GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – April 2014

Audio Autopsy – April 2014

01/04/14  ||  Global Domination

Behemoth: The Satanist Behemoth: The Satanist

7.8/10

Habakuk: Pretty moody for a Behemoth album. Also, anyone else hear a fair bit of “Kashmir” in “O father o Satan o sun”? 7

CadenZ: Nergal came to the wise conclusion that a
riff doesn’t have to be technical or complex to be good. Simple ideas
are most often the best ones, as this fantastic album repeatedly
showcases. “The Satanist” might possibly be the best album of Behemoth’s
career, and that’s saying a lot – but name me a record that can
withstand the force of “Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel”, “Ora pro nobis
Lucifer” or the majestic and monolithic “O Father O Satan O Sun!” in a
duel to the death? Album of the year, probably. 9

Cobal: Other than “And the Forests Dream Eternally”
and earlier demos, I’ve never been into Behemoth myself. Nor I’m
against it, for that matter, it’s just kind of meh to me. But this? This
is actually much better that what I can remember of Mr Conveniently
Satanist and company. That bass player can really groove! Is sax
becoming a fad? 7

sincan: I have mixed feelings for Behemoth. They’re
a killer live band but on record they’re a bit too repetitive and it
feels often like something is missing to lift their music to another
level. This is mostly true for this album also. I wonder if they would
have so many fans if it wasn’t for their great (n’ true) rituality along
with easy listened “extreme” metal. 7

Ironpants: The only album this month that is a real heavy weight fighter. So brutal, heavy, evil, dark, occult as it gets. Instant buy! 9

Morbus Chron: Sweven Morbus Chron: Sweven

7.4/10

Habakuk: Looks like they went same away as
Tribulation. All of a sudden, everything moprhed from old school to
trippy. Not the worst kind of progression, but tough on an old school
aficionado like me. 7

CadenZ: I can haz atmosphere? 9

Cobal: I like the twisted and eerie—not quite
br00tal—touch they imprint their old school death metal with. The
instrumental tracks are probably the best ones. 6

sincan: Well, this could be such a great record!
But it feels like there are too much directionless jamming for making
this into a solid piece of death puke. 8

Ironpants: I stand by my score from the “review” ,
this album is really out there and they show some real skills in both
progression of the band and their songwriting skills. It all seems a bit
too big of a leap though and the vocals can suck it. 7

Grand Magus: Triumph and power Grand Magus: Triumph and power

7.2/10

Habakuk: They’re a lot better at making music than at drawing Norsemen. A bit more consistency would be nice though. 7

CadenZ: You know what you get when Grand Magus
release a new album: honest and passionate heavy metal with simple hooks
and a sliver of doom in there somewhere. And JB’s awesome voice, of
course. 8

Cobal: Fairly simply written yet solid hymns that
every-fucken-body wishes they could sing the way this guy does. I really
like their cover art. 7

sincan: Grand Magus (except for the killer
international super hard-on cock shredder “The oar strikes the water”)
has always been pretty good in my book, somehow I haven’t fallen
completely for their music. 7

Ironpants: This is how you manufacture true heavy
metal without being cheesy. Stay away from the folk metal shit and kick
the living daylights out of every keyboardist that tries to enter the
band. Yeah, they have made better albums, but this stuff is solid! 7

Acheron: Kult des Hasses Acheron: Kult des Hasses

7.2/10

Habakuk: I just have a weak spot for these second
tier American death metal bands. And you hear right away that these guys
are American. Also that they play good shit. 8

CadenZ: Somehow I’ve never gotten around to
checking out these Satanic death metal veterans, and now that I do I
must say that I am quite delighted to finally make the acquaintance.
Satan smiles. 7

Cobal: For a band which a nearly five lustrum career and such a massive release, I had never heard of them. My bad. 7

sincan: Wow, this was actually relatively bearable!
Blackened death with nice riffs and shit that makes you feel something,
not often that happens… 8

Ironpants: Pretty decent blackened US death. But it really never comes through as more than just decent. 6

Cynic: Kindly bent to free us Cynic: Kindly bent to free us

6.6/10

Habakuk: You have to forgive me for skipping the last one, but seriously – Cynic without the robo-vocals? That’s something to chew on. 6

CadenZ: Very experimental and out there, Cynic
merge genres ranging from world music to the Beatles to progressive
metal. Even though you might get confused once in a while, the
stylistical freedom is utterly exhilarating, and a high-quality
musicality is always present, steering home the vessel through murky
waters of pretentiousness. 8

Cobal: I’m so going over this again and again. A bit more harshness would have been appreciated though. 8

sincan: I guess this album needs trillions of time to actually be possible to give an exact score, I don’t have that time. 5

Ironpants: As much as I want to like Cynic, I can’t
really muster the strength to really enjoy them. It could be the
girlish vocals or the lack of really good songs? Sean Reinert is still
one of my heroes and there is no doubt that this is an album packed with
top notch musicians. 6

Godhunter: City of dust Godhunter: City of dust

6.4/10

Habakuk: Fuzzzzzzzzzzzz. 7

CadenZ: No soup for you. The riffs ain’t got dat groove, and I just can’t bring myself to like the vocals. 5

Cobal: I don’t know about you, guys, but I’d much
rather listen to this sludgy caveman metal than fag-overproduced crap.
This has the charm of being at least somewhat offensive, you see. Wish
it were shorter. 5

sincan: Pretty good riffing but with rather repetitive semi angry vocals. 7

Ironpants: I like this! Rough sludge metal with
cool vocals that sounds a bit like LG Petrov (modern time). Throw in
some nice samples and keep it really heavy and you have a friend in me.
Awesome album cover by the way. 8

Soreption: Engineering the void Soreption: Engineering the void

6.0/10

Habakuk: Sure, this isn’t bad, but in the end it’s
just so much stuff crammed onto a disc that there is no room for any
life left. “Engineering the void” is a pretty spot-on song title. 6

CadenZ: Soreption have discovered a new
sub-subgenre: triggered death metal, or even über-triggered death metal.
Plastic and sterile like a hooker vet, “Engineering the Void” still
manages to entertain with its imaginative riffs. Too bad the production
is like a Trojan XXL, preventing any and all happy accidents. 6

Cobal: Here you go the formula for all these
technical death metal releases of today: notes/sec = AP (Alleged
Proficiency). AP, however, needs to be multiplied by V (fucken Variety,
people) or else its value drops to zero. Questions? 5

sincan: I have troubles when trying to enjoy this
type of death metal, especially the clinical drumming. But I guess it
has its moments. 5

Ironpants: Congratulations to the winners of “How
to play technical death metal without dying in an epileptic seizure”.
Action filled stuff that is both groovy and really interesting to listen
to. Great job!! 8

Slough Feg: Digital resistance Slough Feg: Digital resistance

5.8/10

CadenZ: The folk is strong in this one. 5

Cobal: I found that 70’s vibe enjoyable, but hey,
that’s just me. I’ll understand if I’m the only one around here who
likes it. Again. 6

sincan: Some really good tracks and some dull on this little fucker here. 7

Ironpants: Never been really into these guys, even
if they have a reputation of being in the front row of progressive and
different heavy metal. Original and in a club of its own, but not my
fancy. 5

Hirax: Immortal legacy Hirax: Immortal legacy

5.0/10

Habakuk: In my head, Hirax’ vocals always were a
lot worse. While they’re still not exactly fantastic
(“daaaaseeeevaaaaa”), at least they don’t ruin the whole thing for me
anymore. Also, best cover since Deathrow’s “Raging Steel”. Or not. 6

CadenZ: What the fuck is up with these awful
vocalists? Seems like the musical traits you need to possess to qualify
as a thrash metal frontman is obnoxious tone, off-key pitch control and a
tasteless vibrato. And this guy still beats the idiot in Hatriot by a
mile. 4

Cobal: On the one hand you get well-manufactured
furious thrash metal, more than the decent vocals and tight songwriting.
On the other hand, not a single song did much for me. Are my
expectations to high after the greatness of “El Rostro de la Muerte”? 5

sincan: Old man’s thrash metal delivers killer tracks as much as a Volkswagen Golf is the coolest car around. 6

Ironpants: Ouch! This was a really bad performed
power/speed metal album. However, there is something here that gets it
with heads up high over the finish line. It could be the amount of
energy and dedication from these guys that shines through? 4

Hatriot: Dawn of the new centurian Hatriot: Dawn of the new centurian

4.6/10

Habakuk: It does have a somewhat ironic touch: I
feel sorry for this band that the thing that put them on the map in the
first place – that old Exodus guy on vocals – is actually their biggest
weakness. What an annoying croak. 6

CadenZ: Oh my god would you SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?! 3

Cobal: Nothing I hadn’t heard before: some effective thrash riffs—surprise, surprise—and… What the FUCK is wrong with the vocalist? Damn! 4

sincan: Are they already back with new material?! (Un)lucky me! But tell me, is that you Gollum or is it you It who holds the mic? 5

Ironpants: I could say that it is kind of sad that
Souza had to start a band with his own sons and that they are making
statements in a ´Murican way that I am not supposed to understand. But
when it comes to the music it isn’t that bad, good ´ol thrash metal that
is listenable. 5

Within Temptation: Hydra Within Temptation: Hydra

4.2/10

Habakuk: One of the few female fronted metal band’s I can stand, or actually like. Still, this just isn’t too good. 6

CadenZ: Pop “metal” with very well-performed vocals
and a bombastic production. I actually dig the rap appearance by
Xzibit, even though I laughed out loud when I saw it on paper. Go
figure. Like it or not, this is pretty high quality stuff. 7

Cobal: “Oh, let’s just cover some t.A.T.u. songs and be done with it!” Lesbian kissing or it didn’t happen. 3

sincan: The queen of nasal vocals is back. Good that they can hide some of it in the production. 3

Ironpants: How to piss me off? Well it’s not that
hard, make a sleazy pretend metal album, throw in a chick on vocals that
could entertain the world in the next Eurovision Song Contest. Sprinkle it with Xzibit
, Howard Jones (Killswitch Engage) and throw in some Tarja while you’re
at it. No, these guys work in a completely different area than I’m
willing to accept. I’m afraid that Xzibit performs the best part on the
album? 2

Adrenaline Mob: Men of honor Adrenaline Mob: Men of honor

4.0/10

Habakuk: Even if they ask for it about 10 times, I can totally not feel the adrenaline. 5

CadenZ: Nice musicianship and Russell Allen can’t save this all-too-plain record from the dull throes of mediocrity. 5

Cobal: Deceiving as this may be at first, it turns
into nothing but fucking annoying after a couple tracks. Gee, if only
they were just generic! 2

sincan: If Nickelback and Mustasch had a lovechild it would be called Adrenaline Mob. 2

Ironpants: Some good stuff coming out of this for
being hard rock crap. I will play this for my friends who believe they
like metal, it could pass as listenable. 6

Amoral: Fallen leaves & dead sparrows Amoral: Fallen leaves & dead sparrows

4.0/10

Habakuk: Amoral encompass everything that is wrong
about about metal being widely accepted in a given society. And now,
they too have started ripping off Baizley covers. Where will it end? 3

CadenZ: Sterile riffs, cringeworthy lyrics and
testicless (Yes, that’s a word. Now.) vocals laugh at my futile hopes of
a return to the sound on Decrowning. Now that’s a good record. 3

Cobal: And yet more evidence that “power metal” can mean very, very different things. Is that really a guy singing? 7

sincan: Well the cover looks like a cheap copy of a Baizley work. But you will be surprised about Savage Garden now playing “metal”… 3

Ironpants: Good performance and well played music doesn’t help me much when the vocals sounds like sung by 14-year-old boy. 4

Freedom Call: Beyond Freedom Call: Beyond

3.2/10

Habakuk: Happy Metal of the sad kind. 3

CadenZ: This is how power metal is done by the
book, without adding anything of your own. That strategy don’t work in
other genres, and it bloody hell don’t work in this one either. 3

Cobal: This feels so fake and soulless that even
Luca Turilli would be ashamed. The best thing that ever happened to
these fuckos is that I had to listen to Dead by April before this. 3

sincan: Well. If you’re allergic to cheese, stay
away since this is beyond cheesy. Sometimes a bit fun to listen to, but
mostly corny and the only freedom call you will experience on this
fucker is during the silence between the tracks. 4

Ironpants: Hear ye! Hear ye! Freedom Call has released a new album? Well come on !! There is stuff we gotta prepare. Are you coming? There is no time to waste 3

Dead By April: Let the world know Dead By April: Let the world know

1.6/10

Habakuk: Couldn’t they have been dead by March already? Would have saved all of us a lot of trouble. 4

CadenZ: The fact that Dead by April exist is proof that God doesn’t. 1

Cobal: Let the world know that Within Temptation is way manlier than this crap. 1

sincan: Only by reading “Dead By Anal” makes my ears implode by the cause of self-preservation. 1

Ironpants: When this band release their branded
products, the first item will be chapsticks with cock flavor followed by
buttplugs (JR sized) with their band moniker printed in rainbow colors
(printed, not engraved cause that could scratch your colon). No worries
though, if you check what month it is today, you know that this band
should have disbanded today. 1

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
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