’ve done is give Barney
Greenway to Napalm Death. This album doesn’t do much to change that,
incorporating nothing more than a slightly more technical approach and
modern production, but fans of old British death metal should find
something to enjoy. 5

Soulfly: Conquer Soulfly: Conquer

4.6/10

Lord K: I have heard this album ever since the
debut was released. You know what that means. Same shit as always.
Sepultura is shittier, Cavalera Conspiracy is better. And none of these 3
are particularly good. 5

Kampfar: Max “I hate for a noble reason” Cavalera
is no doubt one of the ugliest cunts in the biz, appearing as if he
traveled the world to collect diseases, not to play music. That aside,
and time for a surprise, for on “Conquer” there is very little
hoola-boola, which means no gay monk choirs playing flutes with their
asses and what have you. There are some small to medium sized hints here
and there, but fortunately no full dishes, which makes this platter,
roughly put, an up-tempo metal dish spiced with punk rather than a
ethnic potpourri with an angry man in the middle. Max might look like he
is falling apart, but the fucker finally fetched some focus and set out
to churn out some quality anger again. Not great, but close to very
good. More spins, perhaps? 7

The Duff: There was a time in my life when I could
either follow Metallica etc., or bands like Korn and Soulfly; this band I
always felt were given a bit of a headstart in the metal world because
people associated Max with the classic Brazilian thrashers, but it
didn’t take long for people to catch on to the drastic shift in style.
“Conquer” appears to be a bit more of a recall to Max’s thrashier
leanings, but I can’t say I’m too excited; I listen to tech death, these
days, y’know, so the times of Soulfly being able to impress me
disappeared along with the tightness of my scrotum – kaplow, or as a
Korn/Soulfly fan is prone to say:
rhatamanagazzayo’ain’tmahdaddymahzingahnoonoo; ah, when tribal was the
new black, you had the world by the balls. 4

Abyss: Seems ol’ Max received a massive injection
of Teh Ballz a few years ago because not only did The Cavalera
Conspiracy sound pretty manly but the snorefest Soulfly actually became
more then 50% etno-bullshit on “Dark Ages”. Things keep going in the
same vein on “Conquer” and while not fantastic at least I don’t feel
like skipping all the songs! 6

Seker: Sitdafuckdown! 1

Destruction: D.E.V.O.L.U.T.I.O.N. Destruction: D.E.V.O.L.U.T.I.O.N.

4.6/10

Lord K: The funniest thing with this recording is
vocalist/bassist Schmier’s voiceovers, haha… He sounds like a gremlin
coming into the picture, totally cracking me the fuck up with laughter.
Good work, old man. If you had made the music here as impressive as
those voiceovers we would have ended up with quite a fantastic album.
This is not the case as it is now. What’s with all these old bands
(Destruction, Venom, Nuclear Assault etc, etc) believing anyone actually
give a fuck these days? Isn’t it about fucken time that one of those
old farts come back with an album that completely kills? But hey, we can
always count on Exodus for that. This latest effort from Destruction is
nothing to get yer panties wet over; it’s boring semi-thrash with a
better packaging (a.k.a production) than content. 4

Kampfar: I fancy destruction over Destruction,
always did, and I’ll always hate stupid p.u.n.c.t.u.a.t.i.o.n. I do not
hate this album, however, for indifferent it leaves me. Then again, I’m
indifferent towards most thrash tinged music, so don’t take my word for
it. Oh, Mr. Schmier sounds like a fucking retard while being Mr.
Voice-over man. By the sound of it, I bet I could kick his ass and steal
all his money, GTA style. 5

The Duff: Haha! Yeah, I can dig this. Some sweet tone, kickass vocals, metal spirit; just not to be taken seriously. 6

Abyss: Starting of a thrash-album with acoustic
guitars and then a high falsetto-scream ain’t that bright in my book but
I guess Destruction wanted to turn attention away from the silly
punctuation-problem they had with the album title. Musically things are
pretty much the same as always; decent German thrash that does the job
and occasionally finds a diamond in the rough but mostly just makes me
long for Kreator and Sodom to kick my ass. 5

Seker: Some of the melodies on this are pretty
interesting, but the old viciousness and complexity that characterized
albums like “Eternal Devastation” is all but gone. If you liked
“Inventor of Evil”, you might like this, but even then I wouldn’t count
on it. Also, the down-tuning makes it sound really lame. 3

Chrome Division: Booze, broads and Beelzebub Chrome Division: Booze, broads and Beelzebub

4.4/10

Lord K: The album title is cool, but the only band
you need with “division” in their moniker is, yes, Torture Division.
Chrome Division isn’t shit though, quite far from it if you like this
hybrid of rock and metal. It’s definitely not a fave style of mine, but I
can live with it. 5

Kampfar: Chrome Division sounded like a great idea,
that until I heard the vocals. The music is fine, has groove and all,
so it is a minor shame their talentless vocalist are allowed, once
again, to paint grey and blunt edges. Fuck him, his fake attitude, his
stiff upper lip, and also his big, stupid sunglasses. 6

The Duff: Apparently this is a super-group of
sorts, comprising one member from Dimmu Borgir; drawing heavily from
Motörhead, and I know from the first track I’m not going to enjoy this.
Although the album’s title and many of its track names are commendable,
this cock-rock shall never be something I’ll understand. 5

Abyss: Chrome Division and Motörhead on the same
AA? Oh you just know nails and high heels will fly… and it ain’t the
Norwegians that will come out on top. Compared to the mighty Kilmister
Chrome Division have nothing to offer and boy it must burn to be
outplayed by guys twice your age. 5

Seker: This stuff is really lame, guys. Do people actually listen to this? 1

Pro-Pain: No end in sight Pro-Pain: No end in sight

3.8/10

Lord K: Aska Productions got an offer to organize a gig with these guys not long ago. We said “no”. 3

Kampfar: This is, roughly put,
stand-up-for-yerself-core with a twist, made by a band that’s been
around since man first discovered propane. Compared to your standard
Hatebreed nonsense, “No end in sight” is pure genius, and even on its
own it stands more or less rank, but Hail!Hornet alone, even though the
two aren’t very related, makes sure I won’t listen to this band or CD
ever again. Well, except for “Hour of the time”, that is. I love its
drive and also the trumpet pumping up the chorus. Ah, the whole song is
fucking great. Yes, I’m gay, but I only like big trumpets, so forget the
email already. Cumguzzler. 6

The Duff: Are these guys still going? I hate punk
in my metal unless you’re talking grind; before you come at me with
“Well then you shouldn’t like
either”, I will fuck you in the mouth. This stuff is boring; terrible,
even. Cold pizza is tasty. Jacking it to tranny porno can be
surprisingly rewarding. A point for the soloing. 2

Abyss: Pro-Penis has been around for ages and it
shows. On the other hand it’s kinda sad that it only takes 16 years to
wear a street-tough, New York hardcore band down to something that could
be the non-Teutonic version of Austrian Death Machine’s parody of
metalcore. Boring boring boring. 4

Seker: I’m pretty sure Pro-Pain has more albums
than Motörhead, and I’m pretty sure I’ll never care for their
aggro-hardcore-groove stuff. It’s decent for what it is though. 4

Into Eternity: The incurable tragedy Into Eternity: The incurable tragedy

3.8/10

Lord K: We really got ourselves a shit edition this
time around so it’s nice to see Into Eternity make sure we stay at that
level. This is some fantastically confused music. Power metal riffs on
top of semi-blasts with absolutely shitty clean vocals… Wow. Adding to
the disaster is a very weak production (listen to the drums. Oh, man…)
that further enhances the irritation, as if the happy riffs and guitar
leads (the screamy vocals are shit too, let’s not forget that) weren’t
enough. I have no idea where this band is from or how they ended up on
AA, but be sure it’s the last time you see them in this. 3

Kampfar: Into Eternity spells identity crisis, at
least their mix of power metal and prikke litt extreme metal doesn’t
make much sense to this cunt. Nothing wrong with their skills, even able
to come up with a couple of fine riffs and licks they are, but I just
can’t fathom the logic behind their mix of salt and sugar. It will be
too extreme for the power gays and too gay for the extreme trolls.
Pretty much useless. 3

The Duff: I shall maintain that these guys are some
of the most talented musicians on the planet, but every time I hear
praise concerning their music, I convince myself to check it out only to
be heavily disappointed – I find the same to be the case with Spiral
Architect, and so I conclude that it’s the vocals; Halford and
tech/death metal don’t mix. I can stand the cheese, believe you me;
there’s some atrocious Dream Theater stuff that I worship to no end, but
this here, although technically amazing, grates the nerves. 6

Abyss: A thematic thrash-prog album about incurable cancer with a neutered singer, any takers? Anyone? None? 4

Seker: Some frenzied guitar work can’t cure the
tragedy of bad vocals clean and harsh, boring “progressive” drumming,
and uninspired songwriting. If this band ever had a wad to shoot, they
splattered the walls with it years ago. 3

Ross The Boss: New metal leader Ross The Boss: New metal leader

3.6/10

Lord K: I can’t for the life of me understand why this album is not called “New Penis Eater”. 2

Kampfar: Ross The Toss is shitty gross, but his
music ain’t that fucking bad. This means you have to roundhouse kick me
in the face, for this is no doubt (not so) heavy metal. What the fuck is
going on here, did someone inject me with A.I.D.S while I slept this
night? Or could it be this black crackwhore I had here the other day?
Or… nah, I’m clean, halfway through and I now want to stab my eardrums
with a pencil, something akin. Bla, bla. The crunch is fucking good
though, only a shame the guitarist, which would be Ross, and possibly a
friend, wimp out and play fucking power-chords most of time. Not that I
know what a power-chord is, but it sounds boring. And the ballads… oh
fuck. 4

The Duff: This isn’t a real band. 2

Abyss: I think if Ross re-joined Manowar now
there’d be a severe clash of styles and egos. Ross the Boss sounds like
Manowar did 20 years ago (no surprise) while Manowar now sounds like
feces landing on a shag carpet. In other words, not that much has
changed. 4

Seker: At least it’s not nu-metal leader. Ross’s
stuff actually reminds me of old Helloween mixed with some more epic
trudging stuff, so from a musical standpoint it’s aight. Too bad the
vocals are pretty terrible. 6

Iced Earth: The crucible of man Iced Earth: The crucible of man

3.2/10

Lord K: I always dug Mat Barlow’s vocals, but that’s the problem in the equation too… Those vocals are basically the only
thing I like about Iced Earth. Mat’s got a fucken huge problem though.
Call it the Mats Levén Syndrome, ending pretty much every second vocal
line with a “uuuuah!”. That shit is hideous. The simple and worn-out
riffs sprayed all over the material make few people happy as well. Iced
Earth are bound to forever be one of those bands that everyone’s heard
of but no one actually gives much of a fuck about. Another proof that
competent musicians necessarily don’t mean good music. 4

Kampfar: It would be wonderful to experience
humanity collectively freeze to death, gangrene is the shit, but this
band isn’t. I know, they are shitty talented, but I’m also shitty tired
of power metal bands going on about prophecies this and prophecies that.
Talent a plenty, but this is not for me. 5

The Duff: I haven’t kept up with this band since “The Glorious Burden”, which wasn’t so bad if you forgave a faux-pas (or AIDS-pas,
hhaahaahaaa) like “When the eagle cries”; I could even warm to Ripper
Owens – it took the return of legendary Matt Barlow for my interest to
be revived. Well, this is a terrible effort from this once amazing band –
the album plods along with some real amateur riffing; where’s the
full-throttle attack on this thing? “The Dimension Gauntlet”!? Is that
it?! It’s a sad state of affairs when the exotic scales actually deaden
the music moreso. Matt Barlow sounds incredible, and it appears as
though his heart is as ever one hundred percent in this thing, which is a
shame; the guy is so good he comes across as distanced from the rest of
the band. 2

Abyss: Jon Shaeffer can fucking suck it. And he
does. Heavily. Whoever thought power metal needed some semi-gruff vocals
and the same ideas copied for 6 albums deserves zero respect. 2

Seker: The pretentious “epic” stuff, modern metal
idiocy, and surprisingly bad vocals kill any good aspects this release
might have. Sure, a thrash riff might show up, and a harmonized guitar
lick or two are pretty cool-sounding, but is it worth digging through
all the shit to find it? 3

All Shall Perish: Awaken the dreamers All Shall Perish: Awaken the dreamers

3.2/10

Lord K: Another band from the NWOSAM
(New Wave Of Shitty American Metal) poop factory. The guitarists show
off some decent skills every now and then in this ultra boring mess full
of mid tempo bullshit, and that is about the only thing that is
listenable for more than 2 seconds. They don’t cut it as a whole,
though, as the clean guitar sections just sound misplaced. It’s not
emotional, it’s not going anywhere and it certainly isn’t very metal.
The über-triggered drums adds nothing but irritation to the whole thing
and not even the occasional blastbeat make this sound heavy for shit no
matter how hard they try. 3

Kampfar: Captain Obvious is a striking fella, but
not the one to call when about to name your band. All Must Shit, All
Must Eat, All Must Breath… fuck off. I don’t like their music either,
not at all. Never did. Generic, watered-down death-core, only this time
around spiced with a “we are mature and a bit emotional men now” feel,
which I hate, is nowhere near my idea of good. “Awaken the dreamers”
sounds like made from a bland recipe found in a bore-core cookbook. This
is bullshit. 3

The Duff: Wow, I was floored when I first heard
this; I think some of the solos took me aback as I originally mistook
these guys for a nu-metal band purely by the all-knowing word of the
internet. Death metal meets metalcore/hardcore is best performed by
bands like The Red Chord or Between the Buried and Me; even if some of
the leads on this disc are sweet; the riffs unfortunately are not.
Overall, top notch musicianship still makes this somewhat enjoyable a
listen. 5

Abyss: There’s musical prowess here, or at least
the ability to play tight and rhythmic, but I’m not as sure about the
actual songwriting. That one sucks. And given how easy it is to cheat in
a studio now a days I don’t think I’m gonna give the tight and rhythmic
playing too much credit either. 3

Seker: Looks like some driftwood from the metalcore storm of ‘04 washed up on AA Beach. 2

Fear My Thoughts: Isolation Fear My Thoughts: Isolation

5/10

Lord K: What do you get if you have a transparent
box big enough to fit your skull into, a dude lying on the floor with
his head in that box, an opening on the top of it where someone
(preferably a chick) can put her ass and take a dump into the fucko’s
face? You get a German shit porn movie that I wish I was never shown in
the first place. Needless to say I didn’t finish the movie (my father in
law at the time did though, at numerous occasions). But if I have to
choose between watching that one in its entirety or listen to Fear My
Thoughts’ new album, chances are I’m choosing the movie. Half-emo’d,
half-metal’d shit music. 3

Kampfar: I’m sure I could make the members of this
cesspool fear my chainsaw, but they are very unable at scaring me with
their emo-core, sometimes with a hint of Meshuggah bullcrap. Fuck, the
last time I heard them here idiots, which was in the form of “Hell sweet
hell”, they had actually made something really rather good, and,
compared to this pisser, also extreme. Nowadays Cliff Richard is more
extreme than this lot of wankers. Hell, at least that idiot had himself
some extreme make-over’s, now looking shitty grim for sure, not even
able to fucking smile. Now, that’s necro for ya. These Germans had an
extreme-ball-removing-make-over instead. Die. 2

The Duff: Not good, not good at all – a group
tip-toeing the lines between too many bands, trying to appeal to too
many audiences. They’ve taken influences from some very non-enthralling
bands (Godsmack and Nickleback to name a few), not only failing to mold
it all into their own sound (this is a very cut-and-paste affair), but
also creating music that exhibits some very lazy plagiarism. To top it
all off, the vocalist is terrible. This doesn’t belong on a metal site
if you’re looking for a favorable review, that’s for sure, so Fear My
Thoughts should take solace in that. Somehow this is worse than Ross the
Boss, though… 1

Abyss: There’s something wrong with the singers
voice, he might have a case of Teh Gay. No, that’s not it, I think it’s
the aimless attempts at playing metal by the musicians. No that’s not it
either, could it be a case of both? Well yes, Watson, that must be it.
Die. 3

Seker: XXCenturyMediaCore4LyfeXx. 1

Lacrimas Profundere: Songs for the last view Lacrimas Profundere: Songs for the last view

1.2/10

Lord K: I don’t know which one of the Germans suck
most in this edition; Fear My Thoughts or Lacrimas Profundere. Being 2
completely different styles, they suck in different aspects. FMT
suck at creating metal and LP suck at creating emotional gothic rock.
They can both join forces and suck each other as far as I’m concerned.
Bring back the good old Holy Moses at the time of “New machine of
Liechtenstein”. 2

Kampfar: Oh fuck, the pop-metal disease is here
again, and this time around I’m served piss poor emo vocals backed by a
band playing decent shit in a professional manner, all heavily sprinkled
with pink, imagined depression. In fact, this poop is my new yardstick
for no-balls-whatsoever hopelessness, and the reeking pussies
responsible should know that they are members of one of the worst bands
ever. Being a fan of this band is the equivalent of being a scat movie
enthusiast. Fire at will, shoot to kill. Die. 1

The Duff: This is my knowledge of goth/doom – this
band could be inspired by either Type-O Negative, My Dying Bride or
H.I.M. You’d be correct in thinking I know nothing about goth/doom. This
album is fucken razor blades to the insides of my ears. 1

Abyss: The world does not need this pseudo-angsty
goth/rock mishmash of Andrew Eldritch’s inbreed cousin and Tiamat with
5% motorskills. Go back and haunt Germany. 1

Seker: Oh look, it’s the new My Chemical Romance album! WHEN I WAS 1

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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