Life is strange, and humans are stranger. But sometimes the strangest thing of all is what humans perceive as being good, even great, music. A recent encounter I’ve had which exemplifies this human oddness is a guy I met perchance at a Prescott Valley gas station, when he caught me checking out his mud flaps. To my dismay, he started talking to me because I was wearing an Iron Maiden shirt and he was listening to some sort of melodic death metal while pumping unleaded plus into his Nissan. There’s no real connection between Iron Maiden and Deathember Flower, but he seemed to think so. At least it resulted in an amusing interview with the self-proclaimed biggest Deathember Flower fan ever. Enjoy.
S: What’s your name?
D-Trick: Well, my real name is Dean Theodore Dennis, but my bros call me D-Trick.
S: Right, I’ll call you D. By the way, that’s a nice Metal Mulisha tattoo you’ve got on your forearm.
D-Trick: Thanks, bro. It’s my fave clothing brand. My boy Tommi did it for me in his living room. He’s got a sweet set-up if you ever need a hook-up I’ll text him your info.
S: Uh, thanks. So, D, we’re here to discuss a band that you really seem to like. Can you tell me a bit about it and why you like it?
D-Trick: Dude yeah, they’re called Deathember Flower. They’re like, from Russia, I think. (Interviewer’s note: They’re from Ukraine.) I don’t just like them; I’m like their biggest fan ever!
S: Tell me a bit about December Flower’s sound.
D-Trick: Deathember Flower.
S: Yeah, December Flower.
D-Trick: Whatev. They’re like a death metal band that sounds like metalcore. It’s like a cross between the Black Dahlia Murder and The Dillinger Escape Plan with a hot-asschick on vocals. This chick is all over the place, dude; she growls, sings, whispers, and does these really sick tough-guy vocals, kinda like Hatebreed.
S: What’s your favourite track from their debut album, “Architect”?
D-Trick: “Architect”, dude! It starts off all crazy-like and technical and shit. You know that really old band, Death?
S: Um, yes…
D-Trick: I don’t know all their stuff that well, but I saw some of their “Sounds of deliverance” album on YouTube and that was some wild shit, man. (I think he means “The sound of perseverance”) Do you know Decrepit Birth?
S: Yes. Do you?
D-Trick: Yeah, they kinda suck. Well, their vocals do. But if you take Decrepit Birth and Death and replace the lame vocals with a sweet-ass chick screaming, let it build up till you can’t take it, and BOOM! Smooth female vocals kick in and save the day.
S: Hmm, I’m sure the clean, melodic girly vocals really take it up a notch, huh?
D-Trick: Aw, yeah, she’s my babe. Those Russian women are hot. The song “Insidious” is pretty sweet. My fave is the crazy-ass breakdowns when me and my bros thug it out in the mosh pit!
S: (Note to self: “Thug it out”?)
D-Trick: But it’s cool ‘cause it has the slow, soft parts that my girlfriend, Amber, loves. When she feels like a bad girl, she likes to put it on while we make out.
S: Wow. That’s… cool. Is there anything else you’d like to say about December Flower?
D-Trick: Deathember Flower. I like that the sound is really crisp and clean on my iPhone and not all crappy sounding like it’s a fuckin’ CD or something.
S: Yeah, that MP3 sound; can’t beat it with a stick. How did you discover this band, D?
D-Trick: My bro Danilo found them on this webzine called Terroraiser.
S: You mean Terrorizer.
D-Trick: Naw man, I think it’s Terroraiser.
S: Those Eastern Europeans and their originality. Well, thanks for talking to me, D. It has been interesting.
D-Trick: Cool, dude. Let me know about that tattoo business; I’m sure Tommi will give you a break ‘cause you know me and you’re a chick and stuff. Peace out.