GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – January 2009

Audio Autopsy – January 2009

01/01/09  ||  Global Domination

Deeds Of Flesh: Of what's to come Deeds Of Flesh: Of what’s to come

6.8/10

Lord K: At times they cook up some insanely fine
riffing (opener “Waters of space” is a great example) and those double
kicks sure do their job. Hysterical and technical death metal with a
somewhat muddy production that leaves me too exhausted after a few songs
to be able to enjoy it completely. Definitely better than fellow
technicians Beneath The Massacre (also in this edition), but not much.
Recommended tune: Pick any one coz it all sound the same. Another “meh”
experience in one of the weakest AA in a long time. 5

Kampfar: It’s not like “Of what’s to come” etched
itself into my brainstem because of its unique and original nature, but
impressive skills coupled with a knack for songwriting, aka easy on the
wank, makes this dish of tech death both edible and enjoyable. 7

The Duff: Deeds get praise from all directions,
especially witnessed in bands following in their footsteps. I’ve never
been one to understand the appeal, even if the couple of albums I’ve
heard, “Reduced to ashes” and “Crown of thorns”, are pretty spiffy –
once brutal and nothing stimulating, they seem to have recently taken
after all the bands who subtlety integrate the Deeds sound into a more
colorful style of death metal. Apparently this is the “same ol’ Deeds”,
but they’ve sure fooled me; this sounds fresher than what I’m used to,
with riffs venturing further than the top three strings, and overall,
this is a commendable effort. In the end, though, it doesn’t work one
hundred percent in their favour – you get the impression that it’s more
like an extra coat of paint, as if some of the riffs were written before
deciding to jump upon the tech death bandwagon. 7

Abyss: Compared to Beneath the Massacre the Dudes
Of Flesh are mastercraftsmen in the death metal field, but in the grand
scheme of things they’re just middleclass workers who do their job
without much bravado, but with a good amount of effort. 6

Seker: I really hated the material from this latest
Deeds effort the first time I heard it. It sounded like the same sort
of twiddly-widdly-bing-boing crap you get out of Psycroptic nowadays,
and I was similarly disappointed when I compared it with their back
catalogue. Luckily, I gave “Of What’s to Come” another chance, and I
ended up buying it before this AA was even announced. I’m really glad I
did, because this is actually a lot better than Deeds of Flesh’s last
album, which was certainly no slouch. It’s a somewhat radical departure
from their usual sound in that incorporates a lot of modern tendencies
like technical melodic soloing and somewhat obvious breakdown sections,
but what sets Deeds of Flesh apart is that they are actually able to
pull this style off without sacrificing any of their old songwriting
style. It’s still as intricate, inaccessible, and brutal as ever, but
they’ve given it a new coat of paint. I’d highly recommend this one if
you like anything from Suffocation to Necrophagist to Gorguts to Crimson
Massacre to… hell, if you like death metal, just check this one out. 9

Kreator: Hordes of chaos Kreator: Hordes of chaos

6.4/10

Lord K: Sometimes Kreator hint at their old selves
on this recording, which is nice. Most of the time they churn out some
modern thrash metal that most of us could do without since we have the
old classic albums to listen to. It’s nice to see that Mille and his fag
friends can still thrash a little, and every now and then I even nod my
head approvingly. It’s a fucken wonder that I once loved Mille’s vocals
though, coz seriously – they aren’t exactly fantastic. Recommended
tune: The title track. There’s a reason it’s put first, you know. 6

Kampfar: For fuck’s sake, I’ve heard babies cry
less annoying than how Mille sounds whilst singing, snarling, sneering,
whatever, my point being that his vocal chords obviously are close
related to, or infected by, the almighty suck. Oh well, the music ain’t
bad at all, the up-tempo, energetic and quite angry one dimensional
thrash, that is. I salute the energy, I piss on the croak baby. 5

The Duff: I can’t understand early Kreator; I’m
sure it’s some of the finest thrash ever written, but for now it’s like
rubbing barbed-wire around my gnads, back and over the top of my head
and in a see-saw motion up and down my ass crack. I even had to walk out
on them during a live show; they just can’t measure up to SYL
and Vader, in my humblest of opinions. Now what do I think of new
Kreator? This is some alright stuff, but as I’m sure would be the case
with the two albums released prior, nothing that makes me produce
excessive quantities of man-margarine. I doubt this’ll ever be a band
I’ll ever fully comprehend the adoration over, but on the other hand,
comparatively, I sincerely regret giving Metallica a 5 for “Death
Magnetic”. 6

Abyss: Fuck me with a three-pronged fork, that’s
all I can say. Just when I thought Kreator was peaking with “Violent
revolution” they hit me right across the face with “Enemy of God” and
now, 3 years after that one I’m once again pleasantly bruised and
abused. The riffs, leads, vocals, drums, it’s all here. While there’s a
melodic side to Kreator now a days I feel it doesn’t detract anything
from the aggression and punch of the music. It is only at times that
things get too saccharine, but not often enough for me to really care. 8

Seker: Holy shit, the first riff on the second song
of this album is just a guy hitting a harmonic over and over! I don’t
know about you, but if that had been the first song I’d heard off of
this album, I’d have given up, but luckily, they put that little shitter
about five minutes in. Have you heard “Enemy of God”? Groovy thrash
riffs mixed in with some Gothenburg-sounding stuff, right? This is like
that, except a little angrier. For what it’s worth, this is a pretty
catchy album that might satisfy fans of old In Flames looking for
something a bit meaner, or maybe those that got their rocks off to the
melodic parts on Kataklysm’s “Shadows and Dust”. Pretty good album, but
definitely not “Coma of Souls”, if you catch my drift. Taste the
rainbow! 7

The Faceless: Planetary duality The Faceless: Planetary duality

6.2/10

Lord K: So, in the competition between Beneath The
Massacre, Deeds Of Flesh and The Faceless – these guys win. Über-über
technical death metal with some Meshuggah influenced breaks here and
there. Sounds like your cup of tea? Computerized tech death, and I mean
that as in overusing ProTools/Cubase when it comes to cutting the
guitars tight and all. Recommended tune: In this mess you can choose
whichever. It’s hardly about songs anyways. 6

Kampfar: Hmm, isn’t naming your band The Faceless
band like saying: “We have no identity”? Extremely lame joke aside, this
album is namely really rather interesting, progressive tech death the
name of the game. I wouldn’t mind if the guitars had been a tad meatier,
and the drums a notch or two less clicky/sucky, but “Planetary duality”
is nonetheless an album I recommend to those who prefer their death
with a twist. Oh, the clean vocals need to go as well, ones fortunately
not scattered all over the place. 7

The Duff: I can understand why The Faceless became
the new darlings of technical metal with the release of their last
album, “Akeldama”, if this here is anything to form an opinion on;
apparently they’ve upped the ante on “Planetary Duality” – the
musicianship here is very slick, a style advocated by bands like
Necrophagist all those years ago. Okay, so I reckon this album is
incredible, but it has a couple of glaring drawbacks – it’s incredibly
sparse on brand new material; its proggy, concept album-like nature
doesn’t work, especially considering it cuts the album length
drastically when removed; the clean vocals suck – overall, this could be
contender for album of the year, as it stands, I’m disappointed in a
band I thought I’d never give much attention to in the first place. Once
more Pär Olofsson bedazzles – sometimes I wonder how he would draw
something simple like a bowl of fruit or two monkeys fucking – probably
with razor wire in place of all the hairy bits. Eeeeeeeeew… I hate
kiwi-fruit… 8

Abyss: Proggy death metal if the slightly more brutal variety, how does that sound? Pretty good if you ask me. 6

Seker: Sounds like a broken vacuum cleaner built
buy Meshuggah trying to suck up the first Cynic album. The decent cover
art does nothing to remedy this fact: under the surface, it’s standard
shorthaired death metal built to new millennium specifications. 4

Devian: God to the illfated Devian: God to the illfated

6.2/10

Lord K: I get some Immortal vibes here and there
though I wouldn’t say this is a black metal band by a longstretch. They
throw in some quite fine ideas and interesting arrangements with an
obvious skill for playing their instruments. But it just doesn’t grab
me. Devian mixes alot of influences together and somehow ends up getting
an own identity without being the least original. Recommended tune:
“Awaiting doom”. 5

Kampfar: Devian is not exactly a groundbreaking and
original lot, but their mix of different genres feels kinda fresh and
exciting anyhow, so, at least when compared to the norm, they somewhat
are. If only a bit. Melodic Extreme-Metal Light is by the way a fucking
brilliant way to sum their quality shit up. 7

The Duff: A decent black metal band, but nothing
exceptional; the financial backing has gone in, as the sound is very
rich, but the music is quite average. 5

Abyss: “Ninewinged serpent” was not a bad album,
although it did suffer from some pretty mediocre songwriting. On the
follow-up Legion and Emil seem to have flogged themselves and their band
members sufficiently to come up with an album that, while not an
immediate classic, at least keeps my interest up through out the whole
recording. Compared to other bands in the death/thrash genre I’d say
Devian are good but not Dimension Zero-great. 7

Seker: Legion, former singer of Marduk, has a new
band, and it’s surprisingly good. It’s a sort of black/death metal
blend, with the more death metal parts of the music sounding like Zyklon
channeling Morbid Angel with some groove-based parts. These are
interspersed with melodic sections reminiscent of the lead guitar
playing on Marduk’s “Heaven Shall Burn”: classically influenced
harmonies with a bit of an evil Iron Maiden thing to them. These are the
moments where the band really shines; they’ve got a talent for layered
melody you usually don’t see nowadays. It’s not the most original stuff
in the world, but it’s a lot better than the stuff I’m used to hearing
when the old AA train comes ‘round. 7

Beneath The Massacre: Dystopia Beneath The Massacre: Dystopia

5.6/10

Lord K: I strongly believe that you have to be
somewhat retarded to even have the strength to bare with playing music
like this. Yet another über-technical death metal platoon that is
absolutely all over the place. I can appreciate this in a band like
Necrophagist (but fuck them as well becoz their band leader seems to be a
complete fucken nutsack) but Beneath The Massacre just won’t groove
enough for me to fully enjoy. Impressive musicianship, sure, but
ultimately it boils down to being as fun as having the chance to look at
Kate Beckingsale naked, only problem is that you are Stevie Wonder…
Recommended tune: Can’t really pick a specific song in this chaos. 4

Kampfar: Tech death tends to be more about tech
than death, more wank than fuck, if you like, but in the case of Beneath
The Massacre we are talking a 1:1 ratio. Sure, the Canucks in question
are all over the place, but they haven’t forgot to add bottom, which
means you, and I, have something to hold onto while pummeled by
instrumental wizardry. The vocalist is also good, a meaty growl he
sports. 8

The Duff: These guys are insanely talented, it’s
true, but I’ve never been drawn into their style of tech death; I think
it’s the overly simple stuff they tie in the complex with. The
production isn’t helping heaps, and along with the vocals, although I
can find myself recommending this to many, I consider “Dystopia” an
affair unlikely to cause enthusiasm. I do prefer this more than the last
album, though, as they’ve diminished the hardcore, “catchier” style to
their songwriting, and I know bands that would give their Grandmother a
live hand-grenade for Christmas in exchange for the skills on display
here, but there is a lack of song-structuring that makes this technical
death metal for the “brootal” fan – definitely not my thing unless
you’re Hour of Penance. Musically a nine, I’m not one to judge them on
the clothes they wear, so personal preference brings this to a: 7

Abyss: Tricksy fixy wacka-wacka bleep-metal. As impressive and violent BTM’s
death metal are, it’s hard to sustain attention for a full 30 min, it’s
just a little bit too spastic. I like it, but considering Slayer made
30 min feel like 2 seconds without compromising on the technicalities I
guess the problem must lie in the songwriting. 6

Seker: Now this is what I thought the new Deeds of
Flesh was going to sound like. Take everything I wrote about that album
and add the phrase “only it sucks” to the end, and you’ve got yourself a
review. These guys are going on tour with Cryptopsy; let’s just say
they deserve each other. 3

The Amenta: nOn The Amenta: nOn

5/10

Lord K: I love the natural kick sound. Taxi… Unlike Kampfar I won’t give these guys a second spin. Simply becoz their futuristic and sooo
innovative metal blows goat cock. And I thought Six Feet Under was the
worst band in this edition. Recommended tune: “On”, the intro. Becoz the
pain only last for 44 seconds in that one. 1

Kampfar: “nOn” is Australia’s answer to “666
international”, minus much of the brilliance, that is. Or perhaps it
needs more than a mere couple of spins to unfold itself into my
fantastic brain? Not unlikely. See, this is rather complex and chaotic
music, so I’m vehement on not passing out a final verdict just yet.
Ergo, not sure if I’ll ever love this shit, but will try a few times
more before I give up on diggin’ it. Cunt. 7

The Duff: I reviewed “The Occasus” for the old site
years back, and I remember thinking that I couldn’t see another album’s
worth of material unless they radically evolved. Here we are with album
number two with almost exactly the same thing, I’m guessing keeping
fans eagerly awaiting this release very content; they’ve sidestepped
becoming a one-trick pony by taking a small lifetime to release the
follow-up to their highly acclaimed debut full-length, and I’m left just
as impressed seeing as I can’t remember the highly acclaimed debut
full-length. Track names like “Rape”, “A.I.D.S.” and “Grandma’s Cookie
Mix Recipe w/ Raisins” definitely don’t hurt the scoring either, and I’m
finding the band has not lost much with the departure of what I would
have thought to be an essential part of their sound in old vocalist
Cessium 137. 7

Abyss: Congratulations, that’s probably the worst
production I’ve heard in a long time. Over-producing the drums much? The
music? Not really sure. Deathy? Whatever. 4

Seker: I was fully prepared to hate this, but it’s
actually not bad. It reminds me a bit of a really noisy version of old
Skinny Puppy doing remixes of some modern death metal band, cutting up
the generic riffs Burroughs style and pasting them back together over
some sheet metal noise to make something vaguely interesting. Better
than Beneath the Massacre, worse than Deeds of Flesh. One caveat: the
metal facets of this music are used more for textural purposes than
anything else, so it might not appeal to someone who listens only to
metal and nothing else. 6

Legion Of The Damned: Cult of the dead Legion Of The Damned: Cult of the dead

4.8/10

Lord K: For some reason these guys always came
across as cashing in on too much attention for no apparent reason. They
aren’t doing anything fantastic with their thrash metal, not at all, and
those quite cool album covers can’t change that. I used to love me some
thrash metal when I was younger, but this specific genre isn’t really
holding up anymore. This lot is just another one of all those fruitless
attempts at re-creating the classic thrash albums we all love. And no,
there’s not one single Megadeth album among those. Competent, fine
production and a huge dose of yawns: Legion Of The Damned. Recommended
tune: Once again the actual title track appears to be the highlight, and
it’s not even particularly swell. 5

Kampfar: Apart from the motherfucking voice-overs,
Colombian necktie for you, “Cult of the dead” is a really rather good
piece of thrash. I’m not about to ejaculate laud and love all over it,
nah ah, but most thrash ensembles I stumble across is far, far worse
than this. 6

The Duff: Not bad, not great; traditional metal
trying to be something else. Although entertaining for the first spins
when listened to with half an ear, this has less to offer than a gay
version of the Bond villain Jaws at a southern decadence blowjob
marathon event. 4

Abyss: I know some hate these guys with a vengeance
but I’m not really sure why. While not being extravagantly
super-fantastic I can always but on one of their albums and find some
entertaining/thrashing songs. Unfortunately the weird and sterile
production kills a lot of the vibe on “Cult of the dead”. 5

Seker: Like Unleashed… only it sucks! And has bad
vocals! And they stole their logo from One Man Army and the Penis
Quartet! Who are also a shitty band! Oh boy! 4

Tankard: Thirst Tankard: Thirst

4.6/10

Lord K: There’s a song called” Myevilfart” on this
one. That’s so hilarious. Almost as hilarious as Tankard’s neverending
beer theme and half-assed thrash metal. I hope my sarcasm is getting
thru ok in text. Recommended tune: “Myevilfart” becoz of the genius
title. 4

Kampfar: Piss at times comes in a color equal to
that of beer, but Tankard isn’t complete urine, just boring, generic
thrash with some of the most inane lyrics ever written. Stale beer,
then. 4

The Duff: Gee, inspired by Slayer and Metallica
much? Shame they haven’t got the energy or dark vibe down, ‘cos
otherwise this ain’t bad; the vocalist sounds like he should be singing
for an entirely different sub-genre, though. 5

Abyss: Never given much time, thought or attention
to Tankard when they don’t have an album out. They have an album out now
and I’m not too worried, I’ll soon forget about them again. 4

Seker: Huhhuhuhuh, hey Beavis I think they like beer, huhuhuhuh also this is decent speed metal but nothing to write home about. 6

Saxon: Into the labyrinth Saxon: Into the labyrinth

4.2/10

Lord K: The day I care about anything Saxon-ish
apart from the song “Crusader” is the day I grow a cocaine factory in in
my face and Metallica is playing there every day. Only material from
the first 4 albums will be allowed. Recommended tune: “Crusader”. And
no, it’s not on this album. 3

Kampfar: Whoa, must kill myself before I grow old. 2

The Duff: I’ve never known much about Saxon, but
I’m digging this, as much as you can enjoy power metal without a table
leg inserted up your ass. The guys are talented, for sure, and still
dishing out the rockin’ tunes – to put this in perspective, considering
their time as a band, they’re kicking the shit out of the new Iced
Earth; it’s almost like unpretentious power metal, but not quite – there
are rules that must be adhered to afterall, y’know, so kinda like
Maiden but with less class. I always thought they were linked to the NWOBHM,
as one of its now less successful forerunners, but at times they sound
more like AC/DC than Priest or the aforementioned legends. The table leg
isn’t all the way in, and I used lube; it’s also an IKEA
coffee table, ideal for resting your feet on when seated upon a sofa
roughly three-quarters of a meter off the ground… so you’re legs slant
down at about a fifty degree angle. 7

Abyss: At first spin I thought this was alright, all the spins after that made me realise I was wrong. This is crap. 3

Seker: Saxon live to rock, which is probably why
they’re still going after all this time. AC/DC does this kind of thing
better, but it’s hard to fault Saxon for going with a well-perfected
formula. 6

Metalium: Incubus - chapter seven Metalium: Incubus – chapter seven

3.8/10

Lord K: Let me write chapter 8. It’s called “Go Fuck Yourselves, Metalium”. Recommended tune: There is none. 2

Kampfar: Hoppla, hoppla, I still don’t care a fig for power metal. 4

The Duff: Iced Earth meets Maiden meets
Nevermore-lite; one minute into “Resurrection” and the vocalist is
getting filthy with talk of facials and raunchy sex – cumming into
faces, singing about needing “something to hold on to”. Yeah, baby! I’m
really enjoying this; good-hearted, fun metal overall, and yet I retired
my shield and BROAD SWORD
(hey-ooooo, talking about my penis there… although it ain’t retired…
them’s just rumors) years ago – surprisingly enjoyable considering the
last time I cherished an Iced Earth album was five years ago. 7

Abyss: Chapter seven?? Fuck me, I must’ve missed something cuz last time I remember Metalium was still on album one. 3

Seker: The only thing worse than really fast power
metal is really slow power metal, because it takes longer to end. Or
maybe this is “mid paced”; I really don’t careeeeeaaaaaauuughh! 3

Six Feet Under: Death rituals Six Feet Under: Death rituals

3.2/10

Lord K: On one side we have Torture Division –
creators of the world’s best death metal. On the opposite side we have
Six Feet Under – creators of the world’s worst death metal. In my
Beneath The Massacre coverage in this edition of AA I mentioned that you
have to be somewhat retarded to to play that kind of technical death
metal. When it comes to Six Feet Under I know for a fact that you ARE retarded if you take a liking in what they create. Recommended tune: Fuck you. 2

Kampfar: Warning, this album features the single
most scary message ever recorded to an answering machine. Fuck you, Iggy
Poop, it’s not nice to make people shit their pants like that. Oh well,
“Death rituals” is pretty much business as usual, as you would expect,
which means there are some good riffs here and there, and a bunch of
boring ones pretty much everywhere else. 4

The Duff: I can’t say I’ve heard worse in a death
metal band; this slow-paced garbage has no appeal – the musicianship is
goddamned horrific, the riffs some real lazy shit, and well, consider me
to never be a fan of Six Feet Under on the strength of this travesty.
Anyone telling me to check out their classic era will get a brick-load
of my dick in their mouth. 1

Abyss: Something must’ve happened to my brain because suddenly, I found myself sorta digging on SFU!
Fucking hell… I still don’t like Chris Barnes vocals, there’s too much
phlegm and too little brutality, but I realized that on more then one
occasion I was actually tapping my fingers and smiling (while the album
was still playing!). If this means that SFU has finally made a decent record or if my retardation is finally kicking in full-gear is anyone’s guess. 6

Seker: Holy shit, Chris Barnes’ voice is so
absolutely and completely shot that it’s not even funny. Even the
occasionally decent groove riffs cannot cover up this fact: it sounds
like he has a cold, or someone is punching him in the stomach. I hope
Seth Putnam gives this band athlete’s foot . 3

Guns N'Roses: Chinese democracy Guns N’Roses: Chinese democracy

2.6/10

Lord K: I think I have to give this album some more
time. 15 years or whatever it took to release it might be enough.
Recommended tune: “Never gonna give you up” by Rick Astley. 4

Kampfar: Apart from the whiny voice of Axl “I’m a
humongous twat” Rose, there is nothing left of the Guns ‘N Overdoses I
once, and to some extent still love. Not very tragic this, as I have
discovered like a 1000 excellent bands since first spinning “Appetite
for destruction” – but, tragedy or not, “Chinese democracy” is still an
overproduced, overdone, incoherent and pathetic piece of irrelevant
drivel. Die. 2

The Duff: It’s taken China from the first time this
album’s title was made public to its release date to register some
annoyance and take a dissatisfied stance with Axl Rose’s latest album –
for the record, this isn’t worth starting a war over, just get some new
intelligence, preferably someone with their finger on the pulse, eh?
This album is some dull material for thirteen years and fuck knows how
much money, and most of it is down to Axl’s abhorrent whiny vocals –
“Street of Dreams” is one of the few saving performances on this record –
as well as the obvious musical clashes due to the separate recording
periods of individual band members; these guys never played as a full
band, if I’m not mistaken. I also can’t agree more with Euth’s third
from last paragraph in his review
read only if you can handle the taste of literary genius seed in your
mouth. There are some catchy moments that remind me of the Guns of old,
but this is not a good album. 3

Abyss: No, no, no, no. This is not how you do it. I
don’t care if “Chinese democracy” has the worlds longest and most
expensive recording history, if no members except a holographic copy of
Axl Rose are still in the band or if people named Bumblefoot are
considered having a “cool” name. The only think I care about is that the
songs on “Chinese democracy” is a fucking joke, just like the title.
There’s nothing very remarkable to be heard here, neither musically
(where are all those great hooks and choruses from “Use your illusions”
and “Appetite…”?) nor vocally (oh fuck, don’t get me started…). It’s
just the world’s longest musical cocktease. Now, who want’s a Dr.
Pepper? Might as well rinse off the bad tatse with something that tastes
even worse, eh? 3

Seker: Ching chong nip nong fong fuck you. 1

Edguy: Tinnitus sanctus Edguy: Tinnitus sanctus

2.4/10

Lord K: I want this Ed guy to fucken die a horrible
fucken death. Then let’s take turns in fucking the corpse. Recommended
tune: You got to be fucken shitting me, recommending a tune here would
be like recommending a sexual transmitted disease to your best friend. 2

Kampfar: Light-hearted heavy/power metal will never
ever float my boat, much rather sink it, but Edguy is anyways a quality
band. Excellent production, good instrumentation, shitty genre. 5

The Duff: Judas Priest still suck, Iron Maiden are
still kicking ass, Saxon are still so-so, why not stick around? Why do
we need Edguy? This is terrible music; the lyrics, the dead-as-fuck
riffs, the lukewarm musicianship and dime-a-dozen vocalist who doesn’t
understand the concept of phrasing to fit the music – just a case of
peaks, troughs and a shit-load of vibrato, to hell with variation. 2

Abyss: For being a power metal band always with one
foot in the cheese-fondue, it’s at least always been possible to
commend Edguy for being talented musicians with a good sense of catchy
melodies. At least it used to be easy. Something happened after
“Mandrake” and I don’t know what. Maybe it was Sammet running out of
ideas, maybe it was the shock of 9/11, maybe it was their true German
“Mambo-Kurt”-heritage that finally took over full force, who knows. But
today Edguy is nothing more than poo on a platter, simple as that. 2

Seker: Power metal is pretty much the worst stuff
in the world. Take some boring chugga-chugga riffs and have some
flower-pickin’ douchemonger sing over that shit in the most homosexual
voice possible (and not Halford homosexual either), throw in some overly
ostentatious solos, and you get… SHIT! 1

Mudvayne: The new game Mudvayne: The new game

2.4/10

Lord K: I can’t say that I know Mudvayne all that
well. I believe they wore masks at one point, or did they? I also
remember that I really dug some of their Faith No More-stolen parts on
some earlier albums. Now there’s a new game in town and it’s called… eh…
“The new game”. I thought I would like this somewhat, but it’s
definitely below my expectations in most areas. Mudvayne’s got some
decent riffs here and there but overall – this is too annoying and
sterile to get much out of, but it works as background music.
Recommended tune: “Dull boy”. 4

Kampfar: “The hate in me” is an exemplification of a
band fighting themselves rather than the world. Buhu, I have darkness
in my soul and I’m all out of tissues. Fuck you guys, try a shotgun and
rid planet piss of your not very needed tribute to Tool, nu-metal and
generic gayness already. Hate is awesome, god damn it. 3

The Duff: Okay, I didn’t give this a chance –
twenty seconds in and I shot over to the new Kreator. Here’s something
that should counterbalance the hasty response to having shit poured into
my ears, thereby sealing your opinion of me as a professional
journalist once and for all – “The new game” is shit. 1

Abyss: Are these clowns still alive? What’s next, a
guest-mic from Fred Durst? Mudvayne sounds like metal for people who
don’t like metal. 2

Seker: Not if you were the last band in the universe. 2

Unearth: The march Unearth: The march

2.4/10

Lord K: The cheese is back in town! Unearth blows
with their metalcore and the feeble attempt at incorporating melodic
death metal riffs into the mix is just silly. I long for the day when
each and every band of this genre is dead. Recommended tune: Me
recommending metalcore? Not in this edition. Either. 2

Kampfar: Unearth rhymes with unbirth, hint, hint,
and is an American shit band who obviously found it wise to lay generic
core vocals on top of melodic death, or something. Piss off. 3

The Duff: Great musicianship, lame music; metalcore
used to be better than this, didn’t it? I thought it started with
Killswitch Engage, Shadows Fall and Lamb of God; early albums from such
by now well established bands walk all over what Unearth have to offer,
as I consider “The March” to be a disgraceful affair – I’m hearing
melodeath riffs (and leads, yer cheeky bastards!) that were
written by In Flames ten years ago, fer fuck’s sake; absolutely nothing
new. When this band lets loose, I get the common, tiresome “let’s slow
diz biatch right da fuck down” approach adopted by such minimally gifted
metal bands that need to disguise the dull as all fuck riffing, an
aspect that should not go unnoticed by someone into metal for the music
first and the need to break faces second… maybe getting laid third, ‘cos
cattle decapitation and dying fetuses sure do get the ladies moist –
this shit is boring, no matter how angry fat people on subways make you
feel. 2

Abyss: I’m sorry, I just can’t get myself to love
metalcore, especially not this faceless, bland version of pissed-off men
in tanktops. 3

Seker: DUN DUN DUN widdly widdly EAST BAY HARDCORE BREAKDOWN! Wow, this shit is pretty terrible. 2

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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