GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – October 2006

Audio Autopsy – October 2006

01/10/06  ||  Global Domination

Iron Maiden: A matter of life and death Iron Maiden: A matter of life and death

7.5 /10

Lord K: Maiden’s strongest effort in many, many years. This is almost better than the albums with Blaze. 7

Ripper Bendix: This stuff IS better than “Dance of
Death”… but was that really hard to do? This is a yo-yo album of
sorts. At first you’ll find it boring, then after a few spins it grows
on you and you love it, then after even more spins you’ll get bored
again and the whole shit starts from square one. Still good stuff,
though! 8

Rafal: The metal heroes are back with a brand new
album and damn me, it rocks like a motherfucker. It’s not as fresh as
“Brave New World” but at least it’s not as polished as “Dance of Death”.
One of the best true metal albums I have heard in 2 or 3 years. Iron
Maiden’s done it again. 7

Desert Eagle: It’s no “Brave New World”, but then
again, what is? “Brave New World” is. Duh, you fucking idiot. Why do I
even bother reviewing this shit, you don’t pay attention to me anymore. I
think we should review other people. 8

Syrrok: It would be insincere of me to give this
anything less than what I gave it in my review of it on this site. I
love this album and it makes me look forward to turning 53 years old. 8

The Abyss: Iron Maiden, just like Motörhead and
Slayer will always sound the same, at least at the core. While all 3
bands may experiment (well ok, 2 of the bands) their basic formula stays
the same, but I think Maiden is the only one who’s actually found
something that works. “Brave New World” and “Dance Of Death” sounds like
warm-up games with the culmination of “A matter of life and death”.
There’s some solid songwriting here and ol’ Bruce just gets better and
more passionate with each record. Sounds like Maiden’s finally grown
into their 3 guitarist suit and made it fit. 7

Goatwhore: A haunting curse Goatwhore: A haunting curse

6.5 /10

Lord K: Aggression together with some annoyingly
loud toms and killer vocals = Goatwhore. This is some decent deadly
metal with a few hints at the black metal side of things. They didn’t
sound this good when we toured with them in Japan a few years ago, nor
on the CD that they gave to me, so this is a nice improvement in all
areas. I’m slightly suprised. 7

Ripper Bendix: Great fucken stuff that is best when
the blastbeats stop. The production could be a bit better, now that
I’ve listened to the album more often, but the bottom line still is that
Goatwhore rule the fucken shit. 9

Rafal: 50% black metal, 30% death metal and 20%
groove. Totally, completely and fuckin’ surprisingly the said numbers
work well for Goatwhore. Metal release de luxe. 8

Desert Eagle: I’ve always said that the bandname
always amused me more than any music they’ve ever done. That hasn’t
changed. The music isn’t bad but damn is Goatwhore a solid name. 7

Syrrok: What exactly did these guys set out to do?
Hold on, let me research their scary webpage (hum a Goatwhore song for a
minute. Oh yeah, you can’t name ONE Goatwhore song… just hang on then).
They don’t even have a real website cuz they are “too busy touring”. I
dont’ know what it takes to appreciate this stuff, maybe that’s the
problem. Do I have to have a steady back catalogue of old Venom and
garbage like that? The guitars are all fuzzy, the vocals sound like
clouds on a rainy day (absolutely unexciting), and I guess I just hope
that these guys at least have fun doing what they’re doing. 1

The Abyss: Filthy and sludgy black metal that isn’t
afraid to slow things down to crush your bones blunt object-style
before continuing the barrage of piercing blast beats, to ensure you’ll
bleed for as long as possible. Good shit! The vocals get a bit dull in
the longrun though. 7

Suffocation: Suffocation Suffocation: Suffocation

6.1 /10

Lord K: One of all those “legendary” death metal bands who never got their break in the past and will continue not to get a break today. In this case it’s justified. Competent, but justified. 6

Ripper Bendix: Good, solid stuff from a good, solid death metal institution. Thank you 7

Rafal: It’s actually the first album of Suffocation
that I have heard in, like, 5 years or so. I can’t say I’m much of a
fan but this time the guys have produced a complete artistic release
that harks back to the old days. The old spirit of their first albums is
here, though now more brutalized and exposed to a little touch-up. It’s
good they are still around and are not going to give up. 7

Desert Eagle: Fuck fucking yeah. Let’s fucking fuck the fuck out of fucking fuck. This shit is fuck. In a good way. 8

Syrrok: I’m no fan of blastbeats that drown out
guitar riffs. That being said, I’ve never dug this stuff. I still don’t,
regardless of the “Mastodon” factor regarding whether you should like
this or not. 4

The Abyss: A classic death metal band that don’t
really do much for me. A good performance, both musically and vocally,
but something is lacking. Maybe it just takes 10 more spins. Nah, fuck
that. Can’t be arsed. 5

Mastodon: Blood mountain Mastodon: Blood mountain

5.8 /10

Lord K: I never understood the acclaimed greatness
of Mastodon, but this passes for decent music. Brann’s drumming is
ofcourse the highlight of the band. 6

Ripper Bendix: I never understood Mastodon. It’s okay stuff and I’m not really getting fucken excited here. So what? 5

Rafal: Is this one as good as the debut and
“Leviathan”? Hell yes. The quality bar is raised once again, being proof
that Mastodon have uncanny abilities to compose original music and
write interesting lyrics. Satan knows if they will manage to top this
one. 8

Desert Eagle: More like Mastobate! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh god, how hilarious. Yeah, this sucks 3

Syrrok: The ultimate band that I “should” like, but
that I just don’t. It seems like people are either on these guys’ nuts
or feel like ripping them off. I’m neither. Their music just makes me
feel nothing. 4’s also make me feel nothing. 4

The Abyss: I wished for it, but I didn’t dare get
my hopes up but oh yes, the mighty Mastodon has not only kept even pace
with the masterpiece “Leviathan” but actually surpassed it with “Blood
mountain”. This one has more of everything. More dual leads, more
strange breakdowns in strange time signatures, more drumfills, more
conceptual nerdery and most of all, more experimentation. “Bladecatcher”
is probably the wackiest song Mastodon’s ever done, bringing up bands
like Fantomás and Dillinger Escape Plan as well as Cathedral (believe it
or not), but it actually works! 9

Pitbulls In The Nursery: Lunatic Pitbulls In The Nursery: Lunatic

5.8 /10

Lord K: “Deaf producers in the studio” would be a
more appropriate moniker. Despite the irritating sound, these guys got
some cool ideas thrown around with their quite technical and playful
death metal. I take a bit of liking in it. 6

Ripper Bendix: You won’t win a fucken Oscar with
that bandname, that’s for fucken sure. The name sucks, the production
sucks, but the music is pretty cool. 6

Rafal: Despite the long-ass and cheesy moniker, the
Frogeaters can pull off a good gem of grinding death metal. I hadn’t
hoped for this so let me say that I was blown away at some points of
this release. Strong work that should satisfy every tough metalhead. 7

Desert Eagle: It’s not as bad as you probably think
it is. Stop being so narrow-minded, you asshole. Actually, I would go
as far as saying that it’s good. That’s pretty far for me. 8

Syrrok: Horrible. 1

The Abyss: One of the very few intros I’ve ever
heard that actually sounds great and makes me anxious to hear the rest
of the album. Luckily PITN (shit name, change it!) doesn’t drop the ball
but churns out 57 min of technical death metal that stays away from
constant blasting in favour of the oft forgotten groove and infuses
traces of thrash and more old school death to keep things intersting.
Pick any song at random, it’s bound to be good. Extra kudos for an
audible and good bassist. 7

Blind Guardian: A twist in the myth Blind Guardian: A twist in the myth

5.3 /10

Lord K: Bring out your swords, horses and shining
armor/penises, the gay circus is in town again. I’m sad to say that this
isn’t as bad as I have grown accustomed to when we are discussing the
guardians. But believe me, it’s in no fucken way much good either. They
should be fucken hung for writing a tune like “Skalds and shadows”. 3

Ripper Bendix: I used to be the number one BG fan,
homies, but they pretty much have lost everything that I thought was
cool about them. Does this make me a F.O.T.? A Friend-of-Thomen? Who
cares? Get back to your fucken roots you prancing gaylords. 4

Rafal: New album, new drummer, new nothing. Blind
Guardian stays the same and nothing will ever change that. Power/heavy
metal muddled up with folk/celtic passages are factors why the band is
loved by millions. Too enjoyable to omit but too long to actually
appreciate. 7

Desert Eagle: Blind fucking Guardian! FALSETTOOOOOOOOO!!!! MIDDLE EARTH!!! 9

Syrrok: Ya know I dig the sincerity that Blind
Guardian brings. Unlike 80% of the AA bands, these guys actually
BELIEVE in what they are doing. They aren’t trying to get laid, they
aren’t trying to exercise their “daddy demons” through the PA, they just
write, at least what they think, are epic tunes full of melody, flutes,
and joyous power. My tastes don’t bring me to center with this stuff
completely, but I nod my head a whole lot more for this stuff than “fuck
up everything, rush the stage!” garbage. 5

The Abyss: Ahh, I don’t know… Blind Guardian used
to be an ok band back in their day but then they lost something (and I’m
not just talking about Thomen Stauch). I mean, you can tell this is BG,
it’s just not very good. I suggest you go to Persuader or Savage Circus
if you want something better then this. 4

Panzerchrist: Battalion beast Panzerchrist: Battalion beast

5.3 /10

Lord K: I want the sound of “Room service” back
even if this new direction of Panzerchrist is ok, though a huge step
down for being Panzerchrist. More info here. 7

Ripper Bendix: What now? Death metal or black
metal? I loved the fucken growls on the last one and the funny-ass death
metal (come on, you don’t take this band serious, do you?) as well,
but what now? Everything that was cool is gone. NEXT! 5

Rafal: As everyone who’s already gotten around to
hearing this one, I’m not impressed at all. Too much of black metal
riffage and the fact that Bo’s growl has been reduced to zero (almost)
makes me think that Panzerchrist have lost “it” along the way. They are
no longer the same band who once recorded a masterpiece like
“Roomservice”. Fuckin’ shame. 6

Desert Eagle: This is Panzerchrist?! I had to check and make sure I didn’t have the wrong thing in the player, but god damn I guess it is Panzerchrist. Uh, it’s ok for black metal I guess, but it’s fucken not ok for Panzerchrist. What the fuck? 5

Syrrok: This one is just crazy. I guarantee there
was NO ONE who did not enjoy their last album. It was revolutionary in
many ways of death metal experiencing. And on the heels of something
like that they come up with THIS? I can’t help but respect what they’ve
done in the past but this album just does not do it. They are a death
metal band, with black metal tendencies, not the other way around. 4

The Abyss: While many black metal bands seem to
move more towards death metal, Panzerchrist seem to take the opposite
journey. The results? Well… it’s no “Roomservice”, let’s put it like
that. It’s not bad but it just doesn’t fit the Danes as well as the
battletank metal they used to play. A shame, and I hope they either
change back again for the next album, or find a working compromise
between the two genres. 5

Enter The Hunt: For life. 'Til death. To hell. With love. Enter The Hunt: For life. ‘Til death. To hell. With love.

5.1 /10

Lord K: Enter The Hunt wants to be more special
than they actually are. They have a decent thing going with their
half-metal and nicely executed vocals, but it’s hardly making the
revolution in music that I’m sure they are aiming for. 5

Ripper Bendix: Yay, my good friend mediocricy has
found his way into my life again. Mark my words… Mediocre stuff is WAY
worse than the worst shit because with 100% bad albums you’ll at least
find something to write about apart from “meh” or “feh”. 5

Rafal: At first I had to deal with my own sickness
towards the band. However, as the time was flowing by, I started to
appreciate them and now I can say I like this effort in small pieces.
They mix alternative rock with metal and the result is all fine as long
as you don’t repeat the album too often. 7

Desert Eagle: So, this is like radio rock. Rock
does not dominate. Why am I reviewing non-dominaty music. I will
dominate it by giving it a bad score. My dominance over undominancy is
all encompassingly dominant. 3

Syrrok: I get some serious Life of Agony vibes from
these guys. I imagine the guitarists play Les Pauls, completely
unacceptable for real metal bands, but these guys are so “outside of it
all” I’m sure. Various choruses on this album are catchy, but unless
you are going to your 18 yr old nephew’s birthday party then there’s
really no reason to have this disc in yer collection. 3

The Abyss: A very promising debut by a band that’s
already been signed to a major label (without sounding like metalcore,
despite the 3 word bandname). An impressive performance, especially by
the vocalist and the drummer. Fans of Khoma, Ocean and the more
avantgarde side of pop should love this. 8

Lamb of God: Sacrament Lamb of God: Sacrament

5.1 /10

Lord K: I never had the hots for this band but Lamb
of God’s thrashy metal is very neatly executed and quite groovy at
times. This is definitely alot better than I remember them to be. A fist
in the air to the somewhat great vocals. Pantera called though, they
want their lost material back. 6

Ripper Bendix: Anybody remember “Blackend”? They were a carbon copy of Metallica just like this here is a carbon copy of Pantera. 4

Rafal: They haven’t put anything new into this
release. What’s more, it could have been entitled “Ashes of the Wake
part II” and no one would actually notice it. The same ideas, the same
production, and even almost the same songs. “Redneck”, being probably
the best song by them in years, doesn’t help the album in any way. 4

Desert Eagle: I’ve never liked the dude’s vocals,
but I’ll be god damned if the music isn’t great on this album. I just
have to concentrate on the music and maybe the singer won’t ruin it for
me. 7

Syrrok: The Pantera for the new generation. Tough
guy stuff and some fairly catchy guitar material. Like SYL, these guys
come over HUGE live, but leave a stale taste in album form for me. I
think the production could have been much more “up front” but this is a
definite step up from the other albums they did that I can’t even name
nor care to. 6

The Abyss: You are not as good as Pantera. Give it up. 4

Harkonin: Ghanima Harkonin: Ghanima

4.8 /10

Lord K: Harkonin’s quite weak production doesn’t
help the material, which is a shame as Harkonin could do so much better
with their (most of the time) death metal. 6

Ripper Bendix: Hear hear! Now this is more like it,
hahaha. Filthy fucking shit with just the right dose of rock to keep me
interested. Thanks for brightening up my AA, lads. Wheee! 7

Rafal: Typical, raw black metal with a little touch
of rock’n’roll-ish groove. I can’t think of any references at the
moment, but I don’t have to. Followers follow, haters hate. 6

Desert Eagle: Clichéd fucking cocksmoking Jesus
worshipping black metal. They even have nature sounds. I use that shit
to go to sleep, motherfuckers! Where’s the chirping deer and swimming
plants?! FUCK. 2

Syrrok: This album has some serious “tin-can”
production, meaning it sounds like it was recorded in a one-take
rehearsal studio session. The vocals are generic, the riffs dont’ go
far in terms of furthering any groove, and… well, whatever. I’m going
deep sea fishing. 2

The Abyss: Thrash and black metal is not really a
new sound (it’s actually one of the oldest), but when it sounds as
entertaining and heartfelt as Harkonin I can’t help but give it a thumbs
up. For fans of Nifelheim and Bewitched. 6

Into Eternity: The scattering of ashes Into Eternity: The scattering of ashes

4.1 /10

Lord K: Buy a gun. Buy ammo. Find the one who’s
doing clean vocals. Shoot him. Then wound all the other members of this
pathetic fucken shit band. 2

Ripper Bendix: I must’ve done something bad in my
former life to deserve this kind of punishment, I guess. This album will
make you a flaming metrosexual. 2

Rafal: They seem to be It Dies Today lovers. No,
they are their brothers and sisters. I do not know anyone who could
handle this overdose of clean, gay vocals and sweet, girlie guitars.
Please, metalcore, get the fuck out of this world. I feel castrated and
buttfucked. 2

Desert Eagle: I listened to this over and over
again and I’m not sure if I’m really impressed or really let down. It
reminds me more of their second album which is all well and good since
that was a terrific piece. Stu is a bit nutty with his vocals at times
but the rest of the time he sounds awesome. Fuck it, I love it. 9

Syrrok: Dream-metal vocals, pretty fancy
guitarwork, and touring with Megadeth. You think with traits like that
I’d be all over it. Oh, but it’s missing the groove. I have no idea
where it is on this thing except on a few choruses. And they ARE GOOD
choruses for sure, but there is too much messin’ around with the
instruments in between them. This follows the entire disc. 5

The Abyss: A clear case of interesting ideas but
not being able to make it work in reality. The style is inspired by
Nevermore but Into Eternity have more things going for them
songwriting-wise. The growls are ok but the clean vocals sounds real
weak and aenemic in comparison to… well, most singers actually. 5

National Napalm Syndicate: Resurrection of the wicked National Napalm Syndicate: Resurrection of the wicked

3.3 /10

Lord K: More thrashy metal, this time with
complete shit vocals. The name of the band surpasses their music by far.
And it’s not even that good a name to begin with. 3

Ripper Bendix: Come on, let’s make up exciting
sounding slogans for this album! Like: “Once in a while an album appears
at the horizon – this is just such an album”. Or maybe: “This album
will leave you in your seat with your arms on the armrests and your feet
squarely on the ground”. Man, seriously, mediocricy is my enemy and
sound pretty much exactly like this. 3

Rafal: The name sounds cool to my ears. The music
is less cool. Weary thrash metal rollin’ on a steady pace leads to
nothing but boredom. It’s good for a spin or two but the more you listen
to it, the more uninspiring it gets. Put on Hatesphere instead. 5

Desert Eagle: I guess there’s always one of these
bands every month. A band that’s so good that all the other bands look
like shit in comparison. This is not that band. I’m such a tease! 4

Syrrok: High School talent show caliber material
shining through on this totally awesomely stagnant disc of farts. There
is no way these guys will trigger the resurrection of the wicked. 1

The Abyss: This band has a very American sounding
style but they have more in common with Bay Area thrash and Corrosion Of
Conformity than metalcore or NWOAHM. Fair enough, as long as you don’t
mistake this for an actual good band. It’s just too anonymous. 4

Destroy Destroy Destroy: Devour the power Destroy Destroy Destroy: Devour the power

3.1 /10

Lord K: If I have to type their moniker one more
time I’m going to shit in my neighbour’s mailbox and blame it on Syrrok.
Is Dani Filth’s abominable sister doing some vocals here? This is the
first and last time I will ever listen to these fucken morons version of
semi-metal. Make up your fucken minds as for what to play. This doesn’t
hold up, fuckers. 3

Ripper Bendix: With a bandname like that, really, what the fuck do you expect? 4

Rafal: Destroy x3 reminds me a bit of Skyfire and
early Children of Bodom, so it’s the kind of stuff to either love or
hate. The whole albums feel like one, long track cut into small pieces.
I give these guys some credit for playing cool heavy metal riffs every
now and then, but I’d hang the vocalist for the high-pitched screams if I
ever got a chance to. Die Die Die. 4

Desert Eagle: Generic generic generic. I wonder how
many reviews made the same joke joke joke? Hah! Twice! Ok, imagine a
donkey fucking you in the ass but then afterwards you get some ice
cream. That’s how I feel about this band. Like, was it really worth
getting raped by that donkey? 4

Syrrok: I dig the name and the efforts these guys
make towards thrashy stuff. Funny little keyboards here and there to
throw a new twist. But then the incoherant and completely out-of-place
vocals come into the stuff and you realize it’s just more bored midwest
kids junk. This album makes people fuck fish. 2

The Abyss: Is this Dani Filth singing? Who the hell
would be dumb enough to let him bring down yet another band? The
alternative, that there’s actually two people who sound just as shit, is
quite depressing really. Musically I’d say this is like a happy pop
band trying to write death/thrash/black metal. It’s like listening to
Sabbat (UK) but without the actual talent nor ideas. In other words,
fucking unbearable. 2

Behold... The arctopus: Nano-nucleonic cyborg summoning Behold… The arctopus: Nano-nucleonic cyborg summoning

1.8 /10

Lord K: This hybrid of death metal, jazz-shit, bullshit arrangements and what not, is shit.
I don’t care if they are the best fucken musicians since Leif Edling
(but they are not), this is just irritating and makes me wanna
force-feed the ones responsible with a horde of angry bees. At least
there are no vocals or we’d end up with a zero-rating. 1

Ripper Bendix: Tedious, obscure shit. There’s more
swearwords in my detailed review somewhere on this site in the future,
but for now, just know that this stuff here will give you a headache, or
airborne AIDS. 1

Rafal: Maybe I’m too close-minded but I don’t seem
to find anything but constant instrument wankery on this piece of crap.
Music for music’s sake. 1

Desert Eagle: So last month was Sleep Terror and
this month is this shit. It’s hard to get into but it is rather
intersting. It’s probably a little more coherent and structured compared
to Sleep Terror, so that’s good. If you like weird instrumental
metalish bands then this shit is for you. 6

Syrrok: Art school metal is so much fun to listen
to, huh? You have all the wacky fender-bendy riffs, then like a
blastbeat, ooohhh… and then a nice jazz solo, and then… OH, FUCK YOU! 1

The Abyss: I like wanking as much the next guy, but
sometimes it just gets too much and you want a bit of variation. This
band obviously has no clue and is about as enjoyable as a handjob by
Freddy Kreuger. 1

It Dies Today: Sirens It Dies Today: Sirens

1.8 /10

Lord K: They must die today. Ripper will steal this line from me (becoz great geniuses think alike), I’m sure. 2

Ripper Bendix: THEY must fucken die today, and I am
very sure there won’t be any fucken SIRENS because nobody will be arsed
to call the god damn ambulance. 1

Rafal: Is it supposed to be a joke? If so, then
it’s very weak ‘cause I’m not laughing. Fuck cheesy emo-core and the
kids who listen to it. Die right away. 2

Desert Eagle: It may indeed die today but if it
does, then it does really late into the night, and of natural causes.
Like a fucken bitch. A flock of seagulls wearing emo bitch.2

Syrrok: Into a pillow filled with black feathers.
Tears of sorrow only negotiable through 18 viewings of “Nightmare before
Christmas”. Then we put on tight black jeans and smoke in a cemetery
until daylight comes. 2

The Abyss: You wanna know how much this sucks? My
Dying Bride released a fantastic album 1993 called “Turn loose the
swans”. It Dies Today has a song called “Turn loose the doves”. This
crap is enough to make God reconsider the Day of Judgement and just cast
us all into hell and be done with it. If that happens, you know who to
blame. 2

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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