GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – February 2007

Audio Autopsy – February 2007

01/02/07  ||  Global Domination

Impious: Holy murder masquerade Impious: Holy murder masquerade

6/10

Lord K: When I went thru this album I thought “Hey,
nice Swedish guitar sound. I didn’t expect a band from Singapore to be
able to get a production as good as this”. Then while checking up on the
band I learn that they are Swedish so… hey… no wonder the production is
good and all that jazz. What was the name of those Singaporean fuckers
then? Impiousity? Impenisity? Impossibility? Fuck if I knew, what I do
know though is that Impious deliver their death metal with style and
precision while throwing in some more melodic passages here and there.
It’s good, just not something very special. 6

Ripper Bendix: Odds are twenty to one that K will mix those fuckers up with IMPIETY from Singapore (Note by The Lord: You are not fooling me, I know you read my comments when this AA was drafted, bitch).
But hey, it happened to me as well, but as I found out that songtitles
like “Bestial Genocidal Goatvomit” were missing I kinda noticed it. As
already mentioned (as it will be mentioned) in my review of this CD,
Impious manage to pull off a pretty damn sexy neo-Deathblastorama
somewhere between In Flames and Hypocrisy, as so many others before
them. 7

The Abyss: This Swedish death metal band impressed
me greatly on “Hellucinate” and I’m pleased to say that whatever they
did right then is still here for “Holy Murder Masquerade”. The guitars
have a very Dismember-like sound and feel to them, and that coupled with
terrific growls, nice basslines and some solid songwriting makes for a
very enjoyable album. 7

Desert Eagle: You know, I really enjoy a good
sample from a movie. Let me tell you, Impious had a fucking perfect one
too. I mean shit, it was badass as fuck. Who even cares about music
anymore? 8

Syrrok: How can you be a band from Sweden and NOT
have hook-ups to a decent recording studio. Sweden has metal recording
studios like ducks have feathers. The point I’m making is that these
average sounding songs would sound… well… they’d still sound average but
much more audible. I’m not sure this project is going anywhere too
fast. 3

Fishermane:

Part 1:

Impious (adj.) – lacking piety or reverence for a god

Boring (adj.) – so lacking in interest as to cause mental weariness

Part 2:

Penis (noun) – the male organ of copulation

Part 3:

Wit (noun) – a person of exceptional intelligence

Part 4:

Lack (noun) – to be missing or deficient

5

The County Medical Examiners: Olidous operettas The County Medical Examiners: Olidous operettas

5.6 /10

Lord K: Carcass is dead and The Examiners do very little to bring the corpse to life. General Surgery is way, way better. 4

Ripper Bendix: Gore-band revival or what? Naturally
everyone wants his share and not all of them manage to funnel their
ideas into a sensible concept. Oh, hello County Medical Examiners! 4

The Abyss: Opening track, “Caspers dictum”, paints
the picture immediately. This clever inversion of Carcass’ “Corporal
jigsore quandary” announces a 30 min unabashed declaration of love to
all things Carcass. It’s not really essential since it’s all been done
before, but damn it’s entertaining to hear. 7

Desert Eagle: They make it no secret that they’re
trying to sound like early Carcass. And stupid gimmick aside, they’re
pretty good. It’s just too bad that later Carcass was like a thousand
times better. 6

Syrrok: There’s all kinds of “secrets” and even
more “hilarious secrets” about this band apparently. Who cares. I dig
the sounds that come out of their assholes. Great tunes. Really, good
effort. You totally sound like Carcass. 5

Fishermane: The positive aspect that underlies the
recording of a “worship” album is that as an artist, you have an
excellent foundation and time-tested musical blueprints at your
disposition to record your tribute. The bad thing is that if you fuck it
up, you’re not only jeopardizing your own integrity, but you risk
desecrating the musical legacy left by the very band being emulated.
Fortunately for us (and Carcass), TCME have
simultaneously managed to reproduce that classic goregrind sound, while
still sounding as fresh as a skeletally triturated gullet about to be
exsiccated. (NOTE: As enjoyable as this album is, it most certainly
isn’t for everybody.) 8

Legion Of The Damned: Sons of the jackal Legion Of The Damned: Sons of the jackal

5.3 /10

Lord K: LOTD’s album covers were always shitloads
better than their boring thrash. The only good thing about this band,
except for the mentioned album covers, is the fact that the vocalist
reminds me a little of Gustaf of Defleshed. Only Gus is alot better. So
is Defleshed. Overrated crap. 3

Ripper Bendix: There must have been a mix-up in the
packaging plant! They gave me the first album again and just repackaged
it! Wait, you mean that they actually sound exactly the same on the
second album and that it is definitely possible to shuffle both CD’s in
your player without noticing a difference because it’s always exactly
the same? Now, fuck me sideways. This is pretty sad when you come to
think about it, right? I know that I went totally apeshit about the
first album, but now after several spins and the follow-up album I would
like to say the following: You bore the living mother FUCK right out of me. I feel better now, thanks. 3

The Abyss: Another fine thrash album from Germany,
this time from (relatively) new band Legion Of The Damned. I liked
“Malevolent Rapture” and it’s nice to see the band hasn’t dropped the
ball on their sophomore effort. Like a sharp, rusted Flying V forcibly
inserted in your Bay area. 7

Desert Eagle: Did anyone else read this band’s name
and think of Legion of Doom? Of course you did because you like
wrestling like an idiot would. The same kind of idiot that would listen
to generic black metal like this (Note by The Lord: I hope you don’t label this as black metal, but actually mean something else… For fuck’s sake). 5

Syrrok: Loud ass thrashilicious death trax! Metal
Warriors play this upbeat metal as angrily as I’ve ever heard. They
make this edition of AA about 55% more classy. 8

Fishermane: You have to give LOTD some credit. They almost
fool you into believing that this is brand new material, as opposed to a
rather not-so-subtle yet moderately fulfilling rehash of their previous
release, “Malevolent Rapture”. Since I constantly recycle all of my own
material (jokes, pick-up lines, rants on the lack individualism
portrayed by those who constantly repeat themselves and fail to promote
new and original ideas, etc), it’s cool with me. 6

Echoes Of Eternity: The forgotten goddess Echoes Of Eternity: The forgotten goddess

5/10

Lord K: You know I’m a sucker for female vocals. That doesn’t automatically mean I dig every band with a whore doing those vocals. EOE
kinda appeals to me though. Their half metal lacks a killer production
but the tunes and the cunt’s singing makes up for it. Sing-a-long music
with less testicles than Britney Spears. All good though, and this album
will stay in my compilation. For a few weeks anyway. And ofcourse I’d
make sweet, sweet luvin’ to the bitch, just becoz she has a good voice
and deserves it. 7

Ripper Bendix: I have no clue who this is but it
sounds kinda nice for a band with a metaphysical approach to their
bandname. “Nice” doesn’t mean “good” in case somebody’s missed it. All
in all average and not worth going all “Hey, I have a KILLER line for next AA” on my part, because I am tired. 6

The Abyss: Utterly forgettable gothmetal that’s
been done to death by numerous Norwegians. The only thing I can remember
after 2 spins is that the girl sings in French in one song and that she
has huge fake tits. Wooptidoo. 2

Desert Eagle: The music is decent and the vocals
are pretty damn good. However, this is not true when they are combined.
Together it just sounds awkward and disjointed and doesn’t really work
for me. It’s like sad female vocals with somewhat technical guitar
riffs. Pass. 5

Syrrok: If Evanescence wrote tighter and more
aggressive riffs rather than chord-clusterfucks, than this is what
they’d sound like. The lady has the perfect “I’m wearing angel wings
but only to show the dichotomy of good/evil” voice. This seems like a
good band that has some more hurdles to cross before escaping L.A. 4

Fishermane: At first, Echoes of Eternity just reminded me of your somewhat average INSERT YOUR TYPICAL GOTH METAL FEMALE SINGER BAND LABEL HERE
ensemble, but then I found out that the vocalist is originally from
Quebec. That means she probably looks fine as hell, on top of being
freaky as sin. Definite bonus points (and seriously, the music isn’t
that bad…). 6

Fear My Thoughts: Vulcanus Fear My Thoughts: Vulcanus

5/10

Lord K: Fear My Penis. Fear My Balls. Fear My
Asscrack. The possibilities for a better name than “Fear My Thoughts”
are definitely there. It’s a great fucken thing these guys’ music
definitely stands on another level than their moniker, or they’d be
fucked. FMT’s semi-brutal metal is really fucken catchy at times while
being quite repetitive at others. In the end it’s quite good actually
with a few quite fantastic (yeah, really) riffs thrown in. The cheating
(listen to the faster parts) drummer takes away a point though. 6

Ripper Bendix: Vulc-Anus. Hehehhe. Isn’t it fucken
sad when a writer has to fall back on Beavis and Butt-Head just to fill a
few lines? Fear my Thoughts don’t exactly surprise or impress me, but
the melodies sure got my dick hard every now and then, in case you
wanted to know this delicate detail from my private life. 6

The Abyss: Melodeath. Not as anemic as Blinded
Colony but it’s not exactly a rectal shot of Vitamin C either! Some
decent clean vocals show up here and there but by now, who gives a crap?
3

Desert Eagle: So if Blinded Colony are like In Flames then that would make FMT
like Soilwork. I swear Speed is on this album. I guess it’s hard to
come up with something original these days so everyone is content with
sounding like others. It’s probably for the best because imagine a world
where every band is as unique as Horse the Band. I shudder at the
thought. 6

Syrrok: Terrifically produced metal band that could use some lessons in song-writing dynamics. Each song strangles along the same BPM and structure which can grow tiresome. But I can’t fault these guys for producing the fuck outta this album. 5

Fishermane: All I know about Vulcanism and its
respective derivatives is that Spock was a Vulcan, and I’ve always been
quite fond of Spock (I mean, who isn’t?). Thus, it’s only natural that I
attempt to replicate authentic Vulcan thinking by commenting on this
album in the most logical fashion conceivable, just as my mane Spock
would: Don’t buy this. It’s not good. 4

Nahemah: The second philosophy Nahemah: The second philosophy

4.8 /10

Lord K: Another utterly boring constellation who
serve the God of Suck. This gives me absolutely nothing and after
suffering through 6 songs of the same fucken crap I decided it was time
to delete it from my harddrive, never to return. 2

Ripper Bendix: You know this Monty Python sketch
where a guy is served food and he comments on everything with
“appalling”? Well, this is how I feel RIGHT FUCKEN NOW! Appalling. 1

The Abyss: The band cites Dark Tranquillity and
Opeth as influences and who am I to disagree? It’s quite competent,
that’s for sure, and while the songs may be a bit too long it’s never
predictable and hey, sometimes a saxophone IS ok in metal. 6

Desert Eagle: I so cherish little nuggets like
this. Every AA there is always a band that I’ve never heard of that ends
up being awesome. Ok, maybe not every one, actually this probably only
happens like once a year. Still, it happened. Fuck and this year just
started. I guess it’s all downhill from here. 9

Syrrok: Experimental stuff on Lifeforce Records,
quite a strange mix. This album has grown on me with a few listens. I
respect anyone in the AA purgatory who gives something original a shot.
What drives home some of the “proggy” parts are the very neat vocals.
Tough and neat. These guys like Rush I bet. 6

Fishermane: Nahemah had me convinced until I
noticed they named one of their songs “Phoenix”, and then came “Today
Sunshine Ain’t The Same”. I suppose it could have been worse, one of the
AA bands actually has a song called “Like A Butterfly In A Storm”. Oh
wait… 5

Sirenia: Nine destinies and a downfall Sirenia: Nine destinies and a downfall

4.8 /10

Lord K: Sirenia’s got their moments. Naturally, all
focus is on the chick singing. She’s really fucken good. This half
metal sounds exactly as you’d expect from a Norwegian band with a female
vocalist. I dig it and it’s the winner for me this month. One last
thing though, the chick’s pronunciations can be quite irritating at
times. Especially when she replaces words with a “d” in the end (such as
“friend”) with a “t”. Some more work on that and you’ll be fine. 7

Ripper Bendix: A bit of Therion, a bit of Nightwish, a bit of 80’s pop. To be frank, I expected NOTHING here, but now this album is my winner for this month, hands down and no questions asked. 8

The Abyss: I liked Sirenia’s debut album, “At sixes
and sevens”, but after that I lost track of the band (or maybe I just
got them mixed up with Tristania, Theatre of Tragedy or Trail of
Tears?). “Nine dicks in a deep hole” sounds pretty much like “At
sixes…”, maybe a bit more electronic parts now? Who cares, as long as
it’s not Nightfish, I’m happy. 5

Desert Eagle: Just another cumdumpster goth shit band. Pay it no attention. 1

Syrrok: If Sirenia and Echoes of Eternity toured you would end up with another Hurricane Katrina (American PARUMPH JOKE! Get it!? Cuz of all the tears, bitches! THAAAAAATS MY LIFE!). Ok, seriously guys. Fart. 3

Fishermane: I once rented an adult film entitled
“Nine Destinies and a trip downtown”. It was about 9 strippers (by
coincidence, all named Destiny) who decided to resort to fellatio in
order to provide for themselves after their futile efforts to form a
subpar metal band went sour. The movie was about as bland and
uninspiring as this album. I’ll attempt a much more objective and fair
approach for my full Sirenia review which should be up shortly but for
now, fuck it. This is the kind of fairy shit that appeals to Lord K, not
me. (Note to the Lord: And trust me, I thought that to myself even before I went to read your comments in the draft, haha). 5

Profundi: The omega rising Profundi: The omega rising

4.5 /10

Lord K: Decent-at-best black metal written and
performed by ex-Naglfar vocalist Jens. He should have stayed with
Naglfar coz this is lightyears away from that kind of quality. The
programmed drums aren’t exactly giving me a boner either. Jens’ vocals
sure are nice and hysterical and some nice black metal riff-fests can be
found every now and then. That’s always something, I guess. Just not
enough quality, nor catchy enough for The Lord. 4

Ripper Bendix: I almost gave this 6 points because
after a while you come to the point of seeing things that aren’t
actually there. Good music for example. Thank papa Satan for cheap booze
and expensive medication. 3

The Abyss: Melodic black metal with some
deliciously chaotic vocals from ex-Naglfar singer Jens Rydén. The music
is not very surprising given his previous band, but it’s a very
wellcrafted and entertaining piece of work Rydén offers up. Highly
recommended. 8

Desert Eagle: Trve black metal complete with
haunting organs and free wine tasting. If black metal wasn’t so
intensely gay then maybe this would be enjoyable. They always gotta fag
it up though. 5

Syrrok: This months “super-scary” entry. These tunes reek of wannabe-Emperor stuff. A shame for sure. 2

Fishermane: To this day, I’ve yet to hear anything
composed by Naglfar. Lack of preconceptions aside, I wish I could say
more than after repeated listens, this album still fails to stimulate
any personal interest in anything related to vocalist Jens Rydén, pre-
or post-Naglfar (unless of course he picks up a keyboard, some Jordache
jeans and pumps out some real jams, 80’s styles). 5

Rotting Christ: Theogonia Rotting Christ: Theogonia

4.5 /10

Lord K: Another one of all those bands who have
been around for fucken ever and released about a million albums. Or at
least it feels like that. Rotting Christ might be having an awesome
moniker but that’s pretty much everything that’s awesome about this band
too. Some riffs sounds like something 7 year old’s could have written. 3

Ripper Bendix: No clue, no ideas, but a super-duper
bandname. Welcome to the exciting world of Rotting Christ. And when I
mean “exciting” I of course mean “dreadful”. They started out a million
years ago with some really good potential. Unfortunately they completely
failed to make something out of it. 3

The Abyss: This band has been around forever and
I’ve never really bothered with them, but apparently they tend to change
sound with every album. A commendable effort and while “Theogonia” is
an interesting and eclectic mix of various kinds of metal (a mix of old
and new Samael might be a good comparison) I still feel strangely
detached from the songs. It feels a bit soulless somehow. 6

Desert Eagle: I don’t know man, I’ve always had a
soft spot for this band since their name is so awesome and they actually
released a damn good album. “Genesis”, right? Well anyway, the soft
spot is quickly turning into crib death with each successive album. It’s
just sad really. 5

Syrrok: All of Rotting Christ’s stuff has bored me
to balls in the past. This one has a bit more atmosphere to it which I
can dig. Unfortunately the majority of it is still misguided. I dig
“Enuma” if you’re looking for one track to highlight. 4

Fishermane: Another classic example of a band who’s
been in the game for a while, released a shitload of albums with
overlapping death & black metal influences, never got mass
recognition but still managed to build a respectable fanbase over the
years. While this won’t exactly land these guys the utmost respect of
metal fans worldwide, it’s interesting enough to warrant a few genuine
listens. 6

Funeral: From these wounds Funeral: From these wounds

4.3 /10

Lord K: Someone wake me up when this is over coz
Funeral sure as fuck put me to sleep with their crap doom (I guess
that’s what they wanna call it) metal. And someone, please, punch the
vocalist in the mouth, alot of times. 2

Ripper Bendix: There is only one band with the word “Funeral” in its name that I listen to, and that’s quite obviously DARK
Funeral. After listening to this CD, absolutely nothing about this has
changed, except for the fact that I’d like to arrange a nice little
funeral on my own. Jesus fucking Christ, this shit is TEDIOUS! 2

The Abyss: Beautiful, atmospheric doom with clean
mournful vocals that brings Katatonia to mind even if Funeral are more
doom and less pop than aforementioned band. The vocalist has the same
“dead” kind of quality to his voice as Henri from Rapture and
Katatonia-Jonas, even though the Norwegian dialect ruins it a bit for
me. 6

Desert Eagle: FUCK this
shit drags. Like me on a Tuesday night on that street corner between the
liquor store and gun store. I get some pretty interesting clients down
there. I only do anal though because I’m not gay. 3

Syrrok: The textures alone on this album make it
worth it for me. Doom music always seems more “artistic” than yer
standard thrash/death/black affair, but it’s especially true on this
one. Nice long, sad tunes. Perfect for any raven-haired seductress to
cut up her “straight-edge” marked wrists to. 7

Fishermane: Who thought doom metal could be so much
fun? The title track really took me by surprise, an almost tedious but
undeniably majestic composition that pushed me to actually ask my
linguistically-inclined sister which adjective I should employ to
describe it (she told me to fuck off and not bother her with such
insignificant requests, so I chose “majestic” myself). Unfortunately,
Fun-eral wasn’t able to recreate such splendor for the entire album as
some of the songs seem to just drag on with an almost agonizing
redundance. Nonetheless, fans of the genre might find this to be quite
remarkable. 6

Moonsorrow: V - Hävitetty Moonsorrow: V – Hävitetty

3.7 /10

Lord K: UHU tekstiililiima on kehitetty kankaitten, kuten puuvillan ja erilaisten keinokuitujen liimaamiseen. 2

Ripper Bendix: And here I was thinking the LAST
fucken AA was a nightmare. And then Moonsorrow comes along, and there’s
a shitload more bands to check out still and they all look equally
“promising”. Yksi, kaksi, TAXI! 2

The Abyss: Two songs in 56 min and it’s NOT
funeral doom! That’s a surprise for ya. The songs may be in Finnish but
that doesn’t matter when Moonsorrow create epic and interesting metal
like this; one foot firmly planted in Edge Of Sanity-death and the other
in that elusive Finnish melancholy Rapture, Swallow the Sun and
Sentenced tap(ped) into so well. 7

Desert Eagle: So you hear the name Moonsorrow and
you think to yourself, “Man there is no way that a band named that could
be good.” And you would be right. That is if Moonsorrow wasn’t so
awesome. Which they aren’t. Good thinking. 3

Syrrok: Flutes and snow wrapped up in a black tear.
This variety of sorrowful gloom skipping music never got my goat, but
then again my goat doesn’t travel much on fiords. 4

Fishermane: The only Moon sorrow I know went something like this: “WAAAH!!
I’m the moon! Nobody likes me! I wish I was a “real” planet! How come I
couldn’t be a star, or a galaxy or something cool!? I don’t even have a
real name, I’m just “The Moon”!! Sure, people on Earth visit me every
so often, but that’s just because I’m close and deep down they’d really
prefer to go to Mars! I’m so alone…”
4

Blinded Colony: Bedtime prayers Blinded Colony: Bedtime prayers

3.7 /10

Lord K: I always thought this was a grunge band.
But now I realize that I got this band mixed up with Blind Melon or
something. Either way, they can go fuck themselves, both of them. I
despise this American-sounding “aggro” metal to the fullest and I will
make it my mission to mention that as often as possible. Blinded Colony
sounds exactly like any other band on the market in this genre. You know
the deal, and you should fucken hate the deal too. It doesn’t matter
that these fuck-gums are from Sweden. Give them to Denmark. 3

Ripper Bendix: Bedtime prayers? Yeah, I sure as
fucken hell will pray every damn night from now on that this band won’t
fucken show up under my fucking bed! 2

The Abyss: Let’s see… “Blinded by fear” was At The
Gates most famous song. In Flames named one of their albums “Colony”…
Am I right in assuming you morons play melodic Gothenburg-death, about 6
years after that particular horse died from blunt force trauma?
Boooring. 3

Desert Eagle: I probably would have been able to
appreciate this more if it weren’t for Scar Symmetry. You see there has
been a resurgence lately of good In Flames-ish style bands and this one
falls just a little short of greatness. Still worth a listen though. 7

Syrrok: Just to show you all once again how shit
comparisons are, I saw these guys compared to In Flames somewhere.
Could not be further off the mark it you were a blind archer with AIDS. I respect the riffs, I shake my head at the hardcore-esque vocals. Way to give up, team. 4

Fishermane: And yet again, an album forged in the
forgotten realm of lost generic metal bands manages to emerge into our
sphere of existence. Yay. Go back to certain limbo, ya bastards. 3

Sinner: Mask of sanity Sinner: Mask of sanity

3.3 /10

Lord K: If you want hardrock that’s done the right
way, check out Sweden’s Bullet. Stay right the fuck away from Cheese
Factory Sinner. 2

Ripper Bendix: The return of the poodle from hell.
Mat Sinner… The thumbscrew of power metal. Not my cup of tea, never was,
never will be. NO THANKS! 3

The Abyss: A bit surprised to hear a genuine “Denim
& Leather”-heavy metal band in AA. Sinner aren’t too shabby though.
If you can imagine a mix of Saxon, Sentenced and Rainbow, you’re fairly
close to the sound of Sinner. This is background music for that
lukewarm beer you have at 5 in the afternoon at Wacken or Sweden Rock
Festival, right before you go check out the A-list bands. 5

Desert Eagle: DEADLY SINNAHHSS!!! Not. 2

Syrrok: Man, when Primal Fear is involved in any
way you know you’re gonna get some stellar material. Or maybe that band
is a bunch of old Germans. This is great heavy rock, especially if you
own a pirate ship. Great guitar masturbation, so I’ll listen twice. 5

Fishermane: (Note by the Mane: I’ve decided to write these comments as viewed through the eyes of a depressed housecat.) Meow… SIGH. Purrrrr…. SIGH. MeowwwwSinnerSucksssssssSIGH… Meow. 3

Mendeed: The dead live by love Mendeed: The dead live by love

3.2 /10

Lord K: To start off an album with a Yngwie lick
and the words “Let’s go!” is absolutely beyond gay. It doesn’t fucken
help that the rest of the album (with a few exceptions, “Gravedigger”
for example) is equally gay. It’s fast but never brutal. It’s wellplayed
but boring. It’s cheesy but not tasty. Mendeed is a stinker. 2

Ripper Bendix: Can’t remember for my fucken life
when I first listened to those guys, but the album I listened to sure
sucked. Let’s put it this way… they stuck to their guns. 2

The Abyss: Power/heavy metal are usually a fucking
pain to endure, but for some arcane reason Mendeed aren’t as horrible as
the name brings you to believe. The vocalist sounds like he wears
eyeliner and sings in Three Random Words and there’s a clear hint of
metalcore in the songwriting, but I still find it kinda ok. At least as
long as I don’t listen to more than two songs in a row… 4

Desert Eagle: I really don’t know what to think. At
first I hated this for no reason. Then I started to enjoy it because it
has sick leads but god damn does the singing suck. So really, who is
this music for? People that hate themselves, but only partly. 6

Syrrok: This band prides themselves on bringing
themes of battle, power, and thrash metal to the genre of metalcore.
fuck you for that Mendeed. I’m taking a shit on your record. 2

Fishermane: Save yourself the trouble and just
re-read any one of my previous inconsequential pseudo-rants about
anything remotely related to heavy/power/whatever metal. There’s no
sense in me even trying to comment on this seriously. 3

Pain Of Salvation: Scarsick Pain Of Salvation: Scarsick

2.8 /10

Lord K: I have absolutely no idea what the fuck
these guys decided to take as far as drugs go, but this is a fucken
disgrace. I know the talent of this band but not even a squadron of
über-talented Martians could have helped these bastards on this piece.
Embarrassing rap vocals is to be found, pretentiousness de fucken luxe
is exactly everywhere and this bullshit makes me wanna fucken kill
people. What a fucken load of super-semen. 2

Ripper Bendix: The 24 hour suck-a-thon continues!
Wheee! Everybody who HASN’T fallen asleep as of yet… Your chance is NOW!
If you are not fuming mad at the band for releasing such utter bullshit
and can’t sleep anyway. 2

The Abyss: It’s always nice to see a band that dare
to experiment and not stay static. In POS’ case they’ve gone from
boring to fucking hideously crappy. Now that’s bold progression for you!
1

Desert Eagle: I have a love/hate relationship with this band. That is to say, I love to hate this band. OOOOH,
BURN! Shit, I bet no one has ever come up with that joke before. I’m
copywriting it right now. You can’t use it unless you pay me like three
dollars. Three dollars that will be used to purchase a large soda. Nice.
3

Syrrok: These guys are pretty old, and their
keyboardist is a bit too Beethoven’ey. Not to be scolded on his skills –
the dude truly takes to a keyboard like a duck takes to water, but I
don’t believe it compliments. Rather it drowns out maybe what is the
better aspect of this band. I could use a lot more strength in these
tunes. 5

Fishermane: Hey Suicide-Bombers, try this next
time. Tape 15 copies of this album to yourself then run towards a crowd
of innocent people while screaming “Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, if I was an eagle, I’d fly, not run!” I doubt you’ll actually injure anybody, but I’m sure it’ll be pretty fucking funny to witness… 4

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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