GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – July 2010

Audio Autopsy – July 2010

01/07/10  ||  Global Domination

Misery Index: Heirs to thievery Misery Index: Heirs to thievery

7.5/10

Lord K: Ok, here we go. Misery Index obviously do
not wanna take any prisoners with their grind-tinged deathrash metal. I
hear bits of Vader, Defleshed and whatnot here. Works for me. Prepare
for insane double bass (awfully loudly mixed too) and tons of brutality
while you get it on with this album. 7

Kampfar: Misery Index kicks ass, Dying Fetus even more so. 7

The Duff: American grind has never hit it big for
me, Misery Index is just one of many where I’ve figured Europe do it
better. The time between this and “Traitors” was brief, and compliments
are in order for the avoidance of dip in quality, but Misery Index will
never be an amazing outfit in my mind, so this gets standard “thumbs up”
fare but nothing I’ll return to pout-face. 7

Trauma: Some great shit right here. Not sure if
this one’ll surpass “Traitors”, but it’s definitely a powerful beast of
an album. “The carrion call” and the title track were awesome live. 9

CadenZ: Another one? Didn’t MI release an album
just now? Hmm, apparently it’s been nearly two years since “Traitors”.
Well, I guess that means I haven’t been missing them much. Weird, since
their aggro death is quite the refreshing experience. 7

JD Provorse (guest): As much as it pains me to do
so, what with them being a bunch of degenerate communists, I think I
have to add Misery Index to the very short list of American bands still
worth a shit. Fucking sick as ever. 8

Aeon: Path of fire Aeon: Path of fire

7.3/10

Lord K: You have a full review by me here
in case you are interested. Let’s keep it short; Aeon’s on top of the
line when it comes to Americanized death metal created by Swedes. They
actually do this better than the Americans themselves when I think about
it. Since we don’t do 0,5 scores in AA I’ll simply have to lower the
final verdict a tad for this edition (compared to the review), coz no
matter how good this is – it’s not a 9. Few things are a 9 in my world,
fucko. 8

Kampfar: Balls of steel aren’t needed if you choose
to piss on Christ and his Christianity, no balls at all will do, and we
all know what I just wrote to be nothing but the truth. Kill the pope
and all his followers. And therefore, worms and maggots, I wonder when
anyone doing extreme metal will dare to blaspheme Islam. Fuck Allah and
his demented messenger into juvenile goats and preteen girls. Aeon is
not the answer, but their death metal is of the quality kind
nonetheless. 7

The Duff: I haven’t heard the band’s debut EP, but
if popular belief were merged with my opinion, Aeon have steadily
digressed with each successive album, although “Rise to Dominate” is my
personal favourite if not one of my most cherished tech death efforts.
There’s no doubt these guys are a formidable outfit, and this new one is
just as catchy as its immediate predecessor and more evil to boot. The
band’s influences are definitely shining through most of all on “Path of
Fire”, the drumming is absolutely insane to say the least, but where I
disagree with long-term fan Abyss (ex-staff member) is that the riffs
clash and the songs don’t seem as evidently complete as on past works.
Solos as always are breathtaking, the musicianship generally spot-on
throughout; an awesome disc that should keep fans satisfied. 7

Trauma: Killer title track, and killer aggression. I
don’t know yet how it stacks up against “Rise to dominate” as I’ve not
had enough listens, but I reckon it will hold up pretty well. 8

CadenZ: A thick slab of brutal death, this. Cool
riffs and great execution make up for the production which is, in my
opinion, too clear and unsick for Aeon’s pounding. 7

JD Provorse (guest): More pinch harmonics than a
Black Label Society record, and more Jesus-hatin’ lyrics than a Deicide
record. Thankfully, much better music than either of those as well. If
I listened to much brutal death metal, I would want it to sound like
this. 7

Keep Of Kalessin: Reptilian Keep Of Kalessin: Reptilian

7.2/10

Lord K: The Norwegian Eurovision participants (or,
wait… did they qualify?) return with “Reptilian”. Funny thing is that
the (perhaps) Eurovision entry (“The dragon tower”) is the highlight of
the album, not meaning that any of the other material is bad – coz it
certainly isn’t. KOK’s a talented band without
a doubt, and their somewhat black metal influenced music is a treat for
anyone into well-composed material with impressive musicianship. They
are not very tr00 though. 7

Kampfar: Keep Of Kalessin aren’t very necro, after
all they tried to qualify for the awfulness known as Eurovision, but
this doesn’t stop me from enjoying “Reptilian” quite fucking hard.
Extreme-metal light at its best this. 8

The Duff: There are parts of “Reptilian” that send
me over the edge, but the ideas these develop into sometimes fail me
which is a real shame – I haven’t heard metal this captivating from
many, and yet most of it isn’t even close to traditional black metal as I
originally thought the band coined. It’s fresh, real addictive material
that is honest, technical and just plain headbang-worthy. Some stale
sections do kick in every once in a while, reminding me of
run-of-the-mill melodeath/deathcore or whatever the fuck derivative
sub-genre you can think of, but Keep of Kalessin may have won themselves
a purchase for how eclectic and ingraining their music is. 8

Trauma: I thought this band was gonna be some power
metal/folk metal. I was completely wrong and completely surprised.
Quality black/whatever done with enviable energy. 7

CadenZ: Thrashened black metal, expertly crafted. Though the difference isn’t all that
big, there’s more musicianship than soul on “Reptilian”, and that
equation bodes not well in any genre, and especially not in BM. Still a
very nice effort, and it might be a grower. 7

JD Provorse (guest): When they are being a thrash
band, they make me want to bang my head like a madman. When they are
being a black metal band, they are just thoroughly average. Extra nerd
points for the band name, though. 6

Hour Of Penance: Paradogma Hour Of Penance: Paradogma

6.7/10

Lord K: Annoying kicks aside (trigger mania), Hour
Of Penis (you didn’t see that coming, huh?) blast out their, ehum…
blasting death metal like their assholes were under gunpoint.
Impressive, on-the-mark brutality with more riffs in one tune than
AC/DC’s got in their complete discography. It’s just a little too
non-groovy to catch my complete attention, but it’s still good shit. 6

Kampfar: Hour Of Penance knows their death metal
and is without doubt one of Italy’s finest when it comes to creating
noise in the name of dying. So it’s a medium sized shame then that the
production takes a piss all over their effort. Not a high pressure one,
but the booming kickdrums sure taints an otherwise fine effort. 7

The Duff: This band’s last album, “The vile
Misconception”, was album of the year for me in 2007, and an effort that
will stand the test of time; not really surprising I was going to be
disappointed in this, but I think “Paradogma” is the let-down of the
year. Take away the catchiness, and the band becomes devoid of purpose –
drums and vocals are absolutely fantastic, but the riffs are, for the
most part, quite average and overly-compensated for by the
aforementioned performances; production is killer, and I’m sure given
the right sound system, this disc would crush, but the music doesn’t
stand despite this on the whole being a satisfactory death metal
release. 6

Trauma: This is one complete blast-fest. Way too hectic for me, but I wold say these guys do it pretty fucken well. 7

CadenZ: Okay, so you Italians want to pound my head clean off? Hmm… Well, let’s hear what you go- Schthumphh. 8

JD Provorse (guest): I thought the only thing
brutal in Italy was Rocco Siffredi’s anal sex videos. Guess I was
wrong. A little bit of everything on display here; bits of Morbid Angel
and Zyklon and Gojira. I’ve been trying to dream up a death metal
pizza joke, but I got nothing. 6

Dew-Scented: Invocation Dew-Scented: Invocation

6.2/10

Lord K: The Germans manage to spit out the
occasional groovy riff within their thrash metal. Oh, the joy. Their
vocalist tends to become annoying though with his very one-dimensional
snarl. I even think he works at Century Media so no wonder that
Dew-Scented get to put out albums despite that flaw. ZING! 5

Kampfar: Dew-Scented and their thrash is high on
energy and choked with a fuckload of decent riffs but circa halfway
through I’ve had enough of what they have to offer regardless.
Surprisingly enough, these guys being German and all, cheese is not a
part of their palette. Wow! Very recommended if you eat, breath, and
shit thrash. 6

The Duff: Is this IG’s favourite band? Not bad –
some grand riffs; where fellow Swedodeath/thrash bands have either
folded (The Crown, although now re-formed) or succumbed to mainstream
demand (The Haunted), Dew-Scented are mixing certain accessible elements
to an otherwise steady, heavy, fast-paced thrashfest that should keep
admiration for these German metallers flying high for their pretty much
unwavering integrity. 7

Trauma: I learned from a wise man once that
Dew-Scented write the same album every time, which slightly different
results. He was insanely correct. This is quality music, but it sounds
exactly like all the other albums. Very little variety to my ears. 6

CadenZ: Cool thrash with a sucky vocalist. Some
nice Slayer pounding, fast double kicks and passionate riffs lift these
Teutons an inch above average. 6

JD Provorse (guest): I never bothered to check out
this band before today. Second-worst name in metal, right after Green
Carnation. Pretty damned decent German thrash, though. Bang your head
until your neck snaps, perhaps while driving at high speeds. 7

Nevermore: The obsidian conspiracy Nevermore: The obsidian conspiracy

6/10

Lord K: I still miss Sanctuary. 6

Kampfar: Jeff Loomis and his crew are a talented
lot, we all know that, but this time around they don’t grab me by the
balls. I don’t know if they did last time around either, senility rules
supreme, but what I do know is that I love “Enemies of reality” really
rather dearly. Perhaps even more spins will change my mind regarding
this thing named “The obsidian conspiracy”? 6

The Duff: The band’s second worst album, I don’t
consider this as bad as “Dead Heart in a Dead World” because they
haven’t entirely abandoned the thrash attack of earliest efforts as well
as their last two, but the ballad-heavy material towards the end of the
disc plus, in my mind, atrocious single “Emptiness Unobstructed” makes
“The Obsidian Conspiracy” horribly lop-sided – the first four tracks are
fucking excellent beyond belief, but the dip comes sudden and very
disappointingly, the heavier riffs towards the end of the disc (minus
the return-to-grace title track) not seeming enough to resolve my issues
as they appear second-rate from such a talented band. 7

Trauma: I once pondered on a forum why people
thought Warrel Dane’s vocals were so irritating, because the little I
heard didn’t sound nearly as bad to warrant the complaints. Well, I got
a full album’s worth of his vocals, and I can now see why they are so
irritating. 6

CadenZ: Nevermore keep to their tradition with
their mish-mash of thrash, power and prog. It’s good, but nothing
mind-blowing (except for some of Loomis’…thingies). Dane’s vocals sound
much better when he’s not trying to be too melodic, so why don’tcha
better yourself for the next record, Warrel-san? 7

JD Provorse (guest): Warrell Dane’s voice was
always a “take it or leave it” kind of experience, and on this album,
it’s more “leave it” than “take it”. It would be nice if they tried
something musically that they didn’t already do back in 1996, too.
Still, not total shit. 4

Pain Of Salvation: Road salt one Pain Of Salvation: Road salt one

5.7/10

Lord K: Stellar musicians, sure, but this is just
too pretentious even for me, and I listen to the queen of
pretentiousness, Blümchen, sometimes. 4

Kampfar: If your girlfriend just left you and your
last visit to the doctor revealed a malignant tumor the size of Jupiter
residing in your stomach, in addition to A.I.D.S. and Ebola everywhere
else, be sure to give this heartbroken bullshit a go. Then shoot
yourself. Oh well, what we are dealing with here is progressive
nothingness choked full of pretto and a vibe of the 70’s. 1

The Duff: I know PoS have been getting a lot of bad
press lately with their inability to adhere to the principles that made
them the darlings of prog metal (or however many sub-genres that would
be infused into their ambitious masterpieces of yore), but despite never
finding much of a connection with the band even with their earliest
efforts which I consider haphazard at times amidst the genius, and
surprisingly enjoying the shit out of “Be”, I’m finding this more a
return to form than the maligned “Scarsick” – it seems Daniel and Co.
wish to have a foot in both camps, pleasing old fans and venturing into
recently explored whackier territories; once more, a mix of sub-genres
and moods, outstanding musicianship and a very pleasing, coherent whole,
this is definitely a grower for the King Crimson fan. 7

Trauma: I was completely not in the mood to listen
to this album, but I’d think I would really dig it at some point, what
with some of the more different songs like “Tell me you don’t know”. I
thought that one was pretty damn good. Maybe I will investigate, maybe
not. 5

CadenZ: Shit. I was completely taken off guard by “RSO”. Sounds like something from the 1970’s, the golden era of the genre this album also belongs to – prog rock. Oh, man. I did not
see this one coming. Great passion and production. There’s nothing
metal here, and who the fuck cares. This album is amazing and I fucken
love it. 9

JD Provorse (guest): This is not metal. At all.
Not even a little bit. It’s more of a mellow classic rock jam session,
very live and loose feeling, with virtually no sign of high-gain guitars
or aggressive vocals. That being said, it’s fucking amazing.
Seriously. 8

Exodus: Exhibit B - The human condition Exodus: Exhibit B – The human condition

5.7/10

Lord K: Exodus is a band who’s better off writing
3-4 minute tracks of their sometimes brilliant riffage fests. I don’t
see the point of having 6-7 minute tracks when you play this particular
style. Production is ace, Gary Holt is a fucken master at The Riff and
Exodus still pretty much piss on their colleagues. They just need to cut
down the lengths of the tunes to make the impact far greater. Machine
Head should do the same, by the way. 7

Kampfar: If thrash from the 80’s with a modern
production sounds like a treat to you, you are in for a veritable feast
here. Not quite my thing, but 60+ minutes of said music executed in a
fine manner is damn sure value for your money if you happen to be a
sorry soul stuck in the past. Value for your bandwidth, I meant. 6

The Duff: Thrash legends are still kicking ass, it
would seem, although I’ve let this band slip from my attention since
“Shovel Headed Killing Machine” – material is much the same, although I
don’t understand why they go all Trivium on us for track “Downfall”;
yes, breakfast for me is a concrete slab to the face every morning, but
the by-now-settled-but-not-as-good-as-Lord Worm vocalist is not a gifted
singer, let alone thrash gargler. Still, the venom is unrepentantly
strong, and being a huge fan of Holt’s lead-work off of “Bonded By
Blood”, I’m glad to say a lot of the shredding on “Exhibition B” makes
my jaw hit the floor. 7

Trauma: Not “Tempo of the damned”. Not special.
Except Rob Dukes sounds less bad. The rest of the band are up to par on
playing and all, but interesting songs went out the window. 4

CadenZ: Exodus’ tenth full-length is exactly what you thought it would be. Well-done one-dimensional thrash metal. 6

JD Provorse (guest): Remember when Exodus came back
from the dead with two solid albums in 2004 and 2005? What happened?
The biggest problem with Exodus today is that they need an editor. These
songs are all way too long, and that makes them way too boring. 4

Master: The human machine Master: The human machine

4.7/10

Lord K: How unexpected to once again find out that Master fucken blow so much they even beat most of the NWOAPM (New Wave Of American Plague Metal) bands in the Suck Championships. 2

Kampfar: “Slaves to society” was a fine album, “The human machine” is not. 4

The Duff: I met Paul Speckmann about 5 years ago at
a Visceral Bleeding concert – I think he was pissed off that I was just
only eight years old and talking about death metal, saying things like
“Sooooo, heard about these headliners Obituary then?”. Still, he agreed
to an interview, and yet despite things going well I never bothered
checking up on his band – turns out that Master are quite the
influential outfit, just praised by none. “The Human Machine” is a great
disc, something I can imagine Kampfar enjoying to no end, and the sign
of a seasoned band knowing exactly what’s expected of them and exactly
what they wish to deliver. Nothing wrong with that, although I can
easily forego standard, exceptionally well written death metal for
something with more depth; you have to question the longevity of such
for casual fans and worth to those who worship the greats yet have yet
to hear of Master. Entombed, death n’ roll with more of a
straightforward approach is what I get with a gritty, surprisingly
crystal-clear, dry production and death metal meets Lemmy vocals – I
would picture newer-age bands such as Phazm playing this style of metal
better for the new millennium; fine for what temporarily ails you, but
nothing much cerebral. 7

Trauma: It started off so well. Then Paul Speckmann started singing. 6

CadenZ: Unpolished, sick and twisted. I’ve never
liked Paul’s vocals all too much and the riffs bring absolutely nothing
new to the table, but I still find myself digging this. The legend lives
on. 6

JD Provorse (guest): This is possibly the best
example I’ve ever heard of a vocalist blowing it for a band. Musically,
this is ripping old-school death/thrash. Vocally, this is like someone
shitting in your ears. 3

Godsmack: The oracle Godsmack: The oracle

4/10

Lord K: There’s an overload of fucken shitty
half-metal bands in this edition. Lucky us. Godsmack never interested me
and that fact still remains with “The oracle”. Neatly produced and
executed, sure, but ultimately dull as shit. Still it’s better than
Bullet For My Valentine As I Lay Dying In My Drowning Pool – even if
that’s not saying anything. 4

Kampfar: Godsmack and their hard-rock is not for
me, nor any of my imaginative friends, but surprisingly enough I don’t
feel an urgent need to visit the US of A and behead them when listening
to what they have on the menu. Don’t ask me why. 5

The Duff: I like the opening riff, the rest
plummets and swoops to level fields every now and then; I’ve never
disliked Godsmack, but I think they hit the scene at the wrong time and
so are associated with a lot of piss-poor bands. Not something I shun,
but the music is very average, heavily layered guitars that have little
impact otherwise and vocals that are hit and miss; could do worse, and
their is some enjoyable material here for sure. 5

Trauma: Hate me, whatever, but at least Sully is a
true witch, or something. +3 points. The songs are okay, and I’d
definitely use this to ease a certain couple females into metal. I
actually listened through this album twice and didn’t turn it off, but I
did skip two songs. 6

CadenZ: The album kicks off with one of the dullest
riffs in mankind, and it doesn’t get much better after that. Tired
fucken nu metal/rock. 3

JD Provorse (guest): Some bands can get away with
releasing the same album over and over because it’s a good album.
Godsmack is obviously not any of those bands. This almost makes me want
that Drowning Pool record back. Almost. 1

Drowning Pool: Drowning pool Drowning Pool: Drowning pool

3.7/10

Lord K: I guess these fuckos label themselves
“groove metal” or something along those lines. I also bet they sell
quite a bunch of albums. I can guarantee you that I am not helping their
sales though. Lump this bunch together with the rest of the useless
bands in the world and in this edition. 3

Kampfar: I wish I had a pool big enough to drown
all bands hooked on emo in. To fulfill my dream of drowning them all at
once, I guess the pool would have to be the size of Texas or something.
Better than As I Lay Dying and Bullet For My Valentine this, but we are
still talking a pathetic band populated by a bunch of fucking crybabies.
3

The Duff: I don’t know what’s happening to my
brain, but I honestly don’t hate this; I’ll never buy it, will never
listen to it again, but if these are the guys who did “Bodies”, then I’m
surprised to be enjoying this as background “fuel” music; riffs are
mediocre, but the whole package is actually entertaining in no small
part due to the vocals and groove-led rhythm section. 5

Trauma: This is definitely music for the U.S.
charts. The riffs can be catchy, and if you deny that you’re just being
an asshole for asshole’s sake. The songs have nothing that really
saves them from mediocrity. It’s a shame, but then again… didn’t they
make this really shitty song that was popular once? Beats the fuck
outta me. 5

CadenZ: DP (porn references for the win!) remind me
of Disturbed, though a bit more melodic and easy-listening. I actually
don’t hate this, which is a strong effort for a band in this shit genre.
5

JD Provorse (guest): I think I would rather drown in a pool. 1

Engel: Threnody Engel: Threnody

3.5/10

Lord K: Modern metal 1-on-1. Drummer Mojjo is the
highlight of this band and even though these guys are real cool fuckers I
can’t help but thinking the debut was a lot better – not meaning this
is awesome or anything. Just too 2010 for me. 4

Kampfar: Daniel “Mojjo” Moilanen should be fucking
ashamed of himself, quitting The Project Hate to focus on this fucking
bullcrap is namely beyond lame. I’m sure he is a great guy and all that
blabla, and I sort of love him quite hard for what he did in Runemagick,
but when listening to this melodic nothingness I sure feel like beating
him to death with his own drumsticks. Fucking hell, Danny boy. 3

The Duff: Two wastes of space for this AA, and I think we are far and away better off than last month. 1

Trauma: The music is very good. I started digging
this shit really well until the vocals went into full force. They are
very tough to get used to, and you either do or don’t in the end. I
didn’t. No thanks. 6

CadenZ: Some label this as “modern Gothenburg
metal”. If techno influences and boy band singing is what constitutes
modern, I’m happy I still have “Terminal Spirit Disease”, “The Jester
Race” and “The Gallery”. 3

JD Provorse (guest): Sounds like a bad Swedish
rip-off of a bad American rip-off of Swedish melodic metal. Probably
because, as it turns out, that’s what it is. But it’s still Swedish at
its core, so it’s got that going for it. 4

We Are The Fallen: Tear the world down We Are The Fallen: Tear the world down

3/10

Lord K: Evanescence is back with a new moniker and a
new whore singing? It’s fucken ridiculous how much they sound alike.
That doesn’t mean I don’t like it, I do prefer the original though,
let’s put it like that. There are alot of weak tunes on this here
recording, but also a few decent-to-good tunes. Soulless radio rock,
muthafuckers! 5

Kampfar: If you consider eyeliner and Evanescence
to be the best shit this world ever came up with, you can’t go wrong
with We Are The Fallen. Competent musicianship and an excellent
production aside, this goth nonsense can go fuck itself. 3

The Duff: I despise female-fronted metal;
closed-minded, I don’t think so, as the music is often overproduced to
hide the blandness, the focus being, uh, the vocals. I refuse to be
labeled sexist by a society that would bring back lynching for a pretty
face; this is sugar-coated crap. 2

Trauma: I bet 5 dollars in Monopoly cash that Lord K
likes some of this. I also bet 5 dollars monopoly money that he thinks
this crappy singer is worse than Amy and brings the band down. I’ll
either win or lose 5 dollars Monopoly money. 3

CadenZ: What?! Tori Amos joined Evanescence?! No,
not quite, but not too far away either. This is pop, poorly disguised in
a goth metal suit. This isn’t too shabby, but some good arrangements
and a good vocalist aren’t enough to save WATF from mediocrity. 4

JD Provorse (guest): I miss the days when chicks
weren’t allowed to front metal bands. Things were so much better then.
Then again, this isn’t really a metal band anyway, so I guess that
doesn’t apply. And I’m just a misogynist. Either way, this sucks. 1

Masterplan: Time to be king Masterplan: Time to be king

3/10

Lord K: And now we are in for a real fucken treat.
How is it possible to actually reach a level where you embarrass the
world so much with your god-awful power metal you’re not dying in the
process? “Time to be a king”? Oh yes, in the Gay Parade. 2

Kampfar: The masterplan has failed, time for
masterplan B already. Fucking hell, masterplan Z, or Å if you like,
would probably sound a lot better than this heavy metal bullshit only
capable of royally pissing me off. Oh my, what a fucking badass I am. 2

The Duff: Okay, I’m either in love or euphoric
because I managed to get my lips just over the edges of my bell-end
earlier with the use of six pillows and my bed as support, but
Masterplan are somewhat not ripping my scrotum in half through the pain
of shitty music. I don’t like cheese unless it’s wedged deep within the
crevices of my bell-end, but at times I cry myself to sleep to bands
like Evergrey, so to call this utterly horrendous would be unfair.
However, this Hammerfall/Symphony X style
melancholic-drab-dribble-of-piss usually boasts stellar musicianship,
and Masterplan aren’t there; little point for me to persevere, and I
doubt many serious metal fans could find much enlightening on “Time To
Be King” other than bandmembers’ past exploits. 4

Trauma: Hahahaha. Fuck no, thank you not. 3

CadenZ: Jørn Lande has one of the best voices in
all of metal, and without him Masterplan are just another average and
cheesy German power metal band. With the Norwegian raspthroat in the
ranks they are still to be reckoned with. That is, in the power metal
scene. In the real world, however, this cheezball falls short of the trash can but only just. 4

JD Provorse (guest): This is possibly the best
example I’ve ever seen of a band blowing it for a vocalist. Vocally,
this is powerful and aggressive Dio-worship. Musically, this is like
someone shitting in your ears. 3

As I Lay Dying: The powerless rise As I Lay Dying: The powerless rise

2.8/10

Lord K: Another one of all those disgusting NWOAPM
bands. I can’t fucken stand this style. It’s not that it’s poorly
performed (Pro-Tools and quantization is your friend) or anything, it’s
just so lacking in identity, soul, passion and sincerity. It’s watered
down, it’s supposed to be “hard” but fails at being just that, the
“blasts” sound ridiculous and the tough-guy musical approach is
sickening. And don’t forget the mandatory cheese and the hideous clean
vocals. Go fuck yourselves and take your MTV dreams with you. Oh, and guys – Jesus likes the cock. You are in good company. 3

Kampfar: Straightforward and (over) emotional shit
music with mass appeal but not a single riff worth dying for is what we
are dealing with here. Put even shorter, metalcore performed by
Christians is a horrendous affair. Guys, please suicide and join your
savior already. 2

The Duff: I enjoy some of this, I think the score
is more my registered surprise if anything – really, some of the riffs
are fucking good. 6

Trauma: They have a couple of neat riffs every now and then but the actual songs suck humongous piles of peanut and corn-laden feces. 3

CadenZ: I think the band name and album title say
it all. I would prefer lay dying than listening to this powerless piece
of shit one more time. Die, you fucks. 1

JD Provorse (guest): Powerless is a great word to describe this stuff. I think I’ll rise and take a dump while this finishes. 2

Bullet For My Valentine: Fever Bullet For My Valentine: Fever

2/10

Lord K: Obviously this band is kinda huge. Everyone
at Hot Topic loves this shit and the teenage chicks (only cunts can
stomach this) leave wet marks on the floor as they walk by the t-shirt
stands when they see their moniker. I say fuck’em. 2

Kampfar: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,
white “men” are currently the biggest pussies this world has to offer.
No balls, no spine, no fucking hope. Fuck it all, Bullet For My
Valentine and their gaycore very much included. 2

The Duff: Where As I Lay Dying surprise, Bullet for My Valentine befit their reputation despite qualified musicians. 3

Trauma: Give me a bullet to bite on, and I’ll make believe, make believe I never heard this shitty album. 2

CadenZ: Auto-tuner up my ass, and a bullet the size of a whale cock up yours, you Welsh shitheads. This sucks beyond belief. 1

JD Provorse (guest): The first vocals to appear on
the album are whispers. Not a good sign. Also, playing 16th notes
won’t hide the fact that your riffs are Nickelback knock-offs. This is
metal for “Twilight” fans. 2

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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