GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – August 2009

Audio Autopsy – August 2009

01/08/09  ||  Global Domination

Madder Mortem: Eight ways Madder Mortem: Eight ways

6.6/10

Lord K: So, for some reason someone (me) at GD
thought that this would be something you’d consider worthy of being
included in Audio Autopsy. As the chick starts off the album by singing “This morning reeks of disaster”, you could say I initially had my doubts that this morning (I’m shitting you, it’s fucken night here) would
get any better. But whaddya know – Madder Mortem’s got something
original going for them. And it’s also quite fucken awesome. Most of you
won’t appreciate it or “get” the quite weird shit they throw into their
songs – but me, yeah, I understand what they are aiming at. Given time
it even becomes a grower. In more ways than you’d ever think it would. Easily
the winner of this edition for me. Not sure if it even falls into the
“metal” category, but they piss on the competition here nonetheless. The
actual metal parts that are present sound a little thin to
have a huge impact on me, but the rest of the material makes up for it.
Last off: I approached Madder Mortem some month ago with the proposition
of joining us in our forums. They haven’t replied, so fuck them.
Bastards. Anyways, time to dig up their back catalogue and realize I
might even have scored this album too fucken low, coz I’m positive these idiots were never this good as shown on “Eight ways”… 8

Kampfar: Madder Mortem is up to atmospheric dark
metal and I guess they do it very well. So, what I’m trying to
communicate here is that if you happen to be a pretentious person who
enjoys chilling out with a glass of red-wine in hand, what?, this thing
called “Eight days” could very well end up doing the rim-job. 6.

The Duff: Holy shit; I saw these guys in Belgium
about ten years ago supporting Opeth, and now their future is in my
hands – they suck fucking shit-clogged ass-hair! Okay, if I could just
reign in my hilariousness for an instant, I am really digging this;
sometimes they get a little too basic in the metal sense, but part of me
is thinking that bands like Unsun have made me extremely prejudiced
towards female-fronted bands. Truth is, the front-woman to this band is
unique, passionate and versatile, with a wide range; she makes a great
portion of the band come alive, but the peaceful sections to “Eight
Ways” are real cool too, almost Ulver-y/Mogwai/jazz/prog – they just
need to spice up their heavier sections. 5

Abyss: Agnete and her boys have been a favourite of
mine since I first heard “All flesh is grass” in 2001 and a couple of
albums later I still really dig the band even if my most intense love
has worn off as the band has become more jazz and less metal in their
sound. Nonetheless, “Eight ways” is well worth your salt if you want to
hear a really talented vocalissa with great power and feeling
accompanied by moody and diverse music. Madder Mortem is still hard to
pigeon-hole and that’s all to their advantage. 7

CadenZ: I’m in love. So beautiful, so emotional, so raw, so powerful, so much of everything.
I’m of course raving about the vocalist Agnete’s voice. She’s backed up
by some kind of trippy passive-aggressive indie rock/metal, quite good
shit actually, but without her this wouldn’t be anything worth
mentioning. Now it is very much something, more exactly a: 7

Amorphis: Skyforger Amorphis: Skyforger

6.6/10

Lord K: I was a fan of Amorphis even back when they
were labeled a death metal band and nothing else. They recorded in
Sunlight Studios and managed to create some fine death metal for the
time being (it’s a different story if you listen to those albums today).
They also kept that death metal vibe for some 2 recordings before
starting to experiment and become what Amorphis are today (and have been
for at least the last decade and a half, huh?). That band and today’s
band are two different entities. I like the Amorphis of now better, for
obvious reasons. On “Skyforger” I smile a little at the obvious Opeth
hints (just listen to the heavier parts of “Majestic beast” for a good
example) while swingin’ my penis along to the fine growls and the usual,
neat, Amorphis melodies they are so good at creating. The Finns sure
got their own sound and I give thumbs up for this fucker of an album,
which would have gotten an even higher score had there been more growls
and semi-brutal parts included. 7

Kampfar: Quality shit this, no doubt about it, but
my cup of cum it ain’t. Still, I don’t feel a need to die when listening
to what Amorphis is up to anno 2009. Not at all. 6.

The Duff: Prepare to piss yourselves and wring the
urine soaked undergarments all over my face, but I’ve never heard “Tales
of a Thousand Blowjobs” (I AM ON FIRE!!). This here sounds like a cross between Vintersorg-era Borknagar, Katatonia, Opeth, HIM,
goth-rock/folk/doom/and-a-lil’-bit-o’-pussy; yeah, funny that these
guys probably inspired all the aforementioned bands one way or another
with “Tales of a Thousand Handjobs” (shwish), but
that’s tough noodles. I’ve never heard Amorphis before, and don’t intend
to after this AA edition, but I don’t see what all the fuss is about
unless their earlier works is to death metal what double anal
penetration was to pornography. This band writes real good music, and if
it ain’t on par with what fans have been awaiting since the glory days,
well, I’m not complaining this end. 7

Abyss: I think I mentioned this the last time
Amorphis were featured here in AA, but they seem to have found a nice
restingplace from their previous excursions into the 70’s. Only problem
is that while it’s solid songwriting and tasteful playing abound, it’s
starting to become quite streamlined and slick. As of now, Amorphis is
two tablespoons of sugar and some eyeliner away from H.I.M. 6

CadenZ: “Professional” is a word that comes to mind, in a good sense. Competently performed, well-arranged and well-written dark AOR/radio-friendly
metal with the occasional growl and some heavier doomish parts. The
usual Amorphian Kalevala theme is present as always, and the
by-now-established frontman Joutsen delivers. What makes this album a
little bland is the repetition of the same chord patterns, but that’s
something most bands wrestle with. Having listened to this album more
than ten times, and it still growing on me, I’ll have to squirt out a: 7

Asphyx: Death... the brutal way Asphyx: Death… the brutal way

6.4/10

Lord K: Herr van Drunen
(who’s doing the vocals here in case you are a fucken retard) himself
has told me I won’t like this album, simply becoz he knows I haven’t
particularly liked anything Asphyx have released in the past.
Well, much to my surprise (and even more so to van Drunen’s, I’m sure) I
like this well enough. It’s hardly as slow and boring as I thought it
would be. There are some catchy tunes on this one (“Scorbutics” is a
great example) but it also suffers from a distinct problem, and that
problem is Bob’s (sometimes) hideously untight drumming. For the most
parts he gets thru it fine but at some occasions there are some major
fuck up’s that should have been corrected or never released on an album
to begin with. Then again, maybe it just adds to the recording’s charm
ten years from now? I’m surprised as for how much this reminds me of the
slower Pestilence tunes (when they were awesome, though the Asphyx
material is hardly of the same caliber) at times, but I guess it’s safe
to say we can “blame” alot of that on the always fantastic vocals
courtesy of van Drulen. Yes, Drulen. A nice surprise this one, as mentioned. See ya in Norway, guys? 6

Kampfar: Aspic will never be a favorite of mine. Asphyx, on the other hand, will remain one till the day I die. 8.

The Duff: I’ve never been a big Asphyx fan, and
this new one sounds just like Ashpyx, funnily enough, hence my
indifference. Big kudos for not turning into what Pestilence became,
because this is raw, ugly shit that stays true to the band’s classic
formula, and I can’t fault them for it in the slightest. There is
something admirable about such devotion. Alas, the music will never do
much for me. Killer hearing van Drunen back into the metal folds. 6

Abyss: Fuck me! The guys in Asphyx may be old but
they’re far from tired and while it’s no surprise Martin van Drunen
sounds great (he’s keeping himself busy in Hail of Bullets and various
guest apperances) I didn’t really expect the rest of the band to be
quite this sharp at coming up with heavy-as-fuck death metal. 8

CadenZ: Yawn. Same fucken chords and riffs repeated
over and over and over and over… Even the sick vocals start to turn on
me after a while. The doomier parts are the only things I could call
good, the rest is a pure borefest. If all tracks had been of the same
caliber as “Black Hole Storm” and “Cape Horn” I’d give this a 6 at
least, but now I can’t go higher than a: 4

Blood Red Throne: Souls of damnation Blood Red Throne: Souls of damnation

6.4/10

Lord K: Norway’s only pure death metal band (the
masters of Zyklon do not fit in this category) worthy of being included
at Global Domination returns with another brutal and Americanized
effort. BRT sure got the knowledge to create
some headbanging brutality with the random thrash metal influences
thrown in, and there’s no chance you’ll not like this if said genre is
yer cup of ass juice. It’s funny how a bunch of fucken Norwegians are
better than the actual Americans themselves (hello Suffocation, among
others) at creating this particular style. Just don’t expect anything
special, but do expect competent aggression and the occasional kick in the vagina. You like that shit, you dirty little whore. And so do I. 7

Kampfar: I bought this fucker, and I don’t regret
doing so, but deja-vu will no doubt be experienced by those already
familiar with this Norwegian combo into death. Ergo, “Altered genesis”
remains the best BRT album ever. 7.

The Duff: There’s no doubt that these fellas are an
amazing outfit, but they’ve released misses along with the hits, and
“Souls of Damnation”, I’m afraid to say, could be a lot better. I am a
real picky bastard when it comes to death metal, but nothing strikes me
as entirely brilliant on this record. 6

Abyss: A band that’s not really doing much wrong
but in the end falls short of being truly memorable. If Asphyx lingers
in your mind like when you lost your virginity – Blood Red Throne is the
fourth goat you fucked after a night of heavy LSD. There’s something sticky on your fingers and a prevailing smell of animal piss, but you’re not really sure why. 5

CadenZ: This disc of well-played death metal with
slight prog influences sports the coolest bass chops I’ve heard in a
while – gold star for Mr. Caspersen. On the negative side of things,
most riffs are from I’ve-heard-this-before-ville and the abrupt odd time
stops-and-go’s heard in some songs could’ve been done smoother. What
makes the sun shine more tinkly-winkly are the small extra spices thrown
in here and there like harmonized melodies, psycho BM screams and nice
guitar solos, and they lift the verdict to a: 7

Dream Theater: Black clouds an silver lining Dream Theater: Black clouds an silver lining

6/10

Lord K: I’m putting on “Pull me under” and will
remember the glory days. There’s still no denying these guys are among
the best musicians around – the problem is they can’t fucken write a
great tune anymore, as evident over the last 20 albums. Still, this is
better than anything released after “Awake”. It’s always fun to listen
to Dream Penis from a musical point of view, but that’s also their
downfall these days. 5

Kampfar: “Black cocks & silver ponies” offers about 5 minutes worth of fine shit. So, a fucking shame it lasts forever then. 3.

The Duff: Newsflash – I like listening to Dream
Theater and I like mansex, sometimes combined, sometimes separate (like
during the delicacy of pillow-chatter). The last two albums, though,
have left a lot to be desired, and even “Train of Thought” was a little
hackneyed. “Black Clouds and Silver Linings” is definitely a title I can
get behind, and the music thereupon thankfully likewise. As a Dream
Theater fan, I’ve never thought much to “Images and Words”, so their
classic material for me includes “Awake”, “Scenes From a Memory” and
“Six Degrees” – finally, the band is back on track to writing to the
degree of such strengths as witnessed on these three outputs, using
their musical knowledge to create complete songs and not half-finished
riffs with endless noodling in-between. 7

Abyss: Looking back att AA from August 2007 it
occurs to me that DevilDriver, Amorphis and Dream Theater were all
featured there as well. Only difference is that two years ago we had
Nile and Souldrainer to keep up the quality. Anyways, I’ve held a long
allergy against LaBrie’s vocals and while they still become quite
annoying and unemotional quickly, I find other qualities in DT this time
around. There’s gargantuan musical epics at 10-20 min but the
instrumental dead ends aren’t as boring as I’ve feared, and I find
myself actually enjoying a good 60% of “Black clouds and silver lining”.
Not bad. 7

CadenZ: The best DT album in ten years. I’m amazed.
Delete half the solos and this is a masterpiece. Not that they’re bad
(some of Petrucci’s solos are sick – and I mean SICK.)
but they’re just too fucken long. This is probably the best album
they’ve done since “Awake”, which was maybe not a ten but still more
than an: 8

Suffocation: Blood oath Suffocation: Blood oath

5.8/10

Lord K: I never cared about the “legendary”
Suffocation, simply becoz they aren’t or weren’t ever any good. They are
in the same league as all those 3rd rate American death metal bands you
all know about and still you wouldn’t give a fuck if they played in
your city and you were on the guestlist. It’s better than the Obituary
of today, but so is horse shit covered in cow dung, spiced up with
elk-piss. 5

Kampfar: Suffocation will never top “Pierced from within”, nor ever bottom “Breeding the spawn”. Cheerios and hails! 7.

The Duff: I’m working on a review, so I’ll keep
this short – this is a grower, probably my least favourite of the three
since the reunion; more complex arrangements, darker riffing, less
impressive soloing although still with moments of excellence, and a
rather awkward, muddy production. Ace musicianship, a little simpler
than what we’re used to (more old-school, suck it up, these guys
invented it), Suffocation are still very important if only no longer
pushing the envelope. 8

Abyss: Take my verdict of Obituary and replace “death metal” with “technical death metal” and you’re good to go. 3

CadenZ: These veterans clearly still deliver their
goods better than many other oldies (see: Asphyx or Pestilence) and this
is quite enjoyable, though not more. And what kind of fucken song title
is “Marital Decimation”?! Hahaha! 6

Totalt Jävla Mörker: Söndra & härska Totalt Jävla Mörker: Söndra & härska

5.2/10

Lord K: So, my fellow Swedes get a chance in Audio
Autopsy, huh? I guarantee it’s the last time as long as I’m in charge
(which is forever). Those small black metal vibes that I hear won’t help
unless they take over their sound completely along with corpsepaint and
material a’la Dark Funeral. Won’t happen? Well, fuck you in total
fucken darkness. 3

Kampfar: Total Fucking Darkness wasn’t quite as
furious and ferocious as I imagined them to be. In fact, not even close.
But, even though Skitsystem rules supreme when talking music such as
this, I still appreciate what Total Fucking A.I.D.S. is up to. Yep, fuck
you. 7.

The Duff: Errrrm. Not very good. I’m not even sure
what it’s supposed to be. The production doesn’t help, and the music
seems all over the place – I can’t tell if it’s real extreme or
commercial, thrashy or atmospheric, hardcore or viking, shitty or
shitty. I just farted at my desk and… I am not a healthy man. 3

Abyss: Punk is the new black (metal) and none prove
it better than Skitsystem and Totalt Jävla Mörker. The d-beat crust
inferno has more than one similarity to black metal both musically,
aesthetically and emotionally. “Söndra & Härska” is a monolith of
power in the genre and much recommended, even if you don’t understand
the Swedish lyrics. 7

CadenZ: I like the BM:ish parts and some of the
rockier shit, but my enthusiasm is lost somewhat when they turn on the
pure punk and atmospheric depression meandering. I think this album is a
grower though, and I dig the overall dirty aura too – enough for a: 6

Nightrage: Wearing a martyr's crown Nightrage: Wearing a martyr’s crown

5/10

Lord K: I wouldn’t know what a fucken “nightrage”
is if it moved into my ass with all of its friends, threw parties all
day long and then moved into my penis to build a fucken library. Nope.
What I do know is that the band with this very moniker plays some
mediocre new metal that is competent as fuck on all levels and exactly
as boring as that description sounds. The most interesting thing about
Nightrage is that their name rhymes with “fightcage”, which is a far
better name for a metal band. 5

Kampfar: If you happen to be in love with so-called melo death, Nightrage is for you. 5.

The Duff: I think melodeath used to be my death
metal back in the day (y’know, when I could jack off three times a day
and not suffer exhaustion of the cock); Insomnium Gatherum, Darkane,
Carnal Forge, Dew Scented, some other band that was with us in the
forums for some time (Forsaken? I reviewed one of their albums then they
left haha); all used to be a part of my musical venturing along with
the classic bands – although now I don’t have time for such small
potatoes when compared to Cannibal Corpse and such. That’s not to say I
don’t linger around gossip of their mention every once in a while.
Nightrage is also one such band; their first two were stellar, then they
lost me by watering down their sound, and now we’re back with word of a
“return to form”. Can’t say I entirely agree – it’s kinda a mixture of
the commercial aspects of their last with a touch more In
Flames-melody/folk (real fucken obvious, too); not a full
success, in my books, and I would recommend those looking for yet
another fucking “Slaughter of the Soul” to stick with your Darkanes and
such. Don’t be a pedantic bitch and tell me they’re more death/thrash,
you’ll want to avoid this album methinks. 5

Abyss: Marios Iliopoulos keeps trucking on with his
melodic death band and on the fourth album things are pretty much
business as usual. The good riffs are pretty evenly tied with the boring
ones, and as usual when I hear this band I struggle to come up with an
opinion. It’s not original, it’s not horrible, it’s just competent muzak
for the present. 5

CadenZ: Is this melodeath? Or metalcore? Or both?
Fuck knows. The guitar solos are all right, otherwise meh. Had this been
released in 1996 it’d blown my mind, but alas… 5

Trail Of Tears: Bloodstained endurance Trail Of Tears: Bloodstained endurance

4.8/10

Lord K: Hadn’t I known better one would think with a
title like “Bloodstained endurance” we are dealing with death metal of
some sorts. Hardly so, fucko. Symphonic metal with a highly annoying
male vocalist in the midst of catchy arrangements and decent female
vocals has its moments, though it’s absolutely nothing that will stay in
my collection forever. I’ll keep it for a little while though. There,
now I can delete it. 6

Kampfar: This album was very OK for about 3 songs, then a need to play Tristania’s “Widow’s weeds” suddenly appeared in me. 5.

The Duff: I think I dislike gothic metal more than
any other sub-genre within the metal genre, so Trail of Tears should be
licking their nipples with glee when I say this isn’t bad; really some
of the best gothic metal I’ve ever heard. I’m done with making people’s
lives complete now. 5

Abyss: Not really decent symphonic goth metal with a
crappy male vocalist and a half-decent vocalissa. A bit faster pace
than the usual Norwegian goth fairys, but I guarantee you’ve heard it
all before anyway. 3

CadenZ: The moments they don’t go Nightwish on me
and the vocalist (no, not the guy) holds the vibrato on a humane level
this sounds good. Too bad they rape my ears too fucken often. The
pronunciation is another matter… I like the Björkian gloomy parts
though, more of those next time, if you please. 5

DevilDriver: Pray for villains DevilDriver: Pray for villains

4.2/10

Lord K: Is it “Devildriver”, “DevilDriver” or
“Devil Driver”? Whoever drives this shit could need a few more lessons
though. One second we get completely MTV orientated (and soulless) tunes like “Teach me to whisper”. You know the drill; meaningless enough to appear on MTV
though considered “brutal metal” by the executives. I call bullshit.
Next second we actually get some decent (still cursed with a completely
abominable drumsound, though – Pro-Tool’d and triggered beyond all
feeling and sense) half-metal almost bordering on being semi-brutal. Too
hard for MTV but too soft for the real
metalheads. You know, they are trying to be brutal but fail at it,
mysteriously enough. Bottomline is that Devildriver/Devil
Driver/DevilDriver don’t feel so metal after all, period. 4

Kampfar: Fuck, I’‘m obviously not necro enough to hate on everything nu-metal. 7.

The Duff: I don’t like this band; Coal Chamber were
terrible, this is marginally better. Don’t know if it’s even the same
band-members in each one anymore, which of the two have disbanded (are
DevilDriver still together? Hehe) – yeah, you can tell me they’re
influenced by Pantera until you’re blue in the face, I’ll still stick my
dick in your mouth. 2

Abyss: If the Devil had a driver I’m sure he’d be a
tall imposing figure with a contemptous sneer, much like Bill Nighy at
his best. The images DevilDriver conjure up are more in the “short angry
midget with cotton braids and black nail polish jumping up and down”
ballpark. Hardly imposing, and most definitely not anything to pay
attention to. Oh yeah, the music sounds like Fear Factory watered down a
million times. Or Coal Chamber trying to play metal. 2

CadenZ: Amazing opening! The first 30 seconds gave
me a boner best measured on the Whale Scale, and made me say a prayer to
Ukko: “Please spare me from emocore vox in the choruses”, and lo and
behold: I was, incredibly, spared. DD play nice and groovy metal
somewhere between Arch Enemy and Slipknot, though not as good as the
intro promised. Just like the aforementioned bands they’ve also got a
great drummer, but he makes things happen too much too often for my
liking – gotta learn to pick yer spots. And though the Entombedian
grooves and vocals a’la Petrov really stroke me the right way, the
too-compressed production makes this record sound like it has no balls,
and without cojones you can’t go higher than a: 6

Saint Deamon: Pandeamonium Saint Deamon: Pandeamonium

4/10

Lord K: So, Ronny Milianopenisvichswoosh is back
with his pretentious and overblown power metal act Saint Deamon. If you
wanna know what these guys sound like, head over to this review
and you’ll understand the situation I’m in. You get dragons, swords,
keyboards, calls, oceans, glory and whatever the fuck else is used more
often in power metal than condoms at Reeperbahn. There’s no denying the
obvious musicianship and so forth but the cheese on this one even
surpasses the cheese they managed to fit in on their debut. And man,
that was a lot of fucken cheese. A LOT of fucken cheese. Also, that album contained better songs. 5

Kampfar: St. Semen is, and will forever remain, not a dear favorite of mine. Remember, I’m still the
ultra manly death-head into Odin, not a seasoned gay-parader
preoccupied with power-metal, dildos and dragons. That aside, them here
Swedes are definitely above averagely talented when it comes to creating
gullible-not-quite-metal. 4.

The Duff: FUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! 1

Abyss: Silly name aside, I didn’t have enourmous
expectation for Saint Deamon. I knew there were experienced people
behind it and that they’d got ok reviews from people who saw them play
at House of Metal 2009, but c’mon – power metal is not the easiest genre
to make interesting. “Pandeamonium” is certainly not a masterpiece of
modern times but SD’s slightly more muscular approach to heavy metal,
akin to Nocturnal Rites, fits me well and there’s more than one chorus
here that I find myself humming when my macho defences are low. 6

CadenZ: 4. Roquefort, 3. Cheddar, 2. Emmental… 1. Saint Deamon. 4

Obituary: Darkest day Obituary: Darkest day

3.8/10

Lord K: Oh, man… When exactly did Obituary turn out
awful? Must have been right after the fantastic “Cause of death”, huh?
The kindergarten riffs are all over this new album (as well) and I shake
my head in frustration (again). But you gotta hand it to them – they
obviously believe in this kind of death metal. I believe in “Cause of
death” and its amazing songwriting, riffs and production. This fucken
album’s got none of it, just like Obituary haven’t been able to offer
the death metal world something worthy of giving a fucken shit about for
the last 500 years or so. Time for this band to hang up the phone and
cut the chord. Today’s Obituary makes me wanna listen to Death’s “Pull
the plug”. For obvious reasons. 3

Kampfar: This was quite a lot better than I
expected it to be. So, kudos to myself for being a negative prick very
able to experience positive surprises still. 7.

The Duff: I don’t want to ask retarded rhetorical
questions to get my point across like “Is this a joke?” and “Your Mom?”,
but this sucks terribly; it can’t be the same band. Hey, do any of you
picture the Tardy brothers running around Mexico in ponchos constantly
looking at their watches going “Ayee-yahyee-yahyee, somos muys
Tardeese!”. Such thoughts keep me entertained whilst listening to
“Darkest Day” – how many solos you gotta write to take away the effects
of the dreary writing elsewhere? Yeah, rhetorical, and my score will
reflect such. 1

Abyss: I don’t get Obituary and I probably never
will. They’re legends but that doesn’t excuse them from producing shitty
death metal to a world already brimming with shitty music. 3

CadenZ: They always sound the same. Sigh. 5

Voivod: Infini Voivod: Infini

2.6/10

Lord K: Jason Newsted must be ecstatic about joining this band. He’s prolly the only one too. 2

Kampfar: Nothingness has an old name! Not very funny, but Voivod has been around since circa forever so it rings true alright. 3.

The Duff: Voivod are much like Venom, inspired many but offer little to these ears. 2

Abyss: Voivod used to be so good, not so anymore.
Then again, this is (alledgedly) the last of Piggy’s material he
recorded before his death, so maybe the farce is coming to an end now. 2

CadenZ: Sometimes I wonder why I never got into Voivod. Then I get reminders like this. 4

Stratovarius: Polaris Stratovarius: Polaris

2.4/10

Lord K: Didn’t this fucken band die a few years ago? No? Can we make another try for it to happen then? 2

Kampfar: The music is quite OK, the vocals not so at all. Fucking horrendous, precisely. 2.

The Duff: Stratovarius used to make many an appearance on MCM’s
Metal Zone years back, and like Hammerfall and such, I would indulge in
their music videos between masturbation sessions to scrambled Canal
Plus porn (as I wasn’t subscribed to their service) and enjoy them
somewhat. The next I heard of them was with Euth’s review of this album
(pretty much, despite occasional forum mentions). Funny thing being I
can actually enjoy some of it; most of it, in fact, despite his absolute
disgust over the material presented. Yup, this isn’t bad to my ears.
Still power metal, but fun. 5

Abyss: No no no. Go away. 1

CadenZ: Biggest borefest since… err… hm. Biggest
borefest. Period. The new guitarist is much better than Tolkki in every
sense except song writing, which means they need Teh Ugly One back in
the ranks. Not one melody or riff sticks in my head. What a waste of
time this was, I’ll go rape a squirrel or: 2

Mortification: The evil addiction destroying machine Mortification: The evil addiction destroying machine

2.2/10

Lord K: If there actually was such a thing as The
Evil Addiction Destroying Machine somewhere I’m sure it would have
destroyed these fucken christian cocksuckers a long time ago. And
there’s little doubt their families would have survived the slaughter as
the only suitable punishment for giving birth to these idiots that are
Mortification is death. I hope you guys fucken die for what you are
shitting out to the world recording wise, among other things. Jesus
weeps and it’s becoz of you fucken idiots. Bad evil in its purest form. 1

Kampfar: An album adorned by the worst cover-art
ever is not very likely to contain ace music. And it doesn’t, but fuck
me in the face with an angel from beyond grace if the actual tunes
aren’t quite a lot better than the insanely poor drawn thing
ungracefully gracing the front of this here ugly fuck up to black-thrash
circa. Then again, if you think “The evil addiction destroying machine”
is good, you will be utterly floored if checking out Master. Hail Satan! 5.

The Duff: I can’t support this. Sorry. 2

Abyss: Just look at the cover. Brilliant. And
horrible. If I hadn’t seen them on Wikipedia i’d have thought this was a
joke. Listening to the vocals, I’m convinced; the greatest trick the
Devil ever pulled was convincing Mortification that they should play
music. If it means ridding the world of this shit I’ll gladly suck the
ass of Belsebub standing on my head three times a day. 1

CadenZ: A cross between NWOBHM, Motörhead and “death” metal, with the bass mixed louder than life (death) – no thanks. And no, I won’t comment on the lyrics. 2

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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