GLOBAL DOMINATION

IS DEAD

Audio Autopsy – January 2005 

Anorexia Nervosa: Redemption process 

6.2 /10

Lord K: Ferocious black metal with alot of keyboards usually appeals a bit to me. Anorexia Nervosa is no exception. By mixing in some melodies into their stuff they manage to keep my interest up during the pretty long songs. I like this shit. 7

Chazz: I thought this was pretty decent modern black metal with good production. Nothing really stands out to me as being anything above decent. I dig it enough that I didn’t want to turn it off right away, but overall this one was pretty forgettable. 6

Jimmy The Duff: Maybe it’s because I haven’t listened to any black metal in fucking ages, but I’m really digging every effort of the genre put up for this month’s Audio Autopsy. Anyways, Anorexia Nervosa play heavily keyboard laden black metal. Think along the lines of recent Dimmu Borgir, but with better riffs and no fat bastard hogging all the triggers. I doubt if I’ll ever get into this album seriously, but suffice it to say that “Redemption Process” has not failed to impress. 8

Rance: Gothic black metal. Whoopy. For fans of “Dusk and Her Embrace” era Cradle of Filth, and black lip-stick. 5

Farlus: Well produced French black metal. Sounds like Cradle of Filth with a better singer. Decent shit, though I get bored with it easily. 5

Syrrok: The other surprise of the bunch. The vocals could use some work, but the music is really tough and strong. Standout drumwork for sure. Definitely the most aggressive COF rip-off I’ve heard this month. 6

Graveworm: (N)Utopia 

6.1 /10

Lord K: Mix crappy black metal, crappy heavy metal, crappy nu-metal riffs, even more crappy goth-parts with crappy vocals, crappy keyboards and crappy riffs and you got Crap-worm. Make up your fucken mind already. 2

Chazz: Blackened death metal with a good dose of melody. Of course I dig this, especially when the album grooves as much as this one does. They don’t fuck it up with a bunch of stupid “goblin” or screeching vocals either. 8

Jimmy The Duff: Most will agree that this is yet another deviation of the black metal blueprint. I’m ripping my face off trying to figure out what other bands sound like Graveworm. I know that they exist, because I have some of ‘em in my collection somewhere. Anyway, I’m sure that from this you can deduce the fact that “(N)Utopia” is my cup of shpunken (nothing I’ll go nuts over – hoho). A solid album that isn’t at all groundbreaking, refreshing or outstanding… erm… did I say it was solid? Can’t complain; Graveworm deliver on all fronts. 7

Rance: The album title fits, because this is kind of like a combo of death metal and nu-metal… with keyboards. Or something. 6

Farlus: These guys have got some pretty good songs. They need to focus on making songs like the title track though. It’s got an Amon Amarth vibe to it that I really like. The rest of the album is pretty hit or miss. I really dig that title track, though. 7

Syrrok: See my entire review. I really liked this band even though it was repetitious a little too often. 7

Scarve: Irradiant 

5.8 /10

Lord K: Another band I had never heard about, and fuck me sideways with a ladder… Take some regular brutal metal, a few doses of black metal, some technicality, some excellent musicianship, some serious groovy riffs and some insane fucken drumming and you got these fuckers. I’m utterly impressed and I dig this as all-fuck. If Scarve was a chick, I’d do her. Over and over. 9

Chazz: These guys put out a bit of an industrial influence on mostly groove-less death/thrash. Think Meshuggah with better vocals, and a slightly less proficient drummer. Nice bass guitar sound. 7

Jimmy The Duff: Soilwork meets Meshuggah. “Irradiant” is an album that I could see myself enjoying to great extent were I to give it an appropriate amount of time. However, for now this remains a “ho-hum” affair (not nice of me, I know). The vocals are well varied and equally well performed. The drumming is top-notch, and something I greatly admire. 7

Rance: If you add an ’s’ to their name, it becomes the plural for ‘scarf’ – a broad band of cloth worn about the shoulders, around the neck, or over the head. Otherwise, Scarve play technical and brutal metal. Not the greatest, but not bad. 5

Farlus: More black metal I don’t like. To make matters worse, I just skipped through some of a song and hit a solo that sounded like music from an Atari game or something. Terrible. 3

Syrrok: The more random metal I hear, the more it is proven that excellent musicianship can still lead to horribly written songs. Scarves are usually good for two things: 1: Keeping your neck warm and 2: Letting everyone know that you accessorize well. In this case, scarves are good for one thing: MAKING SHITTY METAL (and no they don’t accessorize very well either). 4

Insision: Revealed and worshipped 

5.8 /10

Lord K: This is the first time I hear Insision and I was hoping for more to say the least. Americanized death metal de luxe from Sweden. Technical and brutal, fast and furious, but also quite boring in the long-run. Sanctification do it better. 5

Chazz: This album was on a bit of the technical side for me, but definitely above-average death metal. I didn’t care much for the vocals, but overall this is pretty good. 5

Jimmy The Duff: I’m a big Insision fan, so I’ve obviously had this for a while. Excellent Swedish death metal; the riffs scream with edge and precision. I get a stiffy listening to Birath’s vocals, and the drumming kicks total ass. Shame the production isn’t as sharp as on their debut full-length, but otherwise no complaints. Easily one of the best albums in my collection. 9

Rance: Cool. Death metal with guitar solos. 7

Farlus: Death metal, sounds alot like old Cannibal Corpse or Gorerotted. I like to listen to this shit every once in a while, but not on a regular basis. About what you’d expect from a band similar to those two. 5

Syrrok: Anyone have the heart to tell these fine lads that it’s spelled “incision”? Oh wait, was the misspelling done on purpose as a playful jab at both the establishment and the English language? Fuckin idiots get a 3. But their email address is satanwins@insision.com, so 9. Just kidding, the metal is standard at best. 4

Immolation: Harnessing ruin 

5.8 /10

Lord K: After seing the video for the title-track I had high expectations for this album. Those expectations were not fulfilled, but the titletrack is still a fantastic death metal tune. These veterans should be able to create something astonishing. 7

Chazz: The legends return with a surprisingly decent album here. I thought the production kind of sucks, but in a way, it keeps the old school tradition these guys helped start. This is pretty much the album I expected from these fuckers. 6

Jimmy The Duff: More suited to my tastes than “Unholy Cult”, but not quite as good. I get the impression that there are far fewer riffs to each song. Most of the album is taken up by absolutely incredible material, but there are also some filler sections that stick out blatantly. This remains a good effort by a band that still knows how to churn out effective and unique death metal. 7

Rance: Immolation is not as cool as they used to be… I still find some stuff I like, though. Some of the dissonent guitar-riffs are neat. 6

Farlus: The “poorly produced album of this month’s AA”. It’s Immolation though, so I can forgive. All I’ve heard of theirs is “Unholy Cult” and that wasn’t spectacular, and this is about the same. Decent death metal. 6

Syrrok: Same issue as Morgion. If you suck this bad after so many years, just go take up carpentry or something. 3

Soilwork: Stabbing the drama 

5.5 /10

Lord K: I was never a huge fan of Soilwork’s stuff but that just changed a little with this album. They definitely have alot in common with In Flames but Soilwork’s got their own touch to their stuff. This is the trademark of Swedish Metal Of Today. Just a matter of time until they get their breakthrough. 7

Chazz: This sounds a lot like their other albums, but overall this isn’t half bad. This album features the same drummer as the Scarve album here on AA, fuck that guy gets around. The clean vocals ruin this one for me, but I bet these guys get a lot of chicks. 4

Jimmy The Duff: There is too much focus on Strid’s vocals. Although this has been the case for Soilwork’s past two efforts, at least the band had chops! The music presented on “Stabbing the Drama” simply doesn’t have enough substance to it. Worse than “Figure Number Five”, but it has nonetheless grown on me. This mark is still awarded at a stretch. 6

Rance: To these ears, this is the most ‘accessible’ Soilwork album yet. It’s still pretty heavy… but, fuck! Stop the crooning! 6

Farlus: I dug “Natural Born Chaos” and didn’t like “Figure Number Five”. Even worse is this one. Please quit the fuckin melodic whining and get back to the metal, please? 4

Syrrok: Yeah yeah, a far cry from their earlier shit. AND perhaps the absolute WORST album title in the history of metal. But I like this album. It grows on me more and more. Striid’s vox are more aggressive this time around and the melodies are as nice as you would expect. 6

The Showdown: A chorus of obliteration 

5 /10

Lord K: I have no idea if this is a serious band or not but they are kinda charming, in their own repulsive way. Heavy metal riffs, cowbells, hockey-choirs, growly vocals and clean singing here and there makes for a weird effort, but it works, much to my suprise. 7

Chazz: The intro on the first song is the high point of this album, it kinda goes downhill from there. This album actually has about 5 minutes or so total of excellent groove and shit, but the rest just blows. 4

Jimmy The Duff: The Showdown clearly worship Shadows Fall. In fact, these guys are nothing short of being but a clone. Not such a bad thing, really. I think that they’ve captured some of the energy found rampant on early SF albums. The clean vocal sections make me cringe on occasion, and the “shouty” growls aren’t up to the standards set by Brian Fair. The low rumblings kick my ass, though. Oh, and the riff on the opener (about the three and a half minute mark) is a blatant copy of the closing riff on Pantera’s “TGSTK” (the song). Maybe it’s in tribute, maybe it isn’t. Who gives a flying fuck?! Good stuff. 7

Rance: Yyyyyeahh! Oh wait, Nnnnnoooooo. There is some good death metal shit working here… I just dont like it and I really can’t put my finger on why. 4

Farlus: The chugga chugga shit was a nice change from all the black metal, until the singing began. Then they sound like every other metalcore band out there. I dig the guitarist’s style though. Reminds me of my boy Dimebag at times. Sometimes this band kicks my ass around the room, at other times they sound fucking terrible. Pick a style, guys. 6

Syrrok: This band looks like a showdown between 4 Peyton Mannings and 1 Danni Filth. Some would call that a fair fight. I call it a shitty collaboration. Christian hardcore? No thanks. 2

Arkhon Infaustus: Perdition insanabilis 

4.6 /10

Lord K: Some black/death metal that is pretty much all chaos and disorder. In small doses I can get by with this without throwing it out the window. Just not catchy enough for me to spin it ona regular basis. I can’t tell this band apart from the million other bands out there, that’s probably not a good sign. 5

Chazz: Whoa, lots of black metal for this month’s Audio Autopsy. These guys have a bit of death metal mixed in to their sound, which I always dig. Another decent album, but nothing great. 5

Jimmy The Duff: To get one thing off the bat right away, this is a strong slab of death/black metal. Unfortunately, I can’t see myself getting too bent out of shape over it. I’m sure a fair number of people will offer a great deal of praise to Arkhon Infaustus for this effort, and rightfully so; they deserve it. “Perdition Insanibilis” just makes me a little weary. 6

Rance: This is ‘Evil’ with a capital ‘E’ (and lower case ‘vil’… fyi). Not to mention, most of the time it’s fast as the dickens, their drummer must practice a lot. 7

Farlus: These guys do their best Dimmu Borgir impression, throwing together random words for song titles to come up with wonderfully creative shit like “Absurd Omega Revelation” or “Saturn Motion Theology”. Oh, the music is more black metal bullshit, though this has alot of death in it. More of a black/death hybrid. I half hate it and half like it. The songs are way too long though. 5

Syrrok: First off, I can’t pronounce it. Secondly, A Metallica tour-shirt said it best: “Metal up your ass”. But they didn’t say it with penis. Arkhon-infaustus does. -1

Firewind: Forged in fire 

4.5 /10

Lord K: Playing power metal should automatically render these fuckers a dead last position in this Audio Autopsy, but it’s actually better than that. Or is it? Even if Firewind’s vocalist is doing his best to sound like he’s in a definite need for a shit, he comes across ok most of the time. It’s cheesy as fuck at times but the heavier parts are actually quite catchy, it’s a shame those are very few. Or, when I think about it it’s actually good they are few or else I’d have to listen to this crap more often. 3

Chazz: These guys are talented as all fuck, and as far as power metal, these guys are at least listenable to me. Nice production. 3

Jimmy The Duff: Firewind have riffs shooting out of their asses! I don’t usually go for this kinda music (a genre I like to term Spuddshit), but something inside me is just screaming to get out when listening to “Forged in Fire”. A word… with pronounced exclamation. Raise your fist in the air, grab your chalice and cock n’ balls (what, you don’t have three hands?!), and scream to the skies with raging fury: ! METAL ! 8

Rance: Fuck off! I don’t even know what ‘firewind’ is… but, I think it has something to do with pretending you still live in the 1980’s and play hair metal – poorly. 2

Farlus: Alright, Greek power metal! This shit rocks my balls off. Especially since it’s not black metal. 8

Syrrok: Wow! I love it when fools go old school. But I don’t love it as much when the old school effort is lost in the boring metal. 3

Morgion: Cloaked by ages, crowned in earth 

4.5 /10

Lord K: Some fucken doom-bullshit that makes me wanna hit someone. Complete and utter crap and I promise, this album will never enter my stereo again. I suggest you promise the exact same thing. Stay fucken away. 2

Chazz: I’ve never been a huge doom metal fan and this isn’t going to change my mind. These guys can play, but it’s just too fucken slowly paced for me. 3

Jimmy The Duff: I wasn’t exactly blowing an hefty load of joy juice upon finding out that some old school Doom band had been included in this month’s AA roster. Well, I guess you can colour me pleasantly surprised, because this ain’t half bad. Although not something I can wholeheartedly praise (for a start, I’m not particularly familiar with such a genre), the least I can do is give the band some credit for holding my attention and keeping me relatively entertained. 6

Rance: The album title is a little too ‘My Dying Bride’… but, I’ve always liked Morgion… and this is perhaps their best work. 8

Farlus: I had to wait like 3 days for the first song to start, but once it got started, it was pretty cool. This album is like a week long so you might have trouble getting through it. It’s really doomy, moody, and slow. I dig it, for the most part. Has a My Dying Bride feel, but slower and doomier. 6

Syrrok: Let me ask you this: If you were a horrible band for 14 years, would you expect year 15 to be any different? Yes? THEN YOU SHARE MORGION’S OPTIMISM! This is just really bland, badly produced stuff. 2

Nightfall: Lyssa (Rural gods and astonishing punishments) 

4.5 /10

Lord K: Riffs made in second grade. Song-writing made in 5th grade. Vocals that never left kindergarden. Their Candlemass stolen moniker is far better than their heavy/black/metal thing. 3

Chazz: Kind of doomish death metal here, I thought it was pretty good. When I saw the name “Nightfall” I completely expected some lame gothic or power metal. I was surprised, shocked even. 6

Jimmy The Duff: My interest for this album has waned with each and every subsequent listen, which is surprising, considering that the first time I heard “Lyssa (Massive Cocks and Tight Vaginas)”, I rather enjoyed it. After a while though, boredom set in as everything appeared so damn half-assed. I guess Nightfall’s music just isn’t for me. 5

Rance: I don’t know anything about Nightfall, but based on the name I was expecting lots of rainbows and unicorns. They surprised me by being heavy. That is all. 6

Farlus: Their name reminds me too much of Nightwish. Guess what they have in common? They both fucking suck. 3

Syrrok: Nightfall makes night-ranger look like knight-rider, cuz they must have eagerly sucked Hasselhoff’s leathery cock to get a record deal. It must be extremely hard to play metal in Greece. I mean, so far Blind Guardian is the only band to be met with some success there. 4 (added a point cuz I love the olympics)

Pungent Stench: Ampeauty 

4.5 /10

Lord K: One of those bands who have been around for fucken ever without making any kind of impact on anyone. This album is actually alot better than I expected it to be. Simple death metal for the ones not craving much. If you dig the old-school days you better check this out. I didn’t think I’d ever say this about Pungent Stench, but it actually grooves sometimes. 6

Chazz: I never really got into these guys, but I have to admit, this album is pretty well done. I’ll give them credit for keeping their own style, and the lyrics are as disgusting as they always are. Good for laughs, but musically, this isn’t the heaviest thing around. I suppose they aren’t trying to be. 4

Jimmy The Duff: This style of metal has really been agreeing with me lately. There’s nothing particularly technical, nor throat-cuttingly brutal to be found on “Ampeuty”… just slow to mid-paced, heavy n’ sludgy goodness. I guess this could be compared to The Mighty Nimbus’ self-titled effort (just not as good); quality riffing with loadsa groove. I like it so much, I’m going to award it a mark higher than I think it deserves. 8

Rance: There is a stench to this album, only the boys in Pungent Stench can provide. This truly is the ‘Same shit – different asshole’. 7

Farlus: First off, “Same Shit, Different Asshole” is a great song name. However, this band is lame. Some of the beats get my head banging, but I just plain don’t like the better part of it. Making a song about the soldier who was charged with messing with Iraqi prisoners doesn’t help my opinion of them. Comedy is welcome every now and then, but I hate bands that try to be funny, fail, and still think they’re clever. 2

Syrrok: These characters make Bell Biv Davoe look like Another Bad Creation, so the pungent stench of their namesake must refer to all the philly cheese steaks they eat while singing Boyz II Men acapellas. Don’t get those references? THEN YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY NOT METAL ENOUGH TO ENJOY THIS PEACH OF A BAND. 7

Antestor: The forsaken 

4.3 /10

Lord K: “A Christian ‘Unblack’ Metal band” ?! What the fuck… I never heard about this band but seeing they have a song called “Mitt Hjerte”, they have to be from Norway. They are christian and they have a ass-name for the band… Antestor can suck my coyote. A lame effort. 3

Chazz: Another black metal band here with slick production. These guys set themselves apart from the others by being Christian and playing some balls out cock-rock style solos. This was ok, kind of reminds me of Emperor at times. Hellhammer shows off some great drumming on this one. 5

Jimmy The Duff: Antestor’s “The Forsaken” is quite the spectacular album; shame it isn’t all that original. Sounds like a mix of early Emperor and Borknagar, with some Arcturus influence thrown in for good measure. Solid production, blacker than black vocals (with some tasty female singing too) and above standard riffing; love the nod to Dissection album cover. 8

Rance: On one hand this is neat, epic black metal. On the other, it’s stupid. Fuck if I know. 5

Farlus: Yawn. More black metal. Even the little prog interludes and rocking intros like that on “The Crown I Carry” can’t save this one. 4

Syrrok: This band had an album titled “The defeat of Satan”. The Forsaken’s music is no better than that title. 1

Tristania: Ashes 

4 /10

Lord K: Atmosphere-ish, opera vocal-ish, lame guitar riff-ish, decent-ish. 5

Chazz: This album proves to me that anything more than two main vocalists is a mistake. This isn’t as bad as Nightwish (is anything worse than Nightwish?) but I honestly couldn’t listen to this more than once. They show some good songwriting and musical talent, but this isn’t my cup of tea. 5

Jimmy The Duff: I’m not too sure on what kind of genre Tristania revel in (Zzzzz Metal), but any band that names one of its singles “Angina” should be on the way to being cool in my book. Unfortunately, “Ashes” is an uninspired and very, very tedious affair. The female vocals come across as overbearingly dull and forced (well performed, though), as do most of the elements comprising “Ashes”. I can still find bits and pieces of value, but nothing that makes this any less draining to sit through. Recommended to those who think turning Goth is the answer to all their problems. 4

Rance: Tristania gets worse with each release. Somebody had to say it. They are not to the point where they are pulling albums directly from their assholes, but the lack of creativity on this one pisses me off a little bit. Maybe I need to give it a few more spins, who knows? 5

Farlus: I’m not sure how I feel about this stuff. I can’t toss it off as being another black metal band, but it does have the elements. Yet sometimes it lapses into some My Dying Bride type stuff, or some doomy/gothic interludes and I like it. It’s not knocking my socks off, but it’s pretty decent. 7

Syrrok: I knew by the band name that there would be some fucken flute music on this thing. The riffs are so retardedly boring you’d think they contracted out Limp Bizkit for them. 3

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