In a new feature here at GD we will cover a certain year in the most
brilliant manner, enlightening you (of shit you most probably missed out
on) in the process. Sometimes other staffers will chip in with some
tips of albums they think the writer in question forgot about, albums
worthy of being mentioned for one reason or another. Other times it will
be a sole effort, a flawless display that covers everything you need to know about this certain year. Just like the one you will read, respect and love in a second.
19-fucken-88, assholes… My beloved wife Kathrin was 7 years old. She
played with Barbie dolls, had a fucken gerbil (which she named “Rat”,
real special name for a gerbil, darling…) and started going to school.
Me on the other hand, I was on a fucken mission. A mission of metal,
getting laid and accomplishing pure domination. A mission I have
perfected over the years, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
In 1988 I was 15 years old and, like any other 15 year old, didn’t know fucken shit about anything, though I knew everything about everything.
This is the year when I recorded my first real demo (home recordings on
your cassette player don’t fucken count) in a “studio” (a basement and a
portable 4-tracker were the tools, along with a Tibetan-or-something
fucko named Tibor Murazombathi. Not sure about the spelling of that
idiot’s last name, but fuck it. He sucked, the demo sucked and the sound
sucked – so it’s all good. Why do I even remember these things?) and
did my first ever live appearance with my band Legacy, not to be
confused with the pre-version of Testament who obviously took their
moniker from us. Legacy, yeah… I envy the people who watched us that
night. On drums they witnessed a great human being who were about to
achieve praise and fame as the years passed by. Yes, that drummer was
Yours Truly. The reception was mind blowing. All 30 people cheered and
had their jaws dropped down to the core of the Earth. The applauds of my
performance can still be heard to this day. The Icon had finally
1988… This is the fucken year when I went and watched Candlemass,
Ice Age and Agony destroy Kolingsborg in Stockholm (literally, as
Messiah put his foot through the stage floor while doom-dancing). I
remember it like it was yesterday. Candlemass killed. Ice Age killed in a girlie kind of way. But most of all, Agony killed the fucken universe and everything in it that evening.
R.I.P. Pete, you’ll always be missed. This gig helped shaping what I
wanted to do with my life, namely being a musician. March 12th, 1988.
Thank you Agony, and thank you Candlemass. Ice Age gets no thanks,
though I dug them somewhat at the time. After all – they had tits. And I know tits have inspired me as well when I think about it, so I have to thank Ice Age after all.
I also went and watched my fave band at the time, Slayer, at
Fryshuset in Stockholm this year. It was magical. It was absolutely
otherworldly. I remember getting Messiah Marcolin’s and some guy (one of
the guitarists… Peter, was it?) from 220 Volt’s autographs on my right shoe (yes, I even remember this was the type of shoe I wore. They were fucken in-demand at the time. The great Ross from Immolation still fancies them,
which is awesome). But back to Slayer since the topic of shoes seems to
be thoroughly dealt with. I have seen them many times since 1988
(Slayer, not the shoes), and I have also watched them sitting on the
very stage a few meters away from Hanneman some years back, but this
time (1988 still, so you don’t forget), with their best album “South of
heaven” having just been released, it was… nirvana. I mean, seriously –
take a look at the setlist from this evening:
N-I-R-V-A-N-A. This concert also helped greatly in shaping what I
wanted to do with my life, as previously mentioned – be a musician.
September 8th, 1988, was the date. Thank you Slayer.
I also watched these guys at this very gig,
but that was a year later so nevermind. Have you noticed that I have
mentioned both “nirvana” and “nevermind” in this paragraph? It has
nothing to do with nothing, just so you know. Anyways, the mid-80’s to
mid-90’s, those were the fucken days. Sorry, I am wandering about, but
now we concentrate on the year at hand again. It’s still 1988 so you
don’t get all confused and shit.
Lots of awesome albums were released 2 years prior to 1990, we’ll
get to that in a bit, and quite a bunch of shit saw the light of day
FIY, I know all of these things happened
in 1988 becoz I am wise. No Google for me. Seriously. I could bring up a
few hundred things that happened this glorious year, but what I will
(finally) focus on here are (some of) the albums that really had an
impact on me and my life in 1988, ranked in order of personal (duh!)
importance. I might have forgotten some essential pieces, perhaps Iron
Maiden’s “Seventh son” should have gotten a nomination, f.e., but hey…
What’s the fun in getting everything right the first time? Just think
back on the first time you dove headfirst into the poontang – didn’t
work out too fucken well, now did it… See what I mean?
You can view everything written above as the intro, coz that’s what
it is. This 1988 coverage wasn’t planned to be such a massive wall of a
text, but hey – someone needs to educate you dipshits and it’s hard to
do in just a few sentences (especially since you guys are borderline
retarded). Anyways, be grateful.
So, buckle up, grab your cock and enjoy the fucken ride, you
worthless but semi-beautiful sons of wart bearing whores. These are the
most important albums released in 1988, with some choice comments on
their looks from, pretty much/maybe (who gives a fuck about research
anyways?), the time of releasing said albums.
1. Agony: The first defiance
The Kings. The Legends. Agony.
They did just about everything right on this album and made me a
lifelong fan in the process. “The first defiance” is a case study in how
to do thrash metal. Sure, they were not the first, but they were/are
among the best. Never will Sweden see another band of this caliber. Many
have tried, all of them have failed.
I have pointed out in my Class666 coverage
what it is that makes this recording so special. As to not repeat
myself (which I have already done, damnit…), I suggest you go read that
piece. Lemme just say that never will Sweden see another band of this
caliber. Many have tried, all of them have failed. In case you missed
it: never will Sweden see another band of this caliber. Many have tried,
all of them have failed.
I love you, Agony. I truly love you. If you were a fucken chick with
great tits I would marry you. I deserve you and you deserve me. Thanx
for the sweet audio-sex. I am still cumming, you beautiful little
Don’t you dare to think that this amount of hair in one picture
is the work of some shitty US glam band. Agony could sport the do’s,
white sneakers, jeans and Mercyful fate shirts with the best of them.
They could do absolutely nothing wrong.
2. Slayer: South of heaven
I thought you fucken blew the first time I heard you on “Hell
awaits”. Sure, I dug that heavy-ass intro with those heavy-ass toms
going boom-boom all night long, but… then you started playing so fucken
fast. I had never heard anything quite like it. But you know, Slayer,
one day it dawned on me that the fast shit was absolutely incredible! It
just happened like that and I was hooked like a Polish prostitute on smack and peanut butter. You guys fucken brought it.
Sure, “Show no mercy” isn’t all too fucken hot and no one gives a
fuck about that album, really. But after “Hell awaits” you did “Reign in
blood”. That one was faster than anything in the world, dangit!!! But
it also had some incredibly awesome tunes. I started to love you right
there and then, but it was with “South of heaven” where you put it all
together. I will forever be grateful to you for releasing such a
Everyone know this is your best album, but it’s the norm to claim “RIB” is it. I know you agree with me on “SOH”, though, so once again – thank you for a musical milestone and a huge inspiration to my life as a musician.
Even thought you kinda suck nowadays I will always be your humble servant.
Kerry King once had hair. Seriously. And fact is, he had hair
when Slayer were at the top of their game. Once he shaved that shit off
the music started to become quite boring. I say grow that half-mullet
back and get me another “South of heaven”.
3. Znöwhite: Act of god
What an album. And no one fucken knows about it except for me and Grind-Ove.
And no one loves it but me and Grind-Ove. That Grind-Ove fucko is sure a
good guy, obviously. On “Act of god” Znöwhite delivers some amazing
thrash with chick vocals that are killer all around. In female metal we
have the Doro Peschs, Angela Gossows, Leif Edlings, Vixens, Bon Jovis
and so forth and so on, but there’s only one Nicole Lee, and she was in fucken Znöwhite. Nicole takes a menstrual piss’n‘poo on all the competition for this kind of music.
The fact Znöwhite weren’t bigger than they were (or even big at all) is a fucken embarrassment to the world of metal. This album is shockful of thrash hits and great playing along with awesome tunes
and a great production for its time. I bet Nicole’s like 400 years old
today, but I’ll have her kids any day of the week. Wait, that didn’t
come out right… And I fucken hate kids, so forget about it. I wish I
could link to a review here at GD for this album, but of course we don’t
One black giant, one chick and 2 other leather jacket wearing
muthafuckers are responsible for one of the best fucken thrash albums
you never knew about.
4. Candlemass: Ancient dreams
“Ancient dreams” is one of the classic 4 albums by Candlemass, and
the one main man Leif seems to like the least of those 4. This is very
weird to me. It’s full of killer material and the production is awesome.
It’s the perfect third album where third albums usually are the hard
ones for a band, as the saying goes. They did nothing wrong here and I
don’t really understand why it gets so little love from Leif. I believe
he says it was rushed. It doesn’t sound like it. To me it sounds like
the mentioned masterpiece it is.
“Ancient dreams” is the third best in Candlemass’ discography (after ‘Epicus’ and ‘Nightfall’ respectively) and if you’re not a fan of the imminent doom presented here – YOU MUST DIE. I put that in CAPITALS so you understand the importance of what I said. The fact that Candlemass started to lose it after ‘Tales of creation’
is another story. Sure, they have redeemed themselves a little with
their later albums, but nothing comes close to “Ancient dreams” and the
ones before it. That is fucken fact. Yeah, I know… I have said all of
this before, but fuck me if I could come up with new shit every time I
write something. Shut up and be happy I care about you as much as to
give you these awesome paragraphs of superior writing. I forgive you for
being ignorant. And ugly.
If I were drummer Jan Lindh (2nd on the left) I would do
anything within my power to erase this picture from the archives. The
only one who can live with this shot is guitarist/superhero Lars (1st on
the left). He had that incredibly shiny and awesome hair that chicks
love and guys wish they had. That, and he plays guitar better then you
5. Testament: The new order
After loving “The legacy” for quite some time I stumbled upon this
record out of nowhere at a store in the Swedish shithole city
Södertälje. This was before the Internet, fuckos, things were different
back then. You didn’t get all the albums presented to you on a monitor,
you found them in record stores (most of you don’t even know what a
record store is).
Anyways, as I saw this one in all its glory I literally pissed
myself out of joy. I bought it (or more likely my mom did, it’s not like
you make a shitload of cash when you’re a non-drug dealing 15 year old)
and I just looked at the album art in the car on the way home for 2
hours. I loved the fucken thing without even hearing it. The brilliant
logo, the blue cover… Fucken Testament, dudes… They were the shizzle on
the fizzle in the rizzle dizzle, you know.
When I finally put it on my record player it didn’t leave it for
many, many weeks. This was all I listened to, day in and day out, for a
long time. Without a doubt Testament’s best fucken effort and a piece of
recording I will always treasure. At the time of writing this we
appreciate both “The legacy” and “The new order” so fucken much we don’t
even have them covered in our archives. That’s a fucken achievement
right there. Someone better redeem that. We got pretty much all of their
other fucken albums down though. Here’s one. Here’s another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And the last one.
I’m not sure what these guys were thinking upon the time of this
photoshoot. Testament aren’t supposed to look like a boy band a’la New
Kids On The Block with guitars. Especially Louie’s (bottom left) look is
6. Metallica: …And justice for all
Everyone who heard this one for the first time was completely
floored by the amazing production. Those kicks were just sounding insane
and all kinds of rumours as for how to get that clicky sound floated
around in the underground. You could put a 5 SEK coin
to the bass drum head and use a wooden kick for optimal effect. I did
that. A lot of people did that. It sounded ok, but it didn’t sound like
Lars Ulrich’s kick. I wonder why… Another reason to hate Lars, only back
in 1988 everyone loved him. I know, it sounds extremely weird. People
actually loved Lars at one point of his life. Brr…
The production on “Justice” hasn’t aged too fucken well over the
years, a well-known issue to say the least. I still like the sound of
this album, despite it having no bottom or bass whatsoever. What it does
hold, though, is some great fucken tunes. “Justice” is the last album
where the “old Metallica” still had some glimpses of “old Metallica” on
it. Ok, the black album’s got its moments (and the fantastic production)
too, but “Justice” has got better songs, thrashier songs, heavier
songs. They were still vital here, Metallica were.
This is a great
fucken piece of music, and weren’t it for the fact that the “new
Metallica” is a bunch of incompetent hacks (mainly Lars Ulrich. James
and Kirk are awesome guitarists and Rob can play the bass too, I guess),
a re-recording of this one with today’s technology would have been
great. Just don’t use James vocals of latter years. Keep the ones from
the original recording, coz fuck knows his voice has turned to absolute
garbage. Either way, “…And justice for all” is a killer album and a
personal 1988 thrash milestone for centuries to come. Wanna read more GD
coverages of this once-great band? Here you go:
This one has “Kill” in the title. This one has “Lightning” in the title. This one has “Master” in the title. This one has “Justice” in the title. This one doesn’t really have a title per se. This one is one of the worst albums ever recorded by a band of this magnitude. Oh, and there’s some album with “Garage” in it as well. They have some other albums too, but we obviously never gave a fuck about those.
When Metallica looked like this they sure knew what the fuck they were doing. Then it eventually turned into this and we were all fucked big time.
7. Helloween: Keeper of the seven keys II
Back in the day, Helloween weren’t really considered to be a cheesy
band. These guys meant business. I loved them. I actually worshiped them
from the moment I heard “
Balls Walls of Jericho”. I thought
it sucked that Kai stopped singing and they brought in some unknown
fucko named Michael Kiske. Until I heard him on the first “Keeper”
album. I loved Kai’s vocals (no matter how shitty they actually were)
but Michael Kiske… he really made this band shine.
The first 2 “Keeper” albums are phenomenal (don’t even mention
there’s a third one). And, you know, you have to be a fan of a band
who’s got “hell” in their moniker, especially when you’re but 15 years
old. I will always love the golden era of Helloween and I will always
think the Michael Weikath of today is a complete, irrelevant cunt tool.
But create music he
can once could, as is shown on this piece right here. But Kai’s material was always better. More Helloween on GD here and here.
Crazy hair, crazy poses, crazy band. This photo just speaks CRAZY! I especially like Weicunt’s finger-to-the-head thing. It’s like he’s making it clear that “- Inside here: nothing but vacuum.”
8. Sanctuary: Refuge denied
I was never particularly fond of Megadeth. They had a few decent
tunes, and that was that. When “Refuge denied” caught my interest in the
record store in Strängnäs, Sweden, it was becoz it had this sticker on
it saying something like “Dave Mustaine –
producer/faggot/delusional/jackass/jerkoff, etc”. I don’t know why, but I
took a listen to it despite me not liking Megadeth much.
Sanctuary had me at fucken hello.
Warrel Dane sounded amazing and the songs spoke volumes to me. I had
found myself another fave band. “Refuge denied” is a beauty, and the
best thing is they got even better on the follow-up. Then it all turned
to shit; Warrel’s vocals, Nevermore, yadda yadda yadda… Fuck it all.
Since we haven’t covered either of the 2 Sanctuary albums here at GD (we
are consistent as fuck with our fave releases, you know), there’s no
links for you to click. Unless you want to read about Nevermore, I’m
sure we have something by those guys. But I am not linking coz Nevermore
can suck it.
Nothing wrong with this one. As standard as it gets apart from
one thing – Warrel Dane’s anti-afro. I remember that was the longest
hair I had ever seen when I saw this pic. He should be proud. Later he
changed it into half the length and a cowboy hat. Failure.
9. Forbidden: Forbidden evil
I am so old I actually interviewed Russ Anderson in Fagersta, Sweden, back in 1989
for my fanzine Hypnosia. This was when the guys were touring for their
“Forbidden evil” album and were about to release “Twisted into form”. A
few weeks prior to this gig I bought this, their debut, based solely on
the cover; 2 fag skulls at full speed, about to make out in a colorful
explosion of pinkish and blue. I just had to have it. I mean, I prolly
wore Anthrax shorts at the time, there were no limits to the madness.
Buying albums based on pink and blue cover art was the most natural
To be perfectly serious, I mostly bought it becoz they supported
Sacred Reich whose “Surf Nicaragua” EP I adored, but since it’s but an
EP I decided to let it fuck off from this list. Consider this an
honorable mention though, coz it did mean quite a bit to me) at the gig I
referred to earlier. And yes, the cover did play a part in the
purchase. I took a listen to it and Forbidden fucken floored me
completely. They floored me to the extent I even bought their live album
some time later, and who the fuck buys live albums anyways? Whatever.
Sure, “Twisted into form” is a fuckton better than “Forbidden evil”, but
the impact their debut had on me can’t be overlooked.
They were one of my faves back in the days of 1988, and they became one of my absolute fave bands at the time with “Twisted into form”. Here’s some more GD coverage on Forbidden.
It’s obvious Forbidden meant business. I like how Russ is having
his jacket on the shoulder so he can show off his hand painted
Forbidden (Evil) logo patches which his mom sew unto the jacket. Awesome
work. We’ve all been there.
10. Atrophy: Socialized Hate
Another one of these awesome bands that never got anywhere. Once
again I bought my copy of “Socialized hate” solely based on the cover
and the logo (and the fact the ad said “thrash metal!”). You just didn’t
get disappointed with your purchases some decades ago. Well, unless you
bought something with Holy Terror – those guys suck it. But these guys,
Atrophy, thrashed and slashed with the best of them and I even painted
their logo on my white denim vest that I wore to school. I was a bad
muthafucker. No one gave a fuck about Atrophy, no matter how much I
explained to them that they could be the next Metallica. They were that good.
“Socialized hate” is still a fine fucken monument
of the peak that thrash metal had in this time and age. They deserved
success but they didn’t get it, just like countless of other awesome
bands of this era. As great as “Socialized hate” was/is, they became
even better with their follow-up “Violent by nature”. The exact same
formula used by a million other bands. Seems like you should start off
releasing your second album right off the bat instead of making a debut
(exception: Agony). I know, I am a fucken genius.
If you have missed out on Atrophy you have missed out on a great
fucken thrash band. Fact. Understand. Redeem yourself. The only chick
worthy of being part of GD’s staff covered this album in a full review before she bailed on us. We still love the little slut though.
Here we got an overload of FAIL/SUCCESS!
when it comes to band photos. There’s no limit to the amazing set of
hair-do’s here. Just look at the guy to the far left. Then look at
everyone else. Then understand it’s taken inside a photo studio. And
still, they got away with it without killing anyone in the process. As
far as I know anyways.
11. Nuclear Assault: Survive
If you listen to Nuclear Assault’s older albums today you will
notice they are not very good, really. But still they are fantastic.
That’s how it works sometimes. John’s vocals are pretty fucken hideous,
but still they are awesome. How is that possible? I had the privilege to
catch these guys live back in the late 80’s (can’t remember what album
they toured on though), and they killed it. Thrash was at its biggest
and Nuclear Assault were hot as fuck at the time. Acid Reign supported them.
That was a great evening. I could have included Acid Reign’s
“Moshkinstein” EP on this list, even though it blows. I think Dark Angel
played as headliners on this gig as well. Can’t really remember. Never
gave a fuck about Dark Angel. Again, wandering about… Oh, the memories.
Anyways, everything by NA up ‘til “Survive” is some muthafucken fine
thrash metal with the occasional goofy tune (“Hang the pope” or “PSA”,
anyone?). I worshiped them. Mayhaps not for very long, but they sure
made a huge impact in my younger years. Yes, I had their logo painted on
my white denim vest as well. Here you can read about another Nuclear Assault album we saw fit to be on GD.
It looks like a part of Dan Lilker’s (top) hair decided to move
to the dude to the right’s skull. Scary shit right there. Dan looks
exactly the same today. I salute the guy. A true hero.
12. Yngwie J. Malmsteen: Odyssey
Take any fucken album from Yngwie and I’ll say they are among the
best efforts ever released, regardless of genre. All of them. Except,
they aren’t (didn’t I say this about Nuclear Assault just a second
ago?). “Odyssey” is amazing. It’s no “Rising force” or “Marching out”,
but it’s still fucken amazing. If you could do to your penis what The
Big Y can do to his guitars, you’d be re-inventing masturbation 24/7.
This guy is a legend and should be remembered and utterly respected for what he is: THE MUTHAFUCKEN G-GOAT!
The Greatest Guitarist Of All Time. You fools mentioning Ritchie
Blackmore, Jimi Hendrix, Leif Edling, The Great Kat, Tony Iommi and bla
bla bla… You know nothing. Before guitars there was Yngwie.
Guitars were created for Yngwie. Yngwie perfected playing the guitar.
All of you who play guitar do it in debt to Yngwie. “Odyssey” is just
one example of millions when it comes to this man’s greatness. Worship him. And don’t forget to read all these other articles we have on the legend himself.
There is nothing to say about Yngwie’s hair or pictures. It’s all perfect on all accounts. All the time.
13. Marty Friedman: Dragon’s kiss
Considering I can’t play solos for shit, isn’t it weird that we have not one, but two
guitarists representing the last 2 spots on this list? I know, it makes
absolutely no sense, but that’s how it is. Marty Friedman was
introduced to me by a friend (a great guitarist actually, who never made
fuck-much out of himself) and I fell in love with this album in an
instant. I played a little guitar myself on the side of being a drummer,
and guys like Yngwie and Marty showed me that I had a long way to go if
I wanted to fiddle with The Metal Axe Of Death
in the future. I told them (not personally, in thought) to go fuck
themselves. I wasn’t going to play any solos, I decided to be a damn
good rhythm guitarist instead.
Fuck you drums, welcome guitars. Both Marty and Yngwie should thank
me for carrying their torch forward. Marty later joined Megadeth which
had me not give a shit about him anymore. But “Dragon’s kiss” is full of
awesome guitar work and anyone into passionate guitar music is bound to
enjoy it. If you don’t, then you suck it. Oh, and we have no GD
articles on Marty Friedman. Simply becoz no one likes this fucken guy.
Blame the hair and his stint in Megasuck.
Dan Lilker’s twin brother when it comes to hair, only Marty’s a
bit more taken care of. Doesn’t matter, it still looks like something a
poodle would sport. And be ashamed of. That includes the gay jacket. And
the gay guitar. And the gay t-shirt. And the overall gay extravaganza.
Gay poodles FTW.
Honorable mentions of other fine albums released in 1988 that I
definitely listened to but ultimately didn’t make this list becoz I had
to draw the line somewhere:
There you go, children. Thank me for educating you losers on the year of 1988. I was there. You were not.
I win again.
Update: Forumer Shane Embury’s Ballsack has been cool enough to hand
over some tunes off this list to be played in Spotify. Not all of my
recommendations could be found, but at least these ones can be enjoyed. Thanx a fucken ton for swinging that one together, man.