GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – October 2005

Audio Autopsy – October 2005

01/10/05  ||  Global Domination

The Project Hate MCMXCIX: Armageddon march eternal The Project Hate MCMXCIX: Armageddon march eternal

9.6 /10

Syrrok: Read the review I did with Chazzle. This is my favorite chunk of music that I can remember. There’s no stopping this band. 10

Farlus: Was there any doubt this was going to be my
pick of album of the year? Jesus Christ, the guys have outdone
themselves again. Somehow J continues to get better, growl deeper, and
sound more demonic in general. Valiant effort by Jo with her vocals.
Much more variation in her style this time around and that’s a great
thing. The composition on this album is top-notch, with superb attention
to detail. Perfect blend of groove and brutality (and this album is far
more heavy than any previous effort, listen to songs 4, 5, and 6 for
proof). I think what really ties this one together and makes it above
and beyond all the previous ones is (surprisingly) the bass playing of
Michael. The guy is a monster and plays just some wicked, wicked stuff
on this recording. There’s a part on “Bleeding Eyes of a Breeding Whore”
that gives me goosebumps every time. A fuckin’ bass player gives me
goosebumps. Anyway, if you haven’t heard this shit, get it now, and
immediately buy it when it comes out. Make sure you listen to it with
your headphones too, in order to get the entire experience. It’s a must,
and this album is a must. 10

Desert Eagle: Well they did it. TPH managed to make
an album that surpassed the previous in every way possible. However,
giving it a 10 would mean they could never do better so I can’t give it a
10. I know the next album will shit all over this one which is what I
love about this band. FUCK YEAH! 9

The Abyss: One of the best albums of the year, I’m
sure. Actually I’m not sure, I’ve listened to this album countless times
and there are still new riffs, vocal melodies, scraps of lyrics or drum
fills that surface with each listen. Effectively mending all the
shortcomings of previous albums, this blend of death, drum ‘n bass, goth
and… stuff, shows the TPH progression curve pointing the same way as my
cock. Straight up! And if anyone suspects I’m just brown-nosing because
Lord K runs this site, fuck off and stop disrespecting my integrity.! 9

Derek: I’m not even going to pretend to be unbiased
here. I have nothing but good things to say about this album; it’s
everything you know – or should know – about The Project Hate, taken to a
new level. The production is fucking amazing, and the mixing shows the
fingerprints of a master. This is how you fucking make music. To my
friends in The Project Hate I say excellent fucking job; this is a
masterpiece of brutal music. I’d like to think Mieszko would be proud. 10

Ripper Bendix: This is a totally different caliber
than TPH’s previous releases. It’s not the same stadium, it’s not even
the same fucken sport. This album is out of this fucken world! I wonder
how anyone could create something this complex without going completely
crazy. This baby will spin in my cd player until I fucken die, or until
something better comes along…which means NEVER. Everything on this album
is perfect. The production, the musicianship, everything. If you don’t
see this, you’re either fucken blind, deaf as a lamp post, or both. Or
probably affiliated with Monstrosity. 10

Exodus: Shovel headed kill machine Exodus: Shovel headed kill machine

6.8 /10

Syrrok: If this band was called Mexodus and wrote
instrumental themes influenced by the sound of illegal Mexican
immigrants leaving California, I would care. I don’t DIG Shovel Headed
Kill Machine. But 7

Farlus: Last time I checked, it wasn’t 1985, but
Exodus sure as hell play like it is. These guys are fucking relentless.
Great album to trass ‘em all to dess. 7

Desert Eagle: Hearing this back to back with
Children of Bodom really just shows me how shitty Exodus are. They’re
like an incredibly lame version of Bodom with even cheesier lyrics. Ouch
guys, ouch. I do not care who’s been around longer! Time to give it up,
fuckers. 3

The Abyss: Are there ANY original members left in
Exodus anymore? Fuck it, who cares when the music sound as nut-kicking
as this? Not boundary-breaking, just nut-kicking. Gary Holt still hasn’t
lost his touch and deals pissed off thrash riffs like there’s no
tomorrow, energeticly backed by the rest of the band (and especially
Paul Bostaph on the drums). The album title sucks a lot of Bay Area
cock, though.. 6

Derek: Wow, what can I say… I expected nothing from
these old bastards; especially considering the rather low calibre of
releases from older bands (I don’t care how legendary you are; when you
start releasing tiresome, rehashed solo shit like Nuclear Assault, or
cast-off Simple Plan songs, you suck!). Exodus, despite losing a huge
chunk of the band after “Tempo of the Damned”, have stepped up to the
plate, and in a big way. This album fucking kills. This album defines
thrash; fresh blueprints from the old master engineers. Buy it, play it,
love it. FUCK YEAH. 9

Ripper Bendix: Nice to see some fucken consistency
here. Exodus still sound like they are supposed to – which is a fucken
miracle since there’s only one original member left after all the mess
that preceded this release. I tip my hat to you, and that’s all you
gotta fucken know. 9

Old Man's Child: Vermin Old Man’s Child: Vermin

6.6 /10

Syrrok: Old Man’s Child makes My Two Dads look like
Paul Reiser’s pinnacle…old man’s child also makes young boy’s penis
look like middle aged asshole. But I enjoy the production and many of
the riffs. As I do a sundae after a blowjob. 8

Farlus: Is this supposed to be black metal? If so,
add another black metal album to the few I like. The vocals are shitty
at times, and the synth sounds like something out of the 80s, but
otherwise these guys deliver some punishing tracks and don’t waste time
doing so. Most of the songs check in at under five minutes so they don’t
get boring. Solid effort. 7

Desert Eagle: While it is disappointing to see
Barker go, OMC managed to do just fine without him. This is one of the
few black metal bands I can really get into. Loaded with melody and sick
guitars (SIIIICK) this shit really works. 8

The Abyss: Oh Galder, what have you done? your time
in Dimmu Borgir seems to have rubbed off in a BIG way! Your previous
albums have always entertained me because it sounded like DB, only
slightly heavier, but now it has crossed the line. That’s it, our
engagement’s off! 4

Derek: Although this is pretty good, this sounds
like it could easily be a Dimmu Borgir album. Personally, “In Defiance
of Existence” was a lot more unique. This album is quite good, but it
just sounds too close to Galder’s main band. The lack of clean vocals is
a big plus, however. 6

Ripper Bendix: Clean guitar intros are overrated,
but as long as some sort of Myrkskogian massacre follows afterwards I am
a happy fucker. After a furiously satisfying start, this stuff gets a
little generic for my taste. A bit like Zyklon or the aforementioned
Myrkskog at best, and a bit like Dimmu Borgir on coke at worst. There
aren’t MANY bad moments though, and even though this album doesn’t pull
the salami off my bread like a fucken black metal tractor, it sure is
damn fucken nice. 7

Cathedral: The garden of unearthly delights Cathedral: The garden of unearthly delights

5.8 /10

Syrrok: Cathedral should PRAY for some talent! This is one GARDEN that could use watering, because these riffs are DRY! 3

Farlus: Fellow staffer Blas says these guys are a
mix of Sabbath and Celtic Frost so I’ll just go ahead and agree with
him. They play a wide variety of music styles, which gets a thumbs up in
my book. “Corpsecycle” is a bit too poppy for me but besides that, I
dig the album. The 26 minute song didn’t grate on my nerves too badly
until about 20 minutes into it. I guess that’s better than it could have
been. 6

Desert Eagle: Oh boy, I really love it when a band
starts a song with fucking irritating noise. The music itself is almost
as irritating. It’s like doom punk rock. Gayyyy. 3

The Abyss: You can always trust Cathedral to give
you that special “I’m high without smoking anything” vibe that makes you
wanna put on a striped knitted sweater, flares and dance around like a
hippie in your living room. “Tree of Life and Death” invites a REAL doom
dance and “Upon Azreal’s Wings” has a surprising Morbid Angel-like
heaviness to it. Strong stuff, guys. 7

Derek: As soon as I found out that the retail
pressings of this album would smell like apples when you played them, I
have been desperately trying not to make some lame joke like “smells
like apples; sounds like shit”. And then these assholes had to go and
make a damn good album like this! Fuck. I so want to hate this stoner
doom stuff but, man, when you do it this well… Respect due. 7

Ripper Bendix: Oooooooh, I’m getting 70’s vibes
from this. Kinda like sad, drunk Spiritual Beggars. The title track is
26 fucken minutes long and Lee Dorrian fucken dominates. This is a
pretty damn multifaceted album. At least too multifaceted to be labelled
“doom metal”. A multi-purpose album. Either you party and dance like a
zombie, or you sit home alone and cry, or you empty three bottles of
Absinthe and kill yourself. 9

Nominon: Recremation Nominon: Recremation

5.8 /10

Syrrok: Is there a correlation between absolutely
shitty metal bands and naming shit (monikers/albums) with words that end
in “tion”? That’s a stupid point. But this is a stupid album. Couldn’t
get past the 4th track. 2

Farlus: This would have been my top pick for AA
this month if TPH hadn’t been on here. This album is fucking killer. Old
school, groovy death metal. Why haven’t I heard of this band until now?
Stellar recording. “Sickening” is, well… sick. Give this one a listen
immediately. 9

Desert Eagle: OK let us think of an acronymn for
that band name. Well, let me anyways. OK uh, shit, forget it. If those
guys can’t put that much thought into creating music why should I put
that much into reviewing them. TORCHED. 3

The Abyss: Oh yeah! Death thrash to the MAX (and
I’m not talking about Cavalera)! This is cool shit, a strong 80’s vibe
and a raw production that does the even rawer songs justice. Like The
Crown’s unruly and drunk younger brother, Nominon should be a staple at
every party where there’ll be beer involved. 7

Derek: How the fuck do you recremate something? The
only possible way you could reburn a pile of ashes is to have fucked it
up in the first place. Maybe they should have called the album “Sloppy
Corpse Disposal”. So then I could have said “maybe they should have
called the album “Sloppy Songs Played By Idiots”, and then’d you’d
laugh, and I’d laugh, and Nominion would die a little inside. But no,
they ruined that for me too! 5 [note from Tash: or perhaps they were deathing up the word “recreation”.]

Ripper Bendix: You give me good death metal, me love you long time. 9

Centinex: World declension Centinex: World declension

5.8 /10

Syrrok: Everytime I hear the name “Centinex”, I can
only think of one thing. A vacuum cleaner. Or a residential home
developer. [note from Tash: that would be 2 things then, sweetie Definitely NOT good metal. 2

Farlus: Is this the first band we’ve done two
albums for in AA? At least, I think we did these guys in AA already.
Anyway, it’s some average death/black stuff. Some cool parts that make
me tap my feet and nod my head, but other than that, studying for a test
is more interesting than the music. 5

Desert Eagle: Even though I could have sworn I just
reviewed this band a few months ago, I don’t mind doing it again.
They’re still better than most other bands I have to review for AA. Some
really slick death metal. 7

The Abyss: Pretty vital for a band celebrating its
15th brithday! Centinex play balls-on death metal in the slightly more
melodic vein (think Dimension Zero, not In Flames), blessedly free of
keyboards or drum loops. Excellent execution, nice raw production but
the songwriting still isn’t 100% (more like 70%).. 6

Derek: I don’t know why, but for some reason I
thought these guys were a flamming power metal band… Other than the fact
that these guys really know how to play, there’s nary an ounce of power
metal to be found here. To these ears, this album is a very good mix of
black and death metal, and some wicked production. The drums sound
triggered, but – for all you guys who get their panties in a bunch when
people point it out – they prove that it’s not always a bad thing. This.
Shit. Kills. 7

Ripper Bendix: If you put any more middle
frequencies in the mix I’ll hunt you down and punch you! Speaking of
punch: the songs have a lot of, let’s call it “punch potential”, but due
to the weird production they don’t really get the chance to take a
swing, which is fucking sad because this blacky-thrashy baby is right up
my alley, and perfect for some nice fucken anti-social behaviour on my
part. Yes, that was ONE sentence. …and Tash is right proud of you. 8

Swallow the Sun: Ghosts of loss Swallow the Sun: Ghosts of loss

5.8 /10

Syrrok: Even though 3 of their members are
currently dying of AIDS (sorry. I meant LIVING with AIDS) it’s great
that they don’t let their low t-cell counts affect their music. Keep on
swallowing, boys. We’re tuggin’ for you. 5

Farlus: I need to listen to this album some more,
but I dig it to begin with. It’s some cool atmospheric metal, great
stuff to chill out to. It reminds me of Opeth sometimes, My Dying Bride
at others. It’s very doomy in some songs as well. This is probably
something you have to hear many times to truly appreciate everything
that’s going on. 7

Desert Eagle: I really want to like these guys
because they have a couple of really awesome songs, and lots of awesome
parts in all of their songs, but god DAMN are they boring. They have a
tendency to drag things out way too long and just kill the songs. If
they just cut the songs a little shorter it would be a lot better. 6 [note from Tash: and Desert Eagle wins the prize for how many times one can use “songs” in 3 sentences.

The Abyss: The best melancholic doom death to come
out of Finland since Rapture. Their debut album was promising but lacked
in the songwriting department. This has sucessfully been fixed for
“Ghosts of Loss” and I’m very happy with the result. Great music to
herald the oncoming autumn. Plus, boobs on the cover never hurt. 7

Derek: These guys like Opeth, and so do I. So, with that said, I think I’ll go listen to some fuckin’ Opeth now. 6

Ripper Bendix: The album title made me think OPETH
and indeed, I wasn’t disappointed, since “Ghost Of Loss” is strictly in
line with the Opeth formula. Drawn out songs, slow as fuck, some
aggressive deathy stuff here and there, and more pathos than you can
shake a stick at. Too bad I can’t stand that kind of stuff. 4

Children of Bodom: Are you dead yet? Children of Bodom: Are you dead yet?

5.6 /10

Syrrok: COB do their part to tittyfuck the fuck outta you fucks! Read my review, damn it! 9

Farlus: I really hate this band, but just for you,
the loyal GD reader, I’ll listen to the entire album. – 37 minutes later
– Yep, they still suck. 2

Desert Eagle: They’re kind of popular right now,
correct? OK so this sucks then. Hah! I really HOPE someone says that. I
don’t know why anyone would listen to the uncool loser kids. Trust me
fellas, I kick ass, therefore I know what else kicks ass. For example:
this new Bodom kicks ass. 8

The Abyss: Call me when you’re done masturbating on guitars and keyboards and are ready to write good music. 3

Derek: I actually really like these guys, but the
keyboards are really fucking over the top. Picture a snarling, bad-ass
biker, 6’8”, with a “BORN TO RIDE… AND KILL” tattoo on his head. Then
picture him on a pink harley with “Badgrrrl” on the side. Yeah, that’s
what the keyboards do for me here, and it’s not right! The keyboards
aren’t even that bad, but they’re completely emasculating in this kind
of music. The gay-O-meter reads a 6

Ripper Bendix: No, I am not dead yet, thanks for
asking. Have you split up yet? Sure, Alexi Laiho is one hell of a
guitarist and the skill level is top-notch, but nevertheless, the whole
concept of COB is very unappealing to me. Apart from that, the keyboards
get on my fucken nerves. Seriously: Is this a teenie band? Does this
appeal to Nightfish elves as well? Probably. I am fucken pissed because I
can’t rip into this album the way I want to because it’s too good for a
bitchslap – strictly speaking about the technical aspect here. Guitar
and keyboard wanking and a certain holterdipolter approach to appeal to
the masses is all I see here, but it is good enough for most, I guess. 6

God Forbid: IV The constitution of treason God Forbid: IV The constitution of treason

5.5 /10

Syrrok: GOD FORBID you make a metal album that
doesn’t sound like it drizzled out of Dennis Miller’s fleshy cunthammer.
Let me know when you go on the “OMG we’re talented!” tour with
EyeHateGod and Godsmack. 3

Farlus: Never was a big fan of these guys and this
album does nothing to change that. I imagine if you liked them before,
you’ll like this album too. 3

Desert Eagle: You know I can tell this is good
shit, but I’m just not into it. Maybe it’s the singer or the core
qualities of the band, I don’t know. 5

The Abyss: American kids have no fucking taste in
music. Why listen to God Forbid when At The Gates, The Haunted, Arch
Enemy and other melo-death bands have done the same thing, only better,
and with a lot more conviction? Still, God Forbid aren’t the worst band
in this second generation, not by far. 5

Derek: Another one of those bands I’ve been hearing
about for several years that I never gave more than a passing
listening. I’m man enough to own up to my mistakes, and ignoring God
Forbid for so long was definitely one of them. But nevermind that, if
this band only ever released a single album, and this was it, I’d be a
happy fuckin’ metalhead. This is quality modern metal; hardcore, new
wave of American heavy metal, whatever the fuck you want to call it –
this shit slays. Bitter, angry, loud, groovy music; what’s not to like!?
8

Ripper Bendix: THAT’S what I’m talking about.
Fucken hell this shit rocks. Sure, God Forbid are one of those newer
bands you might even see on MTV at some point (I did), but only this
time it doesn’t mean that they are bad. God Forbid rock ze shit. Look, I
made a rhyme! 9

Hatesphere: The sickness within Hatesphere: The sickness within

5.5 /10

Syrrok: Hatesphere make disdainpyramid look like rancorcube. Don’t get me started! 5

Farlus: Thrash thrash thrash. You like thrash?
Here’s some thrash. My opinion of these guys hasn’t changed since I
heard their last album. Take it as you will. 5

Desert Eagle: Melodic death meets hardcore vocals.
TRAIN WRECK. I’ve run out of witty things to say about how bad hardcore
is. It’s the syphilis of the music world. Slowly, embarassingly killing
off everything that is pure and good about music. 3

The Abyss: Can’t recall if Hatesphere sounded this
much like Pantera before, but I can’t say I mind it much right now.
Never been crazy about Pantera but there are far worse bands to draw
your inspiration from, let me tell you. So, mix Pantera and some
nameless thrash act (they’re a dime a dozen) and you get Hatesphere. Do
you get a high grade? Nah, not really. 5

Derek: When a band I’ve never heard of – aside from
the insane rantings of our glorious Lord K – can release a quality
album like this, it really makes me hate shitty grind bands all the
more. Right here, Hatesphere have put together an incredibly tight,
brutal album. “But it’s only thrash” some pseudo-cultured grindcore
connoisseur (which is derived from the Swahili word for “loud-mouthed,
ignorant cocksucker”) might say; fuck that, deathy thrash like this is
all you fucking need. The music murders, and you can actually understand
the vocals. This is all you fucking need. End of fucking story. 8

Ripper Bendix: Nice and neo-thrashy. Better than
average and aggressive enough to catch my interest, but I’ve heard a bit
too much of that stuff lately so I’m not exactly slapping my dick out,
jerking like a maniac. But I am pretty damn close to it! 7

Soulfly: Dark ages Soulfly: Dark ages

5 /10

Syrrok: Soulfly make Puya look like putas! I like 3 out of the 15 songs, so. 3

Farlus: It took the band five albums, but I think
Cavalera has finally realized the potential this band could have if they
stopped trying to be Sepultura. “Dark Ages” is a very appropriate
title, because this record is far darker, heavier, and faster than the
previous efforts could ever be. It’s Max, so he still delves into the
tribal shit (which I like, by the way) but overall if you’ve been
keeping up with Soulfly this long you should be surprised and pleased by
this album. Nice job. 8

Desert Eagle: It’s been how long and this band are
still making the same exact songs over and over again? Oh man,
government sucks. Max is such a douche. 2

The Abyss: I wasn’t alone in actually getting my
hopes up a little for “Dark Ages” since it was rumoured to contain
material reminiscent of Max’s Sepultura days. Was I disappointed? Yes,
and no. While not even close to “Roots” or “Chaos A.D.”, this is by far
Soulfly’s best album (admittedly, that’s not saying much) due to the
aggro level being raised and the the ethno bullshit being lowered. Those
hippie-jam pop songs at the end sound awful, though. 5

Derek: I’m almost counting on everyone else saying
something like “Max should get back with Sepultura”. Fuck that. I’ve
liked every Soulfly album to date, although I will admit each had
moments of weakness. “Dark Ages” is easily the best of the bunch;
there’s a heavy “Roots” vibe to it, but with a much more evolved touch.
The heaviness and foreign music elements really work on this album. The
heavy religious overtones are also a lot less heavy-handed, which makes
this atheist very happy. The album may be called “Dark Ages”, but this
is easily the most evolved Soulfly release ever. Let Sepultura keep on
clunking out sloppy albums with an ex-bartender on vocals; Max just
proved Soulfly are capable of bringing the shit. 9

Ripper Bendix: Even though it’s an improvement over the last release, I still don’t see what’s so fucken cool about Soulfly. 3

Infinited Hate: Heaven termination Infinited Hate: Heaven termination

5 /10

Syrrok: Infinited isn’t a word, you fucking idiots.
Before you terminate heaven, you might want to set your sights a little
lower and terminate your Dutch to English Dictionary. 3

Farlus: I was playing this album on low volume, and
it sounded really cool, so I turned it up. That was a mistake. This
album is pretty raw and it has its moments, but the vocals ruin it for
me. If you can’t growl, don’t fucking do it – simple as that. This guy
sounds like a grandma who has lived on a steady diet of unfiltered
cigarettes and whiskey for 50 years. His voice aggravates the piss out
of me. Otherwise the album is pretty good. Death metal, plain and
simple. 5

Desert Eagle: This shit is so bad that it actually
broke my speakers when I put it on. I really wish I was kidding, but
this is the truth. So if the band is reading this, you owe me new
speakers. 2

The Abyss: Infinited. Is that a real word? [note
from Tash: no, it isn’t.] Maybe in Dutch-English it is… Thankfully, the
trio (consisting of Sinister members) play and sing so fast you can’t
really tell what their grasp of the English language is like. With an
album named “Heaven Termination”, I thought this’d be black metal but
instead it’s a pretty decent mix of old and new death metal with, I
believe, two singers. Not that you can really tell, since he and she
sound pretty much the same. Ok album, but it won’t get much playtime in
my stereo. 5

Derek: I don’t really have much to say; pretty
decent death metal. It doesn’t suck, but doesn’t inspire much of a
reaction in me. I’m sure they’re good live. 6

Ripper Bendix: I didn’t know the word “infinited”
existed at all, and I STUDY fucken English, but anyway. This shit kicks
my ass like Pestilence and I fucken love that! A LOT. 9

Nocturnal Rites: Grand illusion Nocturnal Rites: Grand illusion

4.5 /10

Syrrok: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! SILENT
NIGHT, HOLY SHIT! Grand Illusion makes Use Your Illusion 1 look like
Use Your Illusion 2! 3

Farlus: Just your average power metal. Nothing too
exciting, nothing that makes it stand out as better or worse than what’s
already out there. It’s so average that I can’t even think of anything
witty to say about it. Wait, I just thought of something. My nocturnal
emissions are better musicians than Nocturnal Rites. There ya go. 4

Desert Eagle: These poor bastards don’t stand a
chance around these parts and that’s a shame. What we have here is well
written power metal and you fools just don’t understand. Hey, they have a
song called “Fools Never Die”. I think I just used the word “fools”
because I’m listening to that song now. Weird. 7

The Abyss: Always had a good eye on these power
metallers ever since they changed vocalist to old man Johnny. They’re
one of the very few power metal bands I like, mostly due to the
excellent mix of melodies and some actual heaviness in the riffs. It’s
catchy without becoming cheesy. This album is no exception (though not
their best effort, that’s “Shadowland”). 6

Derek: Downtuned guitars: check. Rockin’ solos:
check. Generall bad-ass music: check. The voice of Rob Halford: oh shit,
Rob’s in that other band! Random interchangeable power metal vocalist,
rounded up from a Dungeons and Dragon’s convention: check! This album
isn’t even all that bad; I quite like most of it. However, since this is
power metal, I’m required to inform you that this album might give you
syphilis – or whatever it is that keeps chicks away. 6

Ripper Bendix: HAIRSPRAYHARDROCKVAGINAMETAL!!!
CURSE YOU FOR MAKING ME LISTEN TO THIS! CURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSE YOU! CURSE
YOU TO FUCKEN HELL! ARRRRGH! 1

Animosity: Empires Animosity: Empires

3.8 /10

Syrrok: If Barry Bonds joined Vendetta and dipped
his penis in strawberry ice cream, this lucious brand of athletic metal
would be the result. 2

Farlus: I thought these guys were cool, then I
looked at their pictures on their website and they look like they should
be in Limp Bizkit or a metalcore band. We all know image is way more
important than the music. Seriously though, they play some decent tunes
and definitely sound way better than they look. I guess I’ll have to
drive the images out of my mind and just listen. 4

Desert Eagle: It’s only 9 tracks? Thank GOD. Shit this sucks. I mean I don’t even know what to say. Completely unoriginal and boring. 2

The Abyss: Brutal US death. You’ve heard it before,
I’ve heard it before, only the nu metal kids haven’t heard it before
and if they had, I’m sure they’d be as unimpressed as I am! 3

Derek: One-word band name, one-word album name, and
most of the song titles are a single word as well. Maybe I’m too harsh,
but I’m not impressed… The theme for this band seems to be “simple”. It
works, to an extent, but I’m at the point in my life where simply
listening to a band that plays solid, by-the-numbers music – of any
particular style – just does nothing for me. I listened to this entire
album and was completely unmoved. I’d say “sorry” or something to that
effect if I could

have that hour of my life back… 4

Ripper Bendix: Hearing stuff like this feels like a
fucken holiday for me, especially after sitting through a fucken
Soulfly album. The snare drum is a bit loud in the mix, but after a song
or two it probably won’t bother you too much anymore. I love the
growl/screech vocal shit and this album left me with a fat grin and
bleeding eardrums. 8

Throwdown: Vendetta Throwdown: Vendetta

3.8 /10

Syrrok: throwdown could best be described as the
juicy sloshing sound of Kenny Chesney fucking a gelding palomino in the
mouth while pretending to be angry about the lack of media coverage
surrounding his breakup with Bridget Jones’s sourpussy + a double bass
pedal. 1

Farlus: Pretty much what you’d expect from a band
called “Throwdown”. Hatebreed-esque metalcore stuff. Not as retarded as
most of the rest of its kin, as it can be pretty damn heavy (and doesn’t
feature whiny vocals), but it is what it is. 3

Desert Eagle: FUCK THIS SHIT. I TAKE A HUGE STEAMING DUMP ON IT. 0

The Abyss: Fuck me with a fist, this is actually
hardcore that doesn’t bore me to tears!! Throwdown (despite a very homo
name) offer some old school tunes with enough of a thrash edge to ensure
that you feel as though you’ve taken a long walk on a short pier
wearing cement shoes. “Burn” has a drive that almost reminds me of The
Haunted, and that’s a fucking compliment.

Capice? 6

Derek: Considering the band’s name, and their
hardcore tough-guy overtones, I wasn’t too keen on checking this band
out. I expected some sort of Hatebreed rip-off but I was actually
somewhat surprised. Yeah, there’s the Zeus style production and thick,
chunky breakdowns, but there are also solos and generally more technical
music than I would have expected. As much as I wanted to use this
band’s inclusion in AA as an excuse to bash shitty hardcore bands
catering to the violent masses of

repressed homosexual meatheads, I can’t. Throwdown laid down some groovy
shit on this album. The anger sounds real and the tunes are fucking
good. 7

Ripper Bendix: Sounds like hardcore, looks like
hardcore. Is hardcore. Doesn’t stick out from the mass but is good
enough to move a couple of asses live. Seriously, what more could ya
possibly add? A recipe for potato pancakes? Ah okay: 6 med potatoes,
peeled. 2 eggs, beaten. 1/4 cup flour. 1/8 teaspoon baking powder. 1
teaspoon salt. dash pepper. 1/2 cup milk. 3 Tablespoons melted butter.
Peel potatoes and shred in food processor; put in colander and squeeze
out as much water as possible. Return to food processor with blade in
bottom and add other ingredients while processing. Fry on hot griddle
and serve hot with maple syrup. 6

Kylesa: To walk a middle course Kylesa: To walk a middle course

2.7 /10

Syrrok: Forget Kylesa… did you hear what Cartman said? HAHAHAHHAHFAHFOIAHFOIAHF OAIF YOU HAVE A VERY BLAND NAME AND ALBUM. 2

Farlus: For fuck’s sake. You’ve got to be kidding me. Worst shit I’ve ever heard. 1

Desert Eagle: Oh holy lord is this awful. Hahaha oh
man, it’s rare that I actually start laughing out loud at a band’s
utter shitness. Some douche was just yelling in the GAYEST VOICE EVER.
Now he’s talking. Or is that a chick? I dunno, PISS. 2

The Abyss: Sometimes they get a Mastodon-like
groove going with the guitars locking in with the drums in a cool way.
At other times things veer off into post-hardcore territory and the
whole thing is dangerously close to collape. The dual vocals of Laura
and Corey take some getting used to, but overall I think this is a band
that can grow into something I can dig. As for now it’s just interesting
on a technical level, and 48 min is way too long to keep my attention
on technical merit alone. 4

Derek: The vocals absolutely suck. They remind me
of a pissed off 9-year old yelling that he wants his ice cream, but his
mean parents won’t give him any ice cream… but they give his little
bother ice cream. And he’s the one that started it, GOD DAMNIT GIMME MY
ICE CREAM!!! Eh, it’s OK. A better singer would be nice. 5

Ripper Bendix: To walk a middle course between awful and god-awful. 2

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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