GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – January 2011

Audio Autopsy – January 2011

01/01/11  ||  Global Domination

Hate: Erebos Hate: Erebos

7.4/10

Lord K: Hate leave nothing to chance. The
production is crystal clear, everything is quantized to perfection and
the quality of “Erebos” is not to fuck with. This is as modern and
flawless as death metal can be in these times. As we all know, Poland’s
got its death metal down to the core. Easily the best album in the first
AA of 2011. Still, Lost Soul’s latest offering, “Immerse in infinity”,
is yet to be beaten. 8

InquisitorGeneralis: Polish people are metal
machines. This is not as awesome as other heavy hitting Poledeath like
Decapitated, Behemoth, and the almighty Vader but it’s pretty fucking
good, extreme death metal. Me likes. 7

Habakuk: It’s just astonishing that literally all
second tier Polish death metal bands sound like Vader or, like in this
case, Behemoth. An incredibly blatant rip-off, but that aside, this is
some high quality shit! 8

CadenZ: Behemoth wannabes no. 1. Not as good as their originators, but still enjoyable Polish death. 7

Altmer: Behemoth lite. Yes, they are from Poland.
Yes, they’re not as good. No, they’re still more than all right. Yes,
that means they get a good grade. 7

Impaled Nazarene: Road to the octagon Impaled Nazarene: Road to the octagon

6.8/10

Lord K: Best song title of this edition goes to Imp
Naz’s “Gag reflex”. It makes me think of all of your moms. I was never
into these guys’ punkish’n‘thrashing deathrash metal and “Road to the
octagon” is not going to change that. Still a huge “Kippis!” to bassist
Arc for being one of the coolest fuckers I know. 5

InquisitorGeneralis: Decent thrashy, deathy black
metal stuff going on here. I am not thrilled by the production though.
Smells like Aura Noir a bit. 6

Habakuk: Less black and more ripping thrash metal
than I expected. Easily the most vicious album in this edition, and
pretty damn great. 8

CadenZ: Kicking ass for two centuries, Luttinen
& co never let down their guard, but pummel us blue with raw punkish
and blackish metal. 7

Altmer: Black metal. There’s some other influences,
sure: I detect some punk and grindcore influence, but without the
obvious “chaos” that comes along with that. In other words, if a Black
Man met a Woman that Grinded him to the core, their babies would emit
high-pitched screams just like the singer for this band. In other
other words, this album rules. Also, nice Darkthrone nod on “Gag
reflex”. Now, can you tell that band to copy your production and we’re
all set. 8

Atheist: Jupiter Atheist: Jupiter

6.4/10

Lord K: I always loved Atheist, especially the 2
first albums (just like everyone else). On “Jupiter”, Kelly’s vocals are
not what they used to be, but the music sure holds up quite well.
Steve’s drumming is always a joy to listen to (not to mention the one
super integral part of the band) and at times moments of old classic
Atheist shine through, though “Jupiter” is (ofcourse) no “Piece of time”
or “Unquestionable presence”. I don’t think anyone within their right
minds expected that anyways. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: After seeing Atheist live
multiple times and now checking out this most recent album, I’m still
not blown away by this band. There are some cool, technical moments on
here but the vocals are no good and several of the songs just don’t flow
very well. The band obviously has the chops and I think this will grow
on me. But for now, “Jupipenis” is good but not great. 6

Habakuk: Very impressive, but there aren’t enough
parts that get me hooked among the fiddlediddlegiddlewiggiwiggijazz.
There are some, but the great, weird grooves in those are outweighed a
bit by the rest. 6

CadenZ: An almost crotch-pleasing return from these
tech death dinosaurs. It’s good, but after a while I zone off and my
eyes go all red. You know, like the omnipresent storm on Jupiter. 7

Altmer: Since I did a regular review
of this album already, there’s no need for me to say more than one
sentence or so. What it boils down to is that this album is an updated
take on their earlier material, but with way worse vocals and slightly
more chaotic songwriting. 7

Forbidden: Omega wave Forbidden: Omega wave

6/10

Lord K: One of my all-time fave thrash bands return
with “Omega wave”. Forbidden’s never released a weak effort and this
one is no exception. Vocalist Russ Anderson’s vocals sound exactly
as awesome as they did back in the day (as opposed to another re-united
band in this edition) and Forbidden’s thrash is as competent as you’d
expect. “Omega wave” is not astonishing, but it is a fine modern thrash
piece. This reminds me it’s been too long since I listened to one of the
best albums ever – “Twisted into form”. Time to rectify that. 7

InquisitorGeneralis: Good thrash-sounding stuff here that is brought down by the vocals. I like the band, but the singer needs to go. 5

Habakuk: As much as I’d want to like this, it’s
just modern, heavified thrash from a band that still likes falsetto.
Back to “Chalice of blood”! 5

CadenZ: Understatement of the year: good new thrash
records don’t pop up as often nowadays as they did during the latter
half of the 1980’s. Forbidden still do their best to improve the quota. 7

Altmer: This band should be FORBIDDEN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wait. I can’t do that. This above average thrash metal doesn’t really
suck at all. The songs are a bit too long, but other than that it’s in
the upper echelons of its genre. Too bad the record loses a lot of
momentum because of the overly long runtime. 6

Motörhead: The world is yours Motörhead: The world is yours

6/10

Lord K: It’s Motörhead, you know. As irrelevant as always. That should rile you idiots up, no? 5

InquisitorGeneralis: Hot damn is the first song on
here heavy and awesome. Things go down a bit after that but this is
still good shit. Let the forum trolls debate this endlessly, you know it
will happen. 7

Habakuk: I’m a bit underwhelmed, this should have
been a safe winner. It’s similar in sound and feel to the awesome last
three, and the groove is definitely strong, but the pace stays at two
thirds of the established standard.

Pick it up, for fuck’s sake! The last track finally does that. 7

CadenZ: Jamming all the good songs in the beginning
of an album is a wise decision, from a selling point of view. Musically
speaking, not so much. According to one of my omniscient friends, one
of the Infernal Arts of Production Values persuasion, this album is one
of the most generic he’s ever heard. Generic as in fucken generic rock
n’ roll AD 2010, which doesn’t sound like rock n’ roll whatsoever. No
rock, no roll. After some discussion I have to agree. Somewhat. But
Lemmy is still KING. 6

Altmer: What? Guys? Motörhead is still around? Why
do these guys release records? I know they get lots of love around GD,
but Motörhead are not my thing. This sounds like everything else they’ve
ever done. Except worse. Or, as K is going to put it: “This sounds like
Motörhead”. Fuck ‘em. 5

God Dethroned: Under the sign of the iron cross God Dethroned: Under the sign of the iron cross

5.8/10

Lord K: Brutal, thrashing, mayhemic death metal with blasts and whatnot – executed with precision and still something is missing. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: I really should like this
World War One themed, death metal shit. But, I don’t. It is boring and
repetitive. Sorry Goat Deboned, Hail of Bullets is doing this a lot
better than you. There are a few good parts here and there but goddamn,
the parts with clean vocals suck a bag of dicks. 4

Habakuk: This blast-heavy stuff sounds a lot like
“Envenomened”-era Malevolent Creation or Swiss deathers Requiem, which I
both dig. Add a generic World War I theme and the occasional
semi-melody, and we’re set.7

CadenZ: Relentless death bashing. Nice energy, but very unoriginal and turns into a snoozefest after a couple of tracks. 6

Altmer: Thrashy death metal something. Not half
bad, but I seriously doubt these guys are gonna win any awards for
originality. The nice Behemoth influences are cool though. But overall,
this is a tad too unfocused and… samey for me to really dig it. Also the
clean vocals are stupid. 6

Electric Wizard: Black masses Electric Wizard: Black masses

5.4/10

Lord K: I think you have to be on serious amounts
of dope to appreciate this. Then again, I am not sure even that will
help in the end. 2

InquisitorGeneralis: For doped-out stoner retro stuff, this is not bad. The riffs and production make this interesting enough to not suck. 5

Habakuk: While there are other bands from the genre
that have done just that, Electric Wizard’s stoner doom continues to
fail at growing on me. Must try drugs. 6

CadenZ: Obscure hymns for the evenings and nights
when you don’t see the world too clearly. In that state, I’d probably
rate this at least a point higher. 6

Altmer: Stoner. This sounds like Black Sabbath with
better vocals. That means that yes, if you like this genre (stoner
doom) you have just acquired a new album to purchase. I don’t care that
much about this genre, but for what this is it’s absolutely excellent,
so the score should reflect it. I might even listen to it again. More
than once. 8

Cradle Of Filth: Darkly, darkly, venus aversa Cradle Of Filth: Darkly, darkly, venus aversa

5.2/10

Lord K: I don’t know about Cradle… Every now and
then they pull off some rather excellent stuff but most often they come
across as a Disneyland black metal act. The best part, though, of
today’s COF is the new hair-do of Dani (look to the far right). That is some groundbreaking, thinking outside-the-box supremacy. 5

InquisitorGeneralis: Horrible vocals? Check. Bad keyboards? Check. Black metal for pre-schoolers? Check. This blows. 2

Habakuk: I always dismissed these guys as complete
crap, but this turns out to be okay. Soulless, but ok. Solidly executed,
albeit commercialized grey metal with “orchestration” being a stylistic
element, not the backbone of the music. 6

CadenZ: The diminutive fuckface and his minions are
back. We should rip them a new one. Except, this album named by an
imbecile isn’t actually too bad. There’s some urgency and passion in the
arrangements, and nice riffage going on. Too bad their style isn’t my
most precious cup of tea. 7

Altmer: I remember Dani Filth’s vocals being far
more annoying than this. Maybe it’s just the first song. The album
reminds me of a shittier version of Septic Flesh, without the idea that THEY DON’T NEED AN 80 MINUTE ALBUM. This would be so much better if they could actually condense this shit into 50 minutes. The songs are not that good. 6

Firewind: Days of defiance Firewind: Days of defiance

4.6/10

Lord K: Ozzy’s new butt-boy/guitarist Gus G’s
“real” band is a competent melodic (half-power) metal thing that you
have heard a million times before. If Firewind is the band Ozzy heard
when he picked Gus to play with him (nasty, nasty) – then he’s more
delusional than his appearance implies. And that says a lot. 5

InquisitorGeneralis: These Dio-wannabes can suck
it. This is the month of shitty vocals, I am convinced. This features
Ozzy new guitar dude, right? Normally I would say don’t quit for day job
but shit everything that dude touches turns to shit. 3

Habakuk: Listenable, somewhat heavy power metal
with vocals similar to Ripper Owens, complete with “Fire/Desire” rhymes
but otherwise not going overboard into a sea of cheese. Decent,
actually, I see how people would dig this. 5

CadenZ: Power metal. Nothing more, nothing less. 4

Altmer: Above average power metal. Don’t tell
anybody I said this, but it’s extremely well-done for the very limited
maneuvering space the genre leaves it. 6

Firebird: Double diamond Firebird: Double diamond

4.4/10

Lord K: The only reason this blues/rock act is
included is becoz band leader Bill Steer used to play in some decent
bands. It’s safe to say that Firebird isn’t exactly topping his past
efforts. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I like the bluesy twang to the
songs but the singer almost ruins for me. This is decent hard that I
can see myself listening to a bit more. 6

Habakuk: Wow, this is some incredibly tame US rock. A shame, there are decent, twangy riffs and everything, but it really sounds like Midlife Crisis OST. 4

CadenZ: Cowbell overload. I’m tired. 2

Altmer: Isn’t this the band of that Bill Steer guy
who used to be in Carcass? I think he should continue with Carcass cos
this is some tame old-school bluesy hard rock, and Carcass are just
better. However as blues-rock a la Cream and such it’s pretty good,
verging on great even. Yes, I like tame blues-rock. 7

Helloween: 7 sinners Helloween: 7 sinners

4.4/10

Lord K: Weak metal for kids aged 1-5. And this “new” singer is still no Kiske. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I have never liked this band,
even their supposed “classic” shit from the 80’s. The vocals are
pooperafic and everything starts to sound the same after a few minutes.
The band can play, but talent can only take you so far. 4

Habakuk: Just when I want to start typing “wow, this is a lot better than I thought”, they insert a flute solo!
It’s symptomatic: this is actually quite good power/speed metal until
they try to do something special. Most of the time, that special
something turns out to be incredibly gay, basically. 6

CadenZ: Helloween surprise me with a slightly tougher slab. Power metal with (some) balls, who could guess! 6

Altmer: “Are you metal?” If you are, Helloween, then I am most fucking certainly not. 3

GWAR: Bloody pit of horror GWAR: Bloody pit of horror

3.4/10

Lord K: I can’t appreciate GWAR in any other setting than on a stage. The question is: can anyone? 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I am happy to see that GWAR
is trying to keep things heavy these days. There is certainly nothing
memorable or exciting going on though. This is just another reason to
tour. 5

Habakuk: These songs sound like a very lame version
of Municipal Waste, aren’t funny in the slightest, but overdone,
annoying and redundant. I don’t see why this band needs to exist. 3

CadenZ: Bloody mess of shit, this mostly is. Even Yoda would say they suck. Or, “suck, they do”. 3

Altmer: If I was GWAR and
had to use shitty masks to cover up for mediocre at best thrash metal
with the worst vocals on this planet, I would have suicided instead of
making this record. Fuck you all the way to your bloody horror pit and
beyond. I hope you choke on a very small asparagus.3

Macabre: Grim scary tales Macabre: Grim scary tales

2.8/10

Lord K: Listen to the song “Lizzie Borden” and tell me this is some good shit. Actually, listen to any song off this album and tell me this is some good shit. This is not fun, it’ a fucken tragedy. 2

InquisitorGeneralis: Holy fucking hell enough with
the terrible singing! The band does a decent job playing some thrashy,
somewhat powery death metal, especially the drummer. I like the evil
fairy tale theme but it sounds like this band has 5 different singers
from bad clean to bad Luc from Gorguts… and they all suck. 4

Habakuk: These guys are tight, creative and bring
good riffage, but the only thing that really works is a good old Venom
cover. The vocals are just too annoying to make this enjoyable. 4

CadenZ: Grim scary tales my ass, grim scary tails
is more like it, if these fuckers would ever come up with the brilliant
idea of exposing themselves to the inspective lenses of Playgirl
photographers. We hope this will not be reality anytime soon, not with
them sounding like complete morons, trying to be Iron Maiden Hot Potato
No. 1. 2

Altmer: Kermit the Frog-vocals and… shit metal
combine to make a shit-pie. Note: do not make the drums overpower the
rest of your music. It sounds like fucking ass. 2

Kid Rock: Born free Kid Rock: Born free

2/10

Lord K: I have no idea why this guy is held in such
high regard within the American rock scene. I also have no idea why the
fuck he’s in this edition for. At least it doesn’t suck in a
Macabre-kind of way. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I like “Devil Without a
Cause”, especially the title track. Kid Rock needs to drop all this
country shit and go back the hip-rock that made him famous. This sounds
like a bad Waylon Jennings record. 4

Habakuk: I don’t know how much of a fucken redneck
you have to be to enjoy this kind of
“look-Ma-something-we-can-both-listen-to-in-the-car” feel-good rock, but
I’m happy to announce I’m not there yet. 1

CadenZ: Kid Flaccid Cock was born free of brains
and talent. He can go and try fuck the goats of Mendes with his
Pfizer-yearning penis for all I care, I’ll never listen to this garbage
again. 1

Altmer: I’m going to hunt down the one that decided to include this AOR nonsense on AA and decapitate him (or her) with a very blunt axe. Even sitting through one song is a pain. 1

Ill Nino: Dead new world Ill Nino: Dead new world

2/10

Lord K: Plague metal inbound! Someone please, please, fucken pleeeeease make this kind of music illegal. Fuck you. 2

InquisitorGeneralis: Ill Nono, this nu-metal wankery can suck mi pipi because it is terrible. Why did this band get back together? 2

Habakuk: Maybe it’ll be less boring if you stop sucking? 2

CadenZ: Modern US metal with zero penis power and
annoying fucken congas and shit mixed all too high. I’ll quote Cannibal
Corpse when I now undertake the task of reading your horoscope, Ill
Pussies: “I. Will. Kill. You.” 2

Altmer: Hahaha. I don’t fucken think so, guys.
Angsty nu-metal that was decent at best ten years ago, and by now… nope.
I hope this lot of hijos de puta get eaten by rabid crocodiles. 2

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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