As a born-again metalhead from this particular decade, I have been
reveling in its nectars to the fullest. There is so much more that I’d
murder to put in here it’s pretty gross.
1. Devin Townsend: Terria (2001)
Devin is the bee’s knees! Tits! Phallus with gravy on top!
Top-notch! Fucking topless! Topless Salma Hayek! Golden showers of
massive awesome! Like taking a golden shower of massive awesome with a
topless Salma Hayek! … The massive shit I just took. Simply fantastic.
So darn awesome in fact, that most of the albums he made in the last
decade would take the top spot on this list. However, I decided on a
one-album-per-band/artist-rule. The hard part was of course choosing one
album. Terria was what my brain felt like on this particular day.
Perhaps tomorrow I’d go for Accelerated Evolution? Maybe Synchestra? Ki?
Que? Doesn’t really matter, right? Fuck it all ”and as for music, it’s
just entertainment folks!”.
2. Strapping Young Lad: Alien (2005)
Oh, there he is again (don’t like it? Blame Canada).
3. Stam1na: Uudet kymmenen käskyä (2006)
Like a mixture of SYL and Devin’s solo-stuff eh?… as a certified fanboy I’ll take it.
4. Mokoma: Kuoleman laulukunnaat (2006)
Infinite points for flightless birds on the cover.
5. The Project Hate MCMXCIX: Armageddon march eternal (symphonies of slit wrists) (2005)
When epic scale and death metal get together to make sweet, blasphemous love unto my ears.
6. Kamelot: The black halo (2005)
7. Lamb of God: Sacrament (2006)
With a pop-producer and completely Dimebag-free these guys
managed to make the most varied and fun groove metal-record since ever.
8. Soilwork: Stabbing the drama (2005)
Something, something, gonorrhea.
9. Turmion Kätilöt: Hoitovirhe (2004)
I can dance to the metal, laugh at the disco-beats and bang my head to the humour.
10. Mors Principium Est: The unborn (2005)
Melodic death metal done the way it’s supposed to be (except way better).
11. Anaal Nathrakh: Eschaton (2006)
When epic scale and absolute lunacy get together to make sweet, misanthropic love unto my ears.
12. Mercenary: The hours that remain (2006)
Once we start counting the hours that remain, cometh 2012, I’ll be listening to this album.
13. Benighted: Identisick (2006)
What does it say about a decade when the best death metal-album comes from France (I’m not complaining though)?
14. Gloria Morti: Lifestream corrosion (2004)
There’s a certain something about uncompromisingly blast-beating through a whole album of grand melodies.
15. Demonoid: Riders of the apocalypse (2004)
Only the lack of variety in the vocals keeps this riff-orgy from basking in the glory of the higher levels of this list.
16. Rammstein: Mutter (2001)
Credit goeth to where credit is due; “Feuer Frei!” was the very first metal-track I ever got into.
17. Ghost Brigade: Isolation songs (2009)
Depression never sounded this good.
18. Ministry: Rio grande blood (2006)
Ministry stopped beating around the Bush and made their most in-your-face, straight-up rocking record.
19. Shade Empire: Sinthetic (2004)
Listen to it (I know how much you love keyboards).
20. Kragens: Seeds of pain (2005)
Incredibly overlooked thrash, also from the land of baguette, weak moustaches and head-bump.
21. Raunchy: Death pop romance (2006)
The choruses; haunting my brain since 2006.
22. Waltari: Blood sample (2005)
Metal? Check. Pop rock? Check. Industrial? Check. Punk that
doesn’t suck? Check (incredibly enough). Thrash? Check. Hip hop? Check.
Funk? Check. Fucking grindcore? Check. Mate.
23. Diablo Swing Orchestra: The butcher’s ballroom (2006)
I’m still digesting the follow-up, so until further notice, this is where it’s at when it comes to… circus metal?
24. Opeth: Blackwater park (2001)
You seriously wanna hear another word uttered about it?
25. Gojira: From Mars to Sirius (2005)
Seems to be on every other top-list around here too, and for good reason.
26. Pagan’s Mind: Enigmatic: calling (2005)
The catchiest, rockiest and nerdiest sci-fi-prog-album out there.
27. Scar Symmetry: Holographic universe (2008)
“The pitch black progress” was balls-to-the-walls fantastic and this was slightly better.
28. Turisas: The varangian way (2007)
When epic scale and Finnish Vikings get together to make sweet, hairy, ale-fueled love unto my ears.
29. Thyrane: Travesty of heavenly essence (2006)
Oh, there’s black metal?
30. Hateform: Dominance (2008)
When my collar bones hate a band, it’s a good sign.