60. 16: Zoloft smile
The guys in 16 are my favorite bunch of losers, not really, but if
what I just claimed to be true had been the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth, “Zoloft smile” would’ve been the main reason why.
I happen to like/dig all of their albums, their most recent one being
their least impressive, but they never sounded as good as they did on
what I’m in the midst of praising.
The production is top notch, punchy and loud, and since this album
is featured in this fucking list thing, I guess you already guessed that
the songwriting follows suit. The musicianship won’t flabbergast
anyone, pretto and wank is nowhere to be heard, but the riffing and
general tone of the album should erect the penis of close to everyone
claiming to dig sludge. And the lyrics…
This fucker coupled with beer, weed, and a healthy volume sets me in
the mood to raise all kinds of hell. Excluding cruelty against animals,
of course. Fuck humanity.
59. Anathema: A natural disaster
This album is not included because it’s metal – but because the band
used to be metal once upon a time. This album is actually more of a
sort of moody experimental and atmospheric rock by guys that thought
Pink Floyd was cooler than My Dying Bride or Death (right you are,
fellas) but it deserves its place on this list just as much as the metal
albums do. This album features ten strong, emotional songs that will
pull the rug out from under any listener – so much depth do these songs
contain. If any album should merit the inclusion on pure songwriting
quality, this one would be it.
58. Deathspell Omega: Si monvmentvm reqvires, circvmspice
Black metal as a thesis about God, Satan and the relation of these
two ideological creations to man. Black metal as an experimental vortex
of dissonance, sampling, rhythmic skull-fuckery, compositional ambition
and terrorizingly focused execution. Black metal that pisses on black
metal’s clichés, while expanding on its canon and showing its real
potential. This 2004 record is an experience that demands the listener’s
total focus, total immersion into its convoluted paths towards a scary
enlightenment. Yes, it’s brutal, angular, complex, demanding and
exhausting. Yes, it’s a masterpiece. Yes, you DO need it, if you’re in
the least interested in unshackled black metal.
57. Cephalic Carnage: Lucid interval
If I had my druthers, “Xenosapian” would be representin’ Cephalic
Carnage on this list. But, the masses have spoken and “Lucid interval”
has made the cut. Much like Soilet Green, these Colorado Rockies present
a fucked-up mix of death metal, grindcore, sludge, doom, and hardcore.
This is a tough record to stomach all the way though and that is the way
Cephalic Carnage wants it. “Lucid Interval” is abrasive for sure but
also entertaining. Personally, I love “Black metal sabbath” the most and
the longer songs on here really stand out. I guess I just try and
forgot that CC sometimes is a grindcore band and makes shorty,
little grindy nuggets songs that don’t appeal to me. Still, this is a
creative, experimental album that does not lack insanity or aggression. I
like the longer, more death metal tracks on here but I am sure you
grindfreaks will appreciate this shit too. Like many other records on
this list Cephalic Carnage’s “Lucid Interval” bends genres and styles
into something twisted, evil, and awesome.
56. The Devin Townsend Project: Addicted!
I don’t think anyone ever does as much with music as Devin Townsend.
The guy plays a bunch of different instruments, he sings, he produces,
he has his own label, and he releases quality albums one after another
at a pace that’s just staggering. Right now everyone’s eagerly awaiting
“Deconstruction” but let’s realize “Addicted!” was released about half a
year ago at the time of writing. No other metal musician works so much
people expect their albums every 6 to 8 months, but despite the
quantity, the quality doesn’t suffer.
Because “Addicted!” is redefining a genre here. Metal is the dark
and evil genre, with demons and the occult running amok. But here comes a
ray of sunlight, carrying neon signs, flamboyant costumes, and
strawberry ice cream with a yellow parasol. This disc is bright, sunny,
fun… and impossibly dense and detailed, because it’s still Devy.
Additionally, Anneke van Giersbergen of The Gathering fame sings her
gorgeous lungs out, and at the end of the disc, we feel like we’ve had
an awesome trip to the beach, one to never forget and always remember
with a sunglasses smile.
55. Vomitory: Primal massacre
Sweden’s finest death metal act deliver yet another of their true
gems of death metal. Few bands maintain such superior quality album
after album and with this one they really became one of my favourite
bands (even if I didn’t realize it until years after the release of this
particular disc). “Primal massacre” sports an arsenal of hits such as
the title track, “Gore apocalypse” (how’s that for a fantastic title?),
“Stray bullet kill”, “Autopsy extravaganza”, etc, etc… I could go on all
day. It’s in very rare cases that Vomitory fires up semi-weak songs and
you won’t find much of that on this album either. Quite possibly my
fave Vomitory recording, yes. Then again – most of Vomitory’s releases
are my fave recordings. Pure d-beat infested death metal – the way it
should sound, topped off with one of the better growls in the genre. And
as if that wasn’t enough – Vomitory’s got Tobben Gustafsson on drums.
He could probably play a turd and make it sound amazing.
-Lord K Philipson
54. Anaal Nathrakh: The codex necro
When I first stole this album, I was blown away by the sheer chaos
of it all. It didn’t take long, however, before it settled and became a
dear, misanthropic friend of mine. But even though I love “The codex
necro” from A to Z, a perfect album this is not, and this mainly because
you have to really turn up the volume to fucking feel its impact. The
production isn’t exactly crap, far from truly necro, but I already told
you what the problem is, so I’ll start praising the music already.
Chaotic black with an edge of grind, at least according to the
almighty Internet, is what you have in store if you this one a go. And
upon this chaotic music, interspersed with lots of delightful details,
we have a vocalist shrieking bile all over the place. Other than that,
the tempo seldom steps out of hyperdrive and the feel of total hate
never feels any less than all consuming. I love it.
When humanity is cancer, all must die.
53. Electric Wizard: Dopethrone
If you have never listened to Electric Wizard, you don’t fucking
know shit about modern doom. If you have never listened to “Dopethrone”,
you don’t fucking know one of the best doom metal records EVER.
This is the record that darkened the year 2000, with its suffocating
riffs, slower than slow rhythms, tortured vocals and fragmented stories
of occult madness, bone-marrow-chilling misery and unbridled hatred
towards everything and everyone. “Dopethrone” is doom at its most
strung-out and scary, abandoning melody and harmony for a sound that
slowly grinds the listener into an amorphous pulp, after already having
sucked his brain through his ears. This is music as torture and you
should admire it and lovingly bestow it with the adoration it demands.
This is DOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
52. Haggis: The impeccable glory of eternal war
If you ever ate Haggis, a dish made of spiced innards, you either
visited Scotland or are an unfortunate fuck unlucky enough to be born
there. Tourists and a bunch of retarded sheep fuckers aside, now it is
time for me to praise the living daylights out of “The impeccable glory
of eternal war”. Or thereabout.
Haggis is a Norwegian band up to a mix of metal, punk, oi and ska.
First and foremost metal and punk, but according to things written on
the net oi and ska are supposed to be present as well. Fuck semantics
and nitpicking, what you need to know is that “The impeccable glory of
eternal war” is one of the best records ever recorded. From start to
finish this motherfucker, in many a different way, kicks some major ass.
Think one of them behinds black people rap about when not going on
about Africa, bling, or shooting white people in the face.
Rap is crap, we all know that, so let’s talk some more about “The impeccable glory of killing everyone”.
The production is ace, a bass hardly ever sounded this good, and the
songwriting isn’t lagging one tenth of a hamster penis behind. And,
even though some of you might think of them as childish, the lyrics
makes my day from here to Valhall. Hell, if you breath, eat and shit
political correctness, they might even invoke a seizure upon you. At
least I hope so. Fuck you.
51. The Lord Weird Slough Feg: Traveller
My personal #1 record of the decade, I’m actually surprised it
didn’t wind up higher. Whenever “Traveller” popped up, in any of the
multiple reviews it received or on the forums, everyone agreed that this
is the best record of a band brimming with great material. Slough Feg,
as they now call themselves, have what it takes to be a monstrous giant
in metal… in 1985. Now with support act Iron Maiden!
For me, personally, the reason I listen to more metal than any other
kind of music is the ability to combine great technical skill from the
musicians, very advanced songwriting, and a very wide range of emotions,
all in one package with sugar on top. KVLT
sugar of course. “Traveller” excels in all these areas. It’s a concept
album about a space traveling rogue merchant, who crashes into an
asteroid, is turned into a dogman by a mad professor, causes a war and
solves it. It should get a perfect 10 for nerdiness alone!
And that’s not even talking about the music. The sheer amount of
awesome, original, wonderful and badass riffs in here is staggering,
even for a NWOBHM album. Scalzi seems to chant
more than sing, but does so with more charm a child of Robert DeNiro
and Sean Connery could convey. And all the songs are construed in such a
perfect manner, they link but do not flow together, each one connecting
logically to the next. The production could have been a bit better, but
fuck it, this is my #1 album of the decade, and with good reason; it’s
just that fucken brilliant.