GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – April 2005

Audio Autopsy – April 2005

01/04/05  ||  Global Domination

Rapture: The silent stage Rapture: The silent stage

6.8 /10

Lord K: At times I get early Opeth-vibes from
Rapture, that’s when Opeth concentrates on being brutal instead of
mellow. The rest of this crap is some semi-gothic metal with cum-vocals
and pretentiousness coming out of each and every asshole in the band.
Rapture should spend more time on composing heavier parts as those are
the ones making this band not completely awful. The growls brings this
piece up quite a bit. That’s one fine fucken voice. 5

Farlus: These guys are like a melodic death
Opeth/Katatonia sandwich. I really dig the stuff they do, except
sometimes when they delve into prog parts, they come off as being a bad
Opeth clone instead of a prog band in their own right. While their
singer is very talented, I just can’t help but compare him to Mikael
Åkerfeldt and so he ends up falling flat in places. Despite this, I
really dig the band’s work. 7

Desert Eagle: Some fucken excellent doom death
right here. Throw in a dose of Katatonia and a good sense of melody and
you have one killer album. 8

The Abyss: They don’t cling as heavily to
Katatonia’s nutsack as before and I can definately see an identity of
their own forming for these Finnish fucks. Heavy, catchy, melancholic,
sad, groovy, beautiful metal with twin-guitar harmonies to die for. Not
as good as “Songs for the withering”, but still great. 8

Syrrok: I have no idea how these guys have been
cast as a Katatonia rip-off. While I wouldn’t be against that at all,
that is not how I’d classify them. But I love the thought they seem to
put into their music. It’s fairly strong shit and much better when
lumped in with the rest of the crap this month. 5

Derek: I listened to this album and had a shot of
whiskey every time I thought of Opeth. I woke up, three days later, in a
ditch. I’ve since recovered but I keep huming some of the album’s
melodies to myself. Rapture may not be the most original kids on the
block, but they probably have lots of friends who dig their tunes.
Translation: album is good where rocking = yes! 8

Cephalic Carnage: Anomalies Cephalic Carnage: Anomalies

6.7 /10

Lord K: Cephalic Carnage is nothing short of
completely insane music, of which I understand little. Musicianship is
top-notch, production is not and somewhere in there I think there are
some songs, but I have a hard time finding them in between all the
fucken chaos. They get a 5 for effort and insanity though. 5

Farlus: I never bothered to check these guys out
before and I’ve got to say, they are a pleasant surprise. I expected
typical death metal bullshit, but instead I was treated to some
experimental deathgrind plus a hint of some insane fucked up shit. For
about the first half of the album, you get some crazy tempo deathgrind
shit that actually sounds a bit sloppy at times (rather than the
perfected chaos that a band like Meshuggah achieves on an album like
“Destroy Erase Improve”) but around the time you get to “Dying Will Be
the Death of Me”, the band veers off into left field. This is where the
album gets good and continues until the CD finishes spinning. The 9 1/2
minute closer, “Ontogony of Behavior”, just totally blows away any
preconcepted notion I had of this band. These guys are much more complex
and better than I could ever have predicted and I dig ‘em a great deal.
8

Desert Eagle: Did you know that Cephalic means, “Of
or relating to the head”? I didn’t. What you should know is this album
will totally cockfuck your stupid head. Brutal and relentless, this
album has balls. Huge balls. Huge musical balls that make good music. 8

The Abyss: Gone are most of the insane jazz-grind
moments and what I’m left with is Cephalic Carnage’s (quirky) take on
death metal. While not so shabby in it’s own right I find that I miss
the element of surprise that made “Lucid Interval” such a sonic
adventure. That said, this band still kicks the ass of 80% of the
extreme metal bands today. 8

Syrrok: I don’t get it you artsy metal asses. The
drummer is absolutely insane in this band, but Syrrok’s gotsta groove,
and that aspect is nowhere to be found in this ASSterpiece. 3

Derek: Holy fuck this is heavy. It’s fast, heavy
and very brutal, with melodic interludes that remind me of Dysrhythmia
and Ulver. Aside from being the weirdest grind album I’ve ever heard,
it’s definitely one of the best. I wish more grind bands would realize
what you can do when you put some time into your music, then I’d have
more albums like this. 8

Judas Priest: Angel of retribution Judas Priest: Angel of retribution

6.2 /10

Lord K: I was never hot for Judas Priest when I
grew up but they do their metal well. No one can deny ass-inheriter Rob
Halford is one excellent singer. Stay away from my coyote. 6

Farlus: This album is pretty damn good for a band
of geezers led by a flaming homo. Priest has still got something
burning, and it’s not Halford’s asshole after a night of sex. There are
plenty of killer tunes on this album. I dig it. 8

Desert Eagle: Ok, so can I be honest with you guys? I have never liked Judas Priest. I still gave this album a chance, and I still hated it. 4

The Abyss: HammerFall may call themselves the
Templars of Metal but they have nothing on the true Template of Metal.
Judas Priest are back with Rob on vocals and seem to have acquired some
extra pounds of steel balls in the process. The album starts off fast
and heavy, loses momentum halfway but manages to pick up the slack by
the ending (though cheesy) epic “Lochness”. 7

Syrrok: Look… If you like screaming, leather,
penises, or screaming leather penises, I’m sure you’ll get your fill
here. Just kindly keep it out of my holes. I definately wish I could
play this well when I am 60, but that doesn’t give them an excuse to
create such boring metal. This album is nice for the 1% of America’s
population who still cruise around in their Trans Am’s (with the eagle
airbrushed on the hood), but horrible for the rest of us who could care
less. 4

Derek: I’ve never actually given two shits about
Judas Priest, but this album has changed my mind. Considering I normally
despise really high vocals, I’m impressed with how much I like this. I
can now officially say that I have an opinion on the Halford / Judas
Priest reunion. My quality of life will no doubt increase immediately. 8

Corrosion Of Conformity: In the arms of God Corrosion Of Conformity: In the arms of God

5.8 /10

Lord K: The winners of the muddiest production this
year goes to COC, hands down. It suits them though and their groovy
metal is pretty damn cool at times. This is no “Deliverance” but it
works. It’s damn nice to hear drums sounding like drums and not like a
machine. 6

Farlus: CoC is back, motherfuckers. Forget
“America’s Volume Dealer”, we’re back to “Deliverance”-era shit and it
will kick your ass until you’re bloody and broken. Then it’ll rape, jizz
and spit on your corpse. We’re back to the era of just heavy, raw
sounding rock with the catchiest guitars known to man and Pepper’s
instantly recognizable vocals speaking lyrics that mean something. CoC +
Crowbar = best albums of 2005, and it’s only late March/early April.
What a year for heavy music. 9

Desert Eagle: “Burned by the spoon”? Are you fucken
kidding me? Granted I’ve never listened to COC before so I don’t know
if they’re supposed to have retarded lyrics but god damn is that
retarded. Blah blah, drugs are bad. 5

The Abyss: COC’s southern fried take on
doom/Sabbath-metal country is like eating a whole bucket of KFC; tasty
at first bite but quickly it all gets too greasy and you start feel a
little sick by the lack of variation. And the songs are too fucking
long! 3

Syrrok: Always refreshing when a band makes a
u-turn after they realized their last release wasn’t up to par. This
album is case in point of that. COC has always made my balls wet and the
fact that I am literally about to walk out the door to go watch them
play tonight can’t hurt their score. Back to what COC is known for. 7

Derek: Not as instantly catchy as “America’s
Volume” dealer, and there’s a much heavier blues influence here. This is
a lot more mellow than I expected. Good music, but I am not really into
it. It never gets heavy enough for my liking and keeps falling back on
slower, more laid-back riffs. Are times really that bad; did the band
have to sell their balls to pay rent or something? It isn’t bad, it just
ain’t all that great. I expected a lot more here, I call foul. 5

Lost Soul: Chaostream Lost Soul: Chaostream

5.8 /10

Lord K: There’s no end to the Domination that is
Poland when it comes to death metal. Lost Soul kicks ass and they do it
with blistering speed and outrageous riffing. After Sweden, Poland is
number one. 7

Farlus: This album started off great with some good
technical death metal. It reminded me of a mix between Decapitated and
Throneaeon. However, the further I got into the album, the more boring
it got. Then “Christian Meat” came on and the band redeemed themselves.
That song is just slow and brutal and makes my nipples hard enough to
slice the penis off of a polar bear. Between the first few songs and the
last few songs, the band can get pretty boring though, which is a
shame. 5

Desert Eagle: Killer death metal. Fucken brutal as shit just like it’s supposed to be. It is called DEATH metal after all, not KITTEN metal. 8

The Abyss: It seems Poland is incapable of creating
bad death metal bands. A shame so many of them sound alike (i.e. like
Vader), Lost Soul is no exception. I almost mistook the singer for
Vader’s Peter before checking their website. The pace is higher then
present-day Vader but I still can’t see myself paying money for Lost
Soul, competent as they are, while there’s more original Polish bands
around. The glaring exception is the last song which is fucking great in
all aspects. 5

Syrrok: This album gets me crazy pissed-off! This
is no-bullshit, smelly, sweaty, fucked-up death metal doing exactly what
death metal is supposed to do. Throw in a few quality riffs and I’m
satisfied, and we know how hard that is to achieve. 5

Derek: Someone sure loves their drum triggers… Find
a producer that doesn’t suck, feed the drummer to someome who can
actually play their kit (maybe ask them to join the band), and this band
would be a whole lot better. For a band with such a pussy name, they’re
try to be fairly brutal. Then again, the name ‘Lost Soul’ also sounds
pretty generic; and so does the music. You don’t yawn through something
that’s supposed to be brutal. Stay lost. 5

Gorgasm: Neurotripsicks Gorgasm: Neurotripsicks

5.7 /10

Lord K: Welcome to Technical Country, the very
place where Gorgasm wants to reign. The very place where everyone
forgets to write songs and spends time coming up with weird
song-structures instead. It’s decent, technical death metal, and very
much nothing that I will listen to that often. Congrats on one of the
crappiest band-names of all times anyways. 5

Farlus: Technical death metal at its not-so-finest.
At times these guys can play top-notch shit and play it well. Other
times their music is more boring than masturbating without porn. If
there’s one thing I hate (besides mistaking Vapor Rub for proper lube)
it’s inconsistency in my death metal. Get your shit together. 5

Desert Eagle: This isn’t half-bad. In fact, it’s
all-bad. Hah! Suck on that shit. Nothing bores me more than technical
death. It’s all wooo AAAAA shred shred GRRRRRR shred SOLOSOLOSOLO shred
AUUGGHHH squirt. Fuck it. 4

The Abyss: Wow. This is… I don’t know. Take death,
grind, jazz, excevate the parts that makes them good, blend them all
together and you have something close to what Gorgasm sounds like. It’s
really good, midpaced extreme metal with gurgling un-decipherble vocals
and lots of twin-guitar solos. Groovy headbang-friendly shit for sure.
*4*4 minutes may be a bit much to take in but hang in there, the last
song is a fucking slayer! 8

Syrrok: If you look closely, you’ll notice
“eurotrip” nestled snugly in the title of this album. What does that
have to do with this band? We’ll, I didn’t have to see the movie to know
that Eurotrip is total shit. For the same reason, I know this Gorgasm
album is total shit. (YES THIS WAS A STRETCH BUT COMEDY IS HARD). This
is one of those bands content to hold construction jobs and play in pubs
the rest of their lives. Very crazy musicianship, but ultimately it
leads nowhere. Also a great vocalist put to waste. 3

Derek: This album is a lot better than the band
name or title could ever hope to indicate. This band’s sound is a
bastard child from an orgy of technical death metal, power metal, and
grind. This album devastates with such groovy brutality that I’m willing
to overlook song titles like “Rusted Nails Attack” and “Smoked Skulls”.
9

Napalm Death: The code is red... Napalm Death: The code is red… Long live the code

5.5 /10

Lord K: The legendary ND lost me quite some albums
ago. “Harmony Corruption” is to me their best effort and this album
doesn’t change that. It sounds as expected. Catchy riffing and Barney’s
very recognizable vocal-style. 7

Farlus: I’ve never been a big follower of this
band, but this album is good… for a while. It just seems like the same
shit goes on forever after about halfway through. There are flashes
later on of some cool, catchy shit, but I still probably couldn’t stand
to listen to this but every once in a while. That can probably be said
for most grind, though. This album seems like something that if you were
already a fan of the band, you’d dig this shit. It’s good, but nothing
I’m gonna slobber over. 5

Desert Eagle: Bunch of cool guys but I’ve never
liked the music. Vocals are really just not my style. And there’s a
shitload of tracks to make me sick of it even faster. 4

The Abyss: 20 years and Napalm Death never fail to
deliver quality grind. Unlike bands like Nasum and Rotten Sound I find
NP’s longer songs to be a tad boring; they are at their best in the
short sharp grind-shocks. “The code…” certinly isn’t the bands best
effort, it’s “just” another good Napalm Death-album. Extra
coolness-points for having Jello Biafra on guestvocals in “The great and
the good”. 7

Syrrok: It is so hard for me to care that Napalm
Death have released another album. I’m more excited about the Mork and
Mindy TV mini-series coming up this weekend. Would Mork care about
Napalm Death? Probably… But probably only around the “Greed Killing”
era. 3

Derek: The latest slab of grunting grindcore from
Napalm Death features a handful of guest appearances, and there’s a
prize to be won if you can actually hear them anywhere on the album.
Although the cleverness of the song titles is obscured by the vocals
that make raving downtown drunks, high on a premium blend of mouthwash
and gasoline fumes sound coherent and reserved, this is some brutal
shit. Long live the code… Whatever that means. 7

Cursed: Two Cursed: Two

5.3 /10

Lord K: Another band I have never heard of and I’m just as happy with that as a cock in a pussy-factory. This is not for me. 3

Farlus: These guys were very, very far from what I
expected, and that’s a good thing. They mix in plenty of elements into
some really cool songs. The vocals are not my thing most of the time,
but there are moments when they put together all the elements I like
into one killer song (“Clocked In, Punched Out”) that strikes me as
being Bongzilla-ish. I also hear some thrash, punk and hardcore
influences all throughout everything. A very diverse band, to say the
least. I dig it. 8

Desert Eagle: Sigh… There always has to be at least one of these albums, doesn’t it?. Boring and noisy. 3

The Abyss: I think I’ve said pretty much everything
to be said of this kickass HC/Metal/Post-HC/Doom band in my original
review. I’d just like to add that the album has only gotten better and
better for each listen so I’m gonna up the mark even more now. 8

Syrrok: A throwback to 90’s hardcore AND an
anti-war song? Syrrok has a special place for this band called
StopPlayingMusicandFuckOff-land. Totally got my goat. 2

Derek: I hear an “Uprising”-era Entombed influence,
and I quite like it. These guys are great, and I’m shocked to find out
they’re based out of the city I live in. I need to get out more, “Two”
is fucking excellent and I think catching these guys live would be a
good idea. Thrashy and death-tinged in the right doses. 8

High On Fire: Blessed black wings High On Fire: Blessed black wings

5.2 /10

Lord K: I have seen these guys being praised in a lot of places and just as I thought it is completely undeserved. Bullshit. 3

Farlus: I heard “The Art of Self Defense” a couple
times and hated this band. I didn’t even bother to pick up “Surrounded
By Thieves”. I’m glad “Blessed Black Wings” is on AA, cause it fuckin
owns. If you didn’t like the band before, this should definitely get
your attention. These guys have groove and they know how to rock out
with their cocks out, which you will gladly suck and swallow their loads
after hearing this fine album. Catchy guitar lines litter this CD and
the drumming is tighter than a bitch’s asshole when you donkey punch
her. The vocals are brutal without being too harsh or cookie
monster-ish, in the realm of Mastodon’s. It’s just ass-kicking music
through and through. 9

Desert Eagle: “Ahh man I’m too stoned to write
anything decent! Who cares? Everyone who listens will be stoned so they
won’t notice how much we suck. Groovy!” I don’t fucken think so. 3

The Abyss: This album starts with drums that get
increasingly louder and are then accompanied by a guitar shredding out
some really tasty riffs right in the wastelands between Black Sabbath,
Kreator and Destruction. I found this to be a pretty good indication of
all the songs on “Blessed black wings”; drum-driven, (guitar) riff-heavy
music that can make any foot start to tap. This album is filled with
great ideas, unfortunately many songs are way too long so I’m gonna
deduct a point for that. 6

Syrrok: Invest in production must? So, is this a heavier Motorhead or what? Sounds like it to me. 3

Derek: Perhaps I’m high on something, but this
album gives me a heavy Entombed vibe. I despised Sleep and the first
High on Fire album, skipped the second, and this one has actually made
me rethink my stance on the band. Some good solos and solid heavy rock; a
veritable bevy of good times to be had by all. 7

Brainstorm: Liquid monster Brainstorm: Liquid monster

4 /10

Lord K: I’ve got 2 words for you, Brainstorm: Go fuck yerself and take your silly fucken power metal cocksucking shit-music with you. 2

Farlus: I can’t say that I’ve ever knowingly
listened to a band from Latvia (or any of the Baltic States), but these
guys obviously know their power metal. They strike me as most power
metal bands do – the backing music is usually kickass, it’s just the
vocals you have to get used to. The voice here reminds me of Iced Earth
(Matt Barlow at times, Ripper Owens at others) and since I’m a big fan
of that band they didn’t take long for me to become accustomed to. They
seem to drop most of the over-the-top, gay stuff that defines most power
metal bands and simply keep the vocals, so that’s a good thing. This
stuff is right up your alley if you dig power metal. Nothing to drop
your pants and jerk off to, but still good nonetheless. 6

Desert Eagle: Well I wonder how high this album is
going to score? Regardless, if you like power metal then you should
check this album out. It’s nothing too spectacular, but shit, not
everything can be. What to expect: falsettos, solos, cheese. Oh yeah
they have a really stupid name too, in case you didn’t notice. 7

The Abyss: Heavy/power metal. The fuckers are
probably German or Italian… Still, I’ve heard much more annoying bands
then these guys. I sometimes get some Rage-vibes, which is a plus. Rage
rules. Brainstorm… Well, they leave me with absolutely no feelings or
memories whatsoever after 51 min of music. Can’t be a good sign. 4

Syrrok: Liquid Monster – Give me a fucken break!
Really? Brainstorm? Liquid Monster? How the hell does this even make it
to our list? Is there anything different with this power metal bullshit?
Nope. 2

Derek: These guys almost had me when the album
started up with some heavy groove. Then the ball-less power metal vocals
sank in; OK, fine, I can deal with this. Then the music faded out and
some announcer reminded me what album / band I was listening to. Out of
spite, I stopped the album from playing, set it on fire, extinguished
the ashes with my piss, fed the remnants to a starving dog, then burned
the dog and buried it in a landfill. The world is now a better place.
I’ve left liquid monsters more interesting than this on tube socks. 3

Imperial: This grave is my poem Imperial: This grave is my poem

3.8 /10

Lord K: What is it with all the fucken crappy bands
getting a record-deal when bands like 2 Ton Predator can’t fucken score
one? The record-industry can eat my cum. And Imperial can do the same.
“This grave is my poem”, huh? “This album sucks ape-penis” is more like
it. 2

Farlus: Okay, I’m pretty sure these guys are
hardcore, although I thought Nightrage was hardcore so take my words
with a grain of salt. When I first started listening, I said “Great, a
hardcore band…” but unlike every other hardcore band I’ve heard, this
band never lapsed into the gay clean emo vocals with the poppy guitar
lines. They continued to crush and destroy in a hardcore manner. They
utilize clean vocals on a couple of the songs, but not in the way 99% of
hardcore bands do. If only everyone else in that scene would follow
this band’s example, then Victory Records wouldn’t be the worst label on
the planet. If you dig the music of hardcore but would like to see the
gay vocals replaced by more screams/growls, this is your band. 6

( Can someone please fucken give Farlus a hardcore-album so he finally understands what that fucken genre sounds like… – Lord K )

Desert Eagle: Since so much of this CD sucks I’ll go over the list of things that don’t suck since that’ll take less space. 1) I didn’t have to buy it. Yep that’s about it. 3

The Abyss: A metalcore band from Florida with some
whiny clean vocals snuck in between the regular screaming vocals. Need I
say more? But to be fair, Imperial isn’t totally hopeless. There’s some
tiny traces of Gothenburg-death and heavy metal-harmonies here and
there. Just a shame everything is extraordinarily unoriginal. Fuck off
and go back to the label/planet (Pluto) you came from. 3

Syrrok: I literally burned this album to a CD and
threw it out my car window the same day. But I hit an Asian walking on
the sidewalk so perhaps the “fate” of that experience will create a new
metalhead. 2

Derek: This band reminds me of Killswitch Engage
and AFI. In my case, that’s a good thing. The music does get a bit
cheerily melodic, but someone starts yelling soon enough that you have
no fear of catching “the gay”. It’s catchy, in a good way; like watching
some guy get kicked down the stairs at a soccer game—a guilty pleasure.
7

Fozzy: All that remains Fozzy: All that remains

3.8 /10

Lord K: Chris Jericho is a good wrestler and he can
obviously do some music too. Better than The Bushwackers, worse than
The Rock. I didn’t expect shit and was quite suprised with this. 5

Farlus: I guess this album is Fozzy’s attempt at
being a serious band, but I just can’t take any band seriously that has a
professional wrestler, especially Chris Jericho, as a singer. I can’t
believe people like Zakk Wylde and Marty Friedman bothered to contribute
at all to this lump of garbage. I’d rather watch sweaty guys in spandex
fondle each other for four hours a week than listen to this ever again.
Oh wait, I already do. Thanks, WWE. 1

Desert Eagle: Eh, I give them an E for effort. I
admit part of me wants to hate this band solely because Jericho from WWE
is in it. However they do have some sick guitarwork so bonus points
right there. Plus Rich Ward’s vocals are pretty good too so it’s not all
bad. 6

The Abyss: A band with a stupid name featuring
members from a band noone care about and with a wrestler on vocals.
Doesn’t exactelly sound like a recipie for success eh? You’re right,
this isn’t very good although Fuzzys mix of nu-metal, blues-based metal
and pop in all honesty could be ALOT worse… maybe. But when Jericho
starts to rap in “The Test”, I just don’t know how they could pollute
this bowl of donkey-feces more! I’m sure Fonzie will be a big hit on the
American airwaves and MTV… personally, I will never listen to this
boring crap ever again. 2

Syrrok: This is what happens when a joke band takes
itself seriously. Its like Chris Jericho is Lion Taming your ears!
(WHILE SCREAMING) 3

Derek: Despite being an avid wrestling fan, a
Canadian, and a fan of Chris Jericho, this is my first time listening to
Fozzy. I actually listened to The Macho Man’s rap album and it scared
me away from wrestler music, and old men who enjoy snapping into Slim
Jims. Luckily Fozzy doesn’t involve any middle-aged men rapping about
Hulk Hogan and keeping it real, just Chris Jericho and Rich Ward busting
out some standard hard rock. Decent, catchy, amusing, and if that’s
really Jericho screaming on “Born of Anger”, I’ll add a point. 6

Paradise Lost: Paradise Lost Paradise Lost: Paradise Lost

3.8 /10

Lord K: Wake me up when it’s over. This shit makes me very drousy. 3

Farlus: I’ve listened to this album twice now (an
accomplishment for AA, to say the least) and I still don’t know what to
think. Like most of the other bands on this thing I haven’t followed
Paradise Lost much, but I was under the impression that they were
supposed to be depressing, moody music like Katatonia or somesuch… Sure,
some of the songs sound a bit like that, but for the most part I don’t
get that feel from it. After two whole listens, all I can think is “eh”.
So there’s my reivew of this album. “Eh”. 4

Desert Eagle: So this band used to be pretty damn
good. Then they thought, “Well we’re tired of kicking ass so lets try
something different.” There’s nothing wrong with wanting to try
something new. Well actually there is. When that something new is
sucking, then I have a problem with it. What we have here is wussy goth
rock. If that’s your kind of thing, you should be shot. 3

The Abyss: I loved “Symbol of life” and this is a
continuation in the same vein, only a bit more guitar-heavy. The only
thing lacking is… well-written, catchy songs. Paradise Lost are capable
of so much better. 6

Syrrok: Oh! So this is the ONE album they have
finally decided to self title. Such a ballsy move on a bands part – to
self title an album. That either means you believe this is your best
work, or you’ve given up trying to put any kind of intelligence into
your writing. This music makes goats jump off cliffs. 2

Derek: I honestly have no idea if I like this or
not. It’s boring, but I keep listening to it. I feel like a retard being
led around by a Twinkie on a string. It’s like that really good song is
just out of reach. Then the disc ends. These guys should stay lost,
too! (I hereby give myself an extra cleverness point for using the same
joke twice!) 5

Origin: Echoes of decimation Origin: Echoes of decimation

3.3 /10

Lord K: Origin are too weird for their own good.
Hell,they are too weird for everyone’s good. Impressive as a deke by
Peter Forsberg as far as musicianship goes, but it doesn’t come across
as very listenable. Too much calculating, too little groove. 4

Farlus: Seems like just your standard “br00tal”
death metal. I didn’t even realize the album had ended when it did.
Guess it wasn’t interesting enough to keep my attention. 3

Desert Eagle: I really can’t complain about this
album. I mean, sure it sucks but there were a bunch of good ones this
month so at least I didn’t have my spirit crushed with all bad albums
like last month. But yeah, if you like by-the-books grind/death, then
enjoy! 4*

The Abyss: “GRRRUUUUUUH!” Well-played
über-technical American death metal with low and high growls and lots of
triggered drums and miniscule songwriting-skills. Yawn. Next please! 4

Syrrok: If Dinosaurs farted metal and humans then
named those farts, they’d call it “Origin, Echoes of Decimation.”
Dinosaur fart-metal at it’s best. 1

Derek: Echoes is a good name; I keep hearing the
same sound over and over again. Drum trigger clicks and gargling. This
album has one speed, as-fast-as-fucking-possible, and it stays at that
speed until it ends. There’s only so many times you can skullfuck
someone before they get annoyed and they’re all like “can you at least
sodomize me with a pair of salad tongs or something”. I think… The point
is, brutality is boring if it’s the same thing over and over again.
This album sucks. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. 4

Six Feet Under: 1 Six Feet Under: 13

3.2 /10

Lord K: Six Feet Under is probably one of the worst
bands on this planet, ever. Chris Barnes is not a vocalist, he’s a
fucken joke. And so is everything else about this band. I rather put a
ton of sand in my vagina than listen to this bullshit ever again. Fuck
off. Fuck off forever. Please? 1

Farlus: I’m not supposed to like this album. I’m
not supposed to like this album. I’m not…AHHHH THIS ALBUM FUCKING
RULES!!!! Chris Barnes is still an asshat douchefag that needs to be
pinned down and raped by a pride of lions… twice, but I can’t stop
banging my head. Fuck. Damn you, Six Feet Under. You’re supposed to
suck. 8

Desert Eagle: C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me. 2

The Abyss: Someone unaccustomed to death metal may
believe that SFU deliver high-quality, blistering, heavy well-written,
well-sung metal. They are wrong. 1

Syrrok: This band obviously LOVES numbers, SO I’LL
GIVE THEM A NUMERICAL EQUATION TO SOLVE! 13 – 12 = Your rating, you
shitmerchants. WE’RE NOT BUYING! ROAR (that’s the sound of my ears still
being lion-tamed thanks to Fozzy)! 1

Derek: Chris Barnes and co. are back, and not a
single covered AC/DC song in sight; already good news. Everything sounds
solid musically, although Barnes sounds like he should maybe fire-up
the bong after his recording sessions – his voice is pretty shabby these
days. All in all a decent album, and a lot better than I ever expected
from Six Feet Under. Points deducted for the song title “Deathklaat”,
whatever the fuck that means. Less made up words, more chainsaw sodomy
next time. 6

Running Wild: Rogues en vogue Running Wild: Rogues en vogue

3.2 /10

Lord K: Someone sink this sorry ass ship. 2

Farlus: This album makes me feel like I’m back in
1981 sporting long, undercut hair and a sporty headband, using one hand
to close a nostril to snort some cocaine while using the other hand to
hold my Budweiser with vintage logo, and getting a knobjob from two
groupies complete with poof perms and acid washed jeans. ROCK ‘N’ ROLL,
FUCKERS! 8

Desert Eagle: What the fuck. 1

The Abyss: It’s really hard to not make a
pirate-reference when talking about Running Wild. Mostly because there’s
not much else remotely interesting going on with Rock ‘n’ Rolf and his
heavy metal crew these days. Their creative boat sank after “Black hand
inn” and Rolf’s been treading the same waters ever since. 5

Syrrok: I’m going out on a limb and saying this is
easily K’s favorite album of this month’s AA. It’s brutal, heavy,
balls-the-fuck-out heavy metal! Or it’s none of those things! 1

Derek: Who would have thought it would have been
possible; power metal and 80s pop rock, breeding together like two
lepers, creating the cheesecore spawn known as Running Wild? There’s
enough syrupy content to give you diabetes, and enough power metal
effeminism to cause a defensive clenching in anyone’s ass. Corny? I feel
like I’ve be raped with the whole cob, while guys in 80’s clothes
jerked off in my hair. 2

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on June 19, 2014 by in Audio Autopsy.
%d bloggers like this: