Audio Autopsy – October 2013

Audio Autopsy – October 2013

01/10/13  ||  Global Domination

Watain: The wild hunt Watain: The wild hunt


Habakuk: “They rode on” is probably the best Maiden
ballad in quite a while. The rest is strong black (with a touch of
death) metal, but I’m not completely hooked. Feels like a grower,
though. 7

CadenZ: Huge props to Watain for being bold and
mature enough to evolve their sound. “The Wild Cunt” holds more
variation than the band’s combined back-catalogue does, but still
doesn’t feel disjointed. It does, however, lack the really smashing hit
songs that would make this album more than merely a good addition to
their discography. 8

Cobal: This is so vital that I almost forgot it’s black metal. Great work. 8

Sokaris: Watain are a band I hate to love due to their ultra-douchey fanbase. Though they might not be as great as THEY
think they are, “The wild hunt” is a surprisingly diverse, more
accessible brand of the darkness that these guys excel at. The “ballad”
in the center of the album comes highly recommended. 8

sincan: The first single that was released did make
me a bit worried. However they ended up releasing an album that will
top many top lists when the year is going towards its death. The first
tracks are “typical” Watain tracks, but then the ballad “They rode on”
comes in and takes the album to other places. I really appreciate the
title track with a Bathory “viking era” touch. If you don’t appreciate
this, you’re probably not into metal, like the guys in Avenged
Sevenfold. 9

Ironpants: I totally dig that Watain are stretching
their limits, and at first I was in awe. But after 20 spins or so, it
fades out a bit and crystallizes itself to a regular good album, instead
of a “2013 – Top 5”. 8

Exhumed: Necrocracy Exhumed: Necrocracy


Habakuk: Runs by like a freight train. 6

CadenZ: Why in the fuck haven’t I listened more to
these excellent schmucks?! Death metal with great heavy and thrash metal
influences. These guys have obviously done their Carcass homework, but
they still have a sound of their own. One of the best albums this year
for sure! 9

Cobal: It’s been a long, long time since I last dug a death metal record for its GUITAR SOLOS!? I stand impressed (a bit). 7

Sokaris: Gore metal gurus Exhumed are easily the
finest of the Carcass carrion, this time their focus shifting more
towards the “Heartwork” sound. A less gritty, more refined work that
showcases some shockingly tuneful leads and riffs. 8

sincan: How could they miss the opportunity to
place a necro killer zombie crocodile on the cover for this one? I
really don’t appreciate the lighter vocals, the bass however tickles my
like button when it grooves around here and there. 5

Ironpants: I have never been really into Exhumed.
This album has hit me in the solar plexus, and forced me to dig in their
back catalog. I will spend the rest of the year punishing myself for my
ignorance. Good honest American death metal. 8

Svart: Det personliga helvetets spiral Svart: Det personliga helvetets spiral


Habakuk: This oozes talent, and it’s far from the
one-dimensional depressive doom metal I expected. Versatile to the point
where I checked if it was still the same band playing, and generally
really, really good. 8

CadenZ: A bit uneven in quality, just like my
thrusts in the sack (hit or miss takes on a new meaning). Aw, what the
hell, let’s continue with the sex allegories: the boring parts are still
enjoyable and the peaks are orgasmic. Epic build-ups taken all the way
always deliver. 8

Cobal: I like their rather melancholic approach to TEH
dark art. Even majestic at times. I wish I had more time to lay back
and listen to this kind of metal like in the good old days. Good month
for black metal listeners. 8

Sokaris: Is Svart like a shart gone horribly wrong(er)? Decent atmosphere but a lot of parts tend to just fucken plod. 4

sincan: Well I guess I “should” think that this is
super great but I must say that I’m not totally convinced with this
offering. Some parts are really good, like the Epicus Bombasticus
choirus stringus part on “Suicidiums evinnerliga bävan” or the following
track which in whole is great, but for instance in the opening track I
rather see what could be a weaker Acacia
track to be honest. My impression is that Draug tries to fit a lot
(maybe too much) of different things into this project, with various
results. 6

Ironpants: There is something in Sweden that makes
us totally embrace melancholy, darkness and depression and pick out the
beauty in it. I´m that kind of dude that can not appreciate it in the
spring or summer though, but the rest of the year it can get loads of
hours in my sound system. In Sweden, “the rest of the year” means 9
months. 7

Fleshgod Apocalypse: Labyrinth Fleshgod Apocalypse: Labyrinth


Habakuk: Anyone looking for more in music than technical proficiency, steer clear. 5

CadenZ: It’s too bad when an ambitious band, like
Fleshgod Apocalypse, stagnate and become repetitive already on their
third album. The song material is OK, even though the classical parts
are amateurish at best. Hint: just because you make a string section
play a standard arpeggio doesn’t make it interesting. I still like
“Labyrinth” in all its intensity and more-is-more credo, but I would’ve
liked more high quality melodic material to distinguish songs (and
albums) from each other. 6

Cobal: To think that Shagrath and company could
once get to be something like this. It’s impressive how these Italians
get away with so many “don’ts”. Too impressive perhaps. 7

Sokaris: There’s probably way too many ideas
crammed in here, too much shit going on at once but… Well, just turn it
way up and let it have its way with you. It’s easier that way. 7

sincan: It was with a frightened mind and a closed
anus I approached this record, since the band name did not do the trick
for me. Italian “metalheads” seem to love some inappropriate Goth in the
most weird places. When the opera thing kicked in I lost my false teeth
and I’m still looking for ‘em. It sometimes sounds frighteningly
similar to Finnish symphonic “metal”. This for sure is a weird journey.
Can I please go home? 3

Ironpants: Can you die from an overdose of blast
beats and symphonic death metal? Well, if that´s the case, you better be
careful around this rascal. Damn, it´s intense, pretentious, massive
and overly awesome. But there is something wrong with the sound picture,
I can’t put my penis on what though? 9

Revocation: Revocation Revocation: Revocation


Habakuk: I think I confused them with Evocation, so
clearly my expectation weren’t met. Rather lifeless, standard technical
fare, this. 6

CadenZ: Another great prog/tech melodic
death metal band I’ve missed, in the same AA?! Don’t get me wrong, I’m
not complaining – discoveries of this high a quality level are always
welcome, especially in pairs! Kinda like my testicles. I’m sure Mr. Hair
and Sack would form a great melodeath band. 8

Cobal: Sounds like Revocation to me. I can hear
some very proficient shit. Unlike other acts, not only can these guys
play, but also write good songs. Still and although I’m well aware this
comment won’t please anyone within a 100 km ratio around GD, this is not
my thing. 6

Sokaris: Someone should revoke the microphone from
this guy. The band seems to stab in a few different directions but,
other than a few scattered highlights, fail to leave an impression. 5

sincan: Oh, no this does not sound American at all.
And yes I can appreciate American music but not the kind when the
vocalist has a hard on while doing his thaang because he thinks that he
is so super brutal and cool. I guess he practices in front of a mirror
with his feet two meters apart and one hand holding an invisible orange
while the other is forming a fist. Exactly that cool. He might even wear
a bandana sometimes. The music is rather good from time to time, and
the vocals are, to be honest, not that horrible all time, especially
when they goes real brvtal. 5

Ironpants: They are quite innovative and a nice
breath of fresh air. I like their take on everything with their techy
thrash/death. I think I will have to listen more to this album though to
fully appreciate it? 7

Chimaira: Crown of phantoms Chimaira: Crown of phantoms


Habakuk: They’ve always been one of the better “modern” bands, and this sounds like a more than decent effort. 7

CadenZ: Sounds like he’s screaming about “FRRIIEEEEEEEEND ZOOOOOOOONEED!!”
on “Crown of Phantoms”. Seems like a pretty emo subject to me, but hey,
feel free to write songs about your boyfriend all you like. I’m sure
he’ll come around, now that you’ve gone public and all with it. 5

Cobal: Where did all the groove go? No, gentlemen, playing syncopation is not enough. Correction: Not ALL the groove’s gone. There’s actually a couple killer songs. 6

Sokaris: Chimaira tend to stumble on a decent riff
or trip over a good lead here or there but they’ve always been tethered
to the mainstream since their inception. Whether that was being an
angsted up Fear Factory Jr in the early days, their sudden love of “real
metal” that followed or this piece of slightly djenty metalcore
there’s always something that keeps this band from being truly
interesting. 5

sincan: I once, way back, bought a CD with these
guys because I liked the cover. I never bought anything else from them.
However If I had to choose one of these core bands in this AA it would
be Chimaira every day since it lacks eyeliner tears and doesn’t include
too much joy. 5

Ironpants: In Greek mythology, a chimaira is a
three-headed monster. Another myth is that the band Chimaira is
interesting and exciting. Mediocre. 5

Michael Monroe: Horns and halos Michael Monroe: Horns and halos


Habakuk: Another case of “Who the fuck is…?”, but the music rocks dutifully. 6

CadenZ: The Hanoi Rocks frontman still delivers
rock n’ roll attitude like a motherfucker. “Horns and Halos” sounds like
a bunch of punk fucks playing rock, which is much better than the
opposite. Personal highlight: the reggae-skate punk-thrash metal track
“Soul Surrender”. Best party rock album of 2013. 8

Cobal: MTV-friendly hard
rock that’s absolutely impossible not to nod to. Why, oh, why did I
actually like a few songs? Except, who the fuck is Michael Monroe? 6

Sokaris: A slight step above the typical washed-up solo artist watermark here at AA. However, that’s not exactly a high point to hit. 4

sincan: Old guy sleazing around. Not much new,
maybe a bit less excessive than others in the genre and it sounds pretty
professional. Something for some people to drink a beer or thousand to,
but I pass and take some Mötley Cüe that day every second year I feel
like listening to such music. 4

Ironpants: You gotta hand it to the old fart, it´s
pretty action-filled stuff he performs, the fucker is 50+ years old.
But, your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock´n´roll. Neither do
I. 3

Trouble: The distortion field Trouble: The distortion field


Habakuk: In my head, they were a little more stoner than this. Still, not too bad. 6

CadenZ: Solid band, solid effort. End of comment. 6

Cobal: While I did really dig the first two or
three tracks, I eventually realized this is just hard rock and
desperately tries to be doom. In fact, failed attempts piss the shit off
me. 4

Sokaris: Does anyone else find it amusing that Kyle
“Slaughter in the Vatican” is singing for what started as a Christian
band? Jokes aside, for the most part this works and it’s good to see
another band dust off the cobwebs and put out a decent effort. 6

sincan: Hm, this was kind of weird. Old slow and heavy metal meets Nickelback and Mustasch. I rather not… 4

Ironpants: A legendary band, I know that, but I
have never ever found anything special in them. Not this time either,
it´s in my distortion field. 5

DevilDriver: Winter kills DevilDriver: Winter kills


Habakuk: Is it me or are Devildriver and Chimaira always releasing their albums together? 6

CadenZ: I had to check three times if Chimaira was still on. 5

Cobal: Pretty decent, but ultimately unnecessary and forgettable. Is that a typo? 5

Sokaris: Too middling to make an impression. It
never gets too heavy, too melodic, too fast, too slow, too traditional,
too progressive or too anything else that might gasp give it character. 5

sincan: Winter kills? Well hello there Mr. not so
trve cvlt anti frost lord. California is well known for its fine beers.
Get these guys a six-pack so they can groove a bit. 4

Ironpants: I actually have found some good stuff from DD earlier in their career. But now they are in some kind of “Oh man, we have to do another album soon”
mode, and then throwing some shit together that sounds alright (to
them). Where´s the hunger? The attitude? The spunk? And Dez fucken sings
all the time and never shuts the fuck up, so the songs are never
allowed to groove. Boecklin delivers on the drums though, I like him. 5

ReVamp: Wild card ReVamp: Wild card


Habakuk: If listening to some chick yodeling over bland pop metal is your idea of a good time, hunt this shit down. 3

CadenZ: As much as I hate the chugga-chugga
breakdown riffs and lifeless metalcore production, I can’t dislike this
album too much. Why? You spell it “Floor Jansen”, I spell it fhhhgrgrlglgalglalglalgalgr. 5

Cobal: Groovy and badass enough… for Gothic metal. 7

Sokaris: Despite my (at best) indifference to
“chick metal” this actually really soars when the band play to its
strengths. The soaring, operatic moments make me well up like a little
bitch watching The Notebook. The chuggy parts, though? They make me
want to hurl like anyone with testicles watching The Notebook. 7

sincan: Oh, this moniker does not sound promising.
Maybe if I wear my bomb suit I will be able to handle it. Ok, I will
also hold my breath. AAAAAAAh here we go! OK
take some Within Temptation, add small pieces of Nightwish and a large
portion of “modern” plus a random insult of your choice. 3

Ironpants: Here´s a wild card for ´ya. Opera is not
my favorite singing style, also I don’t like musicals. This sounds like
“Phantom of the opera” in a metal costume. I am not floored by Jansen. 3

Newsted: Heavy metal music Newsted: Heavy metal music


Habakuk: Nothing screams “cashgrab” louder than an
absolutely irrelevant metal band named after its bass player. Especially
if the band is not called Choy or DiGiorgio or Patterson. 4

CadenZ: Monotone thrash metal is monotone. No news here, Ted. 5

Cobal: His EP was promising, but this is just
nonsense. Tired and plain true metal only for the die-hard fans. Except
Jason has none. 5

Sokaris: Smartass comment. 3

sincan: Well, no way as shitty as expected! Still not great, but bearable. Better than “Life magnetic”. 4

Ironpants: I had higher hopes for this one. Jason
seemed to be on a crusade to make some kind of statement? He presents a
few alrighty songs though…and it´s still better than Metallica. That
doesn’t say much though. 5

Avenged Sevenfold: Hail to the king Avenged Sevenfold: Hail to the king


Habakuk: That name makes my alarm bells ring, but it’s actually decent Volbeat style stadium metal. 6

CadenZ: I thought only bands with members 40-plus
were allowed to sound this tired and passé. And did they really think no
one would hear the moronic “Sad But True” rip-off on “This Means War”? 3

Cobal: Plainly: This is mallcore going metal. They
say this is a Metallica covers album. Bullshit. There’s also Scorpions,
Edguy and few other unidentifiable generic songs here and there.
Something I’ll never get is all the adolescent attention upon these
guys. It doesn’t lack momentums, though. 5

Sokaris: Despite them being baby’s first metal band
this isn’t honestly that unlistenable. While that’s not a ringing
endorsement it’s basically “Black Album” worship. And Metallica’s
self-titled fifth album stands as one of the most okay albums of all
time. Listen to “This means war” and try not to think of “Sad but
true.” 5

sincan: Fucked up “Enter Sandman” opening with
lamest guitar sound that is. But I guess you can’t play harder when your
strings are made of anus hair. The vocals remind me of typical
‘murrican cool strong tribal tattoo guy except this guy sounds thin as a
rubber. If you want a cheap Metallica “Black album” rip-off, go for
this shit! Or as my GF asked “are you serious when you listen to this?”
No, I’d rather listen to the sound that occurs when pushing poop into
my ears than this crap. 2

Ironpants: I’m afraid that the loss of The Rev is
now showing for real? Not only was he an interesting drummer, but also a
pretty good songwriter. Now they have to rely on re-used riffs from all
the great bands in metal. They could have just as well released a cover
album. “This means war” made me blush on the behalf of “Sad but true”
and “Doing time” had Axl Rose calling them, reminding them that Guns n’
Roses was doing music when A7X was still in diapers. 4

Born Of Osiris: Tomorrow we die alive Born Of Osiris: Tomorrow we die alive


Habakuk: Not sure how often I’ve heard this stuff before. A bit more synthie epicness in this chugfest than usual, but well… 5

CadenZ: Well, at least I like the Oriental touches. 2

Cobal: I hate hating this. On the other hand, it’s
my pleasure to give such a low grade to such a well-played piece of
shit. The best parts are the non-metal ones. I hope they die well dead. 4

Sokaris: Deathcore with some admittedly interesting
keyboards and atmosphere. No, seriously, deathcore with atmosphere
beyond “this is the part where you mosh, brah.” Still, I’d rather just
listen to the real deal. 4

sincan: Holy fuck this was really something new! A
yelping dog on “testosterone boost” and a screamo sidekick accompanied
with breakdowns every tenth of a second. I don’t even want to say
anything more but the drum sound is horrible and it is not better when
the guitarist falls asleep and all we hear is drums and programmed
effects. “Extreme” metal, when it is too soft for being death or black,
the kids will love it. Me? I smell short hair. 2

Ironpants: Oh my, deathcore is one notch above
metalcore, but that doesn’t help much in this case. Even if I try really
hard, I can’t find anything here that helps me in everyday life.
Generic keyboard hooks blended with über-tight djenty riffs and two
singers too angry for their own good. Throw in some hints toward dubstep
and then you´re done. Almost every band in the metalcore/deathcore
genre is fucking lazy and treats the song like some designer product
that needs to be sold. That´s not how it works, kids. 3

iwrestledabearonce: Late for nothing iwrestledabearonce: Late for nothing


Habakuk: iwonderhowmanyofuswillmakeajokelikethis 3

CadenZ: icanthelpbutmakethisjoke 1

Cobal: And against all odds, this is probably the
winner of this month for me just after ilistenedtoittwice. The chick
vocals are refreshing and they do get to be br00tal at times. The
prog-slash-core way. And their weirdo stuff is nothing but amusing. Is
she hot? 8

Sokaris: So these guys went from mostly being
annoying to mostly being boring… Is that an improvement? Not a
question I want to bear wrestling with. 2

sincan: No no no, put it away, stop! How about
growing some fucking originality? Oh instead of letting a short haired
emo do all the choruses you sometimes use a girl instead? Brilliant, but
for you kids I suggest that you actually wrestle a bear or two. The
cover is ugly as fuck also. 1

Ironpants: I kind of fell in love with the new
singer’s clean voice. Too bad the rest suck more dong than the entire
cast of Glee. iamtoofuckenoldforthisshit. 4

Turisas: Turisas2013 Turisas: Turisas2013


Habakuk: The weakness. The weakness… 2

CadenZ: Way to go, Turisas, tarnishing Finland’s already stained metal legacy and reputation. Fuck you very much. 2

Cobal: Maybe I was prejudiced against this band. It
doesn’t suck as much as I thought they would. Not by far. However, the
failing grade I’m giving them is still generous. And no, I ain’t no folk
metal hater. 5

Sokaris: This is a Bette Midler cameo away from being fucking showtunes. 3

sincan: Hey, you there with the bandana and lack of
judgment! Drop the keyboard and vodka, and raise your hands in the air.
Traditional Finnish metal (keyboards, characteristic pronunciation,
lank thin hair/beards and hopeless in every aspect) meets Russia meets
Eurovision Song Cuntest. 2

Ironpants: Do you know the difference between
“Turisas2013” and a dildo made of sandpaper? Well, after about 20
minutes of fucking yourself with the dildo the sand grains wear off, and
you begin to enjoy it. 1


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
%d bloggers like this: