Audio Autopsy – November 2011

Audio Autopsy – November 2011

01/11/11  ||  Global Domination

Blood Red Throne: Brutalitarian regime Blood Red Throne: Brutalitarian regime


Lord K: I fucken love Blood Red Penis. One of the
few death metal bands who actually understand the importance of having
an audible bass in the mix too… The production is ace and the brutality
displayed is nothing but excellent. Death metal supremacy never grows
old! 8

InquisitorGeneralis: Heavy and groovy death metal
is what you get here. Nothing really blows my mind but I am a fine of
the style in general so I like most of what I hear… but nothing is
loved. 5

Habakuk: I really like these guys, when they stay
on the right side of the thin line between stale and awesome. Here it’s
somewhat of a mixed bag, but the Pestilence cover at the end definitely
reminds me why I dig their sound so much. You get what you pay for
here, but I probably won’t pay. 7

CadenZ: Yeah, it’s death metal. Yeah, it’s
competent. Yeah, it’s groovy and meaty. Yeah, something’s still missing.
It must be penises. 6

Revenant: Blood Red Throne, or the Throners as I
like to call them (because it rhymes with boners, which is what I get
when I listen to their records), certainly know all the right
ingredients to making a quality death metal album and this is no
exception. Quality riffing, ace jazzy bass, hint of black and just the
right amount of technical brutality make it this month’s winner for me. 8

Smalley: I wrote off BRT a while ago, but I actually kinda dig this groovy, traditional DM disc. 7

Opeth: Heritage Opeth: Heritage


Lord K: We all saw this coming. Goodbye metal, welcome full-on prog. I like this a bit, but I like Opeth’s metal moments more. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: I swear to the God that most
of you don’t believe in that I am not trolling here…but this album
sucks. I’m sorry, but I always loved Opeth for the mix of melody, folk, and
heavy elements. I respect Mike for following his heart to the land of
progressive rock on this one, but I’m not going lie and say I like all. 70’s prog rock was done best in the 70’s. 3

Habakuk: ‘Lo and behold, as soon as a Opeth give up on the metal and go Hawkwind on us, I actually start to enjoy them. 8

CadenZ: An experimental prog journey, with quite a
lot of amazing material and some (un-intentional?) schizophrenia.
Although the songs may be a little disjointed, the album as a whole is
another great Opeth piece. Looking forward to the next installment. 8

Revenant: 70’s prog rock that probably wouldn’t be
in this edition if it wasn’t Opeth. Way too mellow for my tastes, but
has the potential to be a grower. 6

Smalley: I view this as a stepping-stone album
like, say, “The number of the beast”; it doesn’t quite reach its full
potential, but it’ll still pave the way for a change to better things in
the future. Plus, it is pretty good on its own, and we needed a change
after the tired “Watershed” anyway. 8

Mastodon: The hunter Mastodon: The hunter


Lord K: Said to be their most “accessible” album to
date, Mastodon’s back with “The hunter”. I could never get into these
guys in the past, but this one works a little better even though I am
not fully convinced. I have to applaud them for having a unique style
though. Not that it helps to make me a fan, but hey… It’s always
something. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: “The Hunter” is much leaner
than “Crack the Skye”, and has some nice heavy moments to go along with
the easy, proggy stuff. I am a huge fan of the band and not disappointed
one bit; it’s a damn fine album. 8

Habakuk: Combining pretty much all their prior
directions, and putting a slight focus on their sludgy side, Mastodon
continue down Accessibility Road. 8

CadenZ: So, the most over-rated band on Earth
decides to go accessible on our asses? Well, works about as fine as all
their previous albums. Meaning average. 5

Revenant: Mastodon Lite fails to wow me in the same
manner as their heavier stuff. Not a fan of the vocals either, but
there is definite quality to what they do. 6

Smalley: Like K, Mastodon never really scratched my
itch, and “The hunter” is no exception; they just have this forced
feeling of quirky metal for the sake of being quirky too much, and their
vocalists don’t satisfy. Love Brann’s drumming, though. 6

Machine Head: Unto the locust Machine Head: Unto the locust


Lord K: I don’t get the hype. MH’s a good band,
sure, but they also have a tendency to write too long songs that go
nowhere – and that’s no different on “Unto the locust”. The children’s
choir in “Who we are” is a nice touch though. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: It seems to be like every song
on here is trying to recreate “Master of Puppets”. It’s not a bad
album, but I still like “Burn My Eyes” and “From Ashes to Empires to
Dicks to Vaginas” a bit more. 6

Habakuk: Vio-lence! Vio-lence! 5

CadenZ: You know when you’re in the mood for a
blowjob? When you just plain want some head. And what you get is Machine
Head. You know that sucks. In all the wrong ways. 3

Revenant: Without a doubt the most overrated album
of 2011. I’m tired of all these “Album of the year” quotes. Sure,
credit them for trying, but in this instance their ambition has exceeded
their talent. The melo-death style song doesn’t work. The children’s
choir doesn’t work. The songs are stretched too lengths beyond what
they needed to be. Not entirely bad, but way over hyped. 6

Smalley: Album of the year so far. Go read my review. Don’t listen to K. 9

Textures: Dualism Textures: Dualism


Lord K: That the Dutch people have a soft stance
when it comes to smoking weed is a well-known fact. I believe inhaling
that shit helps to create something like what Texture’s doing.
Interesting stuff, this, but do not expect to “get it” by listening to
it half-hearted. Given time it might even be a grower. 7

InquisitorGeneralis: I don’t get this, sounds like progressive Volbeatcore. I don’t like it either. 3

Habakuk: Progressive metal. Core. Sounds better than it does on paper, yet still my progressive ‘needs’ are more than met this month. 6

CadenZ: Technique and skills coupled with dull
songwriting. Meh. Meh-met. Think about guys called Mehmet. I feel sorry
for you, Mehmets of the world. I’m guessing you’re all fans of Textures.

Revenant: On paper this shouldn’t appeal to me:
progressive metal with djent riffing throughout. Thankfully music isn’t
made with paper, but instruments, and this is quite damn good. 7

Smalley: I’m not into the djent-y feel on the harsh
vocals/instrumental work here, but the more melodic, prog-y stuff is
good, so do more of that next time, Textures, and get a singer who
doesn’t sound as strained doing clean stuff. Oh yeah, and keep that cool
drummer. 6

Hatesphere: The great bludgeoning Hatesphere: The great bludgeoning


Lord K: With Hatesphere you can always expect some
high quality thrash brutality. It doesn’t matter how many members they
change obviously, the formula is intact. Hatesphere create some
incredibly competent thrash metal and tons of today’s bands in that
genre should take notice. Irritatingly underrated band, this one. 7

InquisitorGeneralis: I have lost interest in these
guys ever since the days “Ballet of the Brute”, the last album by them I
remember liking. If you liked The Haunted before they started sucking
dicks, you will like this. There is too much cooler thrash out there for
me to start liking Hatesphere again, though. 5

Habakuk: Okay I guess, but the day I care about a modern thrash band is yet to dawn. 6

CadenZ: When Hatepenis decide to go epic and melodic, they win. Other than that, well… snore. 5

Revenant: The Haunted called. They want their riffs back. 6

Smalley: I used to think these guys were completely
bad-ass once upon a time, but no more. Meaning not that they stopped
being bad-ass for this one, but I no longer think they were ever bad-ass. 4

Anthrax: Worship music Anthrax: Worship music


Lord K: As you all know, the last good thing
Anthrax released came out in fucken 1987. That was a long time ago. Now
bag lady look-a-like Joey Primadonna has returned to the fold and
“Worship music” is advertised as their “We’re baaaaack!!!” album. Only
problem is – they aren’t. Joey is, of course, a better fit than John
Bush (that Nelson dude can suck it) and I believe he’s never sounded
this good. Why Anthrax is still labeled “thrash metal” is beyond me.
There’s nothing thrashy about this. Modern, well-produced, limp metal,
that’s what it is. “Worship music” is as interesting as Scott Ian’s
replies here. 4

InquisitorGeneralis: This could be worse, and
Charlie Benante can still be impressive on the drums, so I would not
call this a total wash. More intricate songs would help, but I doubt
that weapon is in Anthrax’s arsenal anymore. 5

Habakuk: [x] Big name [ ] Good music. 4

CadenZ: Good guitar solos does not boring record save from average rating. 5

Revenant: This was a lot better than I had
expected. Mostly mid-paced, barely a hint of thrash, but catchy
nonetheless. Belladonna’s vocals do get tiring after a while though. I
prefer Bush (that statement is not restricted just to Anthrax singers,
if you catch my drift). 7

Smalley: ‘thrax never tickled my metal pickle all that much, but WM is pretty decent, and a nice comeback after the middling-ness of their last one. Forumer OT is incorrect. Go read my review. 7

Dream Theater: A dramatic turn of events Dream Theater: A dramatic turn of events


Lord K: The fact the world’s most talented
musicians can’t come up with anything better than this in 2011 is
frightening. Music for musicians, as always, but ultimately very
soulless shit. And no, there’s no need to bring back Mike Portannoying.
There’s only a need for creating good tunes. 4

InquisitorGeneralis: Not a bad effort after losing
Mork Portcunt. There is a heavier feel to things and the band is solid
as always. If you hate Dream Theater, you will certainly keep on hatin’
(much like me and grind and Brutal Truth) but if you like the band you
will not be disappointed. 6

Habakuk: Definitely not bad and heavier than I thought, but for exactly opposite reason than with Brutal Truth, I can’t really relate. 6

CadenZ: A new Mangina behind the kit doesn’t do anything to DT’s sound. A ton duller than its predecessor, “ADTOE” is – wait for it – a borefest! Oooh what a dramatic turn of events!! 4

Revenant: Fuck, this one just kept going and going
and going. 84 minutes in all… and not one second that wasn’t self
indulgent wankery. I’d rather give myself a vasectomy with garden
shears than go through that again. 4

Smalley: Surprisingly decent by Penis Theater standards. Go read my review. 7

Nightrage: Insidious Nightrage: Insidious


Lord K: Swedish metal worship on all accounts and so fantastically boring and without identity I just threw up a little. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: At the Gates of the Haunted
Hatesphere my Arch Enemy was cast In Flames by an Amorphis douche. If
you think America is the only country that can pump out soulless,
derivative metal go to Sweden and dial up some Nightrage. 2

Habakuk: These guys had their set between
Necrophagist on the one hand, and Malevolent Creation and Bolt Thrower
on the other a few years back. Needless to say, they didn’t leave much
of an impact. Their melodic Swedeath has its moments, though. 6

CadenZ: Arch Enemy called and… yeah you know.
Pseudo-harsh melodic “death” metal for the rebellious teenagers of the
lost generation. Snore. 4

Revenant: My feeling towards melo-death is much the
same as what everyone feels for thrash: it’s all been done before and
better. This is no exception. 5

Smalley: Average, quasi-metalcore with grating vox: pass. 5

Evanescence: Evanescence Evanescence: Evanescence


Lord K: I am disappoint. A bit at least. I always
had a crush on Amy Lee’s voice, and that still stands, but “Evanescence”
is not what I hoped for. Of course this is as plastic as you’d expect,
and it is naturally created for the charts, but compared to the past
albums this is just a weaker effort. Still, Amy’s pipes FTW. I’d be pee in her butt. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: If I want to listen to some
chick whine I’d call up my ex-girlfriend and ask her to talk about her
feelings and why our relationship didn’t work out. I hated this fucking
band the first time I heard their one-hit-shitter a few years ago, and
this fuckfest ain’t changing my mind. 1

Habakuk: “Dowhatchyouwatchyouwant!!” Yep, DELETE. 3

CadenZ: Melodic popcore with some cool songwriting,
mostly meh, but these fuckos got an amazing vocalist. Without her, this
would suck more than my dick. 5

Revenant: Same as before, but less catchy. Yawn. 4

Smalley: Yeah, Amy’s got kind of a nice voice, but
the music itself is dull, milquetoast-emo shit for the wannabe goths at
Hot Topic. Way too quiet, too. And did they sample the drum beat from
“When The Levees Break”?? 5

Generation Kill: Red, white and blood Generation Kill: Red, white and blood


Lord K: Yeah, the only reason this one is in AA is
becoz it’s Exodus’ frontman Rob Dukes’ side project or whatever. This
crossover outfit isn’t going to be paying the bills anytime soon so
don’t quit Exodus, you hear? 3

InquisitorGeneralis: Exodus this ain’t. Rob Dukes’ side project is some pretty bland quasi-thrashy shit. Emphasis on shit. 3

Habakuk: Mostly plodding tough guy metal for young
US Armed Forces dropouts. At least it sounds like Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder therapy. 4

CadenZ: Brainless Amerihardcore with stupid lyrics.
The moody, melodic songs are a million times better than the mindless
bashing, so please choose wisely when deciding on your future. 3

Revenant: Started promisingly with some really
catchy thrash/hardcore, but after track four boredom set in. On a
positive note, I did learn Inuit women have cold vaginas. Handy to know.

Smalley: Stick to Exodus for the unpatriotic stuff,
Dukes, and leave these hardcore punk-wannabes behind. Some of this IS
good, but Exodus is just at a higher level right now. 6

Sebastian Bach: Kicking & screaming Sebastian Bach: Kicking & screaming


Lord K: Decent hard rock. No one cares about
Sebastian Bach as a solo artist and no one cares about Skid Row without
said solo artist. While the years haven’t been nice to this fuckos looks, at least they treated his voice better. And that fucken album cover… Just… wow. Photoshop gone haywire. 4

InquisitorGeneralis: I knew there was a reason I only cared about this dude in concert when he played old Skid Row songs. 2

Habakuk: If you are looking for proof that the eighties are over, here’s your album of the month. 3

CadenZ: Sebastian, make peace with your Skidmark Row pals and go Bach. We don’t need your solo career over here in the real world. 3

Revenant: Fingerless gloves, parachute pants, hyper
colour T-shirts, mullets, glam rock and cheesey ballads. The 80’s: not
all of it is worth revisiting. 4

Smalley: Fine production here, but I dislike
‘Bastion’s vocals. Too bad, since some of the riffs/solos here are
actually nice, despite the dated, cheesy feel to some of ‘em. Never gave
a fuck about Skid Row, either. 6

Brutal Truth: End time Brutal Truth: End time


Lord K: I can’t believe this band went from this to this. 2

InquisitorGeneralis: Honestly, I’m not the person
to turn to on this one. I fucking hate this band, and most grind in
general, so you are not going to get anything relevant or objective from
me. If you like grind, you’ll like this. I don’t… so I don’t. 2

Habakuk: I never seem to get this band (this is my
third try), although on paper I should like their grind / death mix. I
see where they’re going, but I ain’t really following. Fans can’t go
wrong with this, though. 6

CadenZ: Not close to their greatest moments, but still an OK slab of full-tilt aggression coupled with slithery grooves. 5

Revenant: Gah, this is fucken awful. There’s going
to be a whole bunch of hating on me in there forums for saying that,
but this only reminds me why I avoid grind in the same manner I avoid an
STD ridden hooker. Not even when drunk. And
that album closer? I can’t imagine anyone sitting through that last 13
minutes and thinking it is good. 3

Smalley: Never listened to BT before now, and this grating, disorganized, messy release isn’t encouraging me any. 3

Staind: Staind Staind: Staind


Lord K: Aaron Lewis’ got a quite good voice and… no, that’s all. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I stain my pants with brown
brewsauce every time I heard I hear this whiney-bitch and his back-up
band of nameless losers. Weak power chords and dude-angst are soo ’99. 2

Habakuk: It’s hard to even form an opinion on this.
Totally unobtrusive, catchy Nickelback metal of the kind I thought had
already died. 4

CadenZ: Grunge-y, down-tuned emo rock. Blowfish, gimme sucky-sucky? 3

Revenant: Sounds like a heavier version of
Nickleback. Radio friendly heavy music in the same category of suck as
Disturbed, Drowning Pool and the like. 3

Smalley: Another blast-from-the-past band that I didn’t need to be reminded of; thanks AA! 4

Alice Cooper: Welcome 2 my nightmare Alice Cooper: Welcome 2 my nightmare


Lord K: With an innovative title like that you know
good ol’ Alicia will deliver some new murderous hits along the lines of
the… eh… classic (GTFO) “Welcome to my
nightmare”. What was that? Alice Cooper sucks? You don’t say? I am so
looking forward to the boogie-woogie coming on “Welcome 3 my nightmare”.
Seriously, you already know this is quite irrelevant shit. Thank fuck
we have “He’s back (the man behind the mask)”. Now that’s some fine
disco right there. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: This old fuck was good in
concert last year, but this album is not good. Stick with touring and
running your sportsbar, Alice…but stay out of the fucking studio. 3

Habakuk: Wow, this shit is really retarded. Lame-ass corporate rock with nothing going for it at all. 2

CadenZ: I think I haven’t heard any new Alice
Cooper material since “Hey Stoopid” and, judging by the quality of this
atrocity, I’m glad about that. This sucks more than a black hole
blowjob. The mixture of totally moronic lyrics, auto-tune vocals,
sub-par country, tired bluesy rock riffs, 80’s disco with awkward
rapping makes this a candidate for Worst Record of the Year Award. I
think this is even worse than the latest Limp Dickshit album. 1

Revenant: The master of shock rock is back! How old
is he now, what, 80? 90? Whatever. This manages to recapture the sound
of his 70’s music, but amidst the good tunes are steaming turds. Far to
inconsistent to be worthwhile. 4

Smalley: Never gave much of a fuck about AC, and
this pathetic pine for days gone bye isn’t any different. I’m digging
those Weird Al-ish vocals though, they’re amusing. 4


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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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