GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – August 2011

Audio Autopsy – August 2011

01/08/11  ||  Global Domination

Origin: Entity Origin: Entity

6.8/10

Lord K: There’s a lot of talk about this
Lonerangerstrethwhatever drummer fucko when it comes to Origin.
Obviously he’s an extremely talented skinsman, but I was never into
hyper fast bassdrums in the first place. Still, a joy to listen to even
if I don’t hear much that comes across as incredibly special. Every
other drummer pretty much sounds like they are capable of playing shit
like this these days. Musically, Origin’s technical as all-fuck and
apparently chooses that over actual groove. And that never fucken works
completely in my book. 5

InquisitorGeneralis: Finally, Origin has won me
over. This album has several points where it is a bit over the top, but
overall this is technical, brutal sweetness. 8

Habakuk: There really isn’t much to discuss for me
with an album like this. A wall of decent tech-deathery – some songs are
longer, some are shorter. Alas, it’s just not my genre. 6

CadenZ: Despite the slight conformism, this epic
slab of tech death grinds my innards in just the right way. And with a
drummer like that… well, you can go wrong, but it takes a whole lot of effort. 7

Revenant: Some very good tech death that thankfully
doesn’t descend too deep into the world of technical wankery where only
musicians can appreciate it. Plenty of groove and catchiness (yes
catchiness) throughout. Putting my predictive hat on, I’m bet this to
be this month’s winner, and deservedly so. Aside from the annoying
“Committed”, this is rock solid from start to end. 8

Jungle Rot: Kill on command Jungle Rot: Kill on command

5.8/10

Lord K: By-the-numbers death metal that is
qualitative and groovy. AA-colleagues Deranged could use a few hundred
lessons in Jungle Rot’s School Of Death Metal. 7

InquisitorGeneralis: These veterans do straight-up, groovy, no thrills death metal well. Don’t expect anything you have not heard before though. 6

Habakuk: I don’t know. I should like this stupid Obituary metal, but this band is just not good enough. 5

CadenZ: When all is lost, we’ll still have no
frills death metal with absolutely no new ideas, but still some great
riffs executed with the utmost passion. This album is just that. Without
the riffs. And the passion. 3

Revenant: Now this is some good shit. Death metal
packed with crushing grooves and catchy as fuck, this ties with Origin
for first in this edition for me. Only down side is the drum sound, but
it’s not big issue. 8

In Flames: Sounds of a playground fading In Flames: Sounds of a playground fading

5.6/10

Lord K: Much like The Haunted, In Flames have
re-invented themselves (just not as much as The Haunted) on their latest
piece, all without losing their own identity. Anders’ vocals have never
sounded better or more worked on, but his crooning at the end of each
and every sentence is still extremely annoying. It’s obvious that Björn
isn’t missing Jesper all too much when it comes to composing. This
sounds as much “new” In Flames as it ever did. And “Jester’s door” is a
weird thing of beauty. I applaud In Flames for not playing their shit too safe. 8

InquisitorGeneralis: In Flames lost me after “Clayman”. This one is not bringing me back. 4

Habakuk: Meanwhile, I’ve grown out of my dismissal
of anything post-“Subterranean”, and I can neglect that everyone and
their grandma will falsely call this “best metal album of the year” or whatnot. At the end of the day, there is some catchy stuff and a large number of pretty good choruses. 7

CadenZ: Blatant Slipknot rip-off on one of the
riffs on “The Puzzle”. Most of the album is rooted too heavily in the
metalcore world to have any deeper appeal for me than the occasional
approving nod to an energetic riff or the OK production. Sorry guys,
this just doesn’t cut it. 4

Revenant: Sounds of a reviewer yawning. Ok, it’s
not that bad. Some nice groovy riffs and melodies throughout, but
ultimately not exciting enough to warrant much attention. 5

Sepultura: Kairos Sepultura: Kairos

5.4/10

Lord K: I think Sepultura’s actually getting more
flack these days than they deserve. I never liked Green’s vocals and the
material’s sounded quite weak since Max bitched out to form his
absolute shit bands. Wait… Actually, Sepultura’s been getting the right
amount of flack when I think about it. Still, it beats anything Soulfly
and Cavalera Conspiracy ever cooked up. 5

InquisitorGeneralis: A surprisingly good release from Sepultura .50, I am liking this more than I ever expected. 6

Habakuk: Similarly as with In Flames, I don’t feel
urged to compare this to the old material. Taken for what it is, it’s
actually pretty strong, groovy thrash. Still, there is no excuse for
having this but not “Arise”. 8

CadenZ: Wrinkled foreheads. Sweaty T-shirts. Snorting nostrils. Clenched fists. IQ = 35. Sepultura are back. 4

Revenant: A tedious attempt at producing another
“Chaos AD”. Has anyone called this “Kairos AD” yet? I hope so, that’d
be witty as fuck. 4

The Black Dahlia Murder: Ritual The Black Dahlia Murder: Ritual

5.4/10

Lord K: More of the usual “today’s standard” brutality incoming. I remain unimpressed but can appreciate the effort. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: Spastic death metal is what
these guys have been doing since day one. I like what I hear, but I’ve
been hearing on every song and every album they have ever done. 5

Habakuk: It’s good. However, seen in relation to
how everybody and their grandmother talk about them, I fail to see what
supposedly sets these guys apart. 6

CadenZ: Well-played technical death-y metal that makes me scratch my head; something’s wrong. It’s the lack of death. Something about BDM’s riffs just strike me as too cheesy, or metalcorish. Might be the vocals. Dunno. Penis. 4

Revenant: A lot of ideas thrown together in this
one. While some of the material really resonated well (“Moonlight
Equilibrium” in particular), I had zero interest in other parts.
Overall I would have preferred more incorporation of the black metal
touches in their music, and less of the melodeath. 6

Draconian: A rose for the apocalypse Draconian: A rose for the apocalypse

5.2/10

Lord K: For some reason I never managed to get into
these guys. When bassist Fredrik sent me a preview tune a few months
back I had little interest in it. That changed after I listened to it
though. My opinion is now revalued since this album is actually very
competently executed. Doomish and semi-gothy, catchy and emotional –
without even hearing all of their other albums I can safely state that
this is their best one. And CadenZ: Finnish?! 7

InquisitorGeneralis: Well, if Mikael Åkerfeldt is truly giving up death metal the sky is the limit for these Opeth clones. 5

Habakuk: List of adjectives that start with D: derivative, dull, hmmm… Draconian! 4

CadenZ: Finnish dark/goth metal with growls,
keyboards and chick vox from… Sweden? Yup. Nothing wrong with it per se,
a nice atmosphere permeates the album, but the goosebumps, eargasms and
involuntary one-man living room moshpits decide to not appear. Maybe
later. 6

Revenant: Nice gothic atmosphere. Nice contrast
between deep growls and female vocals. Nice epic crushing moments. Now
that you’ve mastered these elements, why not have a crack at interesting. 4

Saxon: Call to arms Saxon: Call to arms

5.2/10

Lord K: Now playing. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: There is a reason that Saxon have always been on the NWOBHM second team, but there are some surprisingly good moments on here. “Hammer of the gods” is a winning tune. 5

Habakuk: There are definitely parts that have been
borrowed elsewhere, but as a whole, this is better British metal than
expected. Anyway, come two or three listens later, you’ve absolutely
heard it. 6

CadenZ: Byford can still bring it, and most tracks
are very vigorous indeed to have recently been put on tape/HDD by such
dinosaurs. Not a great album, but clearly above-average traditional
heavy metal. 6

Revenant: Back in the day when my pubic thatch was
sparse, my voice perpetually broke, my face was greasy with pimples and I
was too afraid to talk to girls, I might have really dug this cheesy
heavy rock. Oh how things have changed (my voice no longer breaks). I
guess if you really dug last year’s Accept album this might do it for
you as well. Taken for what it is, it’s pretty good. 6

Deranged: Cut, carve, rip, serve Deranged: Cut, carve, rip, serve

4.6/10

Lord K: To me, Sweden’s Deranged’s always been in
the super minor leagues of death metal bands. This Americanized
gruff-gruff style was always shit, and Deranged do nothing to improve
it. Silly vocals, sillier song titles and absolutely anonymous/generic
on all accounts. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: Deranged are definitely going
for an early 90’s, raw, gritty death metal sound and feel, especially in
the lyrics department. They don’t get there, but they try. 4

Habakuk: What started as just another Cannibal
Corpse inspired death metal disc developed enough quality moments to
hold its own. For one listen. Then it regressed a little again. 7

CadenZ: Mushy production, laughter-inducing cookie
monster growls and the most tired and generic riffs I’ve heard since
“St. Anger”. These guys should be proud that I’m mentioning a Metallica
album in the commentary for this shitfest. Just pointlessly hammering on
palm muted strings and inserting a squeal does not a guitar riff make.
Dung, it does. 2

Revenant: Pretty decent brutal death metal with plenty of blasting and grooves. What more do you need? 7

Pain: You only live twice Pain: You only live twice

4.2/10

Lord K: I have the biggest respect for Peter and
his work ethics. Pain always came across as missing the target, though
some of their stuff is incredibly catchy. As a whole it seems like Pain
will never be completely for me. Thanx for reminding me of the lovely
Blümchen with the start of this album though. That shit makes me very
happy. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: I like most of what Petey T has to offer, but Pain is one of his projects I just cannot get into. 4

Habakuk: I’ve never liked this band and their lifeless melodic bullshit. I’m not gonna start now. 3

CadenZ: Plus points for the Morricone nod in the
title track, and the AC/DC vocals on “Dirty Woman”. Other than that,
this party/disco metal with a few obvious Hypocrisy riffs is of no
interest to me. 3

Revenant: 30 seconds in and I thought I was going
to absolutely hate this. Dance music and metal mixed together are
generally guaranteed suckage. Only this doesn’t suck. I am confuse. 5

Queensrÿche: Dedicated to chaos Queensrÿche: Dedicated to chaos

3.4/10

Lord K: What?! No “Operation mindcrime 400”? Once a
fantastic band, now a shadow of their glorious past. They won’t ever
release something that is complete shit though. 4

InquisitorGeneralis: This record is just weird, it’s better than “Mindcrime II” or “American Soldier”, but that isn’t saying much. 4

Habakuk: God damn, is this boring. 1

CadenZ: What to make of this jumble? It sure is
chaotic, is what it is. I like the 90’s flair, as well as the
psychedelic stuff, but it’s tough to say this early if this will be a
winner or just plain weird. Could be a grower. 6

Revenant: As a massive fan of their early work,
particularly “Operation: Mindcrime” (which I would rate in my top 5
albums of all time), I find listening to modern Queensrÿche more painful
than having my balls nicked with a razor and then dunked in aftershave.
Shitty prog rock with zero catchiness and a horrible hip hop attempt
(“Wot we do”) for added suck. This band gets more irrelevant with each
new release. 2

Stream Of Passion: Darker days Stream Of Passion: Darker days

3.2/10

Lord K: Chick vocals, symphonics, a Terrorizer
album title and tons of cheese… Yeah, this shit isn’t flying too high,
but at least it left the ground. 4

InquisitorGeneralis: All you Nightwish, Tarja, and Evanescence fans come on up to the trough and dig your snots into this pile of slop. 1

Habakuk: It does sound intelligently written and
the girl sure can sing. Respectable. That still won’t make me listen to
an album full of operatic… whatever. 5

CadenZ: I let out a stream of passion when this soft-metal-with-good-but-too-soft-chick-vox album finally ended. Through my penis. 3

Revenant: I don’t care that the female singer is
quite good. I don’t care that the symphonic arrangements are done well.
I don’t care that some of this music is beautiful at times. For me,
this is more boring than watching piss dry on a cold, sunless day. Oh
well, at least it’s better than that Sarah Jezebel Deva crap. 3

Rhapsody Of Fire: From chaos to eternity Rhapsody Of Fire: From chaos to eternity

3/10

Lord K: Can someone be prepared to clean my walls
coz I am going to blow my fucken brains out if I have to listen to this
again. Ridiculous joke metal. 2

InquisitorGeneralis: This, along with 99% of symphonic power metal, completely blows. Why do people waste good talent on this stuff? 2

Habakuk: Italian OF CHEESE is the worst language to sing metal in. The English parts aren’t much better. 3

CadenZ: The constant sputter of 16th-notes in
harmonic minor, simultaneously on all instruments, kills all variation
these Italians might strive for. Some cool riffs, especially on “Ghosts
of a Forgotten World”, salvage a small piece of this mediocre-talented
Mozart-wannabe metal. 3

Revenant: Cheesy symphonic power metal has never
been my thing, so this faced an uphill battle for my appreciated from
the word go. There certainly is some great musicianship on show, but I
need more than that. I’m sure their fans will hail this as better than
going ball-deep into a chick, but this is not for me. 5

Sarah Jezebel Deva: The corruption of mercy Sarah Jezebel Deva: The corruption of mercy

2.8/10

Lord K: Sarah is known for 2 things. 1: Singing with Cradle Of Filth at some point and 2: Eating
half of the world’s food reserves in 20 minutes. What purpose this
semi-catastrophic semi-black metallish and symphonic crap with
humming’n‘weak vocals are supposed to serve – well, I don’t know. Some
of the musical bits, when the bitch shuts up, actually sound quite
well-composed though. I’ll base the score on those. 4

InquisitorGeneralis: A good drummer and a few
decent riffs stand little chance against the overwhelmingly shitty
operatic female vox and symphonic elements that this album has to offer.
3

Habakuk: Three questions: Who is this? Who needs this? Can we listen to something else, please? 2

CadenZ: Goth/“black” metal with lots of
orchestrations. And Deva’s vocals on top of that. If this album would
have had a high-pitched growler instead, it could have worked mighty
fine. Now it’s just a little weird, and a lot tame. 3

Revenant: The first word that comes to mind is
“ambitious”. The second is “shit”. Over the top symphonics, poor drum
sound, poor cover of The Cranberries, uninteresting songs… saved from
coming last in this edition only because Limp Bizkit is in it. 2

Limp Bizkit: Gold cobra Limp Bizkit: Gold cobra

1.8/10

Lord K: You can blame Pimp Kibbutz for a ton of
things. I used to despise this band with all my heart, alot thanx to
Fred Bratwurst and his whining vocals. Not so much anymore. I can see
where they are coming from and every now and then they fire up a decent
tune or two (still with the whining vocals ofcourse). “Gold cobra” won’t
make me a full-fledged fan though, lucky me, but I prefer this over any
sub-par death or black metal band in the world. At least this shit can
occasionally groove a bit. Even if it’s not too fucken often. 4

InquisitorGeneralis: Dick-slurpage deluxe. Who wanted them back? 2

Habakuk: I’m not even completely obnoxious to the style, but it takes forever writing this text with one hand occupied by facepalming. 2

CadenZ: I vow that if the chance presents itself, I
will torture, slice apart, roast and eat the slimy motherfucking pig
rectums who are responsible for recording and releasing this utter piece
of shit. By far the worst record I’ve heard since… fuck, this might be
the worst record I’ve ever heard. 1

Revenant: This is just fucken tragic. Some laughs
to be had with the idiotic lyrics, but that’s where the entertainment
ends. “We still rain the blood in the club like Slayer”. Yeah right. 1

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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