50. Dark Funeral: Diabolis interium
Melodic black metal perfection. Yep, that’s what it is. What an
album, guys… What an album. There’s not a single weak moment on here and
you really just need to read my very old review
as it sums up all my thoughts. This is Dark Funeral’s finest hour and
it’s also one of the best albums to ever infest my stereo. The fact that
it’s placed smack in the middle of this list is a muthafucken disgrace.
That’s how it goes when you run a democracy and get persuaded into
believing voting is the way to work these lists. Then we get general
errors like these. It’s a miracle “Diabolis interium” isn’t in the Top
10. Or even Top 3. I guess it just shows what kind of fucken retards I
have employed here. Bastards. I hate you all.
Go fetch your copy of this album (you do have one, I hope), crank up
the volume button and blast the black metal supremacy that is “Diabolis
interium”. It doesn’t get much better than that, seriously. I could go
on all day but you have more entries to go thru, so…
As said: full coverage here.
-Lord K Philipson
49. Watain: Sworn to the dark
In reality, there is nothing, which is everything. Everything is
possible in the void, which is nothing. Only in Chaos can everything be
possible. The Law in its mind-numbing conformity must be vanquished, so
those sworn to the dark might reach beyond the spheres of mankind and
fulfill their true potential. Sound weird? Pretentious? Well, I don’t
blame you for not understanding. Watain’s philosophy is as enigmatic and
shrouded in mystery as it is powerful and interesting, and it is an
integral part of their music. The Swedes’ black metal is expertly
crafted, with lots of hooks in the riffs, melodies and drumming. The
song structures are very well-thought-out, malignant and relentless
verses often exploding into slower, catchy choruses. A black and savage
atmosphere is present throughout the record, and this onyx gem surely is
a modern black metal masterpiece. Hail Chaos.
48. Motörhead: Inferno
The new millennium had started with mixed results for Motörhead. “We
are Motörhead” was quality material but overshadowed by its bland 2002
output “Hammered”. The band had found a steady two-year rhythm by which
it released new material, but by the time it looked like they’d spent
their ammo. Well, wrong. Two years later, “Inferno” came out of nothing
and heralded another resurgence of the British rock monster, which lasts
until this day. So, while “Kiss of death” and “Motörizer” are similarly
great albums, “Inferno” takes the cake for getting the band back in the
game in the first place. Well, and for providing the rare opportunity
to hear Lemmy perform a Blues song. Other than that, catchy, uptempo
rock anthems made for the stage, a complete, heavy production job, varied songwriting and splendid performances by everyone involved have defined Motörhead ever since.
Bands who grew up listening to Lemmy shredding his throat have
already turned to shit and the originator himself with his fellow troops
is kicking ass better than ever. These fuckers may be old, but they
sure as hell ain’t stepping down yet. Not in 2004, not in 2006, not in
2008, and (hopefully) so forth.
47. Gorefest: Rise to ruin
There’s elections in the Netherlands this year. However, I don’t
think they will be necessary. You see, I figured out that when I tape
this disc to a tank, it’ll combine and form Gorefestiathan, Obliterator
of Political Bullshit, which will then proceed to kill each and every
politician asshole. In the world. This album was the fucken peak of
Gorefest’s hustling and bustling musical career in terms of sheer brute
force. The massive, crushing voice of de Koeijer is on its own enough to
blast the listener upside down through a window. ”REVOLT! REVOLT! Kill with rage, die in flames, the future is untold!”
But add to that the blasts from Warby’s drums and the catchy yet
devastating guitar riffs, and you have a monstrous force, a rolling tank
that doesn’t stop for anyone. Especially you!
The lyrics are actually a very good bonus in this death metal
mayhem, because the roars are very intelligible, and instead of random
acts of violence or worship of , you
can feel in every nerve that these guys are righteously pissed off about
something worth killing, maiming, and making fun of: the human race. So
for a big fistful of metal-plated anger crushing your face, “Rise to
ruin” is your disc.
46. Agalloch: The mantle
Following the absolute triumph of their 1999 debut “Pale folklore”
(one of my favorite albums), folk metallers Agalloch reigned the
heaviness from that one way back for 2002’s “The mantle”, upping the
usage of long, winding, post metal-y instrumental passages, as well as
emphasizing the acoustic instruments much more, since, in addition to
the beautiful use of acoustic guitars here, you’ll also hear cello work,
an accordion, even fucken deer skull-percussion! In fact, most of the
time, your attention will probably be drawn a bit more to what the
acoustic instruments are doing than their electric counterparts, but
despite how these elements may sound antithetical to a metal band,
Agalloch still makes them all work wonderfully within their style.
And, fortunately, none of the changes to Agalloch’s sound or
songwriting approach harmed the band’s basic awesomeness, as the music
here is still very memorable and effectively beautiful, with the
numerous haunting instrumentals working out very well, and despite the
many vocals-free sections, “The mantle” never loses my interest at any
fucken point. All in all, this is another great album under the band’s
belt, so don’t let the folk metal nay-sayers on GD keep you from giving
this (to quote myself) “incredible accomplishment in aural depression” a
45. Macabre: Dahmer
Over a period of 13 years, Jeffry Dahmer sadistically murdered 17
men. So sick was Jeffrey, his crimes included rape, torture,
dismemberment necrophilia and cannibalism. I know what you’re thinking –
wouldn’t his life story make a great concept for a heavy metal album?
No? Well those sick fucks that are Macabre certainly thought so.
Combining elements of grind, death, punk, nursery rhyme and barbarous
humour, this concept album tells the story of Dahmer’s life in the most
riotous way imaginable. It takes a blacker than black sense of humour
to enjoy this album, but those who have it will find this album a
classic all the way. Now, everybody do the Dahmer!
44. Vader: Litany
So you want an album that jumps through your speakers, headbutts
you, punches you in the face, kicks you in the head and then when you
are down, stamps all over your brutalized body AND
do it fucken melodically? That’s “Litany” from Vader, cunts. Fast,
intense, brutal – these are words that tend to get over used like a bad
cliché when it comes to describing metal. The fact is no album, I
repeat, no album can claim these words as their own as much as “Litany”.
This is a fucken classic through and through, packing more punch than
Mike Tyson at his peak, this is an album every metalhead should own.
43. Converge: No heroes
Converge have for a long time now shook the world with their
incredibly tight, befuddlingly complex and terrifyingly intense mixture
of hardcore punk fury and math-informed metal. Their squall of sound,
mixed with Jacob Bannon’s cathartic screams has been rained with praise
by a lot of people, including yours truly. But, hey, let’s be honest,
while everybody praised them, their angularity and extremity was really a
bitter pill to swallow. So, when “No Heroes” came out in 2006,
everybody was ready for another record that would be praised by everyone
and listened by only a few. Well, if that happened it’s a damn shame,
‘cause, while retaining the band’s trademark intensity, the songs
display a more “streamlined” approach that makes them all the more
approachable. This fact, plus the experimental side the band displays,
with longer songs and more texture, makes “No Heroes” compulsive listen
for anyone who needs something to shed blood, sweat and tears to.
42. Shrinebuilder: Shrinebuilder
Scott “Wino” Winerich. Scott Kelly. Al Cisneros. Dale Crover. You
know them all (if you don’t, what the fuck are you doing here?), you
have already offered burnt offering to their respective bands’ altars.
Now it’s the time to bow down in front of the collective power of their
2009 collaborative effort, a record that not only gives credit to the
term “super group”, but also proves beyond ant reasonable doubt why
these guys are considered giants in the world of All That Is Heavy. I
could call their music psychedelic tribal post-hardcore sludgy doom, but
that only scratches the surface of what goes on here. This is not just
the sum of the different parts each bandmember brings inside the
equation, but a record that shines bright with its force, while also
conveying a sense of laid-back camaraderie that’s extremely enticing.
The Shrine is here, so all hail to the Shrinebuilder!
41. Satyricon: Now, diabolical
With Volcano, Satyricon were headed in the right direction for
global domination, wielding their weapons of dark grooves and danceable
riffs – nothing to thrashy, harsh or occult. A true “Fuel For Hatred”
(see what I did there?), born from the purest rock and roll, then welded
onto a menacing atmosphere. With “Now, Diabolical”, Satyr has insisted
on using the same, tempo for each track (not the whole album, different
tracks, different tempos, and working with rhythm to create the effect
of changing speeds. Possibly this approach has had a negative impact on
Whilst “K.I.N.G.”, “The Pentagram Burns” and “To The Mountains” have
a fair momentum behind them, Frosts drumming is never truly allowed to
let rip as it has been before, and you can feel the guitars straining at
the leash against the restraint Satyr has forced on them. Maybe this
album is too clean and too restrained a bit of dirt and impetuousness
is present in the biggest arena filling bands, so it’s not an element
that needs to be left out in order to achieve that kind of status. This
is also the approach that gives this album an originality and freshness
that is all to absent in most other releases of this kind, namely black
metal of Norwegian origins.